^{Mouse over above to SELECT YOUR preferred BACKGROUND}

The following is still only a proposal. No claims or promises are made or implied. 

"He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare,

And he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere."

-Ali ibn Abi Talib, 4th caliph (602-661)

"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate."
- Thomas Jones

A call to action.

We the bullied, are not without responsibility to network, to learn how, to stand together and organize, from such contact as we do, indeed, establish, despite all the most perfidious harassment and Relational Bullying.

This electronic document, while serving as polemic against Obscurantism and Apologism and to raise consciousness about the pandemic menace of bullying, the primary outreach is for anyone genuinely exasperated enough to at all seriously consider to conspire with me in this, a modest proposal in guerilla social engineering cultures of respect! Beyond awareness and the sociological background information provided, there remains the dire need to come together, face reality, frankly assess the situation and at long last frame an adequate agenda, the need for an organization, broad based logistical support, a clearing house for reciprocal alliances to conduct innovative outreach and intervention.

-Even by low guile without apology, to ferret out, expose, denounce, ridicule, defuse, outmaneuver, disrupt and undermine bullying and to befriend and defend targets of bullying from harassment, abuse and defamation. CliqueBusters is a proposal to come together and deploy a new and different intervention strategy for bullyproofing. Email me privately if it's sensitive, or post to the forum in order to engage public controversy! And not just about bullying in general, but preferably at all also about Clique Busters in specific, please.

As an author finding ones own voice even identity and POV, Point Of View, beyond tone, syntax and structure alone, that is the moment, finally, of the lucid and vivid articulation of theme, gaining momentum and central clarity from whence all else unfolds smoothly and powerfully. Whereas to be relationally bullied, manipulated, confused, invalidated, isolated from social connection and robbed of ones voice, is classic reversal crushing unto despair.

In the words of Thomas S. Szasz in 'The Myth of Mental Illness' New York: Harper & Row 1974. "This…is the essential communicational dilemma in which many weak or oppressed persons find themselves vis-à-vis those who are stronger or who oppress them: if they speak softly, they will not receive a hearing; if they raise their voices literally, they will be considered impertinent; and if they raise their voices metaphorically, they will be diagnosed as insane." - or, presumably, otherwise generally dismissed, or marginalized as however kooky or less than credible, often subject to the effective ostracism of social mockery and with utter impunity, even that which Sam Vaknin has dubbed: ambient or stealth abuse.

In other words, the proverbial porridge will never be the just the right metaphorical temperature. All efforts will only backfire one way or another, given the power relations of bullying as they stand.

Even Gandhi endorsed war against the Nazis, much as he exploited the crisis to end British rule in India. After all, there is never really any question as to whether or not to resort to any measure, no matter how extreme, let alone anything the more measured and moderate, but only as to under what conceivable circumstances. Nevertheless: The two most enthusiastically positive email respondents to CliqueBusters, nevertheless would barely be pressed to acknowledge and simply and adamantly refused to discuss the central concept of open or even covert or clandestine but utterly nonviolent intervention against bullying!

One of them, in his own emotionally charged experience and reflection, resonated strongly with my prose, while the other greatly valued the information resource. But what was sad was explaining to another abused and vulnerable soul that no such organization as CliqueBusters as yet exists to protect them. For even after all this time, CliqueBusers remains merely a proposal.

There is a common dilemma in writing, that to omit background obscures by lack of context, while to include adequate and extensive background obscures by detracting from whatever central new idea. Worse, engaging against the denials of apologists likewise feeds into their diversionary slight of hand, while, in the alternative, lies uncontested leave the world at the mercy of liars. And so I regret to impose upon the reader to work their way through, finding whatever they need, hopefully included, in order then to glean all that is crucial and central.

First will be established the nature and motivation for bullying from it's ancient and natural advantages, then the destructive toll which bullying has always taken, then support for the worst case assumption, to whit, that existing recourse is all too often not adequate, indeed that the authorities, such as may exist, may actually worsen the problem. Finally will be proposed in a distinct paradigm shift, organizing in new and different ways, with a unique and distinct body of practices and procedures, to monitor, recognize and respond to bullying by new and innovative measures. -The justifiability all whereof will be duely questioned and then seriously addressed.

The Meaningless futility of Life

The very first thing anyone ever pays attention to as an infant and later a young child is whatever one needs to survive in physical reality. Indeed, the very first lesson you learnt, was that your survival depended upon others. Specifically, you learnt what to do (and later, to say) in order to get what you needed. You learnt that when others approved of you, they would nurture you. When they disapproved of you, they would withdraw that nurturing.

You learnt to pay attention to whatever gave you the ability to control your environment. You discovered what made your care-givers pay attention to you and give you what you wanted. Later you learnt what you could do to get what you wanted on your own: grasp, reach, crawl, walk and so forth.

The basic need to survive focused your attention on whatever would aid the process of receiving approval and control. In turn, then others molded not only behavior, but even perception and world view.

When it comes to reaching out to others, there is always the direct approach to simply court whomever the other personally. Or, indeed, another indirect and even somewhat devious strategy, or courtship display, especially if one is adept at socializing and can make oneself the center of attention, is to join in with the peer group of another, and pay most of one's attention to them especially if they are of the other sex, so that they will pay attention in return; for the attention of the peer group must impress the other of the advantages in association, and also must illicit envy in the whomever the other so that they will become desirous of one's attention and therefore pay one better attention. Either way, however, there are the pitfalls of jealousy and hostility from whatever competing vested interests, cliques of hypocritical self serving bullies, unless one discerns and pays whatever their sycophantic price of collusion to ingratiate oneself and/or/else can adequately intimidate them.

Otherwise, that is why so many work so hard simply to blend in and escape notice rather than to shine. For such are the incentives and disincentives to condition people that they will yearn to belong the group, when it is actually interpersonal relationship that they are really desperate for. -To crush all misfits and dissidents and render the masses attachment disordered but socially skilled, sacrificing deeper and genuine robust and healthy autonomous social development essential to freedom in favor of conformist and heteronymous socialization in an ongoing program inculcated via our Inductivist public educational system, with the effect of better recruitment in the preservation of status quo by the eager and ubiquitous Fifth Columns of the Reactionaries even within ostensibly or nominally open and democratic society, wherein more straightforward and pervasive blatantly dictatorial brutality will be unacceptable but tactics of, for all intents and purposes, injurious participatory mass brainwash are normal, even banal.

Because in all things, the substance beyond mere form, the dynamic and flexible social engineering principles, personal autonomy, good sportsmanship and responsible values of rational democratic progress are systematic doubt, hope in the honest embrace of fallibility and tolerance for uncertainty, substantive discourse, debate of disputes, criticism without punishment and no insult taken, free inquiry into problems openly and publicly without fear of punishment, indeed, open unfounded speculation about different case scenarios pursuant to any number of varied and different proposed measures, without need of conforming or in any way limiting said speculations to any accepted quasi-official position.

The very values and aptitudes ever fostered in brainstorming!

And all pursuant to experiment, trial and error, the vital opportunity for all manner of ongoing reevaluation and revision, open ended correction of mistakes and improvement at all levels, piecemeal, without bloodshed, violence or even strife as such, in any culture of respect.

Civilized adversarial systems and healthy attitudes, formal or informal, that are the bulwark of our precious freedoms, are predicated upon systematic doubt. But the antiseptic and dehumanizing demands pressed by blind loyalty and faith of conformity and compliance, crushing, silencing, excluding or marginalizing all oppositional protest as a matter of course, either preclude entirely or eviscerate and enfeeble, all doubt and curiosity at all, whatsoever.

As appetite or disposition, beyond the debased pandering fantasy and voyeurism of prurient gossip, real curiosity promotes meaningful connection, not only exploration and learning, but empathy, care, concern, compassion, much as, beyond bitter insularity, sheer credulity promotes not only Criticality but justice and fairness, all of which are excluded by utter indifference, plain cowardice and approval seeking conformism. Autonomy, responsible risk management, creativity, curiosity about reality and individuals easily comes into conflict on every level, with adaptation, risk phobic attentiveness to social cues upon which so much depends, that must so often guard itself from curiosity, compassion and conscience, instead promoting bigoted prejudgment, irresponsibility and malice by rendering impunity for jealous rage.

Bullying must be predicated, one way or another, if not upon captivity or restriction in one sense or another, then manipulation, somehow getting sucked in against better judgment, indeed, as individuals, in life, are routinely drawn into freedom inhibiting interaction patterns, interpersonally and with the larger social environment and institutions. And whatever theoretically wider freedom of choice offered will tend to be actually encumbered (both by bureaucracy outright and simple lack of facilitation or logistical support) with user unfriendly bewildering and unmanageable complexity as to render it practically speaking, unavailable to most people, all but the most socially capable and steady nerved, regardless of real talent and ability.

Otherwise, who would choose to endure bullying abuse? And the damage should never be underestimated or taken for granted. And yet what is omitted from 'Complex PTSD A National Center for PTSD Fact Sheet' is even mention of the harm resulting even from constant low level stress, let alone anything any more harrowing including ambient or stealth abuse, never mind only the very worst life and death ordeals. And so it should come as little surprise that the conditions of captivity listed in 'Complex PTSD A National Center for PTSD Fact Sheet' are woefully incomplete:

To begin with, at whatever whim of fate, we are each and all disgorged helpless into a condition of captivity by dependency, the family, better or worse, invariably dysfunctional to some degree, a misfortune only to be summarily compounded by yet more demeaning conditions of captivity and unremitting constant low level stress, particularly in education and employment.

Or, as so excellently well expressed in those immortal driving staccato lyrics of

The Godfathers:

    "Birth, School, Work, Death"

Hence, another description of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder might be life itself, the human condition as we know it. Because, in nature, more often than not, happiness is but an empty and unlikely hope existing only to perpetuate struggle. In the alternative, whatever idealistic notions of happiness and dignity are unnatural, either democratic and historically recent, belonging to the technologically Industrialized World, or else embodying whatever untenable nostalgia for mythic innocence.

Maslow's famous "Pyramid" Hierarchy of Needs begins with sheer biological life support plus amenities. Alienation and helplessness already begin to undermine safety and security concerns that not only project all such immediate practical concerns into the uncertain future, but also encompass the reassurance of defense, care and nurture. But alienation is even more obstructive to social needs along with those of self esteem and self actualization.

The two possible active means to security, or else actual threat thereto, are either the self or others, society, which brings us to the social needs. The social needs are connection, love, sex and respect, or failing that, their manipulative counterfeit of conditionality and helpless exploitation. Against which self esteem, as we have seen, also a function of the same drive for security, is fulfillable only by empowerment, control over one's environment, and, the more so, self-actualization is also empowerment, peak experience of fulfillment by true vocation, towards realization of full potential, investigation, knowing and understanding, creativity, motivated goals ever put forth and causes. Hence, in actuality, true love and respect must empower, if not the lofty pinnacle of self realization, then at least functional autonomy. Indeed, all self realizing true vocation, investigation, creativity, motivated goals ever put forth and causes, must somewhere and somehow aim at and relate to some manner of utility in the needs of the individual, in other words, clear added value to whatever specific target market(s). Or else they will be abstract beyond correspondence to reality! -Pointless obsession... Thus, social needs cannot neatly be met first, only then whetting some hither to dormant loftier apatite for self realization. For, clearly, alienation worms deeper than that.

Hence, depending upon variable tolerance for sheer petty conditionality as a price for security at all, many simply yearn and strive to fit in one way or another, while others in society who undergo positive maladjustment therefore aspire to the free self-organization and administration of their own affairs from the bottom upward.

For alienation is the condition in which individuals find themselves at cross purposes with, and dominated by, forces and institutions of our own creation, driven by their own Monopolistic agendas, confronting the individual as overbearing, loveless, conditional, bullying, threatening and manipulative alien powers.

The dimensions of alienation include powerlessness, meaninglessness, normlessness (anomie), social isolation, cultural estrangement and self-estrangement.

Many conform as best they may. Many live in all manner of learned helplessness, frustrated denial and fantasy. Others still, only lash out, one way or another. But can there be any better free choice? That is the mission of FoolQuest.com, the struggle with unhappiness, against alienation and for self-actualization or at least freedom and autonomy, on various fronts. The Clique Busters concept, in specific, addresses the obstacles of conditionality and malice, continual and systematic abuse of power that is the very antithesis of self realization. In a nut shell, Clique Busters seeks to contend with bullying.

G Vs E

Gresham’s Law states that banality, the overwhelming volume of that which is either inherently of low quality or else poorly directed drives out that which is unique, of better value, or resources including effort and attention well focused.

In other words, that quantity can and does overwhelm quality. And this already profoundly impacts all evolutionary processes.

It means that fitness is not the same thing as excellence. That evolution of whatever sort need not actually favor excellence. On the contrary, evolution may favor the easiest thing to be rather than the highest quality end product. There will always tend to be more iterations of the easiest thing, idea or person to be, as the most likely outcome. It's just Entropy.

So, if bad money does, indeed, drive out good, and if, likewise, dull repetitive conversation does drown out novelty and value and thus bore silly and drive away potentially better contacts, then what less and how less deleterious can be the impact of maliciously deliberate pettiness upon our lives?

What all this means, sadly, is that we can easily and certainly anticipate Terrorism as a Means of self-actualization, the term here used to denote any savor in life, any sort of excellence in one's own experience thereof, especially by way of any sort of true productivity, and that just such self-actualization will always tend to come under assault one way or another unless adequately defended. The exception to that rule being where the easiest way to have anything good in life is concerned, namely to simply prey upon the vulnerable. After all, have we not all heard of the banality of evil?

1 in 4 child bullies will grow to have a criminal record. Bullying and theft, violence and trickery of every kind, are only ancient and successful strategies in human society no less than in nature, especially toadying to the powerful while beating down and scapegoating the competition, the lowest common denominator appealed to by demagogues. Alas, there is no shortage of natural dedication and man-hours whole heartedly devoted to pettiness and sheer spite in this world. There is never a gap in volunteerism, so long it's for injustice and destruction.

Surely, if the Devil had to pay minimum wage, Hell would go bankrupt!

The rugged and transcendently self sufficient Ubermench remains a myth. In truth, the inferior tends to dominate the superior. Indeed, as the saying goes, no matter how bad you are, there will be someone who is worse simply because they think they are better.

The challenge in defense of personal individuality in life has always been not only to navigate another path as ever needed for whatever reason, but to find alternative supply chains, connections, alliance and defense. And it is the widespread failure to accomplish this all things being equal, let alone in the face of cliquish bullying, harassment and isolation, that perpetuates the crisis. Because, evidently, not everyone who ever feels alienated or finds themselves excluded, for whatever reason or under any circumstances, can rise all that well to such a challenge. Especially if one finds oneself actually hounded, one way or another.

Also, there may be any number of other separate problems and complications unaddressed to obstruct even whatever seems so practical and straightforward adaptation to others. Because life and people are like that. Indeed, any adaptation of an individual may seem, metaphorically speaking, like cutting the foot to fit the shoe, whereas, of course, it is the proverbial shoe that needs to fit for the comfort of the wearer.

What, then, is the alternative? Building cultures of respect, inclusive societies, on the basis of the highest principles and most functional empathy and attachment has never quite been accomplished.

And yet, so often, the approach to self help in social integration, even in the face of the most flagrant bullying, assumes that the key, so to speak, is already there to be found and turned. But, quite often, such helpful encouragement towards social adaptation fails for any number of reasons. And this suggests that such an approach might not be adequate in all cases, for any number of reasons, none the least being because there might not be any "key" lying around, as it where. Bullies do not need to be so reasonable, let alone kindly and accepting.

• Dealing With Manipulative People - ambient or stealth abuse

   

As Clausewitz warns us, "The aggressor is always peace-loving; he would prefer to [bully] unopposed."  They are the enemy, after all! And, as grand as it may be to befriend one's enemy, one's enemy will only be befriended should they choose to be. In the meantime, the enemy is no friend, and it is grave folly to behave otherwise and to surrender all initiative. Indeed, Sun Tzu observes that if the enemy seeks peace or opens negotiations unexpectedly, they are actually scheming, and that apology and humility likely just a delaying ploy playing for time and respite to regroup.

