The following, alas, is still only a proposal. No claims or promises are expressed or implied.
In the words of Bonnie Wasmund “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” But it doesn't even have to be how you made them feel, but sentiment, emotion they may themselves associate with you in their own minds, subjectively, no matter what you ever actually do or say. Alas, to quote Elbert Hubbard: “Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.” Indeed how you make them feel, their response to the stimulus of your very existence, often consists of the sensations from recollection of receiving malicious gossip from others behind your back, or even from cunning deflection, meaning how their feelings where manipulatively conditioned, partially as by display or implicit threat of shame, in your presence or otherwise by whatever association entirely in their own minds from whatever their own motives and values. Because people gain impressions not only from what others do, but how those others are treated by others still. Indeed, people are intimidated, manipulated and coerced, even traumatized, not only by whatever harm comes to them personally, but what they see happening to others, not only by how one is treated oneself, but the treatment of others as witnessed, heard of, or even darkly hinted at. Especially in coordinated collusion of peer pressure, the sly triggering of such fearful approval seeking motivations socially, affords ready and significant control, especially of people howsoever lacking the autonomy for owning their own feelings in order ever to break the spell of cognitive dissonance, confusion and intimidation, the backbone of heteronymous behavioral structure. Such is the covert relational hostility of serial bullying, along with the conniving logistics of calculating ostracism, engineered social isolation and ongoing disruption, all well coordinated and facilitated by cliquish cronyism, perpetual endemic petty conspiracy.
Alas that people who will readily believe one another about getting mugged or worse, balk incredulously at the seemingly paranoid tales of the even well documented and fully understood repertoire of typical conniving collusion by hardcore serial bullies. Taboo often serves as an heteronymous reinforcing mechanism of hypocrisy, denial, manipulation, coercion, oppression and persecution. Damaging malicious gossip in rationalization of abuse of power, is often laden with innuendo and taboo. Moreover, despite all recent progress and breakthroughs in public consciousness raising, the issue of serial bullying also remains shrouded in denial and targets of serial abuse, tending towards anxiety, depression and defeated retreat already, are still exploitatively conditioned and indoctrinated into learned helpless passivity like unto little angels, because that is more convenient to those in authority.
Particularly, the central idea of CliqueBusters being the very topic of fighting back in any way at all, change from the bottom up, especially by low guile, covert or clandestine operation no matter how stringently moral and utterly non violent, especially without the cooperation of whatever authorities if any, and who, after all, are so often very much part of the problem, remains deeply taboo from all discussion. Bullies heteronymously tend towards highly developed social intelligence and tight cronyism, perhaps in compensation for such extreme deficiency in emotional intelligence. But perhaps outright bullying must be regarded as the extreme end upon a continuum of oppression and conflict, petty abuse of power, overt and covert relational hostility, adversative memetics, negative communication in social networks and peer pressure that has increasingly rendered social life ever more cowardly and paranoid tenuous experience of working behind enemy lines.
Covert relational hostility is like unto the steady invasion of a stealthy occupying army, everywhere one might turn driving out all hope of human connection. The target of bullying with no recourse or channel of communication to question, rebut or protest, is left defenseless against every slander of malicious gossip campaigns that come to fill the information vacuum. With the social isolation of their target, bullies gain all the more impunity for all manner of abuse and harassment, even organized group stalking. The steady ongoing elimination of all competition allows oppressive bullies and cronies to assume and consolidate ever more power within the community. Bullying is immeasurably disruptive and destructive, presenting an ever clear and present danger.
And what is most taboo, is the truth, reality, the actual unspoken functional social expectations, the subtext of social integration, ranging between timid heteronomy at the one extreme, to the other extreme of whatever is genuinely entailed in toughening up as they used to say, before all of that became politically incorrect, to wit, yes, those unspoken expectations, the taboo social skills consisting of any credible threat by whatever means, indeed if not the exercise of physical violence in demonstration thereof, then via subtext, the nonverbal expression and body language of solidarity in the will thereto. All of these obscure confused conflicting and morally ambiguous expectations, such momentous and fateful life options and dilemmas, all need urgently to be respectfully and openly discussed in good faith sensemaking in order to be rendered intelligibly transparent once and all and at long last.
According to 'Caught between Stages: Relational Aggression Emerging as a Developmental Advance in At-Risk Preschoolers': Not only are bullies more popular, but "children with average or above average social skills were also significantly more aggressive--both relationally aggressive and overtly aggressive, which was not true for children with below average social skills." The implication from the very title is that this correlation might be transitional in development, an early phase to be grown out of. Not so. Bullying remains correlated with popularity even into higher education and beyond.
After all, bullying is clearly advantageous in every social context. Perhaps the ugly truth is that the most repugnant overt and relational tactics of hostility and abuse, or at minimum the sheer credible threat thereof that promotes and preserves social standing, all together constitute an even crucial social skills set that is quite taboo, absent from all deliberations and considerations of heteronymously goody two-shoes social skills remediation.
Domineering people so often extol the adaptive virtue of submission. But in the real world, how much of social skills are about even submissively reducing friction in order to get along, or to be at all more mature, in seeking honorable compromise, and how much are about aggression and dominance by any means necessary or utterly gratuitous, even hostility and cruelty, all in rugged competition for the fear and hierarchical standing that substitutes for and renders so inconceivable, any glimmer of genuine respect? The latter amoral Darwinian scenario, left to one's own devices before the savage law of the jungle, has thankfully become politically incorrect. Of course what is really missing from the equation in order curtail hostility, cruelty and abuse, is courageous autonomy and the moral sense of fair play that is ultimately so dangerous to any petty authoritarian power. Hence, instead, such willful dereliction and neglect in the face of such divisive constant petty strife, the incessant demand for sheeple compliance from the most oppressed, but never simple justice and responsible democracy. The system predicated upon bullying is ever loath to combat bullying, and the anti-bullying movement is intrinsically a cultural overture to democracy.
Alas however, even aggravated and frustrated school teachers griping and exhorting return to the corporeal punishment administered with the paddle out in the woodshed, because they are only venting and know full well that isn't serious, balk at such completely nonviolent alternative concepts as CliqueBusters, because that opens feasible possibilities, risk and responsibility and democracy anathema to heteronomy.
Serial bullying is repeated abusive expression and/or action, whether howsoever overt or devious and clandestine, directed so as to harm to the target, place them in reasonable (not histrionic or trumped up) fear of harm, infringement upon the rights that disrupts their lives or creates a hostile social environment permeated with threat, intimidation, ridicule, or insult that is so severe or pervasive as to produce any of the aforementioned effects. Indeed, retaliation is any form of intimidation, reprisal, or harassment directed against any who would howsoever support or include a target of bullying and exclusion. And civility is the inculcation of a social contract of shared values never to enable but to continually resist, suppress, expose and undermine all serial bullying and to protect individual rights. CliqueBusters is conceived as ongoing bystander promotion and intervention of guerilla Transactional Antithesis in service of civility.
Being made so unwelcome is lonely and frightening. And it's far more and worse than the petty irritation from the presence of petty individuals best ignored. Such is but the foreshadow! Bullying with such impunity, backbiting, covert relational hostility, ostracism, orchestrated harassment and even organized group stalking, can be so utterly and completely socially disruptive, even not entirely unlike, indeed at all analogous to, actual homelessness. For social support as ever may remain amongst the foremost predicate of capability and success, hence deficiency or mismatch to whatever actual needs, of social support, let alone ongoing virulent assault and sabotage, the very recipe for failure in every aspect of life.
Manifestation of hostility, individual or collective alike, generally progresses with impunity, through verbal abuse, calumny and acts of humiliation, to non cooperation, abuse of power, violation of civil rights, and finally increasingly overt threat, all typically rationalized by whatever victim blaming petty innuendo and mean spirit. The awkward stigma and suffering of outcast state, social isolation, unpopularity, even involuntary celibacy, is typically most roundly mocked and virulently reviled by the very serial Relational Bullies and relentless character assassins who so often deliberately cause or exacerbate the problem in the first place with such utter impunity. Of course they will resent the target of bullying the more should nevertheless they ever succeed than when they fail. The violation that is serial bullying, the degrading, distinctly uncivil demeaning and destructive situation of persistent ongoing abuse in a hostile social environment with complete impunity and no recognition in practice and recourse to upholding individual standing, autonomy, rights, joy, opportunity, safety and intrinsic worth, actingout contempt and inequality thereby, replete with the common place of victim blaming and scapegoating, even quasi-legislatively validating cruelty as an entitlement and amoral Sadistic superiority, breaches and shatters dignity to the core and engenders the traumatic distress of Existential helplessness defined as the shattering despair of utter dependency upon others surrounding and entirely bereft of trust and hope therein. The Three stages of Stress ensue, from alarm through helpless perseverance, but ultimately only into physical and emotional depletion and collapse.
Woody Allen said that “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” But not for targeted individuals of serial bullying and ostracism. It's worse than invisibility! However shrouded in taboo, the adversative memetics of covert relational hostility and peer abuse, flagrant abuse of power, injustice, social ostracism, malicious gossip, orchestrated harassment and cockblocking are all predatory civil rights violations under USC 18 Section 241 and profoundly destructive. Even under whatever sly hypocritical lunatic persecutory vigilante pretext of combating howsoever vaguely demonized mythically threatening undesirables, eccentrics, dissidents, vulnerable socially awkward targets of opportunity, often our best and brightest, the manipulatively devious actingout of cliquish bullying is relentlessly divisive, abusive, corrosive and corrupting, sexually and emotionally exploitative, and above all: anticompetitive intimidation, heteronomy and conformity. Cliquish bullies are the kind of people who feel most deeply that life just isn't fair unless they have everything, and everyone else has nothing. And their practiced proficiency is in nothing less than routine dominance and the monopolization of opportunity in every aspect of life, the control of social interconnection for every purpose. -yes, especially sex.
Peacefully dealing with incompatible people is crucial to living in a society. Arguably, dealing with people you can't stand may constitute the very definition of society as we have ever known it, different people with opposite tastes and conflicting personalities one way or another pressed together and somehow cooperating, often through gritted teeth, in any balance of hard bargaining and reciprocity. Exactly such true to life drama often demands if not self control and deference on the part of oneself and others, then any credible threat to keep them at bay, be that of effective personal vengeance, concerted mutual protection or even due process for all, depending upon upon fictional genre or actual situation.
But in the absence of any such restraining compunction or deterrent at all, there is only antisocial abusive impunity, bullying and submission thereto. We the bullied, are not without responsibility to network, to learn how, to stand together and organize, from such contact as we do, indeed, establish, despite all the most perfidiously orchestrated harassment and covert relational hostility. Let's toughen up, like they used to tell us, and then make them eat their callous words and repent that good advice!
A serious and just response to bullying in any social context, must explicitly recognize that while bullies may indeed sometimes bully one another, no, it does not actually "take two to tango." Indeed, in the words of Gustav Vasa: "One does not have peace longer than one's neighbour wants." And the bully is the obvious aggressor. A serious response to bullying must therefore reject willfully blind Pollyanna sweet reason and negotiation so ineffective against unreasonable bullies, and reject the utter denial, scapegoating and victim blaming that inevitably accrues. A serious response to bullying must reject entirely linkage of howsoever remediation of human imperfection with upholdance of such civil rights as freedom from bullying. A serious response to bullying must recognize that bullying is impossible to adapt to, and that while self improvement is laudable, such may nevertheless remain questionable as a response to bullying. Obviously, self improvement is better served by first providing a safe environment, free from bullying. And for that matter, a beleaguered target of bullying howsoever simply reacting even a little strangely, as manifesting inner conflict under pressure to peacefully endure adversity, or even struggling at all to object, resist or protest, is not thereby "asking for it." Indeed, any decent humane perspective upon bullying must at long last the extreme grace under fire of targets of bullying, who's forbearance the bullies routinely exploit.
Bullies no less readily exploit cognitive
dissonance, cowardice and complicity in others.
If and no sooner do bullies successfully drive out their targets of bullying,
then the bullies, emboldened by the malleability of whatever
authorities, and at a lose end with out their former target of bullying to
torment with impunity, then only the more brazen, not only quickly designate
new targets of bullying, but escalate not only the severity of
abuse but also the very stakes.
Indeed, cronyistic cliques of
bullies with impunity, are
intensely attractive to ever
more criminal and psychiatrically disturbed destructive elements. For as Winston
Churchill well admonished: appeasers never prosper.
And mollifying bullies with
is like calming sharks by chumming the waters.
A serious response to bullying must then recognize the inadequacy of goody two-shoes social skills remediation directed towards reducing whatever howsoever premised supposed elicitation of bullying on the part of targets of bullying. An effective and just response to bullying must uphold individual rights, differences, limitations, nuance, eccentricities and foibles, let alone talents as may inspire envy and virtues that accrue resentment from serial bullies and their apologists, while deploring all that amounts to treatment of dissidence, especially all Behavioral Modification no matter how "Cognitive," for targets bullying, as willful malpractice, being a'priori abrogation of Freud's injunction against suggestion that is the core Medical Ethic of Psychotherapy. The proper focus instead should be upon stopping the bullies from bullying and pressing the salient question: Just what will that take, really?