You can shoot the tiger, or stay out of his way, but you cannot pronounce him a vegetarian.
- Richard Mitchell

And so, the need for better strategy must be addressed. Including alternative supply chains, connections, alliance and mutual defense by which to intimidate bullies more reliably. Social Darwinism is unacceptable. But that's no excuse not to rise to the challenge thereof. Therefore, let us begin by confronting the Hobbesian ugly truth: 

The niches of all opportunistic bullies, predators and parasites tend to be stable and lie along their path of least resistance. Such niches are provided by opportunity, the prey or host or target of bullying, purposefully or by chance, locating anyone who is vulnerable. Moreover, threat and manipulation tend to eventually render one or another distraught and vulnerable target's responses even the more amenable to predation, exploitation and parasitism.

Bullies are domineering, vengeful, Sadistic, and solve whatever their problems by overt violence and intimidation or other more covert destructive tactics. Bullies achieve recognition and respect, of a fashion, even if actually disliked and resented, through aggression, and naturally proliferate where dominance is tolerated if not valued and power struggle is the accepted way of things.

It is all too often observed that the successful make the rules to their own advantage and to keep the rest of us playing their looser game as their pawns and fools. Where naked mayhem and brutality can no longer stand, not mere coercion alone, but deception and misleading manipulation of others broadly, has become central to the organization of modern society, not only in politics but also in the economic relationships served.

Bullying is often classified as either strategic, a coercive means towards any self serving benefit or goal put forth, or else otherwise driven or motivated by character, whether by initiative or in response to whatever situation, opportunity or conflict as may ever arise. The principle types of bullying are the violence and intimidation of Physical Bullies, most obviously, but also varying degrees of mimesis, while Verbal Bullies employ threats and abuse, the Relational Bully continually instigating to undermine and isolate the target of bullying socially, and no less deceptive or devious, the passive or covert aggressor, a coworker, collaborator or recruiter of any sort who sabotages, deceives or exploits the target of bullying by simple non cooperation, and Reactive Victims, ever manifesting the most blatant projection and constantly triggered by slights -real, exaggerated or entirely imagined. But, of course, rationalizations of grudge collecting are hardly uncommon in bullies unless, as often, they are just gloating Sadists outright, who tend to prefer scapegoating and victim blaming of whatever vulnerability of the target of bullying, singling out of the most trivial of difference and scapegoating rationalizations of invented threat to society and especially feminine "virtue" and other such typical taboos, also typical to the folly and sanctimonious abuse of power characteristic of the politician bully. Indeed, even while gaining impunity as bullies, mania and undue volatility even to the point of self-indulgence aside, or even simple over stress, as actual targets of deliberate bullying themselves, Reactive Victims may be resented the more for fighting back at all. Hence, fairness is not merely abrogated, but actually reversed!

Also see: The 4 most-common workplace bullies and bully bosses  

Guide to bully types and tactics

Are Bullies Sabotaging Your Ability to Compete?

Whistle Blowing  - the psycho-dynamics of conflict
When friendship is not good for your mental health

 Put the whistle blowers in charge!

All to often, without the overwhelming deterrence of adequate connections, support and alliances, the only and costly apparent last resort to effectively deter persistent bullies at all may be to unambiguously sink to their level and win or even to loose a fight, but doing enough damage in the process none the less to make the bullies think twice in future. That is to say, depending on the cowardice of the bullies, and unless the social environment has become unremittingly violent or otherwise dangerous beyond caring, in which case, even successful self defense earns little respite. And if not actually by hand to hand brawling then by whatever due process or legal recourse, if available. Or else by any decisive initiative, which is to say, any threat or obstruction to livelihood or other vital interaction, overt or covert. But not in case of any hesitation, delay, trepidation or compunction, on the part of the target of bullying.

And not if one can't get away with it. Not if the bullies are sneaky and actually hope to provoke whatever retaliation or angry reaction, in order to get the target of bullying into all the more trouble. Not while intelligence gathering against bullies is at all neglected and/or in any way hampered, and the only access to the bullies at all by the target of bullying is in any context of restraint of civility abused and manipulated by the bullies while actually only constraining without much protecting, the target of bullying. For, as Sun Tzu said: Know the enemy and know thyself.

And once a potential target of bullying exhibits social constraint or responsibility, never mind intimidation outright, the bully quickly realizes that, particularly in sheer bullying mimesis, he or she can safely maneuver the situation to the very brink of disgrace. The reticence of the target of bullying may arise from out of whatever reluctance, shock, paralysis, inability, situational deadlock, typical of "let's you be reasonable" headgames or conditioning, even remedial socialization and expectations, formal or informal. Counting on the integrity of the victim's constraints to keep them both from tumbling over, the bully stands on the crumbling edges of socially acceptable behavior, agitating and pressing the target of bullying either to misstep and cross the line or else to effectively submit to ongoing and mounting abuse and distress because the target of bullying will often be in jeopardy, one way or another, should they give way to being baited.

But, otherwise, submission only reinforces the behavior of an unpunished bully. The target of bullying exhibits an anxious vulnerability. The situation of mimesis is engineered wherein the target of bullying is set up as an easy target for later ongoing victimization and  scapegoating. The target of bullying suffers severe painful traumatic stress, fear and loss of control, that must eventually impair performance and achievement, a detriment and danger all to often underestimated in ongoing denial. Indeed, with the rise of youth violence, so too has the suicide rate increased.

Worse, any perceived failure of the target of bullying to stick up for themselves tends to make others highly uncomfortable, thus the target of bullying will not be well liked, exacerbating social isolation. And it will be often true, as is often said, that the one shunned, indeed, has an attitude problem or just whatever indistinct bad vibe. After all, who wouldn't? Because bullying and shunning rapidly bring on the onset of depression, to paranoia if not actual hypervigilance, bitterness, misanthropy and other such acute mental conditions of distress. Obviously, people tend to keep their distance from such a one for fear that what they have might be contagious (which, indeed, it more often is), or for the sheer repulsiveness of their company, or for the rational fear of being associated with them.

And, alternatively, the target of bullying will typically only be the more resented as a spoilsport for lashing back in their own defense.

If anything at all can be learned from observation, it is that whatever the price will be extracted for avoiding becoming such a wretch, it will most often be accepted.

Hence, the targets of bullying will be rejected not only by the bully but their peers as well, drastically limiting the pool of potential social or business contacts. In other words, the isolation and ostracism of Relational Bullying is already well under weigh. And without connection and amid the anonymity of the masses, dangerous bystander apathy is vastly exacerbated and assertive honesty so badly undermined by social loafing.

Generally, social, residential, familial, scholastic, professional needs, prior investment or circumstances compel the target of bullying into dealing with the bully at all, one way or another. Otherwise, given any better free choice, the target of bullying might very well simply prefer to disengage and just put all unpleasantness out of mind. More over, world view, composure, presence of mind under fire, and social skill level and available resources might not provide the target of bullying viable alternatives beyond either submission or steady escalation of ongoing conflict on every level.

Bullying, like evil generally, is simple that way. And most advantageous to the evil doer. Hence, evil succeeds and propagates. Because collaboration among evil doers likewise comes naturally, along the path of least resistance, so long as evil people generally covet what they can get or keep from those whom they victimize but fear one another at all.

And that is why collaboration in bullying, among other evils, must be continually disrupted at every level of any open society or culture of respect. Clique Busters is conceived to attempt the ongoing disruption of bullying in ordinary day to day life, where the need has always been great and sorely neglected, and even to egg on the bullies to misstep, once and for all, and to reap the embarrassment that they have sown. Clique Busters pretty much follows the definition and characterization as laid out in the in the Bully/Victim Problems document, but goes beyond the prescribed solution, in seeking to institutionalize change societally, even if reform will not come from the top down as is often generally assumed.

Hence, Clique Busters proposes independent investigation, intervention, consciousness raising and even covert counter-conspiracy.

But any benevolence, by contrast with exploitation, quickly runs into Entropy. Benevolence of any kind expends personal resources (even just time and compassion) and stalls upon their depletion. And benevolence also depends upon the receptivity and cooperation of the intended beneficiary.

At worst, benevolence opens the benefactor's own vulnerability to predators and parasites. But even short thereof, the intended beneficiary may prove to one degree or another unresponsive for any number of reasons:

First of all, that the most needy and vulnerable are somehow so easy to find by exploitative bullies, but so hard to find and then to connect with for help, intervention or even sympathy. And that even then, benevolence may be in any degree misguided or inadequate, in any degree missing or falling short of the actual or self-perceived needs of the intended beneficiary. But also because the more that bullying threat and manipulation have rendered a vulnerable target's responses amenable to predation, exploitation and parasitism, the less amenable and competent their responses are to opportunity and help because ongoing threat and abuse may tend to erode one's instincts and intuition. And, all to often, opportunity will be fleeting while tribulation will remain incessant.

Likewise, helping oneself to begin with, may often entail effort and discomfort, especially taxing to anyone already distraught from bullying/predation/ exploitation/ parasitism. And this may still apply no less even given however valuable the offer of whatever outside advice, assistance or resources.

Additionally, benevolence may easily face all manner of relentless direct third party sabotage, at little cost or risk to the saboteur, no matter whatever their vested interest or motivation in mimesis or just completely acting out may be.

Not to mention, in the worst case, should the intended beneficiary turn out to be, in actuality, one sort of deceptively parasitic bully or another with whatever ulterior agenda or dysfunction.

In summation, for optimal success, benevolence requires adequate resources, best receptivity and adaptability to the needs of the beneficiary and capable amenable response on the part of the intended beneficiary.

And all of that inevitably tends to become exceedingly daunting and complicated. All in all, it's easy to understand Nietzsche's dread of responsibility and Altruism. Of getting dragged in and sucked down with the drowning more often than saving them successfully. And this may apply to whatever familial and other responsibilities, without assuming additional burdens of charity or civic mindedness.

No wonder, then, how Nietzsche deplores the entanglements of Altruism.

However, reciprocity, reciprocal benevolence, mutual support of one kind or another, may improve sustainability over one sided benevolence. But attempts to build reciprocity may only tend to be even more complicated and vulnerable. So much so, that one may even be better off to do good works without expectation and the vulnerability of over extending oneself.

Give and take relations and functional social networks providing any sense of security in life do exist, of course. But that does not mean that everyone finds them or gains access, easily or at all. And those who are so blessed may often either take it all far too much for granted or fear losing it too much to ever stick out their necks. And so, all the time, many good people are slipping through the cracks, in one sense or in one way or another.

And this brings us to the difficulty of connecting and organizing and, consequently, the hopes invested in the very prospect of future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry.

The Ugly Truth of standing alone

For an extreme and lethally violent example of how bullying stays prevalent, one need only consider how, as a matter of craven vested interest, opportunism, power and ambition, terrorists routinely murder not only the so called "moderates" within their own ranks and amide their affiliations, but also peaceful activists and protestors among their own constituents as "traitors" and sabotage perfectly competent peaceful demonstrations in order to turn them violent so that the terrorists can continue to hypocritically declare diplomacy a hopelessly lost cause leaving terror as last resort of the underdog!

All such tactics insure that destructive behavior gets more attention than constructive behavior, while victimized dissidents may despair of even being noticed to be helped. In the end, oppressive and hypocritical government officials often may far prefer to negotiate with criminal terrorists, the former demonized enemy magically turning statesmen and even nation builder, than to acknowledge, answer to and work with the struggling and oppressed or their Intellectuals.

And no one cares.

Indeed, every rabid running dog, every vicious foreign policy tool that ever seemingly bit the hand the feeds them, may eventually come round again in due course, and make themselves useful again, one way or another.

Cynical governments and political hacks by far prefer to embrace terrorists as statesmen and nation builders if it helps them to ignore and keep obscure legitimate peaceful pro-democratic activists and intellectuals who might actually improve conditions for the people. Bullies on the world stage may like to put on a great and deadly show of factional conflict, but it's all just a propaganda squeeze play, higher stakes mimesis, with ambient or stealth abuse. a cult con game to press the people into choosing up sides, however interchangeable, to make cannon fodder and exploit emotionally unbalanced suicidal would be martyrs.

Indeed, Che Guevara well understood the symbiosis behind oppositional violence, openly declaring in his writings that the whole point of appalling acts of terrorism is, by that very threat and alarm, to enable the Fascists ever waiting in the wings to drive the government into heavy handedness, so as, in turn, and as the intended and desired end result, to radicalize the populace to be recruited into the Revolution. And, indeed, conversely, even fairly recent history teaches us that if terrorists do not exist, government conspirators will incubate them. Terrorism, then, may even be regarded as nothing more that a sort of violent sham opposition.

Moreover, by contrast, the truly progressive are conveniently easy to ignore in all the confusion. Once again, nice guys finish last!

Indeed, in many a context constructive behavior is often sabotaged and undermined, one way or another. Anti-competitive bullying is an unfair competitive advantage robbing the world of better alternatives.

Certainly bullies in the workplace, for a more common place and somewhat less lethal example, help to suppress superior innovation. Indeed, a common form of passive/aggressive covert/hostile bullying in the workplace or whatever context of collaborative effort, is simply stonewalling urgent memos, regardless of the cost or damage to the bottom line or whatever other motivated goals ever put forth in common. The classic toxic manager is well known for sabotaging the contribution of coworker targets of bullying and then to belittle their efforts. And even in grade school abusiveness is better rewarded with attention than any constructive accomplishment let alone the effort in the attempt or groundwork in the mean time.

"Writing comes more easily if you have something to say." to quote Sholem Asch.

While this may come as a good warning against triviality, it also happens that one can be stymied in addressing very important problems. And in such case, one must hope that one will be afforded at least the luxury of admitting it. Because that, at least, gives the writer something to say.

One just such daunting problem is that of bullying.

To address grievances including bullying there is the administration at school and internal procedure and policy at work plus Labor Union grievance process, all often more a part of the problem (and a protracted ordeal further breaking down the target of bullying and abuse) than any redress, only postponing and even subverting the final uncertain and costly ordeal of legal recourse. But the standard crocodile tears, facile helpless heartless "Arafat speak" and official victim blaming of scapegoats are all well documented at so many other anti-bullying websites, studies and literature. Suffice to add that attrition and manipulation into unilateral Soft Bargaining is known in Transactional Analysis as the "let's you be reasonable" Ulterior Transaction or headgame.

And aside from societally provided means of redress, there are only whatever personal resources and contacts of the individual, adequate to help intimidate bullies from targeting them. Or else not!

After all, bullies tend to prey upon the more vulnerable and isolated. Indeed, the aim of exclusion by Relational Bullying is to sabotage the all important social connectivity of the target.

In short, the reason that there cannot be a better resource guide for the bullied, against harassment and social isolation, is that there are more often than not, no resources to speak of!

That is why it is always far easier to seek to reach out and educate the pedagogs and officials, who have any where withal to fight such injustice as it arises and also to help "bully-proof" the societies in which they work in the first place, than to advise the actual targets of bullying.

For example, there is the Playground Pass System.

More over, bullying in society at large, rather than just in such institutions of school and work, is the most under addressed, except for the special case of the persecution of minorities. Although, at least the plight of those harassed by a hostile neighbor is finally beginning to come to light.

In society, institutions are established to deal with various social problems. Institutions that adapt and evolve. Clique Busters, as proposed, is conceived as a different kind of institution, a counter-conspiracy rather than just an interest group or adjunct to authority.

The reasons for this are two fold:
First of all, because when it comes to bullying, the pertinent authorities are so often a major part of the problem in such formal context as school or employment, let alone world affairs. Or else, because there is often no particular authority to turn to in many informal social contexts when bullying arises. And so, if civility is absent, what then?

The perils of individuality

Let us face ourselves bravely as we are. For only a philosophy that recognizes reality can lead us into true happiness, and only that kind of philosophy is sound and healthy.
- Lin Yutang

Aside from the ubiquitous problems of social loafing, bystander apathy, Anti-Critical Bias, cowardice lacking assertive honesty, function in the social network is simply inadequate to the needs of many people even in the lulls much less in their times of tribulation and struggle or the aftermath, and tends to be unresponsive simply from sheer inefficiency. The more so after social connectivity is damaged and subverted by Relational Bullying. As long as opportunity is tenuous to begin with, bullies can render the difficult impossible.

More over, it becomes clear that first socially isolating the target makes it far easier to lie convincingly, thus drastically increasing vulnerability to criminal exploitation, particularly fraud as well as violence and extortion.

Indeed, by contrast, the most destructive people, of course, often seem to be so very well connected, all the time! Whether they are mean spirited socially prominent student cliques, spousal abusers, petty thugs, crooked cops or corporate lobbyists and public officials.

Often, the targets of bullying are simply admonished to toughen up! Of course, that only means adaptation, one way or another, to the status quo. Rather, what is needed is to play hard ball and achieve real progress. To force the bullies to be tougher on themselves, and the less self indulgent with their hostile impulses and self serving abuse.

I respectfully submit that, victim blaming and scapegoating aside, good people often do very much need to take responsibility for our failure to seek some way to find and implement an adequate societal mode of connectivity, with it's own memetic propagation and it's own defenses, so as to become effective and competitive with the ancient and obscene advantages of dominance and predation. Because as things stand the current situation leaves all such advanced acquired traits as the enlightened and progressive so cherish, at a significant short term social Evolutionary disadvantage. And this is detrimental to all rational Humanist democratic social progress.

And so, the apologists for the bullies may even be correct in their excuses that it is the responsibility of the oppressed, exploited and forgotten to adapt. The question is whether those very traits which that we value can be adaptive to the threat they so often confront, rather than only a handicap of dissidence and principle that the cowardly intolerant conformists simply advocate be sacrificed for the sake of fitting in with status quo so that bullies, enablers and submissive victims can all effectively be recruited continually, there by.  

In other words, we want to be free, individual and good, but at all autonomous, without being helpless and vulnerable and of no use to ourselves or anyone else. In short, to bring under control the sacrifice of being true to oneself. To establish a more secure position. 

One aspect of predation, exploitation, dominance and bullying, is that they are proactive, responsive and benefit from connectivity and collusion. And that they subsume the society which they infest and propagate while marginalizing the competing opposition. 

Not only do predation and dominance propagate among the predators and oppressors, but oppression also propagates among the oppressed. 

Turning the tables?

Indeed, much as not only predation and dominance propagate among the predators and oppressors, with oppression also propagating among the oppressed, likewise democracy, reason and tolerance must also propagate. Nothing can be taken for granted and fair play must be zealously enforced by moral suasion at all times. Alas, all too often, such will be an uphill struggle. Whatever can improve transmission of democracy, reason and tolerance would be as proactive, responsive, cooperative and enhance connectivity in some coherent manner, much as are predation, exploitation, dominance and bullying themselves, but without predation, exploitation, dominance and bullying, because, of course, that would be entirely purpose defeating. 

nevertheless, this hypothetical Memplex must be equipped with it's own defense, not only in the individual mind, but also within societal interaction. And so, it must also help to marginalize predation, exploitation, dominance and bullying, selectively non destructively enough not become or conform to the very predation, exploitation, dominance and bullying it seeks to oppose. 

And this protective propensity in functional society has a name. It is called, civility. And civility is very nice when one can find it! Far to rarely, alas. 

Nietzsche tended to view Altruism, morality, sympathy and responsibility, as an albatross, holding back the individual from self realization of freedom and autonomy. And there is no denying the personal sacrifice inherent in living by any moral principles at all.

But it is through the workings of democratic values in society that moral constraint and compassion may actually aid and abet self realization.

The only question is as to the feasibility of such a thing and the opportunity to overthrow the Post Modern Cynicism which Nietzsche foresaw and where in 'justice' signifies no more than the self serving interest of the stronger, exactly as the Sophist Thrasymachus asserts to Socrates in Plato's Dialogues. 

Crypto-Totalitarianism and the crippling obsession with socialization

Indeed, to this day, victim blaming often seizes upon the old pretext that the targets of bullying are socially inept and deficient. Indeed, let us no longer deny the truth of the bullies' superior social skills. For by definition, who can deny the abilities of an enduring predator or parasite? Indeed, the stereotypical oafish lone physical bully is the exception.

By all means then, let us address the acquisition and improvement of social skills. Indeed, the abused frequently learn from their abusers, even to become abusers themselves, so, again, there's no use denying it. Or else, the abused, miserable, only learn helplessness and to keep their place. Or others become people pleasers and social climbers and to better fit in, or simply learn to conform and escape notice. But by no means is sheer heteronomy exhaustive. For others even do learn how to stand up for themselves and ever fight back. As if that where always easy or cut and dry! Or always enough.

Some, most fortunately of all, learn to network, socially, in order to gain crucial connections, alliances, even friendship that they may reciprocally rely upon for safety. Undeniably, such do acquire and master adequately proficient social skills.

But alas, not all of us, and under any different circumstances and situations, for any number of reasons, rise to these daunting challenges. And that is how the target of bullying will be different in their traits, and also vulnerable to harassment and to ubiquitous intolerable conniving active sabotage which is called Relational Bullying, isolation, ostracism, syndromes of shunning and "mobbing," even ambient or stealth abuse.

And so, the victim blaming seizing upon the old pretext that the targets of bullying are socially inept and deficient, is not entirely or literally untrue, just amoral and lacking in decent values. Instead, the hypocrisy, the unstated values assumed are the dire obligation of every individual to enthusiastically validate and uphold status quo uncritically, hence conformist pressures to adapt, impunity, veritable vigilante socialization to crush all misfits and dissidents and render the masses attachment disordered but socially skilled, sacrificing deeper and genuine robust and healthy autonomous social development essential to freedom in favor of conformist and heteronymous socialization, in an ongoing program inculcated via our Inductivist public educational system, in which bullies and thugs then actually lead the way as pillars of a criminal community standing in for the open Totalitarianism that would never be tolerated anymore.

Barriers to adequate social survival skills and strategies are varied, may indeed include all manner of personal troubles, foibles, character flaws and failings, but no less often circumstantial or situational problems of practical insurmountably, also profound dramatic conflict with real values. Hence the frequent sheer and tragic irrelevancy of pressures to adapt, impunity, veritable vigilante socialization prevalent and so unjustly legitimized by victim blaming against the targets of bullying, with the effect of better recruitment in the preservation of status quo by the eager and ubiquitous Fifth Columns of the Reactionaries even within ostensibly or nominally open and democratic society, wherein more straightforward and pervasive blatantly dictatorial brutality will be unacceptable but tactics of, for all intents and purposes, injurious participatory mass brainwash are normal, even banal.

And so, if however prevailing social expectations are rejected as inadequate and illegitimate, oppressive, unjust, what options then remain? The answer is, change, even revolution. And so, unless one is entirely satisfied with the petty pace of progress, then the questions remain, what can be done to help, and yes, what can be done differently and better for and, yes, by the targets of bullying?

No, indeed, the pursuit of happiness need never be construed as any guarantee of success nor any right nor effete entitlement thereto. Yet remain open any range of questions of responsibility and the limitations thereof. Because, supposing, as some hold true, that we are each and all entirely responsible for everything in our lives that happens to us, then we are also obligated to consider any measures of possible effective response. Or else, if we are not responsible for every our own fortune or misfortune, then why ought we simply to bear the latter stoically?

Otherwise, any positive right, such as the right to walk out at night in safety, remains entirely corollary to a clear negative right, such as the right not to get mugged. Likewise, even the broadest pursuit of happiness will be contingent upon the maintenance of the proverbial level playing field, in specific, protection from the self serving unfair advantage of physical and emotional abuse or the social injury of malicious disenfranchisement.

Hence, when all else clearly, chronically and systemically fails, the audacious, unapologetic and ongoing primary aim of Clique Busters must be to defuse, undermine and disrupt bullying of any kind, even covertly and by the non violence of moral suasion coupled with low guile.

Clique Busters is a somewhat Machiavellian Realistic conspiracy proposal for active outreach towards the covert engineering of Civility by Guerrilla Transactional Analysis re-scripting bullying mimesis. 

Finding social context 

The integrity of independence comes at great sacrifice for the sake for anti-bullying initiatives as much as for any other kind of undertaking. By contrast, more profitable or Public Relations anti-bullying initiatives seek to work within the system and to cooperate with whatever authorities, such as employers or school administrators, either to be more respectable, or just to find a billable patron.

But the more serious anti-bullying initiatives also strive to remedy the ways in which the authorities can be a part of the problem. Indeed, the authorities may even be the worst of the bullies! Or, there are less formal social contexts with less clear authority or accountability. In that case, there may be no recourse except for targets of bullying everywhere to band together. And as to response, both awareness campaigns and even covert action may be indicated. Such will be the role of Clique Busters as a most militant last line of defense against bullying.

Clique Busters is nothing other than how decent individuals in a truly civil society would respond to bullying. 

To befriend the targets of harassment who need allies and also the targets of Relational Bullies who are being isolated, to organize response and openly scold, mock, heckle, thwart, kill-joy, and frustrate the bullies responsible and/or to covertly misdirect the bullies, and talk about what is going and what can and should be done about it with others at large to raise outrage.

Indeed, the spell of social loafing and bystander apathy can actually be broken by the example and assertive honesty of even a single Good Samaritan, subverting the depraved mimesis of the bullies, and no less dramatically. -Which is actually important so that intervention is not simply by resented, in their dispirited amoral idle boredom, by the bystander audience as anticlimactic spoilsport and killjoy, but instead actually received and appreciated as a stirring appeal to participation in the uplifting renewal of civility reaffirmed.

Also to communicate, strategize and prepare to foil bullies, whenever malicious gossip reveals behind itself, mean spirited conspiracy.

Indeed, because the forces of good are so thinly spread, the Clique Busters must actually go out looking for the opportunity, no less than do the bullies themselves. Clique Busters will be proactive, answering calls for help, and even reaching out to those in need unasked.

And such intervention constitutes vigilantism only as do all random or not so random acts of kindness. -Vigilantism merely in mimesis.

The low guile of Clique Busters, intelligence gathering, clique infiltration, and generally out foxing bullies, is necessary for taking the initiative back from the bullies, and turning their strengths to weaknesses. Both so crucial to victory, as Sun Tzu emphasizes. Just as bullies target their victims, the Clique Busters must defend known targets of bullying and  scapegoats, and resist known bullies.

Another priority of Clique Busters, as with every good idea, must be to preserve the integrity of Clique Busters itself. Clique Busters is empowerment, but power must not be allowed to corrupt. Especially should the sort of bullies who pretend benevolence and even believe it themselves are ever attracted to join the Clique Busters! Therefore part of the mandate of Clique Busters must be the creation of protocols for maintenance of bully and bulling resistant social psychological health internal to Clique Busters, and adequate membership screening.

Possible options include sustaining Clique Busters as a Transactional Analysis social environment internally, and on the horizon the hopes of future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry.

In an untrustworthy society, everyone must tow the line in order to make connections and gain defensive allies in order to inspire fear in potential enemies. No one wants to be isolated and singled out. But genuine freedom of association requires that no one needs to be liked by everyone or feared by anyone. For this, Civility must be extend to all. Alas, this is all to rare. 

The Youth Culture Awareness Main Page cites School Bully Report 4/00 : 

A recent report issued by Duke University psychologists revealed that bullies are among the most popular boys in school from the fourth through sixth grade. The researchers surveyed teachers and male students in 59 classrooms from rural, suburban and inner-city schools in Chicago and North Carolina..  They explored the effect of bullying of classmates, which is often undetected or unpunished by school staff, on victims and innocent bystanders.  Duke University psychologist Philip Rodkin, lead author of the study that was published in the January issue of Developmental Psychology and other psychologists worry that popular bullies may be less likely to change their behavior than unpopular bullies because it works so well for them.  "These boys may internalize the idea that aggression, popularity and control naturally go together, and they may not hesitate to use physical aggression as a social strategy because it has always worked," Rodkin said. "But there will come a point in these boys' lives when this turns from an adaptive and fun to a lonely and potentially dangerous characteristic."  Parents may also unwittingly contribute to the problem by accepting or even encouraging aggressive behavior as long as their children are popular, Fisher said. 

But, clearly, the break down of the adaptation Rodkin is counting upon does not always so reliably come to pass. Because the time tested tactics and patterns of the serial bully remain viable, unchecked and even highly successful in all manner of adult social context, none the least of which are the work place and even, most alarmingly, world affairs. 

Schoolyard bullies, after all, face a far greater statistical probability of growing up to become common criminals. Unless, of course, they are slick enough for Politics.

"Explain cliques and their mean maneuvers to your child as in terms of power and control, not friendship." Yes, indeed, and, or else, children, do explain it to your obtuse parents! "It is amazing just how diabolical these clique divas can be." Girls use a different kind of weapon. Parenting solutions for girlish hostility.

voices From The Hellmouth from the Geek-Profiling dept.  

More from the Hellmouth: Kids tell about rage.

hellmouth.org

   Screams from Society "The Student As Nigger" The Columbine Massacre  Geeks R Us

The Case Against Schools Alienation In The Life Of Students WHY NERDS ARE UNPOPULAR

Bullying Online and Offline 

I myself have found flamers and character assassins Online as Offline so irksome, tiresome and repetitive that, in order to save time I have finally simply compiled a stock answers to their distortions and accusations, into The Completely Inane and tiresome Ad Hominem FAQ for FoolQuest.com 

But I am not the only one who can attest the matter is frequently far more serious and dangerous than that.

The formerly distant and impersonal Internet may be encroaching and closing in, faster than we think. "Perpetrators of social ills like bullying or stalking tend to use whatever media are available." Now, even text messaging on mobile phones. And here is a  parody (I hope!) warning of the abuse of Online resources in the perpetuation of sinister cause.

After all, there are already thriving communities of spite, not just cutting edge Web-tech in the dark service of ubiquitous Neo Nazis and various and sundry other legions of angry kooks, but forums of revenge, cyber-vandalism and, of course, flaming.

Already for decades now on the Internet, flamers, short for for flaming assholes, have engaged in flaming, which is short for enflaming others with rage, that may consist of harassment, baiting, cyberstalking, disruption of forums, character defamation, malicious evil gossip, cyber-libel, slander against reputation, Relational Bullying, like manipulative strangers with candy, the trollish exploitation of confidence, harassment and sheer ventilation of Sadism, internationally ubiquitous or closer to home. But take the survey.

Prevailing guidelines for flaming, such as they are, scarcely constitute any embodiment of Critical Thinking, as flaming seeks to obstruct and subvert rational discourse of any kind. The mentality of flaming is iniquitous, in that being anti-critical, flaming does not seek to state, define or redress grievance or injustice reasonably or even press cogent criticism. Rather, the stated methodology of flamers is the highly subjective and flexible identification of unworthy classes of individuals, inferior beings, intrinsically deserving of abuse and provocation.

Or the evaluation of the quality and worth of expression of others according to the flamer's highly subjective and self-indulgent criteria, in order to rationalize lashing out at will, according to the morally bankrupt historically Fascist ideology of true honesty achieved only by the abandonment of all Civility and decency. But, far from unflinching honesty, flaming is predicated upon aggravation via unrelenting topic irrelevancy, the determined intent of drowning out signal with noise making heat without light and tends to be rationalized by victim blaming, scapegoating and defamation, one way or another. To deny injustice and gloat about it, all in the same breath. Flaming, in short, is the Online application of standard historically Nazi anarchic diversionary tactics, Sadistic persecution and self serving rationalizations thereof. 

But flamers can be of any particular political alignment or none at all. Indeed, the logic of flamers, such as it is, may begin from their pointless taunting of such tempting targets as obnoxious flaming Neo Nazis, repressive religious Fundamentalists, charlatans, hustlers and USENET kooks. But then the field rapidly expands to become all encompassing so as to make anyone at all, fair game for flaming, at least in the twisted thinking of the flamers. Only so long as they can get away with it. 