A serious, effective and just response to bullying must acknowledge as has become expert consensus in the anti-bullying community, that bullying unexposed and unpunished persists, and therefore recognize that appropriate social aptitudes under conditions of hostility, one way or another may well include howsoever deterrent adversative memetics of credible threat in order ever to quell bullying. We must organize, radicalize and frame action agendas. Targets of bullying must no longer be pressed to become passive little angels and endure ongoing abuse simply in order to pander to craven public squeamishness with rising conflict. Loneliness has been discovered to propagate within social networks, when hurt and frustration manifest in malaise of reclusive withdrawal sour disposition that progressively renders others exposed similarly emotionally depressed, disagreeable and socially withdrawn. And of course, unresponsive or outright hostile social environments of ostracism and bullying are even more devastating both upon targeted individuals and what social networks remain accessible to them. Targets of bullying need to recover coherent organized coping ability, hope, and yes: the dignity that only inhabits aggression. We must fight back! Serious discourse in framing appropriate rules of engagement against bullying must reject and deplore all kneejerk scapegoating and victim blaming in craven characterization of resistance and conflict as merely vengeful on the part of targets of bullying. No, we must not merely sink to their level: This is war, and the primary overriding objective of war is nothing less than to destroy the enemy's ability to do harm. All else may remain open to discourse.
This electronic document, while serving as counterpropaganda polemic against the most slippery and disingenuous apologetics, malignant pretzel-logic, deliberately impenetrable Obscurantism, willfully helpless and repressive goody two-shoes Pacifism on the one hand or on the other hand, the most brazen baiting with sly victim blaming that outright panders to evil, indeed in the face of all such implacable resistance at all most generally to raise consciousness in regards to the pandemic menace of bullying, nevertheless the primary outreach herein remains for anyone genuinely exasperated enough to at all seriously consider to conspire with me in this, a modest proposal in guerilla social engineering more definaive and reliable societal resistance to protractedly escalating peer abuse! Beyond awareness and the sociological background information provided, there remains the dire need to come together, face reality, frankly assess the situation and at long last frame an adequate agenda, the need for an organization, broad based logistical support, a clearing house for reciprocal alliances to conduct innovative outreach and intervention. -Even by low guile without apology, by whatever non violent clandestine or covert action to ferret out, expose, denounce, ridicule, defuse, outmaneuver, disrupt and undermine bullying and to befriend and defend targets of bullying even from well organized and orchestrated harassment, covert relational hostility, isolation and ostracism with protractedly escalating syndromes of shunning and mobbing. ambient or stealth abuse, neglect, abuse of power and defamation. CliqueBusters is a proposal to come together and deploy a new and different intervention strategy for bullyproofing. Email me privately if it's sensitive, or post to the forum in order to engage public controversy! And not just about bullying in general, but preferably at all also about Clique Busters in specific, please.
First will be established the nature and motivation for bullying from it's ancient and natural advantages, then the destructive toll which bullying has always taken, then support for the worst case assumption, to whit, that existing recourse is all too often not adequate, indeed that the authorities, such as may exist, may actually worsen the problem. Finally will be proposed in a distinct paradigm shift, organizing in new and different ways, with a unique and distinct body of practices and procedures, to monitor, recognize and respond to bullying by new and innovative measures. -The justifiability all whereof will be duly questioned and then seriously addressed as it deserves to be.
There is a common dilemma in writing, that to omit background obscures by lack of context, while to include adequate and extensive background obscures by detracting from whatever central new idea. Worse, engaging against the craven weasely denials of apologists likewise feeds into their diversionary slight of hand, while, in the alternative, virulent lies uncontested stand and propagate unassailed in veracity and consequence. And so I regret to impose upon the reader to work their way through, finding whatever they need hopefully included, in order then to glean all that is crucial and central.
As an author finding ones own voice even identity and POV, Point Of View, beyond tone, syntax and structure alone, that is the moment, finally, of the lucid and vivid articulation of theme, gaining momentum and central clarity from whence all else unfolds smoothly and powerfully. Whereas to be relationally bullied, manipulated, confused, invalidated, isolated from social connection and robbed of ones voice, is classic reversal crushing unto despair.
George Orwell observed the difficulty in framing ones thoughts, when there is no one with whom to communicate them. By the Metaphor of newspeak, in '1984' Orwell also most famously noted how a culture in systematic denial may actually strip the very language of expression of whatever taboo ideas and observations. Indeed, by tracking the changes on this very page via the WayBack at archive.org, it can be seen how I have however awkwardly struggled to expose cockblocking before I knew that word, and likewise for slut shaming, both being after all simply instances of covert relational hostility, another very cogent term sometimes denounced in stubborn pretence that there is simply no such utter nonsense! But it is the reality that is crazy and crazy making.
For in the words of Thomas S. Szasz in 'The Myth of Mental Illness' New York: Harper & Row 1974. "This…is the essential communicational dilemma in which many weak or oppressed persons find themselves vis-à-vis those who are stronger or who oppress them: if they speak softly, they will not receive a hearing; if they raise their voices literally, they will be considered impertinent; and if they raise their voices metaphorically, they will be diagnosed as insane." - or, presumably, otherwise generally dismissed, or marginalized as however kooky or less than credible, often subject to the effective ostracism of social mockery and with utter impunity, even that which Sam Vaknin has dubbed: ambient or stealth abuse. In other words, the proverbial porridge will never be the just the right metaphorical temperature, but either too cool to raise alarm, or too scalding hot for good manners and the delicate comfort of powers that be of status quo ever turning a deaf ear. Indeed, all such efforts will generally only backfire one way or the other, given the power relations of bullying as they stand. Anyone no matter how graceful, considerate and forthright a mensch, may come to be treated as a pest or worse, purely because of the irresponsible awkward squeamish self serving hypocrites.
Even Gandhi in his heart privately endorsed war against the Nazis, much as he exploited the crisis to speed an end to British rule in India. After all, there is never really any question as to whether or not to resort to any measure, no matter how extreme, let alone anything the more measured and moderate, but only as to under what conceivable circumstances and as to whatever viable alternatives if any. Nonetheless: The two most enthusiastically positive email respondents to CliqueBusters, nevertheless would barely be pressed to acknowledge and simply and adamantly refused to discuss the central concept of open or even covert or clandestine even though utterly nonviolent intervention against bullying! One of the two in his own emotionally charged experience and reflection, resonated strongly with my prose, while the other greatly valued the insight and information resource.
For as Chen Yehezkely likes to point out, the most effusive praise for whatever comparative incidentals but deliberately blind and off target from whatever is revolutionary and that ought to be controversial, can be a far more frustrating and devious diversionary tactic away from taboo realization FNORD and instead for enforcement of taboo and truth suppression, even than any the most virulent condemnation, baiting and Appeals to Humor, Ridicule and Spite or social mockery, ostracism and persecution, as mad, foolish, stupid, unintelligible and pretentious. Indeed, another who found herself dealing with bullies, appreciated the insight from the information resource provided, but when pressed, resented my contention that we who are bullied bear any responsibility to discover any effective response in order to stand up for ourselves, and likewise refused to discuss the very idea, as did another who even found my prose strong and resonant with their own experience. But what was most sad was explaining to another abused and vulnerable soul that no such organization as CliqueBusters as yet exists to protect them. For even after all this time, CliqueBusters remains merely a proposal.
Alas instead how typical weak and passive advice the likes of Be Bully Free - Tips & Tricks is frequently proffered, coming too little too late. Conflict averse cowards have even sunk so far into bullyspeak apologetics as to complain that Clique Busters seeks to bully the bullies, thus sinking to their level, and that two wrongs don't make a right. I counter that the repertoire of Clique Busters techniques and responses are well within the conscience even of Pacifism, turning the tables, throwing the curve ball, playing the Transactional Antithesis, subversively elevating with justice, the mimesis of the bullies from scapegoating into a valuable morality play upon civility. And even then, as intended only for deployment given the failure of compassion, sweet reason and peace making, and as an alternative to the scapegoating, victim blaming and breakdown, conditioning of victims to passivity which so often follows, when there is a failure to stand up to unreasonable bullies who depend upon opposition being so completely wishy-washy.
The very first thing anyone
ever pays attention to as an infant and later a young child is whatever one
needs to survive in physical
reality. Indeed, the very first lesson you learnt,
was that your survival depended upon others. Specifically, you learnt what to do
(and later, to say) in order to get what you needed. You learnt that when others
approved of you, they would nurture you. When they disapproved of you, they
would withdraw that nurturing.
You learnt to pay attention to whatever gave you the ability to control your environment. You discovered what made your care-givers pay attention to you and give you what you wanted. Later you learnt what you could do to get what you wanted on your own: grasp, reach, crawl, walk and so forth.
The basic need to survive focused your attention on whatever would aid the process of receiving approval and control. In turn, then others molded not only behavior, but even perception and world view.
When it comes to reaching out to others, there is always the direct approach to simply court whomever the other personally. Or, indeed, another indirect and even somewhat devious strategy, or courtship display, especially if one is adept at socializing and can make oneself the center of attention, is to join in with the peer group of another, and pay most of one's attention to them especially if they are of the other sex, so that they will pay attention in return; for the attention of the peer group must impress the other of the advantages in association, and also must illicit envy in the whomever the other so that they will become desirous of one's attention and therefore pay one better attention. Either way, however, there are the pitfalls of jealousy and hostility from whatever competing vested interests, cliques of hypocritical self serving bullies, unless one discerns and pays whatever their sycophantic price of collusion to ingratiate oneself and/or/else can adequately intimidate them.
Otherwise, that is why so many work so hard simply to blend in and escape notice rather than to shine. In the immortal words of Margret Mead: “Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.” For such are the incentives and disincentives, reward and punishment, to condition people that they will yearn to belong the group, when it is actually more directly interpersonal relationship, friendship, that they are really desperate for. -To crush all misfits and dissidents and render the masses attachment disordered but socially skilled, sacrificing deeper and genuine robust and healthy autonomous social development essential to freedom in favor of conformist and heteronymous socialization in an ongoing program inculcated under the Inductivism of what passes for education, with the effect of better recruitment in the preservation of status quo by the eager and ubiquitous Fifth Columns of the Reactionaries even within ostensibly or nominally open and democratic society, wherein more straightforward and pervasive blatantly dictatorial brutality will be unacceptable but tactics of, for all intents and purposes, injurious participatory mass brainwash are normal, even banal.
Of course they may be such a bunch of utter pussies, full of feeble excuses for such pliant and ineffectual resignation, but perhaps they see the world as it is: The notorious dicks pussies and assholes soliloquy consists by far of the most memorable lines from 'Team America' in such opportune parody of cynical action adventure movie pandering propaganda. Alas however, that in truth, only the most complete drunken pussy would ever actually exhort reliance upon dicks to fuck assholes. And yes, after all, dicks do tend to be found in position actually only for being welded by assholes shitting all over everything, just not the assholes that get behind such utter rank steaming pussies. And weak stomachs, dwelling upon the entire odious stench, so ineffectually elevated only just barely so above assholes, pussies and dicks, can only find any other outlet the arduously longer way out, in helpless poorly targeted Existential nausea and disgust. But a least that's an upward momentum.
In all things, the substance beyond mere form, the dynamic and flexible social engineering principles, personal WhistleBlowing, good sportsmanship and responsible values of rational democratic progress are systematic doubt, hope in the honest embrace of fallibility and tolerance for uncertainty, substantive discourse, debate of disputes, criticism without punishment and no insult taken, free inquiry into problems openly and publicly without fear of punishment, indeed, open unfounded speculation about different case scenarios pursuant to any number of varied and different proposed measures, without need of conforming or in any way limiting said speculations to any accepted quasi-official position.
The veryvalues and aptitudes ever fostered in brainstorming!
Civilized adversarial systems and healthy attitudes, formal or informal, that are the bulwark of our precious freedoms, are predicated upon systematic doubt. But the antiseptic and dehumanizing demands pressed by blind loyalty and faith of conformity and compliance, crushing, silencing, excluding or marginalizing all oppositional protest as a matter of course, either preclude entirely or eviscerate and enfeeble, all doubt and curiosity at all, whatsoever.
As appetite or disposition, beyond the debased pandering fantasy and voyeurism of prurient gossip, real curiosity promotes meaningful attachment, not only exploration and learning, but connection, empathy, care, concern, compassion, much as, beyond bitter insularity, sheer credulity promotes not only Criticality but justice and fairness, all of which are excluded by utter indifference, plain cowardice and approval seeking conformism. Autonomy, responsible risk management, creativity, curiosity about reality and individuals easily comes into conflict on every level, with adaptation, risk phobic attentiveness to social cues upon which so much depends, that must so often guard itself from curiosity, compassion and conscience, instead promoting bigoted prejudgment, irresponsibility and malice by rendering impunity for jealous rage.