All of this is consistent with Anton Levay's fashionably depraved assertions of vengeance as any sort of a moral compass, that are actually immoral deception, having nothing to do with any simply amoral individual liberation and, indeed, can be nothing but a license to act out, omitting as they do any value of justice or proportion whatsoever. For all such is but the ongoing distortion of Nietzsche that began, historically, with his exploitative Nazi sister! Remember, Nietzsche, after all, despised Altruism and Persecution, equally, as Ecclesiastical vanity, Zen futile worldly attachment, snares and threats to autonomy. But the post-Nazi likes of Anton Levay, not only flamers, specifically, but bullies in general, often actually advance Sadomasochism as self realization, or at least on par with any other Hedonism. 

After all, any success in manipulation of the target of flaming, any response at all, for whatever reason, indeed anything short of somehow or other successfully barring or driving the target of abuse away or driving them into silence one way or another, is considered by flamers to embody consent on the part of their target to further abuse, according to Anton LaVey's puerile and facile Satanist Sophistry and Apologetics for Sadomasochism that bald facedly equates predation and baiting with courtship between informed and desiring individuals.

And by similar repulsive logic, often targets of bullying conditioned into passive resignation by the school authorities are then considered better adjusted, because, otherwise, if they still react, then they are thought to be bringing it upon themselves. But, of course, by contrast with any physical intimidation or attack etc. in Real Life Offline, flamers are quick to point out that Online with flaming, far less is at stake. However, this may be deceptive, as flaming may serve to brand the target for disruptive Relational Bullying, defamation, ostracism and further incitement to and co-validation of all manner of harassment and abuse, Online or Offline. 

nevertheless, no different than bullies in general, there remains the one thing alone that still stops flamers dead in their tracks. And that is Civility, manifest as the moral indignation and disapproval of bystanders (instead of the all to common apathy) against the sheer ugly discourtesy, as bad form and uncool. Or the disapproval may also be effective coming from an authority figure such as a forum Moderator. Indeed, The spell of bystander apathy and social loafing can be broken by the example and assertive honesty of even a single Good Samaritan. But, otherwise, cowardice and apathy of the public or effective secrecy that conceals abuse or, indeed, anything at all less than staunch Civility at all, comes to the flamers, as to any other cliques of bullies, as tacit approval from society, thus enablement and impunity for abusers. Because, being devoid of actual conscience, conformist Sociopaths actually tend to be all the more mortified by miss stepping into simple faux pas. That is their weakness. 

And all that is really needed for the introduction Civility into a culture, is a few plants in the crowd. A way of teaching in the field by demonstration. In turn leading to consensus building for moral suasion. The Clique Busters concept, Online or Offline, is about the covert engineering and orchestration of Civility and even the exposure of bullies and their cliques with intervention and counterpropaganda. 

Guerilla Est tactics and their foreseeable drawbacks

 

As a desperate and quite possibly inadvisable extreme and experimental option against intimidation, harassment, baiting, Relational Bullying, threats and even violence from really intolerable adult bullies perpetuating Junior High School destructive abusiveness and worse into adult life with impunity beyond even the meager authoritative restraint of bygone scholastic administration, speaking of mimesis, perhaps bullies actually need to be admonished like unto unruly juvenile delinquents and rub their metaphorical noses in their own proverbial shit. -Though, indeed, far more harshly than may ever be compassionate or prudently advisable in dealing with real children and puppies:

 

At some point, if need be, just to leave no possible ambiguity whatsoever, most effective might actually include readiness with repeated organized shattering public scolding en mass, from each and everyone that the bully or bullies have run rough shod or abused, consisting of a purging complete emotional venting back to the bullies of all that they have dumped upon others, protracted actual complete Drill Sergeant in-their-face Hitler-style screaming tantrums from men and sobbing breakdowns from women (or, hey! then again, and not to be unduly Sexist, vice versa might prove the more disorienting!), so long as the bullies have any retort or denial left. And should a bully still try to mock or laugh at one of the scolding Clique Buster, another must then take over with fresh vehemence.

 

If all else fails, this may be a way of removing the sense of restraint and social hypocrisy that bullies so smugly exploit, without actually resorting to real violence. A way of bringing the Encounter Group to the Bullies, as it where, if they will not willingly come and consider how they treat others.

 

Theatrical, to say the least, for when all subtlety is wasted. As the old joke goes, why did the miner clobber the mule with a two-by-four? Just to get his attention!

 

Although, not to sink to bullying of bullies, and, indeed, arguably, to be fairer and more cogent than traditional Est (Erhard Seminar Training) therapy, grievances however vehement and repetitive must remain lucid and distinct, and the path to real dialogue, if only to escape the verbal and emotional onslaught, must always remain open. Indeed, beyond doing the targets of bullying a world of satisfaction, the priority of simply getting persistent bullies to back off at all may be deemed adequate succes, never mind reaching or improving them, a sheer bonus if that ever happens.

 

Still, there may likely be many disadvantages to such an extreme approach, that might very easily be made to blow up in the faces of those who try it. After all, considering how often it seems that most people shun hearing the troubles of the abused, the targets of bullying, this kind of shattering exhibition, especially if the more public, may be more than the society will be willing to bear. And bullies are typically very sly and sneaky about getting away with their abuses in a public setting, wherein the target of bullying can be confused and misdirected and must restrain themselves, crushed and seething, much to the Sadistic delight of the bullies. For such is the bully's standard Modus Operandi.

 

And so, in such public setting, this approach had best be timed and undertaken, if at all, only in extreme protest, in some over all plan of Activism and as overture to some sort of actual social uprising within whatever cultural context, not always be feasible, especially regards bullying in isolation rather than in a larger group of any kind.

 

And there are, after all, more subtle but therefore logistically complicated tactics in the alternative. Rhetorically, even the very fantasy of somehow guerilla Esting bullies may serve to help defeated and discouraged targets of bullying to realistically assess the needed level of commitment for stopping bullying, by highlighting the unreasonable absurdity of commonly being expected to reason with persistent bullies, of intimidation into unilateral soft-bargaining, thereby surrendering to said bullies the initiative simply to remain unreasonable.

 

Because guerilla Esting bullies is actually what it might take, if ever at all, to even begin to make any headway with the depraved indifference of bullies in denial and full of their own smug contempt for any weakness of reasonableness and conciliation.

 

Fortunately there are more subtle but, alas, logistically more complicated strategies: 

Is covert action justifiable? Yes, as an adjunct to more open Activism, sometimes when the problem is so bad that lives are destroyed and the victimized left traumatized. Especially when the authorities, or lack (or selective responsiveness) thereof, are part of the problem, then these are by definition conditions of at least relative oppression where an autonomous resistance, underground if need be, may be indicated. Not to rule out officially endorsed Clique Busters, should such opportunity arise. Labor and student organizations may also serve as Strategic Partners or patrons. 

Clique Busters, should also cultivate legitimacy as a public advocacy or watchdog, wielding intimidating moral suasion, not unlike the Humane Society or the Better Business Bureau. 

The Clique Busters may respond to requests for help, or even intervene autonomously. In a closed social context, such as a work place or school, recruitment must be internal. But Clique Busters insertion teams will be able to spring into action in any open social context. And there are many places where security is low, where infiltration may even be possible, at least long enough to network local recruitment.

But, indeed, outside outreach and intervention can be a thorny feasibility challenge depends the particulars and will doubtless vary very much with the particulars of the situation and environs and it's isolation from, or connection to, the rest of the world.

Are outsiders physically barred access? Otherwise, what will it take to just drop by and but in, let alone get away with it? What about cover stories and even simple disguises if need be? These are among the question that must arise for intervention. 

Perhaps at least co-workers/colleagues/fellow students/what-have-you and even important customers and stockholders or whatever, whomever, as applicable, can at least be canvassed for sympathetic support outside, say, on the lunch break, by an Ad Hoc outside advocacy and intervention team, to draw support away from the bullies and instead raise awareness and support for the target of bullying and even begin building a stronger legal case than an isolated and harried target of bullying is likely to muster all on their own.

Lifting the impossible burdens placed upon the targets of incessant bullying

If any respected adult where to plainly state words to the effect of: "Thoroughly bored of your tiresome intimidation as I have become, nevertheless I take you extremely lightly, my good fellow, because we both know that if you where ever to raise your hand to me or anyone else within my sight, I shall certainly fill out a police report and see it through to criminal charges. But mind your manners, sir, and we might even get along by ignoring one another." -would that qualify him or her as a Reactive Victim type bully, or the response as somehow provocative or Masochistic, in any functional adult society? Indeed, shouldn't the prospect of whatever suitable official complaint be the expressly preferred deterrence?

After all, if violence in kind is all we respect, then why be coy about it? indeed, in one way or another, some or any objection at all will eventually be crucial in salvaging self esteem from humiliation. And for that purpose, simply weeping and bawling openly in public might not quite do. So, exactly how are we to expect people to ever stand up for themselves? Do we embrace the typical view of thugs and bullies of complainants as "rats," or do we honor fully all legitimate redress? This question must be pressed, always, to a satisfactory resolution, both as a matter of official policy and informally, socially, by Clique Busters.

Because, plainly, threat of whatever appropriate official complaint should actually be protected and encouraged both officially and in society at large. Anything less is conditioning to helpless passivity that is part of victim blaming. And in case such is ever undeserved, than the natural response ought to be something on the order of: "Well then go ahead and lodge your complaint if you must. That doesn't frighten me because I obviously haven't done anything wrong." If both the grievance and the objection thereto come in good faith, a heated yet substantive exchange might ensue, even moving towards honest mediation.

Indeed, isn't rational controversy the most civilized and constructive exchange to which any society of autonomous individuals ought to pride and aspire? Do we not value forthrightness? And what is the acceptable response, but likewise? Or do we simply coddle acting out because in actuality, we only offer lip service to our ostensible democratic values? Clique Busters must actually orchestrate open and public validation of free expression of grievance and of whatever applicable due process, not merely in the abstract, but as example cases arise, locally.

Indeed, it should hardly come as any surprise that bullies would be averse to the ideas of free expression of grievance and due process against bullying, or that bullies, criminals and oppressors actively discourage either practice. All the more reason why increased bullying in response to being warned to desist from bullying (in legal terms: retaliation) should be punished most quickly and severely of all, by whatever means are licit. Or else authority becomes an ugly joke. Indeed, any such predictable behavior of bullying can and should be exploited by Clique Busters against bullies at every opportunity, and as repeatedly, publicly and shatteringly as possible. Anything less is sheer impunity for bullying. Because bullying unpunished only persists.

All this being said, nevertheless, what are we to advise the target of bullying, as a real world practical matter, as regards to sticking up to bullies with a fair warning of whatever appropriate redress? Strategically, we might not recommend it. Indeed, to be politic, it might be suggested that if the bullies only behave the worse, then clearly they deserve no fair warning. Instead, one unnerving tactic might be to smile wickedly at the bullies as if one has a secret!

But blaming the target of bullying for being provoked at all is entirely unacceptable no matter what, and be every means must be decisively ruled out, by whatever necessary disruption, before any further discussion. Any cooperation provided by the target of bullying ought to be treated as an immense favor. That the targets of bullying must deal with bullying is undue and burdensome trouble on the part of the targets of bullying. Never must the target of bullying be rebuked simply for imperfect coping or other such nit picks. There is no perfect coping with continual bullying. No one is perfect, but anyone must first be rescued from danger and abuse before ordinary self improvement can again be considered in requisite the tranquility. Basic protections must never be excused or made contingent upon picayune complaints, much less invented grievances. Any restraint on the part of the target of bullying ought to be appreciated and considered as grace under fire and an immense favor indeed to the society that has failed in the protection of the individual. The trust of the target of bullying must be well and fully earned by unconditional opposition to bullying, before any even however most minimal added restraint or cooperation be requested from the target of bullying, and even then, most humbly and apologetically, under the circumstances of bullying which, after all, ought make responsible authorities blush.

More over, meekly and most publicly apologizing in wretched mortification for flagrant bullies may even be far more devastating thereto even than actually scolding the bullies however soundly, much less actually accommodation or victim blaming. And as a matter of optimal casting for maximal devastation and humiliation of bullies and their vicious cliques, the apologetic spokespersons might be any sort of authority figures and minor celebrities, figures of pathos such as the elderly and infirm, or however passably attractive women.

Bullies generally prefer to target the socially isolated who are without defenders. Therefore, the simplest and most innocuous thing that can be done by any individual against bullying, is to immediately befriend the target of bullying should one ever, whenever, come upon a bully or bullies bullying. The bully or bullies will then retreat.

Alas, however, such opportunity is too haphazard as a reliable solution. And the bullies will only resume their harassment later on. That is why Clique Busters seeks a comedic systematic approach, by keeping known bullies and their targets under surveillance, to perform such maneuvers consistently, subjecting the bullies to mounting frustration in locating vulnerable targets of abuse at all. 

Also, to better protect the targets of bullying, it will be important for Clique Busters cell to assimilate the targets of bullying into their peer group, and involve themselves in the day to day lives of said targets of bullying in order to better watch out for them. To raise consciousness, close ranks, and help build such group support as will leave bullies stymied, even ones in authority. Even to adapt such solidarity mimesis as nurses on call facing abusive supervisors have categorized under "Code Pink".

-- ever hear of a "Code Pink"? If a doctor starts to berate a nurse, the other nurses within hearing step forward beside the nurse under attack, and stare SILENTLY at the doctor until he/she realizes that the appropriate way to discuss the patient care in question would be to have pulled the nurse aside to a private area and speak as professionals. Incredibly effective, and gives the nurses a way that is not direct or aggressive to modify the oft-times stressed-out MD behavior. After a couple of times, that behavior is not repeated again on THAT floor!

Again, the reason that bullies retreat at the sight of a target having friends, is because bullies prefer a victim they can isolate. But never a member in good standing accepted by their own immediate social circle, who may be supported when under attack. (Indeed, if future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry, when operational, will, indeed, solve the problem of bullying, quite without any need for the Clique Busters, then, most simply, it will be by social embedment, leaving no stragglers for predation.) 

Vague impossible and/or expanding demands and/or complaints/accusations, secrecy rather than useful feedback to at all chart one's progress in meeting whatever such demands, reasonable or unreasonable, are all typically all part of setting up the target of bullying for failure as a pretext ominously building up to abuse of power in the form of sanction of whatever sort. A decidedly helpless, maddening and Kafkaesque Paranoid experience.

Aesop said: "It is no use pleading when the prosecutor and the judge are one and the same." -As when the whoever takes it upon themselves to define whatever sort of standards are also taking upon themselves to decide who and who does not meet such invented benchmark (however defined or deliberately undefined). And this will tend to be difficult to demonstrate, as such tend to be very slippery and unaccountable. 

And hence such ordeal only accrues the terror, attrition and exhaustion from endless Cat and Mouse headgames. For authority or peer pressure is well known evaporate what little support that the target of bullying may have found within an organization or hierarchy of whatever sort, as if it where never there at all. Hence, the best standard advice for targets of bullying is to hold onto sanity, trust no one, and to take great care not to say anything that might be turned against one, and to document all interactions, verbal and otherwise, with bullies.

An interlocutor available by phone or email to help the target of bullying keep and organize such a journal or log might be not only emotionally supportive and validating but actually useful. Indeed, a drop in visit for just such might even be intimidating for bullies and their sycophants!

Indeed, one effective mode of intervention might be to contact and keep tabs on any target of bullying, to conduct ongoing interview and keep records. And, of course, ongoing covert electronic surveillance may also help best cover such vital needs of record creation and maintenance. And there is even The National Bullies Register. (Though it currently seems dormant.)

Clique Busters is conceived to help network all such above vital needs in bullying crisis.

Any target of bullying will also be well advised to locate and secure witnesses and their written or recorded statements to back up one's own testimony of specific experiences or observations. Of course, that would be easier with the help of friends! And for the isolated and harried targets of bullying, Clique Busters, in outreach and recruitment, is conceived to bring those who need it together to provide just such reciprocal assistance.

A target of bullying will also be most fortunate to find support and/or mediation from an outside source to meet with all parties and find some middle ground and even, if all else fails, to help the target of bullying in the pursuit of legal action.

That, too, should be one of the roles of Clique Busters, but not to the extent of reinventing the proverbial wheel. Rather, a) to serve such function in social contexts and situations where such a thing does not yet exist and probably has not been considered, and b) for outreach, intervention to immediately bring targets of bullying (who might otherwise ill advisedly simply try to weather the storm and hope in vein for things to blow over) together with whatever help exists, is available, and is found to be at all reliable and useful. This will also afford the opportunity for Clique Busters to build ties of common cause to existing and influential associations.

Roots of Empathy actually utilizes regular visits with an infant into the classroom to reduce levels of hostility by teaching social/emotional competence/literacy and empathy in order to effectively help elevate each student's emotional quotient, the quotient between the "emotional age" and the chronological age in order to measure emotional intelligence, how well a person understands emotions, intelligence regarding the emotions, especially in the ability to monitor one's own or others' emotions, particularly as determined by such as the MSCEIT (Meyer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test).

And surely, the above empathy tactics are as benign as it ever gets! So, can there any imaginative context or pretext for wider application? And could such ever be enough alone? Or might it remain safer to maintain a broader array of appropriate tactics against bullying?

Indeed, though already slightly more confrontational, the Bully Fix of Dr. Michael Leeds is an intervention wherein the participants, perhaps also including the targets of bullying too, gather together with the bully in an encounter group, and the bully is made aware of their own bullying behavior by demonstration, by being triggered into such habitual response under the controlled conditions, in order then to have said bullying behaviors lucidly pointed out to the bully. And it does seem only fair, after all.

Now, some bullies, hither to so blithely un-self-aware will be given awkward pause, ultimately to contemplate changing their ways. How wonderful, always! But other bullies, unable to cope, will retreat into denial, and the worst most Narcissistically indifferent will only smile and taunt: "what-cha gonna do about it, chump?" -Or any range between just such brazen flagrantly hostile expression or else slippery subtext still to that same effect.

That us why Clique Busters proposes, if need be, to go any further than the The Bully Fix in so far as to contrive the necessary encounters and dramatic mimesis between bullies and targets of bullying, even without the cooperation of whatever authorities if any, and to at all explore whatever feasible and decent nonviolent prospect of going beyond simply making bullies aware of their behaviors, merely bringing to the attention of bullies their misdeeds, if and as ever need be.

Whereas future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry is conceived to open even to bullies, more meaningful connections than the pathetic co-validation of their cronies. To provide better compatible matches to better integrate even bullies into society, in order to improve them. But it always pays to have a contingency or an added motivator. And that's where Clique Busters comes in. Their world must end, for ours to begin!

That is why the Clique Busters are to routinely infiltrate the cliques of the bullies with operatives under cover feigning approval for bullying, in order to better maintain surveillance and intelligence gathering. Let alone, ever by any means or notion, outreach to reform them. 

After all, even Harry Seldon (unlike Karl Marx) had a Second Foundation up his sleeve to safe guard his great plan from distortion.

The brilliance of viral marketing on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry will be that even people who do not actively access the system, may still be profiled and matched thereby, from the compiled data anonymously entered by others. Future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry is conceived of not be merely a software, but a culture, that which people do. And future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry will facilitate outreach, even to the isolated or victimized. And, if need be, via Clique Busters, to better help bullies by consistently disrupting their bullying. Which is only what a truly civil society ought to do in the first place! Despite the concerns of critics who deem it intrusive to "educate" others. Some bullies, kiss ass that they are, may even take a hint and desist. 

Clique Busters will also be important, because, as well as simple harassment and intimidation, bullies conspire and collaborate toward what is now recognized as and termed Relational Bullying, or to coin another description, Interpersonal Sabotage. The very opposite motivating goal put forth for future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry.

Anger phobic critics have even sunk so far into bullyspeak apologism as to complain that Clique Busters seeks to bully the bullies, thus sinking to their level, and that two wrongs don't make a right. I counter that the repertoire of Clique Busters techniques and responses are well within the conscience even of Pacifism, turning the tables, throwing the curve ball, playing the Transactional Antithesis, subversively elevating with justice, the mimesis of the bullies from scapegoating into a valuable morality play upon civility. And even then, as intended only for deployment given the failure of compassion, sweet reason and peace making, and as an alternative to the scapegoating, victim blaming and breakdown, conditioning of victims to passivity which so often follows, when there is a failure to stand up to unreasonable bullies who depend upon opposition being so completely wishy-washy.

On the other hand, for those who see resistance to bullies as at least possibly appropriate, but for whatever reason, question the idea of reformation thereof, let thwarting bullies be considered the primary objective, while any moral lesson learned by bullies from being consistently thwarted, the Psychiatric breakdown of the adaptation, be considered a possible and welcome added moral victory. 

To paraphrase Clausewitz, Clique Busters is the continuation of civilized policy by different means.

Make no mistake, the ethics and morality of Clique Busters is a very serious consideration. Indeed, is it even possible for any sort of moral code to cover every conceivable circumstance or option? Not to mention that any action, however righteous, may have all manner of unintended and unforeseen consequences and repercussions. So, moral paralysis is not actually so hard to understand.

But as nothing can be perfect, the tactical options of the Clique Busters approach only needs to offer hope of improvement to be worthy of further serious consideration.

Consider also, that whatever the rules of engagement from the onset, in the end people will end up doing things differently, one way or another, according to their own natures. Any human process may evolve or simply go awry! -No matter what safe guards may be undertaken.

History teaches us that there is grave concern in sanction of action against people then for whatever reason classified as destructive, no less than in the alternative extreme of tying the hands of innocent victims.

Yes, life is often intrinsically and inevitably offers only the limited and dubious freedom that is choice of lesser evils. And, so, in any given situation, what are the alternatives? If a viable alternative, one that is not already failed and that is more responsible than Clique Busters presents itself, then, perhaps that ought to take precedence. But passivity and denial only abjure all responsibility, providing enablement for impunity compounding whatever damage.

Everyone gossips, but malicious gossip, in particular, has special conspiratorial and anticompetitive adversative mode of Memetics:

The fundamental types or tactics of bullying consist, if not of violence out right or at least intimidation, then harassment, bullying mimesis, the syndrome of "mobbing" shunning and Relational Bullying by such means as disruptive pranks, peer pressure and evil gossip towards isolation and ostracism.

Beyond proselytizing, consistency, consensual validation and demonization to rationalize all manner of abuse, bullying memes employ what Dawkins calls the adversative mode against all dissent, the attacking and/or undermining opponents. Since it may also frighten many nonhosts into silence, the adversative mode effectively sabotages any counter-meme. The level of bullying and intimidation reduces most of its opponents to silence. But likely opponents, less proximate to nexus of cliquish interaction and power, and hence any harder to intimidate can always be kept in the dark, even as repressive elements expand outwards and increase in their strength and number.

For, to paraphrase Sun Tzu, malicious gossip is like water, flowing to the lowest places, and avoiding the high moral ground. Or like an electric spark to excite the evil doer, passing between the readiest conductors, while avoiding the insulation of morality or credulity. Such is the memetic vectorization of malicious gossip and highly organized mean spirited conspiracy adversative memes.

One standard strategy of bullies is simply to persistently propagate hate speech about the targeted person in order to incite hostility by any disturbed personalities or fanatics. 

Bullies can often be hard to identify and oppose due to their two-facedness, as well as the power connections they've established. Such bullies are devious manipulative consummate liars. And, often, it may even take low guile to thwart low guile.

And, as to the place of and the need for low guile, in the good fight, it does well to remember how George Bernard Shaw reported no pang of conscience what so ever, in pointing the fox hunters in entirely the wrong direction after the frightened quarry dashed by before his very eyes. And as much can be said of the righteous who gulled the Nazis at every opportunity to protect the persecuted. Even courageous Pacifism must draw a demarcation line from sheer spineless conflict aversion.

Counterpropaganda 

Of course, Clique Busters ultimately aims at building effective and open consensus against bullying. At some point, we must speak out for Clique Busters to begin propagating culturally. That is why protest and counterpropaganda attack operations are also key to Clique Busters, Online, by flyers, buttons, other handouts, eye witness video and word of mouth. Yes, consciousness raising and orchestrated gossip,  expanding counter-mimesis and with a vengeance! And this may necessarily entail that bullies may come to experience distress from harsh public criticism of their behavior. The bullies, after all, are to be pitied, having scorned every true friend to teach them right from wrong. And some one must arise to tell them "no". 

But, in that case, what is hoped will distinguish Clique Busters counterpropaganda from the bullies own repertoire of defamation? In a word, justice. Instead of the kill-joy of abrupt intervention without resolution, instead, civility to subvert bullying mimesis by involvement with dramatic meaning and honest moral value beyond the impunity of bystander apathy that only panders to scapegoating.

Not mere criticism, but grievance. And, of course, truthfulness. With the motivating goal put forth not merely of dominance, but of moral victory and value. And certainly not martyrdom. Nor should perfectly truthful targets of bullying have to fear sounding crazy or pathetic ever again!

More alternatives? 

Short of complete and utter moral paralysis, Beating the Bully is a short and sensible article about dealing with bullying.

The context is that of grade school, but one may consider what part of it may or may not adapt to any other social context. But one must also consider when any strategy might fail or become self defeating.

For examples, in less formal circumstances where responsible authority is not clear or ill equipped, in situations of  scapegoating and victim blaming, false accusation of whatever sort or collaboration with bullies one way or another, when stalking bullies actually make themselves nigh impossible to avoid particularly during social events where there is a grave Catch-22 dilemma in that retreat, momentary or permanent, obviates participation and only yields to the bullies' aim of exclusion of the target of bullying. Or when whatever legal recourse fails or becomes endlessly protracted. Nor is retreat even always feasible when there is an obligation to attend, as in the workplace or the classroom.

Indeed, the article does not even really deal with Relational Bullying. nevertheless, Beating the Bully remains good practical advice in some situations, and from which to make a beginning.

Likewise, though focusing in the workplace, kickbully.com  where your fight begins

Of course, hypocritical bullies also can and do take a prosecutorial tone. Alas, guilt tripping, after all, is no more exclusive to truth and justice than indignation is reserved for the blameless. Because there are always manipulative scoundrels getting away with fraudulently seizing the moral high ground.

Thus, the potential for abuse in any sort of response what so ever is demonstrated. And some are sharply profoundly paralyzed by this realization.

But the freedom of any moral choices can only be responsibly evaluated in comparison to the practical alternatives. Unassertive inaction by apathetic bystanding, dishonest silence and social loafing, these are sins of omission, however rationalized by whatever craven and self serving blanket demonization on principle of any resistance or opposition what so ever.

nevertheless, perhaps one fine day, future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry alone can end bullying, non confrontationally. Hey, if ya hate Clique Busters ya gotta love advanced automated Sociometry! But there are foreseeable problems, even with future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry. And, therefore, if it is ever needed, something like Clique Busters might well arise on it's own. Because future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry, if it works at all, would inevitably help coordinate global bully resistance already coming together, and even network together people who would evolve into Clique Busters by sheer complementary inclination. Unless, of course, the need for any of that indeed simply begins to disappear come the advent pf future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry, as visionary computer programmer Douglas Wilson is convinced it must. nevertheless, we may only be prudent to cover all bases simply to err on the side of caution.

For, indeed, just as the Civil Rights Movement was answered with murderous Racial violence, and just as Gay Liberation has elicited Gay Bashing, indeed, future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry, not despite but because of all the great good it could do, may be answered with a Reactionary backlash well before the entire world can ever be Utopian transformed.

In one case in the news, a Heterosexual male was severely injured in a beating by an assailant who simply thought the man was Gay, just because he was seen hugging a close friend before taking leave of the restaurant where they had gone with others for dinner. Worse, police response was decidedly half hearted. Gay Bashing is on the rise because open Homosexuality has triggered certain unstable and extreme Homophobes, who otherwise might tend to stay underground, but who continue to be supported underground, not unlike abortion clinic arsonists and other terrorists.

And, likewise, the tendency of Relational Bullying and harassment, in any context, and on any scale, from the petty to the severe, to escalate when the target of bullying tries to do anything about it, or things begin to improve, is well established. Because such petty cliques are protective of their vested interests and power, and such bullies already readily excitable to jealous rage by both the vulnerability and even the envied positive traits of what ever sort of personalities the bullies look for and tend to target as victims.

Thus, it is plain fool hardy not to have an interim back-up plan like Clique Busters. Just in case even future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry does not reform bullies just a step faster than it helps their targets or otherwise begins to improve and open up society in ways that, leave us face it, would rather tend to upset cliquish bullies to act out. Relational Bullying and Social Network Optimization are directly opposite and antithetical. Period. 

Besides, until hoped for future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry, we must make do with other feasible options.

And even from future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry, social conflict, "culture wars" of some kind, are eminently likely. And head-in-the-sand Moralistic see/hear/speak no evil Pollyannas are merely irresponsible enablers for bullies. And it must be hoped, someday, and sooner better than later, that the positive influence of advanced automated Sociometry will help them all to grow back-bones, instead. 

Indications are that bullies may already be coming out against advanced automated Sociometry. But response suggests that Clique Busters may even help raise interest in future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry. Thus, it may be hoped that the Clique Busters concept may prove more of an actual asset than any sort of embarrassing  public relations liability, after all. 

Be that as it may, the correct identification of bullies and victims is key, of course. Hierarchies of bullies, and conflicts among bullies, may complicate the picture. That is why effective Intelligence gathering and development are crucial. local area social network mapping functionality will also be useful in intelligence analysis as entailed in projections of future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry.

Also, individuals who are really only angry mainly because they might be pining for acceptance by bullying cliques, are quite a different matter than targets of bullies, known or unknown to the targets who only want to be free of bullying and want nothing to do with bullies. And Relational Bullying goes far beyond any bounds of the right of refusal by anyone, however snooty, to associate with anyone else in particular, individually, or even to dislike them, privately.

The difference is that divisive Relational Bullying contrives and connives to isolate the target from third parties entirely, even to ostracize the target completely. To actually search and destroy all of the target's existing social connections and block every opportunity for the target to make new ones. And that's distinctly another matter, isn't it? A conduct so vile, that it's sheer unbelievability is exploited by bullies to vilify and discredit not only the target of bullying, but the very idea that such things do, indeed, happen at all. And these are all important counterpropaganda points against the lies and rationalizations of abusive bullies. Given these realities of human nature, are we all Paranoid enough?

• some social headgames

Does Relational Bullying fall within freedom of association? 

CERTAINLY NOT! 

The entire point of Relational Bullying is ambient or stealth abuse to obstruct, subvert and misdirect consenting association. Relational Bullying is not an expression of the bully's freedom of association. What a pernicious lie to ever suggest that it ever could be! Rather, Relational Bullying intentionally robs the target of their freedom of association, thereby making very broad adverse impact. 

"The rain it raineth every day
Upon the just and unjust fella
But more upon the just, because
The unjust has the just's umbrella"

Putting someone at a comparatively unfair disadvantage, or by unfair means, is robbing them. 

The social technology of Clique Busters proactively aims at the inception of a procedure that will motivate exposure of the truth and fan the flames of social and individual justice.

A good test for the identification of a clique of bullies is to persist in asking for explanation of their hostility in terms of objective reality and fairness. To insist to know what actually happened, and how and in what sense did their target ever wronged them. If the questioner is simply brushed off or scorned, then the bullies have been identified. However, by the same token, the questioning skeptic is endangered, exposed to the bullies. 

But to actually learn the whole truth, another more devious approach is indicated:
When stroked, these braggarts will spill their guts uncontrollably, of all they'd never admit under any duress. So desperate are they for validation. All that is required is feigned Sadistic approval! Indeed, questioning skeptics may even that easily restore their safety and anonymity, by simply pretending to change sides! 