Bullying must be predicated, one way or another, if not upon captivity or restriction in one sense or another, then manipulation, somehow getting sucked in against better judgment, indeed, as individuals, in life, are routinely drawn into freedom inhibiting interaction patterns, interpersonally and with the larger social environment and institutions. And whatever theoretically wider freedom of choice offered will tend to be actually encumbered (both by bureaucracy outright and simple lack of facilitation or logistical support) with user unfriendly bewildering and unmanageable complexity as to render it practically speaking, unavailable to most people, all but the most socially capable and steady nerved, regardless of real talent and ability.
would choose to endure such
of shunning and
bullying and abuse? And the damage should never be
underestimated or taken for granted. And yet what is omitted from 'Complex
PTSD A National Center for PTSD Fact Sheet' is even mention of the harm resulting
even from constant low level stress, let alone anything any more harrowing
ambient or stealth abuse,
never mind only the very worst life and
death ordeals. And so it should come as little surprise that the
conditions of captivity listed in 'Complex
PTSD A National Center for PTSD Fact Sheet' are woefully incomplete:
To begin with, at whatever whim of fate, we are each and all disgorged helpless into a condition of captivity by dependency, the family, better or worse, invariably dysfunctional to some degree, a misfortune only to be summarily compounded by yet more demeaning conditions of captivity and unremitting constant low level stress, particularly in education and employment.
"Birth, School, Work, Death"
Hence, another description of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder might be life itself, the human condition as we know it. Because, in nature, more often than not, happiness is but an empty and unlikely hope existing only to perpetuate struggle. In the alternative, whatever idealistic notions of happiness and dignity are unnatural, either democratic and historically recent, belonging to the technologically Industrialized World, or else embodying whatever untenable nostalgia for mythic innocence.
Maslow's famous "Pyramid"
Hierarchy of Needs begins with sheer biological life support plus amenities.
Alienation and helplessness already begin to undermine safety and security
concerns that not only project all such immediate practical concerns into the
uncertain future, but also encompass the reassurance of defense, care and
nurture. But alienation is even more obstructive to social needs along with
those of self esteem and self actualization.
The two possible active means to security, or else actual threat thereto, are either the self or others, society, which brings us to the social needs. The social needs are connection, love, sex and respect, or failing that, their manipulative counterfeit of conditionality and helpless exploitation. Against which self esteem, as we have seen, also a function of the same drive for security, is fulfillable only by empowerment, control over one's environment, and, the more so, self-actualization is also empowerment, peak experience of fulfillment by true vocation, towards realization of full potential, investigation, knowing and understanding, creativity, motivated goals ever put forth and causes. Hence, in actuality, true love and respect must empower, if not whatever lofty pinnacle of self-actualization, then at least functional autonomy. Indeed, all self realizing true vocation, investigation, creativity, motivated goals ever put forth and causes, must somewhere and somehow aim at and relate to some manner of utility in the needs of the individual, in other words, clear added value to whatever specific target market(s). Or else they will be abstract beyond correspondence to reality! -Pointless obsession... Thus, social needs cannot neatly be met first, only then whetting some hither to dormant loftier apatite for self realization. For, clearly, alienation worms deeper than that.
Hence, depending upon variable tolerance for sheer petty conditionality as a price for security at all, many simply yearn and strive to fit in one way or another, while others in society who undergo positive maladjustment therefore aspire to autonomy. the free self-organization and administration of their own affairs from the bottom upward.
For alienation is the condition in which individuals find themselves at cross purposes with, and dominated by, forces and institutions of our own creation, driven by their own Monopolistic agendas, confronting the individual as overbearing, loveless, conditional, bullying, threatening and manipulative alien powers.
The dimensions of
meaninglessness, normlessness (anomie), social isolation, cultural
estrangement and self-estrangement.
Many conform as best they may. Many live in all manner of learned helplessness, frustrated denial and fantasy. Others still, only lash out, one way or another. But can there be any better free choice? That is the mission of FoolQuest.com, the struggle with unhappiness, against alienation and for self-actualization or at least freedom and autonomy, on various fronts. The Clique Busters concept, in specific, addresses the obstacles of conditionality and malice, continual and systematic abuse of power that is the very antithesis of self realization. In a nut shell, Clique Busters seeks to contend with bullying.
Gresham’s Law states that banality, the overwhelming volume of that which is either inherently of low quality or else poorly directed drives out that which is unique, of better value, or resources including effort and attention well focused.
In other words, that quantity can and does overwhelm quality. And this already profoundly impacts all evolutionary processes.
In short, fitness is not the same thing as excellence or arête. That evolution of whatever sort need not actually favor excellence. On the contrary, evolution may favor the easiest thing to be rather than the highest quality end product. There will always tend to be more iterations of the easiest thing, idea or person to be, as the most likely outcome. It's just Entropy.
So, if bad money does, indeed, drive out good, and if, likewise, dull repetitively inane vapid small talk ever does drown out novelty and value and thus bore silly and drive away potentially better contacts, then what less and how less deleterious can be the impact of maliciously deliberate pettiness upon our lives in driving out any hope of better at all?
What all this means, sadly, is that there is tremendous advantage in hypocrisy, being: the imposition of constrictive norms that diminish fitness to thrive and are difficult and costly for others to violate, but not you, and therefore we can easily and certainly anticipate Terrorism as a Means of self-actualization, the term here used to denote any savor in life, any sort of excellence in one's own experience thereof, especially by way of any sort of true productivity, and that just such self-actualization will always tend to come under assault one way or another unless adequately defended. The exception to that rule being where the easiest way to have anything good in life is concerned, namely to simply prey upon the vulnerable. After all, have we not all heard of the banality of evil?
As long as there is impunity and any motivation or incentive of any kind whatsoever to deviously take undue advantage by violating the rights of others, then a certain population percentage will deviously take undue advantage by violating the rights of others even routinely and consistently. Moreover, as proverbial birds of a feather indeed flocking together, drawn together in the eager exchange of malicious gossip by which to share and promote vulnerable targets of bullying, amoral sociopathic bullies network and collaborate in evil doing fairly readily. -Conspiracy indeed, but at the grass roots.
1 in 4 child bullies will grow to have a criminal record. Bullying and theft, violence and trickery of every kind, are only ancient and successful strategies in human society no less than in nature, especially toadying to the powerful while beating down and scapegoating the competition, the lowest common denominator appealed to by demagogues. Alas, there is no shortage of natural dedication and man-hours whole heartedly devoted to pettiness and sheer spite in this world. There is never a gap in volunteerism, so long it's for injustice and destruction.
Surely, if the Devil had to pay minimum wage, Hell would go bankrupt!
The rugged and transcendently self sufficient Ubermench remains a myth. In truth, the inferior tends to dominate the superior. Indeed, as the saying goes, no matter how bad you are, there will be someone who is worse simply because they think they are better.
The challenge in defense of personal individuality in life has always been not only to navigate another path as ever needed for whatever reason, but to establish social support and alternative supply chains, connections, alliance and defense. And it is the widespread failure to accomplish this, all things being equal let alone in the face of cliquish bullying, harassment and isolation, that perpetuates the crisis. Because, evidently, not everyone who ever feels alienated or finds themselves excluded, for whatever reason or under any circumstances, can rise all that well to such a challenge. Especially if one finds oneself actually hounded, one way or another.
Also, there may be any number of other separate problems and complications unaddressed to obstruct even whatever seems so practical and straightforward adaptation to others. Because life and people are like that. Indeed, any adaptation of an individual may seem, metaphorically speaking, like cutting the foot to fit the shoe, whereas, of course, it is the proverbial shoe that needs to fit for the comfort of the wearer.
What, then, is the alternative? Building cultures of respect, inclusive societies, on the basis of the highest principles and most functional empathy and attachment has never quite been accomplished.
And yet, so often, the approach to self help in social integration, even in the face of the most flagrant bullying, assumes that the key, so to speak, is already there to be found and turned. But, quite often, such helpful encouragement towards social adaptation fails for any number of reasons. And this suggests that such an approach might not be adequate in all cases, for any number of reasons, none the least being because there might not be any "key" lying around, as it where. Bullies do not need to be so reasonable, let alone kindly and accepting.
As Carl von Clausewitz warns us, “The aggressor is always peace-loving; he would prefer to [bully] unopposed.” They are the enemy, after all! And, as grand as it may be to befriend one's enemy, one's enemy will only be befriended should they so decide. Enemies can only really become friends first establishing peace. In the meantime, the enemy is no friend, and it is grave folly to behave otherwise and to surrender all initiative. After all: “A friend means well, even when he hurts you. But when an enemy puts his hand round your shoulder - watch out!” — Proverbs 27:6 Indeed, Sun Tzu observes that if the enemy seeks peace or opens negotiations unexpectedly, they are actually scheming, and that apology and humility likely just a delaying ploy playing for time and respite to regroup. Moreover: "To fail to take the battle to the enemy when your back is to the wall is to perish."
And so, the need for better strategy must be addressed. Including alternative supply chains, connections, alliance and mutual defense by which to intimidate bullies more reliably. Social Darwinism is unacceptable. But that's no excuse not to rise to the challenge thereof. Therefore, let us begin by confronting the Hobbesian ugly truth:
The niches of all opportunistic bullies, predators and parasites tend to be stable and lie along their path of least resistance. Such niches are provided by opportunity, the prey or host or target of bullying, purposefully or by chance, locating anyone who is vulnerable. Moreover, threat and manipulation tend to eventually render one or another distraught and vulnerable target's responses even the more amenable to predation, exploitation and parasitism.
Bullies are domineering, vengeful, Sadistic, and solve whatever their problems by overt violence and intimidation or other more covert destructive tactics. Bullies achieve recognition and respect, of a fashion, even if actually disliked and resented, through aggression, and naturally proliferate where dominance is tolerated if not valued and power struggle is the accepted way of things.
It is all too often observed that the successful make the rules to their own advantage and to keep the rest of us playing their looser game as their pawns and fools. Where naked mayhem and brutality can no longer stand, not mere coercion alone, but deception and misleading manipulation of others broadly, has become central to the organization of modern society, not only in politics but also in the economic relationships served.
Bullying is often classified as either strategic, a coercive means towards any self serving benefit or goal put forth, or else otherwise driven or motivated by character, whether by initiative or in response to whatever situation, opportunity or conflict as may ever arise. The principle types and tactics of bullying populating the bullying circle, are the violence and intimidation of Physical Bullies, most obviously, but also varying degrees of mimesis, while Verbal Bullies employ threats and abuse, the typically highly socially adept Relational Bully continually scheming and instigating to undermine and isolate the target of bullying socially, and no less deceptive or devious, the passive or covert aggressor, a coworker, collaborator or recruiter of any sort who sabotages, deceives or exploits the target of bullying by simple non cooperation, and Reactive Victims, ever manifesting the most blatant projection and constantly triggered by slights -real, exaggerated or entirely imagined. But, of course, rationalizations of grudge collecting are hardly uncommon in bullies unless, as often, they are just gloating Sadists outright, who tend to prefer scapegoating and victim blaming of whatever vulnerability of the target of bullying, singling out of the most trivial of difference and scapegoating rationalizations of invented threat to society and especially feminine "virtue" and other such typical taboo, also typical to the folly and sanctimonious abuse of power characteristic of the politician bully. Indeed, even while gaining impunity as bullies, mania and undue volatility even to the point of self-indulgence aside, or even simple over stress, as actual targets of deliberate bullying themselves, Reactive Victims may be resented the more for fighting back at all. Hence, fairness is not merely abrogated, but actually reversed! Indeed, the awkward stigma and suffering of outcast state, social isolation, unpopularity, even involuntary celibacy, is typically most roundly mocked and virulently reviled by the very serial Relational Bullies and relentless character assassins who so often deliberately cause or exacerbate the problem in the first place with such utter impunity.
Bullying is everywhere, as is abuse of power and victim blaming. And there may be no recourse. Indeed, whatever authorities if any at all, may be a part of the problem. Verbal harassment, in whatever circumstance or by whatever medium of transmission, includes name-calling, put downs and even Sexual Harassment and threats or via whatever devious orchestration, simply finding oneself drawn, haplessly and unwillingly, into all manner of unpleasantness. Physical bullying includes violence, physical intimidation, theft, vandalism and even sexual abuse. Slippery, covert, therefore often most difficult to recognize and deal with, Social or Relational Bullying includes ostracism, exclusion, shunning, and malicious gossip. Likewise elusive and covert, is sheer psychological intimidation: dirty looks, individual or often even collectively organized stalking, manipulation, unpredictable hostility. The target may wonder how much is real, and how much is only in their mind! And, one way or another, cyberbullying and flaming include just about anything short of physical violence (for obvious reasons), via email, on social networking sites or even malicious hacking and identity theft.
Also see: The 4 most-common workplace bullies and bully bosses
• Stopping the Bully Cycle
• Guide to bully types and tactics populating the bullying circle,
- the Psychodynamics of
When friendship is not good for your mental health
For an extreme and lethally violent example of how bullying stays prevalent, one need only consider how, as a matter of craven vested interest, opportunism, power and ambition, terrorists routinely murder not only the so called "moderates" within their own ranks and amide their affiliations, but also peaceful activists and protestors among their own constituents as "traitors" and sabotage perfectly competent peaceful demonstrations in order to turn them violent so that the terrorists can continue to hypocritically declare diplomacy a hopelessly lost cause leaving terror as last resort of the underdog!