Indeed, in order to avoid giving cues and contaminating the results, employ an emotionally loaded semi-coherent incomplete sentence as a projective test, just such as may be contrived to illicit response to exactly such ambiguous stimuli. Then humor the subject, feigning enthusiastic agreement to reinforce whatever answer as tumbles forth in response.

The Clique Busters Zen, the moral bottom line, is, if you came upon abuse of whatever sort, the act, preparation, or the conspiracy, might you ever hide and listen, to warn the intended victim or even to bear witness publicly and in protest? Might you ever go so far as to humor the wrong doers just to pump them for details by which to implicate themselves? And would you ever plan on doing any of this sort of thing deliberately? -Especially if you could rely upon good logistical support...

And, of course, the bullies' targets must also be contacted and interviewed, then warned about the bullies' evil plans. Not to mention anyone else by standing or involved.

Videography

Little Brother is watching right back! Indeed, the whole world's watching. 

Optionally, all interviews, infiltrations, response tests, events as they unfold and so much more, can all be covertly recorded, electronically. Of course, this constitutes a violation of privacy. Just as good street lights violate the essential privacy of muggers and burglars! No, damn it, abuse and conspiracy thereof is not part of the legitimate privacy of the abuser. Much as their sycophants will complain.

And, as a legal argument, we all record our experiences in our brains anyhow. Including conversation, how we sound out others, no less than whatever we actually do or witness. And this is within our rights. Better recording our own experiences electronically, even secretly, is distinct from planting bugs to invade privacy in order learn what happens when we are not there. (A far more difficult moral quandary.) We have the right to keep and to share records for our own strategic defense, and for the defense of others. To participatory cultivation of better information resources than the poison grapevines controlled by bullies. But I leave technological deployment issues to the individual conscience and legal precedents as they unfold.

 

Courts, incidentally, may tend to be even friendlier to the admission in to evidence of covert electronic surveillance by by witnesses to or participants in events and conversations in public venues, than where it to be from within any sort of personal residence where greater expectations of privacy might at all obtain. And that has included, for example, self incriminating bragging bullies at restaurant outings.

 

Clique Busters, as an electronic sleuth-it-yourself reciprocal assistance circle for isolated targets of bullying might already be a great help.

The Clique Busters Zen, the moral bottom line, is, if you came upon abuse of whatever sort, the act, preparation, or the conspiracy, while a ready camcorder happened to be on your person, would you, even in secret, press the button to record? If yes, then would you ever go out of your way, seeking to ever do it on purpose? 

Or do you ever need anyone to do as much for you? Either way, don't miss this:

 

 

Click to learn more about excitingAnti-bullying VIDIOGRAPHY opportunities for national TV...

 

Big Brother is watching. But Little Brother is watching back! Welcome to the surveillance society. You can even borrow the equipment and facilities as needed, much the way one checks out books from the local library, by joining your local Cable Access channel and thereby becoming an independent cable access producer. The genie is well out of the bottle. Let's make good from it. There are powerful applications to counterpropaganda, and if need be, legal evidence, to oppose bullies decisively. And they might never back down and desist unless and until they know we mean business. 

 

Indeed, the warning signs of bullying can also be captured on camera for the added persuasion of pathos.

Moreover, there may also be the open brandishment of camcorders and the like, to intimidate wrong doing and hearten opposition. A matter for prudent judgment, however, should discretion prove the better part of valor. 

In any case, Clique Busters is not dependant upon that technology. Only likely enhanced by it. Also, there may yet even be the prospect of lucrative Reality TV rights.

 

It is important to always present bullies with the opposite of what they are counting on. To read them the riot act when they laugh up their sleeves, expecting one to swallow one's rage. But then one must stay calm when they are trying to get one's goat. Clique Busters, after all, is about regaining the all too crucial initiative. 

Reverse Psychology 

Emotional quotient is the quotient between the "emotional age" and the chronological age in order to measure emotional intelligence, how well a person understands emotions, intelligence regarding the emotions, especially in the ability to monitor one's own or others' emotions, particularly as determined by such as the MSCEIT (Meyer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test).

Another Clique Busters strategic option may be to actually egg on bullies, in such a way that it will be obvious that they are being set up, and ridiculing them in the process. As they come to resent this, they may actually be conditioned to become suspicious and resentful of the attention, support and Existential co-Validation they crave for bullying. Such tactics may be most effective in reconditioning with followers, blistering outright sheeple, the "mobbing" and shunning copycat bullies and often characterized by underdeveloped emotional intelligence as opposed to the narcissistic indifference more typical of their ring leaders.

In a carefully controlled and orchestrated scenario, imagine repeatedly actually setting up bullies, egging on a bully, but progressively in an ever more a loud crass publicly mocking manner, ever more clearly at the bully's expense, there by conditioning the increasingly uneasy bully to actually mistrust enablers and instigators! That might be particularly good for copycat bullies, together with open discussion to help them gain the desired perception and perspective with regards to their conduct, and how they might actually appear to others they ever might ever hope to impress. 

In other words, by orchestration and subterfuge, to actively condition by humiliation and shaming, the clear and distinct impression that bullying is actually ignominious, an unworthy conduct marked by and attended upon by discreditable public contempt, until the behavior pattern abates and is redeemed by change to the better. 

Maneuvering the enemy

While bullying can be a very public display, even so, bullies are often very sneaky. Or they just have sheer unmitigated brass and show no empathy or conscience, smugly playing it off like nothing at all. Such bullies are all about getting away with bullying.

Exposed and shamed bullies will slink away. But they must never be allowed to save face in this way. They must slyly be momentarily obstructed just momentarily and long enough to be scolded and asked to leave. And they must be identified for the record and perhaps even an update to The National Bullies Register. (If only to test if it's actually up and running.)

 

And the bullies must be entrapped into this object lesson, incessantly, so that there disgrace will become widely known and embraced, and they will deprived of all opportunities for bullying with impunity. 

 

 

Thwarting the bullies, continually 

 

In case of Relational Bullies simply pursuing the strategic and maliciously motivated goal put forth only in provate, of disrupting the targets' social connectivity and isolating them, then the bullies must perceive increasing support and sympathy for their target(s), and as a direct result of the bullying. The very opposite of the bullies motivaring goal, even if put forth only in private.

 

If the bullies like to be congratulated on their destructive behavior, then they must accrue only ridicule and scorn of the bullying behavior and character defect in specific. Indeed, neither the bullies nor the society will learn anything, unless the point stays clear. No, Clique Busters is not mere bullying of bullies. They may often do that to each other anyhow! And painful as that might be, it only tends to validate them that they are no worse than anyone else.

 

Nevertheless, no matter the convenient picayune petty peeves of the bullies against their targets of abuse, it hardly follows that all targets of bullying are themselves bullies or instigators.

Impunity must be nullified by public accountability. Sly secrecy by exposure. Existential validation by brutal candor. If the sneaky bullies need to get away with something, then they should never. If the bullies need a moralistic "public service" excuse, like "protecting" others from the target's mythical undesirability (that, typically, the bullies have themselves manufactured into the public consciousness) or from the target's efforts to reach out for social contact, however awkward, either intrinsically or else especially given the obstructive and confidence shattering impossible situation of being continually stalked and targeted for bullying, then self serving self appointed unasked "protection" must be something to even be deliberately tempted from conniving bullies, only to then be replied with public scorn, disgust and ridicule at every attempt. Then denounced, in counterpropaganda, as the veiled intimidation, sexual exploitation, and Relational Bullying that it truly is. 

 

Clique Busters must be chronic kill-joys, taking all the fun out of bullying in order to help put a stop to it. 

 

And all this directly challenges the cultural glorification of jealousy, at the root of so much social strife and so many dysfunctional relationships.

 

The moral bottom line is, would you ever be so hard on bullies, if the problem was that far gotten out of hand, and a strong rebuke where called for? And, under any circumstances, would you ever condone orchestration of such a practical rebuke, if ever such appeared needful?

 

Tactics against petty Demagoguery

A speaker who starts by forthrightly explaining how he wants his audience to respond may be said to be utilizing the technique of direct persuasion. But if, instead, other cues are utilized to demonstrate and inculcate the desired "correct" validated frame of response, this is nothing more than somewhat heavy handed suggestion building up mounting peer pressure.

 

For example, even the most trivial and picayune and even utterly boring, prosaic narratives can delivered in the most hushed dramatic tones of incredulity, ridicule and outrage. After all, a petty peeve may incorporate some particle of truth, but it remains picayune and must be exposed, ridiculed and denounced as such. In such event, Clique Busters should invite others to listen from hiding to any such scenario, and then infiltrate by first joining in to feign approval and amplify the loud-mouth bully, who will be at first delighted, but then, to the loud mouthed bully's horror, shifting into raucous parody, all before the gales of uproarious laughter from the audience that the Clique Busters have brought in tow to help make fools of the petty bullies. Covert video surveillance records can then be redeployed in extensive counterpropaganda of the message that whatever evil gossip accusations against the target of bullying tend to be so utterly without merit as to be laughable, and that there is always, in persecution, a crisis of real accountability.

Of course, defamation tends to unfold behind the back of the target and/or may be sprung on the undefended target of bullying by surprise, and so response may be difficult. Hence, effective covert infiltration monitoring of the cliques of enemy bullies is requisite, as is support and defense of the target of bullying, for any intelligence gathering and counter-operations culminating in a sting to turn the tables on the bullies and liars.

Dramatic "tisk-tisk" shock and great relish expressed in the exchange of evil gossip often serves to render it somehow surprising, conclusive, damning and the more humiliating. Of course, evil gossip quickly becomes self validating, as does the typical McCarthy style bureaucratic manufacture of fraudulent information. Both patterns are similarly characterized by a mob mentality and transfer of individual responsibility for all statement and action.

Of course, all evil gossip and McCarthy style abuse of process should be quickly repackaged and emphatically disseminated by Clique Busters into righteously indignant counter-accusations of kangaroo court, ambient or stealth abuse. malicious evil gossip and pernicious lying.

 

Often, blithe argument against whatever misunderstanding may, by eliciting whatever the same decoding error or falling back upon whatever the same faulty background information assumptions, even seemingly confirm, compound and reinforce the same confusion. The more so, then, when cunningly inveigled into futile struggle with deliberate and malicious distortion.

In the words of G. C. Lichtenberg "The most dangerous untruths are truths slightly distorted." Indeed, a standard technique of lying and defamation is to take anything out of context. But the lie may then even be exposed by restoring whatever omitted salient detail, unless, of course, all such rebuttal is obstructed, shouted down, or buried. And, again, false context and bias may even be manufactured by the Big Lie of sheer suggestion, strong peer pressure combined with Appeal to Spite, as when utterly dishonest and hostile interpretation is presented as preface to bias quotations and citations from the target of bullying, ostensibly damned in their own words. Indeed, such bias and suggestion in propaganda are well known to often override even the evidence of the senses, let alone Critical Thinking! Any response then becomes difficult and complicated, on the defensive, relying upon an appeal to reason and demanding of others to get beyond the great flourish of presentation and actually scrutinize for themselves whatever purported evidence in question before them, to see if indeed it at all even supports or corresponds to the distorted allegations at all. By the time the truth is at all dragged into the light, it will be hard work to sustain anyone's exhausted patience in order to regain the initiative and evoke moral outrage against the lying bullies.

Hence, the target may be faced with a most calamitous dilemma of either getting sucked in to a cycle attrition and exhaustion or else of passively abandoning all defense against the most damaging Relational Bullying and defamatory character assassination. It is in such event that Clique Busters intervention and support can be crucial, to regain presentation and context of whatever quotations and citations, restore accuracy, expose distortion and regain initiative and reverse scapegoating, better if quickly, before public opinion firms and sets.

 

"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."
-Mark Twain

Why is Clique Busters actually taboo?

"I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones."
-John Cage

 

Even among those who actually relate so passionately to the problem and the experience, none will explain to me their squeamishness even to acknowledge the actual Clique Busters proposal. Indeed, they will more readily discuss bringing back the old woodshed and paddle or even just going Columbine postal! And so I am left only to ponder why...   

 

Machiavelli confounds with hard realism, all the ideal false argument by analogy of classical philosophy in sociology and politics. nevertheless, arguing as he was wont with the original Cynics, Socrates rebuts amoral expediency, the Real Politick of his day, with one salient point. For, even as Machiavelli later urged his prince that it is better, safer, more effective to be feared than to be loved, Socrates had already cautioned his fellow Athenians that for any effective deterrence, even those who fear to offend against you must also trust you all the more, not to seize the very next advantage as may arise and aggress against them nevertheless. Otherwise, they will only be obliged to do likewise. Thus, Real Politick remains both self fulfilling and reciprocal. In other words: no justice, no trust, no peace. Indeed, otherwise, even the very opposite of conflict need not be peace, but rather, and all to often, oppression.

Worse, every time the oppressed begin finding the temerity to rise up demanding freedom, there are always the masses, however effusively sympathetic, of those nevertheless all the more urging remaining silent because now is simply not the time. But then, when is it ever? Alas there are always too many that prefer even oppression to conflict, no matter how that pains and shames them. And hence the logical consistency and best intentions even in acting out their most reprehensible compulsions of cowardice. Such are the touchy-feely Hobbesian toadies, no matter their bleeding hearted manipulation, soothing bribes of sympathy and paralytic guilt tripping, manipulatively shaming the underdog even deeper into the passive helplessness of inner conflict and despair. Stockholm Syndrome is indeed insidious and even infectious. For in the cautionary of Karl von Clausewitz, the enemy is always peace loving, because they will always prefer to aggress and to bully unopposed.

By contrast, never pretending to transcend all strife but merely striving to control and lower the stakes, the Passivism on the lofty path of Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King is, quite frankly, and like it or not, founded upon an application of emotional violence, protest raising conscience, not to make a fine point of it, shaming frequently targeted against whatever oppressors in appeal to and in the sight of the world bystanding. But names have been seldom named unless of powerful public figures assuming however broad social responsibilities, and thereby, in any substantiated democratic sensibility or spirit, inviting criticism and controversy.

However, beyond unchecked authority and the repression of one very large group by another, or by public officials and prominent individuals, abuse of power takes many other forms, and at every level and scope. So, what of similar moral suasion as in the grand scope of public issues, but on the more intimate scope of day to day life?

One major problem is that some might find the concerted effort at likewise shaming individuals or peer groups however richly deserving, of public denunciation however just and long overdue, far too personal and therefore much as bullying the bullies and sinking to their level; raising the uncomfortable and barbaric specter of putting up the accused in stocks for public humiliation or branding them for shame. Indeed, the very notion is literal taboo, nigh impossible to discuss because so many simply will not be prevailed upon even to speak of it, rather to sidestep by any means whatsoever the very question. Even though one may openly suggest bringing back the old woodshed and paddle or just going Columbine postal! And even now that it has become so much more difficult to at all credibly, deny the social dynamic of bullying by pretending that bullying is entirely a lone individual behavioral aberration, as prevalent only in most recent years.

Yes, there is veritable a well spring of concern to protect the tender feelings of the bullies, from the awful rebuke of the underdog! Can you say: "victim blaming?" -I knew that you could! One way or another, Narcissistic manipulative bullies are all too often masters of misdirection in order to make themselves seem the victims, unjustly maligned, wronged, even noble and selfless in occupation of the moral high ground.

And so, let us discourse unflinchingly upon the role of shame and shaming, and the awful power and responsibility incumbent thereupon:
As Mark Twain put it:
"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to." 

For good or ill, shaming is crucially formative in childrearing and beyond. And it is not all the same. Crucial difference include the distinction between the paralytic shock of guilt and the motility, even catharsis, of shame. Also whether shaming however inappropriately belittles the individual self worth intrinsically and even seemingly irredeemably, or whether shaming is genuine anger quite ingenuously directed against a behavior, particularly in the correction of any however destructive conduct and only in self defense. No less crucial a point is how, quite often, the more secretly amorally shameless the bully, the more conformist, sensitive and terrified of losing face, publicly. That is why bullying cannot merely be so obviously evil, but must be established as way uncool.

Not all qualms are equal. Shame is nothing shameful in and of itself, when shame manifests in the restraint from conscience. But squeamishness and sanctimony that shies from righteousness is no conscience at all. And so, beware, always, the sins of omission. For in all the nine circles of hell, Dante rightly reserves the very hottest section of the Inferno for those who cultivate neutrality in the midst of moral crisis! 

 

Attention can manifest as love or hate and may be directed towards doing, especially conduct or else towards mere being. Cliquish bullying is flagrant abuse of power and unfair advantage, corruptive positive stroking and all manner of rewards and advantages for the most deplorably hateful conduct to say the very least, and, generally, targeted against mere being of the howsoever vulnerable.

Whereas, Clique Bustersis certainly predicated upon howsoever negative attention focused against such malignant conduct, in attentive positive defense of mere being. Hence, then, the equivalency and literally unspeakable danger of Clique Busters and why the concept must be suppressed from public discourse.

We must never admit, so the timid thinking goes, that there is any difficulty or adverse consequence in simply standing up to bullies. Better that such timorous daring should ever fail or stifle still born, than that the effort should ever be redoubled with any greater resources and highly public support.

No, no! Keep the waves small, at all cost! Such is the imperative of timid reform.

Because the society of the bullies is our society and all that we have. Who can deny it? If people where ever to be encouraged to be genuine and socialize as they please and merely as real friends, then they will never be adapted to a practical adult world of productive deferential compromise. It is crucial then, to somehow with civilized maturity to rebalance and agreeably sublimate the roles of bully and target of bullying is at all possible, but, at all cost, certainly never to actually disrupt the roles of hierarchical dominance.

Of course, so the thinking goes, we should keep alive the cherished values of democracy in the long term of social progress, but never dare we truly exercise them in the here and now. For that simply is never practical.

Indeed? Well, Clique Busters says different! So, safest, then, comes the timid reformers status quo response in reflex, to skirt the very notion as literal taboo, never spoken off. After all, or so the tacit reasoning goes: There are ever so many entirely productive avenues by which to politely evade the point. Catharsis and insight are of great comfort, but assertive change is frightening. Rather, let the past be past and pretend that we are progressing on a solid foundation.

 

All sheer poppycock, of course!

 

There are many ways of dealing with bullying, some more extreme than others, at whatever expense of personal resources, time and effort, dire choices and with varying tradeoffs and degrees of effectiveness. Any human optimum is no small achievement. Moral suasion is already the very height of civilization. Angelic perfection and certainty is an impossible and paralytic demand.

 

Harm Reduction practice with regard to the problems of bullying predicate the recognition that social risk is a natural and universal part of all our lives. Social interaction in and of itself is hardly pathological. There is indispensable benefit as well as social risk and harm. Many people are coping the best they know how or can attain presence of mind, thinking on their feet or functioning under overwhelming and deliberately malicious pressure.

 

Achievement of change in situation is often a process or "journey" attended upon by numerous stages or phases. People change and readapt at their own pace, based upon such things as readiness and motivation, safety, information, skills and beliefs, their own hierarchy of needs. A client-centered, flexible, creative and non-judgmental approach is crucial to meeting the complex needs of anyone requiring any whatever conceivable service or support, Clique Busters no less than any other approach. Policy makers, educators and health promoters can dictate to targets of bullying how and why they should prevent harm and provide them with the means and wherewithal to do it, but only the target of bullying themselves have the legitimate final say, considered judgment and common sense that ought not to be invalidated by conditioned helpless Pollyanna nonsense. Such added pressure is simply inappropriate.

 

We are each and all entitled to whatever accurate, practical information, support and encouragement, for social groups to develop and coordinate together even the skills and stratagems of civility and orchestrated moral suasion among whatever conceivable tools and options to help reduce the harmful consequences of the situations they find themselves in, such as conditions of chronic bullying, consequences not only to themselves, but to all others and to society at large.

 

 

Righteousness and sex as a subversive act

 

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
- Matt Groening

 

Now we come to the complicated question of counteracting bullying cliquishness in our love lives:

 

In fear and under pressure it is easy to be wary without being prudent, confused and hesitant at any prospect for personal joy but exhausted, nervous and worn down and susceptible to blatantly manipulative exploitation, socially.

Indeed, the sexual caution of many women is often only effective at obstructing and deflecting ordinary and decent men, while ineffective and actually counterproductive at fending off manipulative users and abusers. The results, then, are predictable.

Worse, bad people in cliques, cult-like, often collaborate in prescreening all individual contacts through the peer group, in furtherance of their own agenda of exploitation and with little regard for the individual's well being or true best interests.

 

Fortunate, then, is anyone imbedded in any genuine web of support and free of domineering cliques!

 

We each have the right, of course, to have whatever congress between anyone who wants to, but only when you're good and ready, so long as whomever else remains interested. And we each also have the right, for example, even to copulate with anyone one chooses to even on the first date, if you ever might so desire, so long as they are also willing! If they wouldn't approve, then don't sleep with them! How dare they complain? And don't hold back to try to impress them, either. But run like Hell! Shun them completely! 

Aren't there risks and consequences in life enough, without these needless intrigues and innuendo additionally? -Without hypocritical prudish coercion into either premeditated entrapment or controlling conditional acceptance? Can there be no bonds of true affection instead of just withholdance, rejection and emotional extortion?

If your intuition is that you would be rejected by someone for sleeping with that person on the first date (even hypothetically), then that person is just sucker-bait! Not your judge appointed by God. And not a lost lamb for you to save, either. Only be true to yourself. The awkward may often benefit more from nurture than pressure, but bullies are not corrected by submissive wasted patience. 

So stop protesting your innocence, and stand up for your rights, if you ever really want to be respected by anyone who even has the capacity for respect!

The more one caters to Sexist assholes, the more one not only attracts assholes, but locks out connection from anyone better. Worse, when one deals with possessive and controlling manipulative assholes, bullies, they then progressively and deviously isolate one from anyone nicer and condition one into inability to accept acceptance at all.

 

Whatever anyone, personally, wants from relationships, or not, or how soon, or later, one had best begin by seeking out someone more tolerant! One cannot please prudes and Misogamists (woman haters) and man-bashers! So please don't. Just stop trying. Because, that behavior supports and rewards bullying, and thereby makes life difficult for the rest of us trying to get by at all.

 

For those who equate jealousy with authority, everything happy or confident is forbidden, because anything good in life will always incite acting out of jealous rage in one form or another by somebody or other.

 

Therefore, anything worth doing with anyone worthwhile may very likely also be subversive against those who resent it.

Ordinary acceptance is the initial foundation of healthy relationships, not the pinnacle of dysfunctional relationship building with the attachment disordered. If you don't start from tolerance then you simply won't arrive at acceptance. Nor will you ever achieve anything deeper or loftier. Permission is simply not forthcoming. Generally, the door is either open or it is not.

And to those women who insist that there are no Heterosexual honest intelligent attractive men who are not ambivalent intolerant and abusive, well then, here I am! We do exist. So don't be intimidated or diverted. So long as there is any mutual attraction of any kind, then all you really need to do is hold up your end of the conversation. As they sometimes say in the personals advertisements, I seek  nothing less than "partners in crime" (as it where) for "whatever works."

 

 

"If you don't risk anything, you risk even more."
- Erica Jong

 

 

 

Relational Bullying, divisive intimidation and Sexism

There are always those picayune zealots who rail against the objectification of women as inherent in Media and Advertising, just as they continue to do against cartoon violence and spirited Rock & Roll.

But all of that is still nothing more than pseudo-psychiatric magical Victorian thinking, that if we don't talk about it, if expression will only be excised from popular culture, sex and all of the strife that comes with it will just go away. But sexual and emotional exploitation, unexamined, is a day to day occurrence accepted and adapted to as part of business as usual. That is why real attitudes and practices ought to bear such scrutiny as is wasted upon witlessly oppressive culture wars.

Truth in jest:

As the old joke goes, three women from different countries discuss how each of them would cope, hypothetically, as the only woman stranded on a desert isle with a group of healthy and robust men. 

"I find a fortifiable safe location" answers the English woman. "I'd make an alliance with the strongest man to fend off the others" replies the American woman. "I don't understand" responds the French Woman, quite mystified. "What is the problem?" 

Answer:

"The popular clique or cool group, whose members have the most friends, socialize earlier than others inside and outside of school, and appear to be having all the fun." But the truth may be uglier than cultivated appearance.

In Jonathan Swift's 'Gulliver's Travels', Gulliver, upon his return to what we call civilization, describes life among the Yahoos. How the leader of the Yahoos is selected as  the worst person among them, and how he then recruits the next worse among the Yahoos as his lieutenants to help him herd together all the Yahoo women for themselves and violently monopolize all other resources as well. 

And Gulliver is perplexed at giving offence in giving his account of the ways of the Yahoos, blithely unaware how close it cuts to home! Nor can anyone explain it's offensiveness without exposing their own hypocrisy! What Gulliver describes, of course, is the amoral behavior of herd animals. And like herd animals, the Yahoos make no hypocritical pretence of Moralism even in all of their most flagrant self serving. -Unlike the persecution seen in that which we call civilization. 

For to quote Mark Twain, "Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to." 

"In general, most men fail to meet women [because] they travel in packs but go on the hunt solo" or, to employ the Naturalists jargon, they function, and badly, as "sneaky rutters", according to 'CubanJoe's Rules of Engagement', apparently a more condensed version of 'The Pickup Mission'.

But if the notion of a human pack seems already quite unsavory and disturbing, then, as Jonathan Swift reveals to us, the human herd is by far even the worse!

Bullies appeal to the lowest common denominator. Bullies are malevolent confidence tricksters often abusing trust of affinity and exploiting the greed for easy acceptance along with the urgency of misplaced compassion and sex appeal, to bypass Critical Thinking and conscience. 

There really is no term for a sexually active or sexually open woman that is not derogatory. Use value, physical, emotional, help, assistance and comfort in life, every good thing, all of it, is at best taken for granted and actually vilified as to lower exchange value! Obviously, this peculiar exchange rate was never set by lonely guys. You know, the nice ones, who are always finishing last, as the saying goes. nevertheless, it remains the truth, that virgins are boring! Thus it must be hoped that tolerance is not, in truth, the exclusive hall mark of the utter looser and undesirable. For yet does it escape me what can be so tantalizing about domineering sexist prudery, judgment and abuse. 

Disinhibiting chemicals, their social dependency and "Downright upright" TV commercials not withstanding, there simply is no way for a woman to be both respectable and free and exciting at the same time. Much as, now a days, many do try. Except by getting off the fence and asserting herself and the dignity of sex for pleasure. 

A woman only exposes herself to risk of judgment and abuse by depending upon Yahoo cliques of bullies for social connection. And needlessly so. Because, when bullies slander a woman who remains in demand, no less when they seek to poses one who mocks them, all the more, the bullies will only seem foolish and impotent. They know this, and can only fret amongst themselves, if their bluff is thus called. 

Not unless they are actually ready to resort to forceful coercion and even violence and enjoy the impunity for doing so.

And, for the most part, men are either genuine and therefore easy or else just manipulative. And this is uncomplicated. The drama of real complexity and depth of character arises from empathy, regret and analytic disposition, and not just any level of common inner turmoil and conflict whatsoever. Alas, the vulgar preference for predictable melodrama, in both art and a life, the mimesis of senseless headgames and Stockholm Syndrome full of tribulation that come only to one's own disadvantage. And this is more corruption in the Nietzschean sense, against which the struggle of true Feminist empowerment, no less than the Causeless Compassion of a mythic Wonder Woman, must fiercely contend.

The three motivating principle cofactors in effective manipulation and disorienting ambient or stealth abuse are whatever the incentive and disincentive vulnerabilities of the target(s), the tactics of the manipulator(s), and time for the relationship to develop under whatever situation, free or captive.

The common motivations for manipulation are sheer Sadistic cruelty and/or the insecure and even desperate habitual abuse of power and control over others in blithe and frantic self-deceit to shield, bolster and/or maintain a grandiose or inflated self-image often scared by victimization and manipulation in the past. -Recovery from which constituting the extremely rare motivation and dim hope for any such manipulator for the crushing and painful introspection and self-knowledge gained, ever to grow and change. Events obviously and manifestly even unlikelier to be facilitated or brought about by anyone themselves still desperate and toyed under the manipulator's thumb. -Except in fairytales, of course.

In whatever degree, and in it's immediate and long term effects, Stockholm Syndrome perhaps more accurately described as Slave Loyalty Syndrome or mentality, obviously applies to what amounts to effective captivity even in family life, and certainly to bored and stressed students and workers. Always, it's all for your own good, dear! Enhance your calm, citizen...

Frightened appeasement as a knee-jerk response must then be rationalized, even unto kinky fairytale false hope, if only in order to preserve self esteem. And, subsequently, social climbing in the face of conditionality amounts to the desperate attempt to negotiate the recovery of any shred of the dignity that thus has been stripped away by sly intimidation along with autonomy, and all without resistance.

The salient point omitted from direct assertion, even though actually fairly well explained in the otherwise most informative summary of 'Loving to Survive' is how Stockholm Syndrome, in any context or degree, is not merely situationally adaptive, but can all to often condition in the long term to become horrifically maladaptive and entrenched, even to the point of learned helplessness of Battered Woman's Syndrome, of conflict aversion and pathetically profound cowardice all clinging even to utterly kinky fairytale false hope beyond reason and even the most lucid conscious understanding. And also, what is not really confronted, evidently for fear of stigmatizing victims as defectively masochistic, is that resultantly attachment disordered sufferers of Stockholm Syndrome, in whatever context or degree, come to actually prefer abusers and manipulation to vulnerability. Indeed, yes, among other manifestations and examples, case in point, women so frequently do seem to prefer the biggest jerks and assholes! Though to be fair, many men, likewise, may be drawn to unattainable narcissistic women. Certainly, too many of us have lost confidence, pursue that which is withheld from us, and fail to reach out to opportunity or fight back in adversity.

Indeed, 'Loving to Survive' points out how, in classic Freudian identification with the abuser, the captive may bring themselves to see the world and themselves from the captor's perspective even to the point of seeing outside intervention, even the authorities, the police trying to win the captives release as "bad guys" and sees captor as "good guy" and protector. But what also bears mention is how, likewise, real relationship prospects, easygoing men, nice guys, sexually open and emotionally approachable, especially the romantic competitors and scapegoats of bullies and abusers individually or in cliques, can be all too easily demonized and relationally bullied, defamed and ostracized in society by abusive and exploitative cliques, unless the fair damsel in distress "protected" ever dare even think of asserting themselves speak, choose and account for themselves responsibly and ever extricate herself from the honor protection racket.

Indeed, in bears passing mention, also, how, as the German Feminists seem fond of pointing out, even after men, as cynical proverbed, easily enough controlled by means of the wonder bra, or otherwise or for whatever reason, have pretty much lost interest in persecuting women, women still energetically persecute one another. Such may be the classic "ugly stepsister" competitiveness among women under the enduring values of patriarchy, even long outliving initial historical cause or relevance.

• some social headgames

Accepting constraining values of sexual modesty and propriety (overwhelmingly powerful triggers of the deepest and most intensely personal embarrassment and shame) and even the most plainly arbitrary and unfair self serving judgmental rejection of ones peers is a prime example of the Stockholm Syndrome perversely maladaptive and codependent immediate and long term effect of overwhelming gratitude even for the barest most fleeting respite and eager willingness to see things from whatever the captor, abuser or bullies' point of view. Likewise shunning and failing to reach out to more accepting and easygoing people instead, particularly the romantic competition such as demonized by possessive controlling cliques of bullies, likewise fits with ambient or stealth abuse and the Stockholm Syndrome perversely maladaptive and codependent immediate and long term effect of frightened rationalized actual loyalty to abuse, eager gratitude even for the barest and most fleeting respite and determination too see things from the abusers Point Of View.

But, far from bearing any underlying redeeming agenda, abusive Relational Bullies hate their scapegoats and competitors the more should they succeed socially then should they fail.