All such tactics insure that destructive behavior gets more attention than constructive behavior, while victimized dissidents may despair of even being noticed to be helped. In the end, oppressive and hypocritical government officials often may far prefer to negotiate with criminal terrorists, the former demonized enemy magically turning statesmen and even nation builder, than to acknowledge, answer to and work with the struggling and oppressed or their Intellectuals.
And no one cares.
Indeed, every rabid running dog, every vicious foreign policy tool that ever seemingly bit the hand the feeds them, may eventually come round again in due course, and make themselves useful again, one way or another.
Cynical governments and political hacks by far prefer to embrace terrorists as statesmen and nation builders if it helps them to ignore and keep obscure legitimate peaceful pro-democratic activists and intellectuals who might actually improve conditions for the people. Bullies on the world stage may like to put on a great and deadly show of factional conflict, but it's all just a propaganda squeeze play, higher stakes mimesis, with protractedly escalating of syndromes of shunning and mobbing, ambient or stealth abuse. a cult con game to press the people into choosing up sides, however interchangeable, to make cannon fodder and exploit emotionally unbalanced suicidal would be martyrs.
Indeed, Che Guevara well understood the symbiosis behind oppositional violence, openly declaring in his writings that the whole point of insurgency and appalling acts of terrorism is, by that very threat and alarm, to enable the Fascists ever waiting in the wings to drive the government into heavy handedness, so as, in turn, and as the intended and desired end result, to radicalize the populace to be recruited into the Revolution. And, indeed, conversely, even fairly recent history teaches us that if terrorists do not exist, government conspirators will incubate them. Terrorism, then, may even be regarded as nothing more that a sort of violent sham opposition.
Moreover, by contrast, the truly progressive are conveniently easy to ignore in all the confusion. Once again, nice guys finish last!
Indeed, in many a context constructive behavior is often sabotaged and undermined, one way or another. Anti-competitive bullying is an unfair competitive advantage robbing the world of better alternatives.
Certainly bullies in the workplace, for a more common place and somewhat less lethal example, help to suppress superior innovation. Indeed, a common form of passive/aggressive covert/hostile bullying in the workplace or whatever context of collaborative effort, is simply stonewalling urgent memos, regardless of the cost or damage to the bottom line or whatever other motivated goals ever put forth in common. The classic toxic manager is well known for sabotaging the contribution of coworker targets of bullying and then to belittle their efforts. And even in grade school abusiveness is better rewarded with attention than any constructive accomplishment let alone the effort in the attempt or groundwork in the mean time.
"Writing comes more easily if you have something to say." to quote Sholem Asch. And while this may come as a good warning against triviality, it also happens that one can be stymied in addressing very important problems. And in such case, one must hope that one will be afforded at least the luxury of admitting it. Because that, at least, gives the writer something to say. One just such daunting problem is that of bullying.
To address grievances including bullying there is the administration at school and internal procedure and policy in the work place, plus Labor Union grievance process, all often more a part of the problem and a grinding ordeal besides, further breaking down the target of bullying and protractedly escalating of syndromes of shunning and mobbing, abuse, than any redress, only postponing and even subverting the final uncertain and costly ordeal of legal recourse. But the standard crocodile tears, facile helpless heartless "Arafat speak" and official victim blaming of scapegoats are all well documented at so many other anti-bullying websites, studies and literature. Suffice to add that attrition and manipulation into unilateral Soft Bargaining is known in Transactional Analysis as the "let's you be reasonable" Ulterior Transaction or headgame.
And aside from societally provided means of redress, there are only whatever personal resources and contacts of the individual, adequate to help intimidate bullies from targeting them. Or else not! After all, bullies tend to prey upon the more vulnerable and isolated. Indeed, the aim of exclusion by covert relational hostility is to sabotage the all important social connectivity of the target. In short, the reason that there cannot be a better resource guide for the bullied, against harassment and social isolation, is that there are more often than not, no resources to speak of!
That is why it is always far easier seeking to reach out and educate concerned employers, educators and officials in whatever authority, who therefore have any the wherewithal to fight such injustice as it arises, along with any motivation to help bully-proof the institutions in which they work, than to advise the actual hapless targets of bullying. Not to suggest, however, that the course is clear even for the authorities. 'Why Psychology is Failing to Solve the Problem of Bullying' offers perhaps a particularly alarming apologetics in defense of scapegoating and victim blaming of the bullied in school, well reasoned from true points, pointing out confusion in the various perspectives upon bullying, advocating the value of resilience and teaching to cope for oneself in life and arguing how encouraging students to report (dare not say: "rat out") bullying, and thence intervention can readily just incur fresh resentment and only escalate conflict. But instead of continually raising the stakes and to no avail, there is a more effective intervention unconsidered, infuriatingly mild, measured and consistent punishment, that so cunningly annihilates all the motivating social benefits that bullying accrues for bullies, effectively thwarts all further actingout of resentments, and patiently reshapes more constructive behavior:
Learn more about: The Playground Pass System.
Though Behavior Modification, the Playground Pass System is not manipulative. The coercion and disapproval are undisguised. And the sanctions are quite appropriate, given failure of sweet reason in defense of the bullied. Bullying thrives in neglect and secrecy. By so publically infantilizing the serial bully under such constant supervision, the punishment to fit the crime, the Playground Pass System inflicts the one harm that serial bullies cannot abide, by rendering bullies and bullying just so completely impotent and uncool! The bully stripped of power and seen by all in such humiliation and subject to mockery, stands to lose all popularity, standing, power and esteem that are the rewards motivating bullying to begin with. Bullies subject to Transactional Antithesis of the Playground Pass System quickly know that the administration respects the rights of students not to be bullied (at least not by fellow students) and unambiguously means business because bullies simply will not be free to bully, and so bullies then back down very quickly, even while the stakes remain fairly low.
Perhaps, in truth, bullying is tolerated precisely because bullying is so divisive, and thereby helps keep the student population so oppressed! Discipline, coercion, to motivate education, is a doomed enterprise, as well understood even from antiquity. But discipline should not be so neglected in protection of civil rights and keeping the peace. Too bad the Playground Pass System hasn't caught on more.
And alas that bullying in society at large, rather than just in such institutions of school and employment, remains even all the more under addressed, except for the special case of the persecution of minorities, hate crimes targeted against any recognized legal class. Legal action against bullying as discrimination, doesn't quite fit, and only wears down the complainant to no avail. It's just bass-akwards and won't fit! Only in Ireland, does the law classify even discrimination as merely bullying by class, a special case of bullying to begin with. Although, at least, throughout the Western world, the plight of those hounded, harassed and intimidated by a hostile threatening or even possibly violent neighbor, and even finally being forced to sell and move house, is finally beginning to come to light. And none too soon. Electronic harassment currently seems no more than a paranoid conspiracist urban myth. But, mark my words, it's only a matter of time before a particularly vicious neighbor bully resorts to belligerent ultrasound technology quite easily assembled entirely off the shelf from Radio Shack.
In society, institutions are
established to deal with various social problems. Institutions that adapt and
Busters, as proposed, is conceived as a different kind of
institution, a subversive counter-conspiracy rather than just an interest group or adjunct
to absent, failed or downright corrupted authority so rife with abuse of power.
The reasons for this are two fold:
First of all, because when it comes to bullying, the pertinent authorities are so often a major part of the problem in such formal context as school or employment, let alone world affairs. Or else, because there is often no particular authority to turn to in many informal social contexts when bullying is rampant. And so, absent constraint of civility, what then? CliqueBusters is conceived as an exploration of innovative new agency towards civility. But first taboo must be broken, and honest conversation undertaken.
After all, at any moment and under any circumstances, anyone may be pressed and cowed into hesitation and silence for fear that to speak up may reflect poorly, exercise futility, bring adverse consequences or even do harm. Aside from the ubiquitous problems of social loafing, bystander apathy, Anti-Critical Bias, cowardice lacking assertive honesty, function in the social network is simply inadequate to the needs of many people even in the lulls much less in their times of tribulation and struggle or the aftermath, and tends to be unresponsive simply from sheer inefficiency. The more so after social connectivity is damaged and subverted by scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility. As long as opportunity is tenuous to begin with, bullies can render the difficult impossible.
More over, it becomes clear that first socially isolating the target makes it far easier to lie convincingly, thus drastically increasing vulnerability to criminal exploitation, particularly fraud as well as violence and extortion. Indeed, by contrast, the most destructive people, of course, often seem to be so very well connected, all the time! Whether they are mean spirited socially prominent student cliques, spousal abusers, petty thugs, crooked cops or corporate lobbyists and public officials.
Alas, that we must all eke out survival support and pass the time in an indifferent universe, even from a hostile social environment. There is little choice. What say can have the invisible and the unloved? What debt is owed them and by whom? So who can criticize the passive indifference of sheer unfriendliness? And once the isolation of unpopularity sets in, what is there to check the steady progress of of shunning into active hostility of mobbing and ostracism? What have I ever done to you? -wonder the targets thereof. The answer: You exist. Worse, you don't take a hint when not so much as a hint is preferred! To escape notice, you should slink away and move on when you first feel the chill. And when we pursue, you must move on again. For you are marked.
Often, the targets of bullying are simply admonished to toughen up! Of course, that only means adaptation, one way or another, to the status quo. But bullying is intrinsically impossible to adapt to. That is the entire point! Rather, what is needed is to play hard ball and achieve real progress. To force the bullies to be tougher on themselves, and the less self indulgent with their hostile impulses and self serving abuse.
I respectfully submit that, victim blaming and scapegoating aside, good people often do very much need to take responsibility for our failure to seek some way to find and implement an adequate societal mode of connectivity, with it's own memetic propagation and it's own defenses, so as to become effective and competitive with the ancient and obscene advantages of dominance and predation. Because as things stand the current situation leaves all such advanced acquired traits as the enlightened and progressive so cherish, at a significant short term social Evolutionary disadvantage. And this is detrimental to all rational Humanist democratic social progress.
And so, the apologists for the bullies may even be correct in their excuses that it is the responsibility of the oppressed, exploited and forgotten to adapt. The question is whether those very traits which that we value can be adaptive to the threat they so often confront, rather than only a handicap of dissidence and principle that the cowardly intolerant conformists simply advocate be sacrificed for the sake of fitting in with status quo so that bullies, enablers and submissive victims can all effectively be recruited continually, thereby.
In other words, we want to be free, individual and good, but at all autonomous, without being helpless and vulnerable and of no use to ourselves or anyone else. In short, to bring under control the sacrifice of being true to oneself. To establish a more secure position. One aspect of predation, exploitation, dominance and bullying, is that they are proactive, responsive and benefit from connectivity and collusion. And that they subsume the society which they infest and propagate while marginalizing the competing opposition. Not only do predation and dominance propagate among the predators and oppressors, but oppression also propagates among the oppressed.
Indeed, much as not only predation and dominance propagate among the predators and oppressors, with oppression also propagating among the oppressed, likewise democracy, reason and tolerance must also propagate. Nothing can be taken for granted and fair play must be zealously enforced by moral suasion at all times. Alas, all too often, such will be an uphill struggle. Whatever can improve transmission of democracy, reason and tolerance would be as proactive, responsive, cooperative and enhance connectivity in some coherent manner, much as are predation, exploitation, dominance and bullying themselves, but without predation, exploitation, dominance and bullying, because, of course, that would be entirely purpose defeating.
Nevertheless, this hypothetical Memplex must be equipped with it's own defense, not only in the individual mind, but also within societal interaction. And so, it must also help to marginalize predation, exploitation, dominance and bullying, selectively non destructively enough not become or conform to the very predation, exploitation, dominance and bullying it seeks to oppose.
And this protective propensity in functional society has a name. It is called, civility. And civility is very nice when one can find it! Far to rarely, alas.
Nietzsche tended to view Altruism, morality, sympathy and responsibility, as an albatross, holding back the individual from self realization of freedom and autonomy. And there is no denying the personal sacrifice inherent in living by any moral principles at all. But it is through the workings of democratic values in society that moral constraint and compassion may actually aid and abet self realization. The only question is as to the feasibility of such a thing and the opportunity to overthrow the Post Modern Cynicism which Nietzsche foresaw and where in 'justice' signifies no more than the self serving interest of the stronger, exactly as the Sophist Thrasymachus asserts to Socrates in Plato's Dialogues.
Clique Busters is nothing other than how decent individuals in a truly civil society would respond to bullying.
To befriend the targets of harassment who need allies and also the targets being isolated by scheming and masterfully socially adept Relational Bullies, to organize response and openly scold, mock, heckle, thwart, kill-joy, and frustrate the bullies responsible and/or to covertly misdirect the bullies, even just to talk about what is going and what can and should be done about it with others at large in order best to raise outrage.