So it remains the responsibility of women to master the overwhelming terror and knee-jerk response that rises at the implicit and violent rape-threat of prudish judgment and persecution, however "protective", and never, ever, to compete in so-called "virtue" with the more-virtuous-than-thou in their own ranks, but, instead, to deflate them decisively, continually and consistently.

And, always, however, without any of the opposing sexually active social climbing Catch-22 cooler-than-thou peer pressure, either, of course, which is the true prostitution needing no less to be disrupted and defused than the ubiquitous movable convent.

Rather, if women ever truly want equal respect, the genuine article and not the euphemistic semblance of the Double Standard, to uphold, zealously, Do-Me Feminism and the individual dignity of risk and of sex for pleasure and never to be conned, even as adults, into enduring as charity and accepting the control of such malignant disrespect that even children, quite frankly, should not.

Fear not, but always be glad to threaten the ignorant and evil, and make the most of it. For as Winston Churchill well said it, those who will surrender freedom for peace shall have neither and appeasers never prosper. Such great truth seldom stays in fashion, yet it returns again and again.

However, on the other hand, while simply walking away from all such ugly posturing may seem like the more mature response for a woman, that may often be exactly how the devious Gatekeeper Relational Bully isolates rivals and scapegoats to thereby limit and control a woman's freedom and choice of association. That is why any such rival or scapegoat must always be defended and the bully humiliated by failure and exposure, every time they attempt such hypocritically manipulative pranks and headgames. Upholding of civility and fair play remains crucial in functional role modeling of legitimate moral authority. Otherwise self-serving possessive and controlling bullies and hypocritical lust crazed prudes will continue to actually seize the moral high ground via the emulation of the blustering moralistic tyranny under which we all live.

Munchausens are well known for manipulating and exploiting the sympathies of the compassionate but unwary by the ambient or stealth abuse of deliberate exaggeration and/or fabrication and/or inducement of problems, most straightforwardly onto themselves, or more circumlocuitously, at the expense of others. In particular, the misdirection of Munchausen by Proxy, where in a surrogate is deviously exploited and abused by a Munchausen type perpetrator in order to foment melodrama and draw attention among the kind hearted, is well known.

In parallel, but instead among vicious uncaring bullies, in order to foment strife and put themselves at the center of the action while remaining passive, seductively play acting to the hilt the role of victim or damsel in distress for the manufactured and co-validated impunity of the most cultish and pimp-like isolating and controlling cliques, enticing bogus knight-errants and self appointed chaperones, malicious Munchausens typically love to deviously and manipulatively instigate and frame vulnerable, convenient and opportune hapless scapegoats as their proxies and targets of bullying doomed to face overwhelming harassment, danger and threats of violence, sexual harassment, Relational Bullying, evil gossip and defamation.

Thus do the worst bullies seek one another out, in a desiccated teasing and fraudulent courtship, a mockery of vulnerability and concern, directed only to abuse, exploit and lash out at others more alive than they whom they so fear, envy and resent.

Amazingly, the typical unfeeling two faced Sociopath, bereft of empathy, moral compass, analytic reasoning, self awareness and proportion, actually relishing all taboo and hypocrisy, is irresistibly drawn to the forefront in just such witch hunts in part, actually out of a desperation for missing values, involvement and meaning. And victimization may even be their way of reaching out. But it can only work at all on the most weak and cynical of targets, as when co-exploitative bullies chronically back-stab one another or in the worst manipulation, isolation and domination.

The most damaging conceivable innuendo may be such as will serve to mark the target of bullying as vaguely sexual predator and somehow render haunting and hounding said individual into some sort of public service, making trouble and scapegoating the victim. This can involve all manner of life style or orientation bigotry, but not necessarily. Motivation need not be anything more distinct than whatever self serving jealous rage. The scapegoated target of bullying, made pariah, will be hated the more in success than failure, an unwanted pest with every rebuff, dehumanized the more in solitary retreat, but a worse monster with every encouraging contact that must be invasively "rescued," in actuality, simply peer pressured, bullied, even threatened and penalized away from the target of such ostracism. And all of their own good, supposedly! Such the divisive Honor Protection Racket, since time immemorial. A massive and malignant pretension ripe for Clique Busting.

The Honor Protection Racket

Indeed, it may easily seem preferable to be regarded, treated and conditioned as a lifelong helpless witless milquetoast than the alternative, to be scapegoated and exploited as a slut.

In this case, it truly is better to give than to receive, in order to be sought after. Then it may be hoped that sex among other things, may even reside in the domain of entirely personal elective and free choice, as it should be, not a matter for consensus approval. That core privacy and autonomy may be regained and preserved.

The Pursuer-Rescuer Headgame greatly appeals to the Relational Bully or ambient stealth abuser who demands to be perceived as caring and compassionate, even while destroying any chance for others for happiness. They may even become fool enough to believe their own lies!

 

Thus, as the shill in the sting, a wake-up call for everyone, different women making public contact with a male target of bullying to arouse the chronic jealous rage of the bullies, are best bait in a Clique Busters sting. Because bullies reinforcing one another will be unable to resist trying to interfere like the villains they are, while expecting to bask in the acclaim reserved for heroes.

 

Openly aggressor or sly facile "protective" male Relational Bullies should then be subjected by the female shill to blistering mock-gratitude in the comedic vulgarity of over played damsel in distress parody impressions (a la Judy Tenuda) building up to scathing size comparison of diminutive principle organs, (vacuo-cranial, non-specific cardio spasmodic and emaciated genital) while female "protective" Relational Bullies (self appointed chaperones) should also be broadly denounced and ridiculed for smoldering repressed desperation (simultaneously crude/ desperate/ slatternly and yet inadequate/ repressive/ prudish - unfeminine genital desiccation, juiceless, devitalized and lacking in the proverbial the milk of human kindness) rather than ever reverenced or validated for championing chastity.

 

Or, to diffuse whatever less overtly confrontational yet commonly persistent tactics of interference or diversion, the appropriate dismissal and dripping condescension.

 

The Ulterior Transaction or headgame of Purser-Rescuer evokes sympathy, employs implicit sexual bribery, intimidation, peer pressure and offers impunity such as to excite Sadism. (Except, of course, for any genuine victim or against any actual threat. In such case, it will generally be ignored, and the evil doer shielded behind power and privilege.)

The only effective Transactional Antithesis against the playing of the bogus, cynical or histrionic damsel in distress card, is deflating exposure accomplished by immediate sharp and knowing mockery from another woman.

 

Additionally, self serving hypocritical "protective" Relational Bullies, whatever the relationship, if, indeed, any, must be consistently quashed as pests, never whatsoever appeased or validated as Philanthropists, leaders, or self appointed gate keepers. Comparisons to the Taliban may also be make apt and topical counter propaganda. Those Yahoos for Mohamed who once protected the fragile flower of Islamic womanhood within the walls of the Harem. Or else raped her if she dared set foot out on the streets, even to shop for groceries! 

 

How, then, shall the Devil cast out the Devil? How can a woman's fear wielded by one man insinuating himself truly allay the same woman's fear of another man introducing himself? How can the wolves be trusted to guard the chicken coop? Such is not public service, but intimidation. And the vilification of rivals must be regarded with some skepticism. Because Yahoos may even actually welcome and reverence the truly threatening suitor in their midst, and only drive off the nice ones. 

Thus female by standers can be raised in genuine Feminist consciousness, educated by such a demonstration, that the deplorable and thinly veiled terror tactics of intimidation of unasked "protection", overtly traditional or pseudo-Feminist, can be trumped by complete public scorn and ridicule to destroy the credibility of bullies utterly reliant upon the validation of helpless damsels, and even to establish dominance over those bullies. Because bogus knight errants, lingering acquaintances or even complete strangers out of the blue! need but the most tacit approval, consent read into horrified frozen shocked silence then never disabused, of their female targets of opportunity. Control of women depends upon silencing women. And any silenced will do.

 

Therefore, even simply walking away in disgust is not enough, because the bully, acting out motivated by jealous rage, has still thereby achieved the primary goal, even if never openly put forth, of disrupting contact and effective networking among others, even if they do not win the prize for themselves thereby. If a clique can filter a woman's social connectivity, then she becomes the better accessable to them, exclusively, by elimination.

 

Such terrified ambiguity as serves Relational Bullying in any sexual politics context is best avoidable when women are answerable for themselves. And nothing will embarrass the "protective" bogus knight errant bully more than accruing the reverse of the desired result, should the woman even defend the scapegiated primary target of bullying.

 

Or, to maximize public disgrace of the bully, to apologize, mortified, to  the target of bullying for what they have just endured, and to glare hatefully at the bullies, exuding both sexually and rejection. And then, to follow up and maximize damaging disgrace heaped upon the bullying clique as they attempt strategic withdrawal and face saving. Ongoing counterpropaganda dissemination must ensue there after. Repeat process at every opportunity.

Worse, should she erroneously judge the target of disruptive bullying, mistaking the vulgar bullies as the company that he'd ever keep by prefer ace or by any free choice whatsoever!

Because all such acting out presents a thinly veiled threat against a woman's reputation, unless she "cries rape" over nothing at all, or silently and irresponsibly (and with eagerly awarded impunity!) allows others to do so on her behalf, usurping her autonomy in the name of her privacy. (That is, if she is even consulted or informed. Or even actually exists! Evil gossip is seldom subject to error checking. And, again, the purported privacy of any offended party and fragile flower of femininity may be accorded priority over any rights of the accused.) An ongoing threat of instability, violence, even Sexual Harassment and assault, should women dare at any a forbidden exogamic contact what so ever. Such is the standard overture to exploitation, having demonized competition and even the very principle of free choice. 

 

Better to be "rescued" and accepted even so conditionally than to be unjustly blamed, tabooed, branded and denounced as a slut! It's a classic prisoner's dilemma in the Battle of the Sexes consistently exploited by conniving and unfeeling bullies, mirroring what so many are already conditioned to by the experience and observation of dysfunctional family. Worse, still, when the lure of acceptance at all is only sucker bait, a set up for cruel rejection. But such tactics of their own deliberately reduced use value are often precisely how the consequently even paradoxically despised popular often create artificial scarcity to inflate their own exchange value. Clique Busters aims at orchestrated collusion towards sexual liberation, instead. 

 

In a pinch, bullies, who, with impunity, do everything and worse that they ever falsely accuse anyone else, can just invent often picayune fraudulent complaints and even fragile anonymized or utterly fictional nonexistent damsels in distress out of thin air! Because women are all too consistently bullied into silence and conflict aversion. And, in classic confidence trickery, this is then called "privacy", all "for their own good". All despite the simple truth that anyone living in the fear of constant peer scrutiny of their private lives actually enjoys precious little real sense of privacy. And no one is ever expected to double check malicious gossip. No matter how vague, suspect, or damaging. 

 

Truth and justice are not even values in play. Cliquish Bullyspeak side steps all questions of fairness and objective reality in favor of mealy mouthed consensus manipulation and omni-purpose nonspecific taboo.

 

Lying hypocritical self-serving Pursuer-Rescuer Relational Bullying is no deterrent to actual Sexual Harassment. Because Pursuer-Rescuer, in and of itself, is either Sexual-Harassment or Anti-Sex harassment, against both the "rescued" and the "rescued from" who will typically be either a competitor male, a scapegiated target of bullying, or simply a target of opportunity. Even if the power abused by the bogus knight-errant bully may be unofficial or even a complete bluff of intimidation and shock values! 

 

And it seems somewhat unlikely that the cowardly Relational Bullies acting out chronic jealous rage, will ever find either the courage or the compassion for genuine intervention in any real danger or abuse, which is, in actuality, their protected privilege of the powerful and connected behind the veil of secrecy and hypocrisy. 

 

All of this is why it is especially important to thwart and to expose all Pursuer-Rescuer type Relational Bullying in action, and so help to preserve freedom of association compromised by the imposition of cliquishness. Healthy interaction in plain site is crucial to showing the abused that they have alternatives. And so, naturally, cliques of bullies will always want to run the only game in town. 

Whereas, in accounting for ones own behavior, the tendency is exactly the reverse, explaining away behavior situationally rather than confronting character. Particularly, we often attribute our successes to talent and ability, but our failures to circumstance!

Excuses and justifications enjoy the awkward position of being ‘universally condemned while being universally used’ (Schlenker, Pontari, & Christopher, 2001, p. 15). Central to the new notion of criminal thinking or the criminal personality is that, ‘Criminals do not think like law-abiding prosocial people’ (Sharp, 2000, p. 2). Yet, the psychological literature on excuse making is clear that taking full responsibility for every personal failing does not make a person normal, it makes them extraordinary – and possibly at risk of mental illness.

 

P6 Rethinking cognitive distortions  

The Reactive Victim's opposition to any responsible attitude of Critical Thinking, the Reactive Victim's very refusal to accept the genuine existence or very possibility and sincerity of the attitude of Critical Thinking, consists of two principle elements; first, by subjectivity unrestrained, poor self-knowledge, by the projection of their own response into whatever deed or statement itself, and second, by the Ad Hominem imputation of or appeal to motive. (That's like saying that the potential stomach ache is actually contained in the very essence of the food, and also that the chef did it on purpose. Whereas, plainly, a stomach ache is a unique reaction to the food of the organism that ate it, and though likely causally linked, nevertheless distinct from the particular substance and composition of the food itself, as are whatever intentions of the chef.)

From the Anti-Critical Bias of the Reactive Victim arises the dysfunctional social expectations of taboo, peer pressure and guilt tripping emotional black mail, wherein any question may be begged, but dare not be asked, for fear of giving offence or hurting the other's feelings. After all, even bullies have feelings. And calling bullies to task is insensitive to their feelings! And exactly this is how Politically Correct demands for sensitivity are used to rationalize oppression by conniving bullies unopposed by timid silent social loafing apathetic bystanders lacking the assertiveness to be more direct and honest.

Best for the attitudes of Critical Thinking, is genuine interest, even amid the most heated disagreement. For there are no values without honest truthfulness, first, before even tender compassion. Sugar coating and sidestepping the issues is seldom really the caring thing to do. Let never even the most artful tact take precedent before fundamental honesty. All of these values must be cultivated, but can never be extorted. And to protect free speech in the meantime, serious criticism, no matter how harsh, must be distinct from abuse, by objective criteria of pertinence rather than irrelevant hostility, of signal to noise ratio.

• Do the claimant's personal beliefs and biases drive the conclusions, or vice versa?
• How reliable is the source of any whatever claim?
• Is the original source of whatever claims even known?
• Does this source often make similar claims?
• Are the claims consistent or inconsistent? Internal logical consistency? Consistency with observable evidence? Consistency with evident motivation? Consistency with prevailing hearsay? Consistency with ideology? Are implicit standards and expectations the same towards different people?
• Have the claims been independently verified by another source? Can corroboration, if any, truly be considered independent?

In plot, "unity of action," Sequence and Logic, but according to the Zen, distinctly from dharma, dealing in morally neutral physical problems and classifications of causality, karma is the psychological and sociological causality pertaining to human interaction, neither so universal nor measurable as to qualify as an actual physical law, yet nevertheless, the highly consistent and observable tendency for good effects to result from good causes: skill, prudence and benevolence, and bad effects to result from bad causes: malice, incompetence and stupidity. A rational percept of compassionate responsibility grounded in foreseeable consequence, taken no less seriously in Judeo-Christian thinking. -In modern terms and context, that bullying is unsafe. And this is in no way limited to such abuse as violence and harassment outright, but applies to the entire range of underhanded Relational Bullying and even ordinary thoughtlessness, all profoundly karmic.

When a cult-like clique of bullies engages in mass opinion making, building themselves up and targeting scapegiats and rivals for defamation and the entire syndrome of "mobbing" and shunning ostracism and isolation via ongoing Relational Bullying, such cliques of bullies only disseminates selected (dis)information at such time and circumstance as they choose, and lead the target of propaganda indoctrination along in a group environment they control, so that one never is availed of any opportunity to look too closely at the big picture, particularly such that no one in their right mind and good conscience could ever fall for!

No less than any emotional vulnerability, such uncritical acceptance as above once achieved may tend to leave one vulnerable to well known and standard Methods Used in Brainwashing.