In the words of Benjamin Disraeli: “Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke.” Courage is indeed the inner fire of determination and conviction only given the opportunity, howsoever to confront even a dangerous and more powerful foe, such as a clique of bullies opportunistically preying upon howsoever the weaker. For bullying is full of devious and cowardly bluster and evasion, quickly intimidated and smoke quickly dissipated once the advantage turns or in the face of possible damaging exposure and liability. Likewise, the hysterically jealousy, lying, name-calling propaganda defamation and damaging innuendo leveled against scapegoats, potential romantic competitors, and other targets of bullying, and by which all such are marked for covert relational hostility and abuse, malicious gossip manufactured and proffered in Existential Validation of bullying, indeed is all smoke, dark narrative void of substance, morally, logically and Epistemologically, except for well practiced and coordinated manipulative threat into cognitive dissonance.
At any moment and under any circumstances, anyone may be pressed and cowed into hesitation and silence for fear that to speak up may reflect poorly, exercise futility, bring adverse consequences or even do harm. But the spell of social loafing and bystander apathy can actually be broken by the example and assertive honesty of even a single Good Samaritan, subverting the depraved mimesis of the bullies, and no less dramatically. -Which is actually important so that intervention is not simply by resented, in their dispirited amoral idle boredom, by the bystander audience as anticlimactic spoilsport and killjoy, but instead actually received and appreciated as a stirring appeal to participation in the uplifting renewal of civility reaffirmed. Bullies are a cliquish and cowardly lot!
Also to communicate,
strategize and prepare to foil bullies, whenever
malicious gossip reveals behind
itself, mean spirited conspiracy.
Indeed, because the forces of good are so thinly spread, the Clique Busters must actually go out looking for the opportunity, no less than do the bullies themselves. Clique Busters will be proactive, answering calls for help, and even reaching out to those in need unasked.
And such intervention constitutes vigilantism only as do all
random or not so random acts of kindness. -Vigilantism merely in
The low guile of Clique Busters, intelligence gathering, clique infiltration, and generally out foxing bullies, is necessary for taking the initiative back from the bullies,, finding solutions with the very problem, and turning their strengths to weaknesses. Both so crucial to victory, as Sun Tzu emphasizes. Just as bullies target their victims, the Clique Busters must defend known targets of bullying and scapegoats, and resist known bullies.
Another priority of Clique Busters, as with every good idea, must be to preserve the integrity of Clique Busters itself. Clique Busters is empowerment, but power must not be allowed to corrupt. Especially should the sort of bullies who pretend benevolence and even believe it themselves are ever attracted to join the Clique Busters! Therefore part of the mandate of Clique Busters must be the creation of protocols for maintenance of bully and bulling resistant social psychological health internal to Clique Busters, and adequate membership screening.
Possible options include sustaining Clique Busters as a Transactional Analysis social environment internally, and on the horizon the hopes of future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry.
In an untrustworthy society, everyone must tow the line in order to make connections and gain defensive allies in order to inspire fear in potential enemies. No one wants to be isolated and singled out. But genuine freedom of association requires that no one needs to be liked by everyone or feared by anyone. In the words of Adlai Ewing Stevenson: “A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.” Civility must be extend to all. Alas, this is all to rare.
The Youth Culture Awareness Main Page cites School Bully Report 4/00 :
A recent report issued by Duke University psychologists revealed that bullies are among the most popular boys in school from the fourth through sixth grade. The researchers surveyed teachers and male students in 59 classrooms from rural, suburban and inner-city schools in Chicago and North Carolina.. They explored the effect of bullying of classmates, which is often undetected or unpunished by school staff, on victims and innocent bystanders. Duke University psychologist Philip Rodkin, lead author of the study that was published in the January issue of Developmental Psychology and other psychologists worry that popular bullies may be less likely to change their behavior than unpopular bullies because it works so well for them. "These boys may internalize the idea that aggression, popularity and control naturally go together, and they may not hesitate to use physical aggression as a social strategy because it has always worked," Rodkin said. "But there will come a point in these boys' lives when this turns from an adaptive and fun to a lonely and potentially dangerous characteristic." Parents may also unwittingly contribute to the problem by accepting or even encouraging aggressive behavior as long as their children are popular, Fisher said.
• Developmental Victimology
But, clearly, the break down of the adaptation Rodkin is counting upon does not always so reliably come to pass. Because the time tested tactics and patterns of the serial bully remain viable, unchecked and even highly successful in all manner of adult social context, none the least of which are the work place and even, most alarmingly, world affairs.
Schoolyard bullies, after all, face a far greater statistical probability of growing up to become common criminals. Unless, of course, they are slick enough for Politics.
•Girl Talk: Why Do Girls Slut Shame Each Other? Answer: fear of competition
•voices From The Hellmouth from the Geek-Profiling dept.
•More from the Hellmouth: Kids tell about rage.
Screams from Society "The Student As Nigger" The Columbine Massacre Geeks R Us
The Case Against Schools Alienation In The Life Of Students WHY NERDS ARE UNPOPULAR
I myself have found flamers and character assassins Online as Offline so irksome, tiresome and repetitive that, in order to save time I have finally simply compiled a stock answers to their distortions and accusations, into The Completely Inane and tiresome Ad Hominem FAQ for FoolQuest.com
But I am not the only one who can attest the matter is frequently far more serious and dangerous than that.
The formerly distant and impersonal Internet may be encroaching and closing in, faster than we think. "Perpetrators of social ills like bullying or stalking tend to use whatever media are available." Now, even text messaging on mobile phones. And here is a parody (I hope!) warning of the abuse of Online resources in the perpetuation of sinister cause.
After all, there are already thriving communities of spite, not just cutting edge Web-tech in the dark service of ubiquitous Neo Nazis and various and sundry other legions of angry kooks, but forums of revenge, cyber-vandalism and, of course, just petty flaming. Not long suppressed, always testing to see just how much they can get away with, the stages of hostility steadily escalate from preaggressive behavior of inroads and encroachment upon personal boundaries indifferent towards the rights of another and generation of a hostile social environment, into whatever individual or collective pattern of overt and covert hostility.
Already for decades now on the Internet, flamers, short for for flaming assholes, have engaged in flaming, which is short for enflaming others with rage, that may consist of harassment, baiting, cyberstalking, disruption of forums, character defamation, malicious evil gossip, cyber-libel, slander against reputation, scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility, like manipulative strangers with candy, the trollish exploitation of confidence, harassment and sheer ventilation of Sadism, internationally ubiquitous or closer to home. But take the survey.
Prevailing guidelines for flaming, such as they are, scarcely constitute any embodiment of Critical Thinking, as flaming seeks to obstruct and subvert rational discourse of any kind. The mentality of flaming is iniquitous, in that being anti-critical, flaming does not seek to state, define or redress grievance or injustice reasonably or even press cogent criticism. Rather, the stated methodology of flamers is the highly subjective and flexible identification of unworthy classes of individuals, inferior beings, intrinsically deserving of abuse and provocation.
Or the evaluation of the quality and worth of expression of others according to the flamer's highly subjective and self-indulgent criteria, in order to rationalize lashing out at will, according to the morally bankrupt historically Fascist ideology of true honesty achieved only by the abandonment of all Civility and decency. But, far from unflinching honesty, flaming is predicated upon aggravation via unrelenting topic irrelevancy, the determined intent of drowning out signal with noise making heat without light and tends to be rationalized by victim blaming, scapegoating and defamation, one way or another. The awkward stigma and suffering of outcast state, social isolation, unpopularity, even involuntary celibacy, is typically most roundly mocked and virulently reviled by the very serial Relational Bullies and relentless character assassins who so often deliberately cause or exacerbate the problem in the first place with such utter impunity. Of course they will resent the target of bullying the more should nevertheless they ever succeed, romantically or otherwise, than when they only fail. To deny injustice and gloat about it, all in the same breath, flaming, in short, is the Online application of standard historically Nazi anarchic diversionary tactics, Sadistic persecution and self serving rationalizations thereof.
But flamers can be of any particular political alignment or none at all. Indeed, the logic of flamers, such as it is, may begin from their pointless taunting of such tempting targets as obnoxious flaming Neo Nazis, repressive religious Fundamentalists, charlatans, hustlers and USENET kooks. But then the field rapidly expands to become all encompassing so as to make anyone at all, fair game for flaming, at least in the twisted thinking of the flamers. Only so long as they can get away with it.
All of this is consistent with Anton Levay's fashionably depraved assertions of vengeance as any sort of a moral compass, that are actually immoral deception, having nothing to do with any simply amoral individual liberation and, indeed, can be nothing but a license to actout, omitting as they do any value of justice or proportion whatsoever. For all such is but the ongoing distortion of Nietzsche that began, historically, with his exploitative Nazi sister! Remember, Nietzsche, after all, despised Altruism and Persecution, equally, as Ecclesiastical vanity, Zen futile worldly attachment, snares and threats to autonomy. But the post-Nazi likes of notoriously Devil Worshiping Anton Levay, not only flamers, specifically, but bullies in general, often actually advance Sadomasochism as self realization, or at least on par with any other Hedonism.
And by similar repulsive logic, often targets of bullying conditioned into passive resignation by the school authorities are then considered better adjusted, because, otherwise, if they still react, then they are thought to be bringing it upon themselves. But, of course, by contrast with any physical intimidation or attack etc. in Real Life Offline, flamers are quick to point out that Online with flaming, far less is at stake. However, this may be deceptive, as flaming may serve to brand the target for scheming and masterfully socially adept disruptive Relational Bullying, defamation, ostracism and further incitement to and co-validation of all manner of harassment and abuse, Online or Offline.
Nevertheless, no different than bullies in general, there remains the one thing alone that still stops flamers dead in their tracks. And that is Civility, manifest as the moral indignation and disapproval of bystanders (instead of the all to common apathy) against the sheer ugly discourtesy, as bad form and uncool. Or the disapproval may also be effective coming from an authority figure such as a forum Moderator. Indeed, Even though, at any moment and under any circumstances, anyone may be pressed and cowed into hesitation and silence for fear that to speak up may reflect poorly, exercise futility, bring adverse consequences or even do harm, the spell of bystander apathy and social loafing can be broken by the example and assertive honesty of even a single Good Samaritan. But, otherwise, cowardice and apathy of the public or effective secrecy that conceals abuse or, indeed, anything at all less than staunch Civility at all, comes to the flamers, as to any other cliques of bullies, as tacit approval from society, thus enablement and impunity for abusers. Because, being devoid of actual conscience, heteronymous amoral sociopaths actually tend to be all the more mortified by miss stepping into simple faux pas. That is their weakness.
And all that is really needed for the introduction Civility into a culture, is a few plants in the crowd. A way of teaching in the field by demonstration. In turn leading to consensus building for moral suasion. The Clique Busters concept, Online or Offline, is about the covert engineering and orchestration of Civility and even the exposure of bullies and their cliques with intervention and counterpropaganda.
There is tremendous advantage in hypocrisy, being: the imposition of constrictive norms that diminish fitness to thrive and are difficult and costly for others to violate, but not you. The fundamental types and tactics of bullying populating the bullying circle, consist, if not of violence out right or at least intimidation, then even well orchestrated harassment, bullying mimesis, scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility, isolation, ostracism, protractedly escalating of syndromes of shunning and mobbing, ambient or stealth abuse. by disruptive pranks, peer pressure and evil gossip towards isolation and ostracism.
Beyond proselytizing, consistency, consensual validation and demonization to rationalize all manner of abuse, bullying memes employ what Aaron Lynch has dubbed the adversative mode of memetics, effective sabotage in of suppression against all dissent, the attacking and/or undermining opponents and competing thoughts. Since it may also frighten many nonhosts into silence, an adversative mode memplex is such as will be predatory upon competing memes. Indeed, a sufficient level of bullying and intimidation will suffice to silence and parallelize opposing culture. Moreover, likely opponents, less proximate to nexus of cliquish interaction and power, and hence any harder to intimidate can always be kept in the dark, even as repressive elements expand outwards and increase in their strength and number.
For, to paraphrase Sun Tzu, malicious gossip is like water, flowing to the lowest places, and avoiding the high moral ground. Or like an electric spark to excite the evil doer, passing between the readiest conductors, while avoiding the insulation of morality or credulity. Such is the memetic vectorization of malicious gossip and highly organized mean spirited conspiracy characteristic of typical adversative mode memes.
One standard strategy of bullies is simply to persistently propagate hate speech about the targeted person in order to incite hostility by any disturbed personalities or fanatics. Bullies can often be hard to identify and oppose due to their two-facedness, as well as the power connections they've established. Such bullies are devious manipulative consummate liars. And, often, it may even take low guile to thwart low guile. And therefore, as to the place of and the need for low guile, in the good fight, it does well to remember how George Bernard Shaw reported no pang of conscience what so ever, in pointing the fox hunters in entirely the wrong direction after the frightened quarry dashed by before his very eyes. And as much can be said of the righteous who gulled the Nazis at every opportunity to protect the persecuted. Even courageous Pacifism must draw a demarcation line from sheer spineless conflict aversion.
Not long suppressed, always testing to see just how much they can get away with, the stages of hostility steadily escalate from preaggressive behavior of inroads and encroachment upon personal boundaries indifferent towards the rights of another and generation of a hostile social environment, into whatever individual or collective pattern of overt and covert hostility. The name calling and innuendo of bullying typically denigrates the individual, attacking appearance as strange, unattractive or provocative, impugning upon sexuality as eager, inept, immoral, predatory or strange and deviant, while mocking the very luzerly suffering inflicted by bullying and all social isolation thereby exacerbated. In the words of Sonya Barnett at the very first SlutWalk in Toronto: “Enough of being told that we should be ashamed of ourselves, ashamed of our appearance, ashamed of our pleasure and ashamed of being victimized.” If only closed minds came with closed mouths!
When to hold your tongue: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Free thought and expression are rightly to be prized, especially the candid and impersonal exchange of the most brutally honest criticism and even however controversial, but also the frivolous gossip that is such a part of human "primate grooming rituals" and consensual validation, the corroboration of reality by comparison of one's own perceptions and concerns with those of others, even anecdote so revelatory of character. Everyone gossips, but malicious gossip, in particular, has special conspiratorial and anticompetitive adversative mode of Memetics. And here is the rub. Because the most vulgar gossip partakes of the same ambiguity as teasing, that in good humor either are harmless (not to be taken seriously by anyone of sound judgment or good character mindful to the recognition and modification of distortions) and even caring and inclusive, but, just as with actually hostile teasing, in malicious evil gossip via any medium or in any context, slander against reputation, Cyber-libel, internationally ubiquitous or closer to home, all constitutes exclusion by means of devily scheming, slippery and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility, raising ugly passions, sowing confusion and instigating harassment outright, even violence.
As the saying goes, let us strive, always, to take things in whatever spirit as intended: Indeed, even for gossip, there can always be higher caliber and greater substance in loftier intention attended upon with better sensitivity. Beyond mere empty idle gossip there is always the unburdening of oneself by crucially purposeful consultation in the resolution of personnel issues with others. But we must remain ever mindful of sliding into sheer gossip, guilty minded time consuming idle talk or rumor, especially as concerning the personal or private affairs of others, worst of all in vengeful hostility and reproach of perceived shortcomings, all behind another's back; typically stirring up strife, far from ever hoping to gaining insight and working things out. Cronyistic backbiting and scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility undermine reputation and hence the quest for recognition, obscuring the true character and value of the target of bullying from public perception, assuring as a consequence, social isolation and powerless unmet needs, generally preventing redistribution of opportunity. Bullies often seek to pro-socially characterize the targeting of an individual for defamatory malicious gossip and backbiting as raising an alarm howsoever warning others in the community about said hapless individual presumably deemed undesirable in light of whatever slander or else by sheer mean spirited petty and picayune peevishness. Exactly thus, even in grade school, the rational for bullying may already evoke a sort of bush-league vigilantism. In truth, however, though it is no longer so easy to seize ones neighbors' property by accusing them of witchcraft, the must virulent slander and ostracism often comes from romantic rivals for the same romantic prospects, or those who have borrowed money from their hapless target, now reluctant to pay it back except in the currency of heaping ever fresh abuse!
In plot,"unity of action," Sequence and Logic, but according to the Zen, distinctly from dharma, dealing in morally neutral physical problems and classifications of causality, karma is the psychological and sociological causality pertaining to human interaction, actually neither so universal nor measurable as to qualify as an actual physical law, yet nevertheless, the highly consistent and observable tendency for good effects to result from good causes: skill, prudence and benevolence, and bad effects to result from bad causes: malice, incompetence and stupidity. A rational percept of compassionate responsibility grounded in foreseeable consequence, taken no less seriously in Judeo-Christian thinking. -In modern terms and context, that bullying is unsafe. And this is in no way limited to such abuse as violence and harassment outright, but applies to the entire range of underhanded covert relational hostility and even ordinary thoughtlessness, all profoundly karmic.
"Judge not lest ye be judged" [MATTHEW 7:1-5] is the famed scriptural admonition to those ever among us least fit to judge yet most eager to do so, not to silence those actually injured by wrongdoing, needing comfort and succor, at all knowing firsthand whereof they complain. For we all remember what the Good Book tells us about appearances (at least anyone who has ever channel surfed in on the climax of 'The Man With the X-Ray Eyes'): "If thine eye offends thee, pluck it out." - [MATTHEW 18:9] Indeed: "Believe nothing you hear, and only half of what you see." For to begin with, it is the mind and not they eye that sees. And hearsay first traveling through the minds of however many others, isn't even the product of ones own individual thinking.
A vicious standby of propaganda of the powerful and amoral, is first to create an information vacuum, a mystery needing explanation in the imagination of their public, and then to fill said information vacuum with any decidedly one sided account, no matter how incredible but effectively uncontested. And this is readily accomplished by whatever means of ostracism, isolating the target of bullying and defamation and robbing them of any voice by which to defend their reputation. Calumny is the swift and ever worsening result.
Herodotus observed: "A man calumniated is doubly injured -- first by him who utters the calumny, and then by him who believes it." Any medium so vulnerably unguarded as the proverbial grapevine, is so easily subverted by power mad attention craving liars and instigators without scruple, no values of truth or justice, no sense of responsibility and not the slightest concern for the awful damage they bring about.
A concise scriptural selection on evil gossip is further elaborated in The Mouth that Roared and the calumny of evil gossip, particularly as false witness received into bureaucratic due process, is testified to in FAMILY ABUSE!
Backbiting (gheebah), then, means abuse, callous, deliberate harmful libel or defamation, even in mere mention behind the subjects back, in their absence, but of course, not neutral information, innocently intended. However, according to Islam, one who has suffered injustice seeking redress, is exempt, as is inquiry into pertinent information as to the reliability of others, pertaining to ones actual dealings with others, particularly with regard to outcomes of litigation and court rulings, all a legitimate inquiry of reputation, let alone the exchange of intelligence upon enemies actually presenting a clear and present danger. Backbiters are well advised to amend their ways and seek the forgiveness from the ones harmed. For backbiters are said to take upon themselves a thousand fold, whatever trifles and venial sins of those whom they have maligned and who are thereby cleansed thereof. And that makes sense, because one who, one way or another, effectively seeks vengeance or to pass judgment over such empty grudges in all disproportion and with no redeeming purpose, at the very least, certainly ought to forfeit the right to complain any further about it.
Indeed, likewise, Confidentiality in Jewish Law and "OOPS! I SHOULDN'T SAY THIS... OR SHOULD I?" specify the distinct moral obligation neither to receive nor to transmit bad-mouthing for fear of the destructive and unclean fallout dust (la-ashon ha-rah), poisonous exhalations of second hand heresy, ever, except in such case of clear and present danger wherein the prudent moral obligation becomes actually to make and/or take heed of any warning altruistically motivated simply in order to actually guard against whatever genuine danger and harm. But an untrustworthy society tends exactly to the reverse, brutally enforcing modest silence but only regarding serious problems exactly by means of clamorous alarm over trifles and lies, as well attested in Deviant Women in Early Modern England.
Leviticus 19:16 admonishes against deadly self serving self advancement by the circulation of slander by vigorous tale bearing that then only motivates the hearers to heartless idle bystander apathy and leave their neighbors, shunned, pariah, alone and falsely maligned without recourse, in a word: calumniated, in whatever circumstances or situations as unfold, to fend for themselves even for their very lives or those of others important to them, as connectivity to their world and every vital resource, comes apart at the seams, crashing down around them. In the words of St. Bernard: "Slander is a poison which kills charity, both in the slanderer and the one who listens." And I should know:
Bullied to death!
Personal statement: Bullying has driven so many to suicide, but it isn't always that straightforward. My name is Aaron Agassi. My own ability to help someone very dear to me and embroiled in a long and escalating cycle of dysfunction, exploitation and abuse, was vastly diminished by my own social isolation induced by willful and orchestrated calumny on the part of malignant cliques of well organized serial bullies and their cronies. To begin with, not only the target of ongoing abuse, but any witness thereof, is often traumatized. Not to mention that of course she was subjected to jealous peer pressure. But more than this, physical death often can follow upon social death, and not only of the intended target. Everyone is a node on the social network. And recklessly vandalizing a node on the social network callously and irresponsibly risks resultant collateral damage by cutting off all hope of support. And that was exactly what happened.
No one even suspected much less appreciated my struggle to help protect her very life as it turned out, much less to befriend and assist, because of shunning and mobbing driven by malicious conspiratorial evil gossip, envy and great whopping lies. And so, finally, grieving the loss of a close relative, she was destroyed, as far as I can make out, literally bullied into a fatal heart attack by another truly malignant and criminally predatory relative standing to inherit prime real estate. And her death was even that much more unnecessary and avoidable, only were I not so entirely left to my own devices and my life not under such unremitting attack, traumatizing for her to witness and not just for me to endure. I had no one to turn to, no one to reach out to for insight, no resources of any help, and most lethally, no functional community of support in which to include her, as she so desperately needed to be, in order to over come debilitating fears and build the wherewithal to cope and to thrive. I was and I remain, calumniated, with no way to recover or move on.
Ongoing abuse doesn't only harm the target of abuse, but even traumatizes those who witness and live in fear with that abuse. Every alternate possibility of outcome in 20/20 hindsight, depends upon better outreach on my part for connection to help and support from any more expansive social network, in short, upon me being popular and connected. I often wished that I could just phone up central casting and surround myself with staunch social "proof" (informational social influence) in my own support and reliable good influences for her to role model, functional adult expectations along with unflagging social and emotional support without the dysfunctional conditionality to which she was all too accustomed and adapted. She was always curious to to meet anyone coming into my orbit. I witnessed the subtle transformation of her demeanor, with improvement of social environment, But this was all too rare, because of her own lowered expectations of herself, despite all that she had going for her. Hers was the very vulnerability most often exploited by exploitative cliques, paralyzing trust issues interpersonally, compensated by consuming heteronomy to peer expectations of idiots. Social cues where what she was most responsive to. Whereas interpersonally, she was prone to ambivalence and inertia. What she needed in order to cultivate the autonomy and wherewithal better to begin steadily overcoming conflict aversion and cope with all that was to come, was the consistency of inclusion in any more functional and uplifting web of support, with functional expectations to put her on her on her best behavior, and autonomy support instead of the insecure conditionality and codependence to which she was so accustomed and adapted. But I could not share with her or exposé her to what was never within reach for myself, in no small part because of envious Relational Bullies running such constant interference. harassment and defamation, expressly n order to prevent it.
Shielded in hypocrisy, bullies will never be called to account for the incalculable harm they do by fraying the very fabric of society only in order to monopolize all connection for themselves and make all other beholden to them as self appointed gate keepers. Bullying is unsafe. Harassment is frightening and debilitating. Slander is deadly. Calumny and ostracism are often lethal, not just to their direct targets. Collateral damage can be severe and widespread. Bullying endures as a largely unchecked menace to public safety, happiness and productivity.
My point: Bullying is not only incessant and ever escalating, but therefore completely open ended in its cascade of sheer bad karma, confluence of cumulatively mounting unfavorable circumstances, terminal clusterfuck. the proverbial perfect storm, with deadliest impact, like water seeking the lowest ground, one way or another relentless to strike down the most vulnerable already slipping through the cracks. There are no limits of moderation. And petty conspiratorial campaigns of shameless slander and malignant hate speech are only the beginning overture. Slander may be said to be murder with words, resulting in social death. But the utter destruction of an individual by incessant bullying, can and all too often does, one way or another, end in actual physical death. The sabotage with impunity, the predation and social network terrorism, that is bullying, produces the added painful hardship and impassible obstacle to bring about the tipping point of tragedy for the already vulnerable typically targeted for bullying and exploitation.
To continue: One problem with any traditional strict injunction upon gossip, is resultant rejection, stifling and willful deafness to gossip as it swirls around one, failure to perceive and to address problems, missed opportunity to render vital assistance in any functional web of support. Gossip is the medium of reputation and accountability, the means by which one hopes to know what to expect of others, even the most idle curiosity that remains the medium of compassion, a call to alarm and assistance amongst friends and neighbors in trouble. Alas, however, how readily the proverbial grape vine, so completely unshielded, is infected and infested with dishonesty and malice, then locking up and failing to provide equal time for rebuttal;. The problem is that the individual listener is still burdened with the responsibility to filter such inputs as gossip, to search out reliable sources at all, and to judge and observe when gossip is telling us more about the speaker than anything else! So don't 'drink the Kool-Aid': Cognitive dissonance not withstanding, if the sensation of peer pressure stifles the voicing even of begged questions, then it's not actually the person under discussion that the hearer truly fears and with very good reason: Nobody even suspects where all the bodies are buried.
For nothing is as insidiously perilous than constant deviously scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility in which different people are manipulatively misdirected, intimidated, prevented and discouraged from contact. It will be important, therefore, to speak truth to power, to thwart malicious gossip by organizing campaigns of countergossip, befriending and sticking up for the unjustly maligned and slandered, while discretely facilitating networking, communication and eventual interaction between individuals who would not otherwise have the opportunity, and to teach others the habit likewise. At the very least, targets of cliquish isolation and manipulation are better off with any crucial opportunity simply to compare notes. After all: If your not supposed to talk to me, then what am I not supposed to tell you?! Like any good newshound, ferret out other sides to the story.
For in order to advance their standing, bullies may lay in wait for others to slip up. Ah, but bullying itself is no faux pas, precisely because it is maliciously deliberate. Of course, this flies in the face of the opposing ideals of civility, where in, on the contrary, honor and esteem accrue in actually helping one another to save face, especially in matters of little moment. To begin with, social grace is simply not the enforcement of custom. Social grace is like ballroom dancing, wherein the consummate skill and dexterity is in making others, no matter actually how awkward, feel graceful.
To reiterate, how well said is it that the backbiters takes upon themselves all the picayune venial sins they ever denounce and humiliate, a thousand fold, leaving their targets morally spotless in proportion. But bullies just don't get it: No matter ho socially inept you are, there is always someone the more socially inept, precisely because they imagine themselves so correct and qualified to impose their judgment upon others by whatever devious abuse. Indeed, what can possibly be more socially inept than persecuting the socially inept, even actually so, let alone simply branding targets of bullying as socially inept, as whatever sort of vague excuse or euphemism? Indeed, by contrast, what higher demonstration and élan of social grace can there be, other than by saving face for others, most especially the most helplessly socially inept, even the downright vulgar and unpleasant? And yet, bullying is indeed highly socially skilled. After all, deliberate malice is no social blunder! And what can be more damnable in bullyculture than faux pas? Certainly not the consummates skills of deliberate malice! Bullies are winners, and those they can victimize are luzers.
Bullies unpunished persist. Bullies successful in driving out a target of bullying, escalate. Placating and accommodating bullies in the name of peace and sweet reason, is like chumming the waters to calm the sharks, or throwing tidbits to the wolves in hopes that then they will go away. The targets of bullying so in need of protection and defense, are the weakest links by which we are all intimidated and our liberties quickly eroded. No one is safe, until all are. No one is free, until all are. Even the pettiest bullying with impunity, quickly attracts ever more dangerous elements into whatever social sphere: predators, both criminal and lunatic, not to mention simply ever greater numbers of cliquish serial bullies and their cronies. A predator entering such a target rich social environment, will find their ground work already accomplished for them, targets of bullying already isolated and rendered vulnerable to ever more dangerous predation and exploitation, with the added dividend of inclusion and social capital for abusing every trust and networking the Affinity Scam. Everyone is at risk.
And thus shall conditions remain until organized and decisive action is responsibly marshaled. We are all at fault for continuing to permit so degrading a state of affairs. Something must be done.
When a cult-like clique of bullies engages in mass opinion making, building themselves up and targeting scapegiats and rivals for deviously scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility, isolation, ostracism, protractedly escalating of syndromes of shunning and mobbing, ambient or stealth abuse, such cliques of bullies only disseminates selected (dis)information at such time and circumstance as they choose, and lead the target of propaganda indoctrination along in a group environment they control, so that one never is availed of any opportunity to look too closely at the big picture, particularly such that no one in their right mind and good conscience could ever fall for!
No less than any emotional vulnerability, such uncritical acceptance as above once achieved may tend to leave one vulnerable to well known and standard Methods Used in Brainwashing.
Undisciplined mentation simply follows the pattern of whatever habits and ideas have been absorbed first. And bullying simply panders to insecure impulsiveness, sinking even deeper into coercion, manipulation and lying, only magnifying the specious illogic of insecure impulsiveness from sheer projection in the sense not only of the specific classic denial mechanism of the observer's own emotions, but more generally, the somewhat unthinking figuratively Solipsistic lack of imagination to simply assume that the nature of all things and people is generally little different from ones own. And amoral sociopathic patterns such as bullying color perception and behavior even further by adding to such Narcissism an even more deeply depraved indifference to others, which is also so helpful in lying convincingly.
However, Critical Thinking, by contrast, seeks better judgment by striving to take everything into account, including itself, in order to be self correcting. Critical Thinking rests upon sound interpretation of written text; the well-balanced, coherent composition; the lucid comprehension of all what one hears about and experiences oneself; and the persuasive argument. Critical Thinking must rest upon proficient reasoning skills that can assure competency in inference, as well as upon proficient inquiry, concept-formation, and the cognitive skills to render ideas from one form, function, or context to another, and also to recognize that which may be lost in translation thereby.
Of course, as the saying goes, always consider the source. All manner of self serving should also be questioned, as a perennial motive for slander and abuse. For, as the old saying goes, "believe nothing you hear, and only half of what you see." Indeed, there may even be surprising insight buried amid the spewing bile of sheer spite, beyond just (quite rightly forbidden) acceptance at face value, for the careful and analytic listener to follow up and investigate for themselves.
If encouraging Critical Thinking can improve life, it will be because Critical Thinking increases the quantity and quality of meaning that individuals derive from what they perceive and also that which they will be apprised of second hand, that they express, and how they then will actively respond, to deviously scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility, evil gossip or anything else. Who does a serious and competent biographer interview as authoritative? Those who strive to isolate first themselves, not to mention everyone else, from whomever the biographer's subject? Surely such would fall more into the preview of a mythographer.
The proposed 'Vulcan Master' TV game show is conceived as an effort to help better popularize Critical Thinking.
Of course, Clique Busters ultimately aims at building effective and open consensus against bullying. At any moment and under any circumstances, anyone may be pressed and cowed into hesitation and silence for fear that to speak up may reflect poorly, exercise futility, bring adverse consequences or even do harm. But at some point, we must speak out for Clique Busters to begin propagating culturally. That is why protest and counterpropaganda attack operations are also key to Clique Busters, Online, by flyers, buttons, other handouts, eye witness video and word of mouth. Yes, consciousness raising and orchestrated countergossip, expanding counter-mimesis and with a vengeance! And this may necessarily entail that bullies may come to experience dystress from harsh public criticism of their behavior. The bullies, after all, are to be pitied, having scorned every true friend to teach them right from wrong. And some one must arise to tell them "no".
The awkward stigma and suffering of outcast state, social isolation, unpopularity, even involuntary celibacy, is typically most roundly mocked and virulently reviled by the very serial Relational Bullies and relentless character assassins who so often deliberately cause or exacerbate the problem in the first place with such utter impunity. Of course serial bullies will typically only resent the target of bullying the more should nevertheless they ever succeed, romantically or otherwise, than when they only fail. The implicit sophistry, twisted logic and hypocritical selectively applied impossibly high standard of scapegoating and victim blaming, is that should any flaw whatsoever ever be found in any individual's social skills, the manner in which they interact with others in groups, therefore any level or tactics of hostilities against them become, if not moral and actually socially constructive, then at least at all understandable. And furthermore, whenever anyone is thusly singled out, that may be taken as an indication that naturally the problem resides with their social skills and such. Such perverse common sense only needs to be spelled out, as often and repeatedly as necessary, in order thereby to collapse under its own weight of corruption and cowardly indifference. For the plain intent is simply that the vulnerable at any time, should fall by the wayside, beaten and discarded, as an example to others to timidly content themselves with repression and exploitation. "Look what you made us do!" complain the bullies...
Not mere criticism, but truthful grievance, is the motive of CliqueBusters goal put forth not merely of dominance, but of moral victory and value. -And certainly not martyrdom: Never should perfectly truthful targets of bullying have to fear sounding crazy or pathetic ever again!
Tactics for undermining petty demagoguery
Character Assassination, covert relational hostility and manipulations in society:
After all, at any moment and under any circumstances, anyone may be pressed and cowed into hesitation and silence for fear that to speak up may reflect poorly, exercise futility, bring adverse consequences, reprisal, or even simply do harm. The lower are the standards of Critical Thinking and justice, the more indistinct, exaggerated and picayune may be the grudges held against the target of bullying in evil gossip. Not liking someone else's vibe, for little particular reason, is often all the self justification a belligerent bully ever needs, just so long as they are never called to account and expect to get away with it all, one way or another. There is tremendous advantage in hypocrisy, being: the imposition of constrictive norms that diminish fitness to thrive and are difficult and costly for others to violate, but not you.
Indeed, the mentality of bullyspeak, such as wherein the actingout of every petty animosity is discussed and encouraged as if that where the most reasonable thing on Earth! Within the dynamic of their cliques, the bullies, in their fragile Narcissism, co-validate in manipulating themselves away from Critical Thinking and empathy, and to condition people, unconsciously, to become uneasy in the presence of a target of bullying that they seek to ostracize, bullies will haunt their prey, raising tension in the vicinity every time their hapless quarry is ever present. Such instigation is a manipulation of herd instinct which is part of a clique's standard Affinity Scam as well as Persecutor-Rescuer headgames.
But more than this, there is always the bully's repertoire of dirty tricks: Deviously, the deviously scheming and masterfully socially adept Relational Bully casts a chilling effect, the threatening pall of humiliation to intimidate others from connecting with one another, typically separating the targets of isolation by exclusion from all others and especially the targets of isolation and exploitation within the peer group, and to prevent them from comparing notes and helping one another in standing up to and ever overcoming the bullies. And, in addition, by harassment of the target of bullying, he or she can be made so upset or frightened as to seem vaguely threatening to others who are kept in the dark and out of context. That is another reason why bullies often resort to sly practical jokes that they hope will not be perceived by apathetic bystanders and social loafers.
Lastly, the gulf which is cultivated by deviously scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility, peer pressure, ostracism, dehumanizing Character Assassination and bigotry, exacerbates isolating and paralytic tension which thus becomes self validating. Of course, ridicule and abuse against the underdog are enough to encourage imitation, unless, instead of prevailing apathetic social loafing, such provoke immediate bystander or authoritative honest outrage.
Cult-like cliques do not serve merely isolate their own membership within. Rather, cliquish cronyism seeks control of connection between others entirely so that all others must curry their favor, tribute which they must be systematically refused. Even beyond ostracism against and social isolation of any individual target of bullying most particularly, deviously scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility and abuse of power often more generally employs manipulative intimidation divisively in order to keep other people or even groups or classes of people, all separate from on another, in ongoing sabotage, under any pretext or taboo, undermining competing social cohesion outside the oppressive dominant clique. Therefore CliqueBusters must also network and collaborate in order to monitor covert relational hostility and provide intentional social context and backchannels in order actually even to orchestrate contact and communication, not only for targets ofdeviously scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility, but for everyone else as well, in order systematically to mend all connection and outreach continually undermined by relentless Relational Bullies.
The entire point of covert relational hostility is ambient or stealth abuse to obstruct, subvert and misdirect consenting association. Relational Bullying is not an expression of the bully's freedom of association. What a pernicious lie to ever suggest that it ever could be! Rather, covert relational hostility intentionally robs the target of their freedom of association, thereby making very broad adverse impact.
There is tremendous advantage in
being: the imposition of constrictive norms that diminish fitness to thrive and are
difficult and costly for others to violate, but not you.
Putting someone at a
comparatively unfair disadvantage, or by unfair means, is robbing them.
Woody Allen said that “Eighty percent of
showing up.” But not for targeted individuals of serial
covert relational hostility
It's worse than invisibility! The social technology of
proactively aims at the inception of a procedure that will
exposure of the truth and fan the flames of social and individual justice.
A good test for the identification of a clique of bullies is to persist in asking for explanation of their hostility in terms of objective reality and fairness. To insist to know what actually happened, and how and in what sense did their target ever wronged them. If the questioner is simply brushed off or scorned, then the bullies have been identified. However, by the same token, the questioning skeptic is endangered, exposed to the bullies.
But to actually learn the whole truth, another more devious approach is indicated:
When stroked, these braggarts will spill their guts uncontrollably, of all they'd never admit under any duress. So desperate are they for Existential Validation. All that is required is feigned Sadistic approval! Indeed, questioning skeptics may even that easily restore their safety and anonymity, by simply pretending to change sides!
Indeed, in order to avoid giving cues and contaminating the results, employ an emotionally loaded semi-coherent incomplete sentence as a projective test, just such as may be contrived to illicit response to exactly such ambiguous stimuli. Then humor the subject, feigning enthusiastic agreement to reinforce whatever answer as tumbles forth in response.
Busters Zen, the
moral bottom line, is, if you came upon abuse
of whatever sort, the act, preparation, or the conspiracy, might you ever hide
and listen, to warn the intended victim or even to bear witness publicly and in
protest? Might you ever go so far as to humor the wrong doers just to pump them
for details by which to implicate themselves? And would you ever plan on doing
any of this sort of thing deliberately? -Especially if you could rely upon good
And, of course, the bullies' targets must also be contacted and interviewed, then warned about the bullies' evil plans. Not to mention anyone else involved or just witnesses bystanding.
Any need whatsoever of maintaining at all plausible appearances and rationalizations will tend to rule out the more overt mimesis of bullying in favor of whatever ambient or stealth abuse secretly or at least deniably. All mature and functional attachments of social relationship under autonomy are ethical, being predicated upon trust and fulfillment of such expectations, lack or abrogation whereof creating distance, even loathing and avoidance, or else ambivalence, mistrust and dysfunction, indeed if not amoral sociopathy outright, then the shattered confidence and compensations thereto of heteronomy. Weak attachment makes for weak conscience. Thus heteronymous deviously scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility and even cult-like fair game tactics working to to undermine those attachments in society, thereby conspire with impunity by means of social exclusion, shunning and mobbing, to harm and endanger the target of exactly such serial bullying. Often protected by abuse of power curried well in advance and usually also coordinated together with a wider disinformation campaign of damaging malicious gossip, an organized campaign of harassment is organized by cliques of amoral sociopathic serial bullies, and deviously orchestrated against the target of bullying. Individual harassment episodes involving a handful of participants are carefully planned and arranged for the isolated and bewildered target of bullying to experience in a social environment thereby turned palpably hostile and frightening. Ambiguous remarks overheard and trivial momentary acts of petty hostility seem not only deniable, but easy even for the target to overlook, except for the defamation and ostracism so menacingly foreshadowed.
For whenever possible, and in whatever social context, cliques of bullies will consistently strive to pressure and estrange all others from the target of bullying. Not only are current friends and acquaintances pressured, but all potential new connections are obstructed or misdirected under any pretexts or by whatever defamation, disruptive dirty tricks ofdeviously scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility, intimidation and intrigues of abuse of power. After all, to be effective, manipulatively intimidating malicious gossip does not need to convince, but only to cast doubt and foment hesitation, in order successfully to isolate any target of all such devious bullying.
Delusions of reference or just hyper vigilant sensitization can make even random proximate events seem to be directly related to the perceiver, as for example it may seem as if people are talking about you specifically, let alone anything so dramatic, fancifully surreal as special personal messages communicated to you personally, through the TV, radio, or other media. Over compensation may take the form of sweet reason, self doubt, denial and dismissal as disturbing misperception and strange coincidence that which later turns out otherwise, when the proverbial second shoe metaphorically drops. The real question may be: Are you paranoid enough?
Surveillance for effective intelligence gathering should be undetected by the target of observation. But to the contrary, merely for purposes of threatening and provocative psychological harassment, surveillance presence will be made always vaguely palpable. When anyone could be watching you, it may easily come to seem like everyone is watching you. And the stress will be cumulative. Gas lighting is typically employed in order to menace, condition and sensitize the target of bullying to certain cues that can be more readily employed to elicit stressful and maddening hyper vigilance in the hapless target of bullying, to make them seem all the more haunted and undesirable, even in moments or upon occasions when in actuality only a small number of the bullies or unwitting proxies and utter tools are at all available within the harassment perimeter of the target of bullying for the ambient or stealth abuse that is organized gang stalking, and therefore there is no way for the target thereof to know how deeply community based or not.
Gang Stalking: Psychological Targeting in a Group Setting
Organized gang stalking is a particular aspect of protractedly escalating syndromes of shunning and mobbing, as by inclusion of covert pursuit and surveillance of a target even while in motion. Modes of gang stalking, multiple stalking, or group stalking, shadowing and menacing include ongoing covert relational hostility towards social isolation of the target unawares, or escalation of psychological warfare into gas lighting. The appellation predatory gang stalking obtains tautologically. Vigilante gang stalking, in petty spite or mounting hysteria, obtains given portrayal of the target as howsoever trivially or monstrously undesirable, lending the persecution thereof thereby a luster and fraudulently self justifying Existential Validation as somehow or other even noble pro-social. Indeed,cause stalking as indeed seen throughout history, obtains in so far as implicit or explicit ideology or politics ever motivates and/or rationalizes any such active hostility, often branding their targets as whatever sort of infidel or deviant.
The range of abuse and exploitation herein discoursed upon are perpetual and ubiquitous. And evidence thereof must remain Empirical. Therefore flagrant denial of ever having witnessed or heard tell, likewise remains possible, however unlikely. That is why this document strives so to render a certain range of often ridiculed and seemingly extreme claims plausible and as tawdry common place as they actually are. It's not a matter of whether one is paranoid, but whether one is paranoid enough! For sweet reason is so oft ending in shock and disappointment. The world is full of bad people because there may even be far fewer truly bad people than at all benign, yet the power and evil of even so few utterly bad people expands to fill our lives, doing harm and demanding accommodation to so continue!
Is gang stalking then a real phenomena? In answer by way of illustrative analogy: King Arthur may be mythical and yet England endures. Likewise. conspiracism is delusional, but gang stalking as a mode of bullying and even criminal harassment, often under any outrageous pretext vigilante rationalization, is very real indeed. -Just not organized on the improbable scale and authority claimed, nay veritably demanded, by crank conspiracy theorists. But does it need to be before we respond seriously?
No one denies the reality of individual stalking, indeed, serial stalking, repeatedly and persistently, and not just upon single unrepeated occasions. No one denies that occasionally as might arise, groups of people ever follow others in a manner howsoever secretive, stealthy and/or menacingly hostile. Can it truly be beyond credence that such group or collective activity as likewise to follow others in any howsoever secretive, stealthy and/or menacingly hostile manner, but to do it together with others, might ever be ongoing much as with serial stalking by lone individuals? Only specific cases and extreme claims regarding the phenomena of group or multiple stalking may at all seriously invite skeptical scrutiny. Blanket denial, implicit or explicit, is just puerile and deserves no serious consideration!
The leading cause for feelings of persecution remains actual persecution. The hounded and harried, the shunned and outcast, often progressively do actually begin to seem haunted and disreputable. To begin with there is such widespread denial regarding bullying generally. People will tend to believe you if you tell them you've been assaulted and robbed in the street, but often become the more credulous regarding accounts of mean spirited and devious harassment. It doesn't help credibility of the victimized either, when the symptoms of nervous distress from severe and protractedly escalating of syndromes of shunning and mobbing, let alone more brazen and overt harassment, even actual death threats, may even begin to terrifyingly but misleadingly mimic those of poison.
Indeed, the very real paranoid experience of sensitization from devious and crazy-making serial bullying, is an effect of protracted psychological warfare unto hyper vigilance, from being conditioned to alarm from any trivial sign or stimuli such that might also happen entirely at random and with no real significance. Sensitization accrues nagging self doubt because of false alarms on the one hand, or overcompensation and disbelief of an intuition over anything innocent seeming that later turns out to be even possibly of real covert harassment and danger after all on the other.
For another matter, no one likes to be messed with in their own home. Harassing and threatening crank phone calls are best dealt with by using any simple answering machine to screen calls. Another common complaint is of ones personal possessions being moved about in one's absence. Personally, I found just such circumstances, especially pilfering and open or unlocked doors and windows, all vastly improved, once the property manager finally replaced problem tenants and unreliable help. Up until then, everyone tried to invalidate me by blaming my own untidy housekeeping and absent mindedness. But I found myself all the more conditioned into untidiness, because that became the only way to hide and protect my possessions. Alas, along with neighbor bullying, various and far worse exploitation within ones own living situation, are hardly uncommon.
Moreover, there are also those who report even in all candor, and with none of the angry accusatory intellectual dishonesty typical of conspiracism, the unlikely seeming and unsettling paranoid experience of palpable hostility from entirely different gang stalkers, following them around everywhere they go, even in traveling between different cities and continents! Is all of this then anything more that delusional metaphor for extreme alienation, or have they just become hyper vigilant and sensitized, indeed perhaps even so palpably nervous that they make even random strangers likewise at all perceptibly a little nervous in turn?
People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down
When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
— 'People are Strange' Jim Morrison, The Doors
Baffled suffers may even be given credit for sincerely wanting to know what's actually going on. Nevertheless, it is not even clear if such astonishing accounts are rationalizingly suggestive of conspiracism or else vaguely and antirationally of some or other even quasi-mystical synchronicity or the supernatural even simply to blame it all on demons! In any case, the most manifestly unlikely accounts and scenarios are often exploited in order to undermine the credibility even of far more real, legitimate and obviously serious concerns.
If such accounts of mysterious palpable hostility and sly pursuit from different complete strangers, even in international travel, are taken to represent the most conceivably extreme claim on the one end, then the other extreme would be utter denial that anyone ever stalks and harasses anyone else in any way whatsoever, let alone in any sort of collaboration at all, or constantly against the same persons. And no one wants to actually come out and take the latter position, much as some scoundrels and cowards might even imply it. And so it follows, reasonably, that the truth lies anywhere in-between. The only insight that bullying awareness might offer, is that persecution by class is only one among so many common motivation for bullying in any of its tactics and manifestations. Therefore, no, one needn't be perceived as Untouchable or Deviant, let alone howsoever dangerous or deserving, in order ever to pick up an unwontedly malignant tail! It's just intimidation and ostracism. Indeed, of course, all typically hypocritical wannabe vigilante tough talk notwithstanding, anyone truly frightening and dangerous will seldom find themselves so provoked.
Just as more recently with the ongoing denial that single lone maladjusted serial stalkers might ever even conceivably flock together and gang up to collaboratively practice multi-stalking, the standard modes of obfuscation in truth suppression of the reality of bullying to begin with, have been the myth of the lone maladjusted physical bully likewise in denial of the very concept of bullying as a social phenomena with the insistence that cliques only present a problem for pathetic approval seekers desperate to gain entry thereto in high school. And these blithe and blatant lies went unchallenged because of the humiliation and denial never daring admit to being or ever having been unpopular and bullied. But the closeted shame and stigma for targets of bullying has abated, and the truth is out. Likewise the sly and malignant covert relational hostility and gas lighting psychological warfare of shunning and mobbing even of a hapless and unsuspecting target while at all on the move, orchestrated harassment that is accomplished via the destructive social reality of howsoever community based or infesting and even well organized multi-stalking, is steadily coming to light no less.
And yet there remain two principle kneejerks of abusive flaming and denial in truth suppression online regarding organized gang stalking specifically: The first is denunciation of the very topic of organized gang stalking as even implicitly intrinsically paranoid crank conspiracy theory, and the second is the very opposite, virulent Ad Hominem against any attempt whatsoever to discuss the very real and disturbing sociological phenomena of organized gang stalking, community mobbing or cause stalking among other related modes of bullying, except in context of fantastical Tabloid Weird machinations of super secret conspiracy and shadow government.
Exactly such fantastical denial regarding organized gang stalking that employs paranoid crank conspiracy theory, operates by the following mechanisms: Much as pseudoscientific cranks deny that the Pyramids, for example, could ever have been constructed without the technology of ancient extraterrestrial astronauts, likewise the conspiracy theorists adamantly deny that gang stalking is possible without super secret exotic technology under direct supervision from vast powers, cabals and shadow government, even though in reality, it's not actually all that complicated or resource intensive: To repeat the previous examples, any amoral violent sociopath can call upon their equally amoral sociopathic buddies and cronies for menacing surveillance in order to keep tabs upon and intimidate a terrified battered spouse, and any bullies can slink about and follow their target around the school yard, whispering malicious gossip and exerting exclusionary peer pressure right there behind their hapless target's back. Soon the abuse escalates. And exactly such extremely damaging covert relational hostility propagates unchecked throughout every walk of life. Nor is it much of a secret how the powerful and influential can and do incite all manner even at very least, of the most far reaching and intensive organized orchestrated harassment against whistleblowers, dissidents and others. Leave us not forget, also, extortion and terror or organized crime, McCarthyist blacklisting and cult harassment. So exactly what is there left to deny?
Another vexing practice typically damaging to the credibility of complaints against far more serious and dangerous harassment, is dissemination of all manner of bogus misleading information and pseudoscience, including, also, obsession upon, as reported, all manner of the most dumfounding incidental and ordinary observation and sightings, along with the most juvenile and trivial street theatre, even such that might almost be the artistry of perfectly well meaning flash mobs, perhaps were it not (as reported) for the chronic repetition!
But the delusional conspiracy theory accomplishes two things for the believer: Whereas constant harassment and social isolation understandably bring about feelings of helpless inadequacy, and the already mentally unbalanced are prime vulnerable targets of bullying, the imaginary drama of enmity with vast unseen powers not only matches the vague and helpless sensation of persecution looming so large from quarters unknown and unseen, but at the same time promotes a grandiose sense of personal significance in compensation for the insignificance of helpless abuse unknown and without recourse. Indeed, precisely by conjuring such an overwhelming and intangible enemy, conspiracy theory promotes passive inaction and relieves the distress of daunting and frustrated responsibility to active resistance, but only deepening anxiety, depression, and either increasing insular hostility and denial or else frank and adamant expression of helpless despair, in the long run.
Indeed, the sole approved counter offensive strategy of the delusional believers, is consciousness raising by flooding online forums; in other words: Endless co-validation and proselytizing. They refuse to organize for purposes of investigation or mounting resistance, for fear of infiltration by perpetrators! Indeed, apparently some are being bilked by confidence tricksters, Typically, the conspiracists also shun any very suggestion of acquiring, either by recruitment, education or experience, the skill sets for human tights advocacy and lobbying. And of course the conspiracists blame the pervasive global conspiracy for their ineffectuality, never their own inadequacy, insularity, learned helplessness, paranoia and decidedly limited repertoire.
But worst of all, often discriminatory and scapegoating paranoid crank conspiracy theory no matter how fantastical, has also always served as a handy propaganda platform for hate speech, scapegoating and victim blaming such as even to inspire organized gang stalking, cause stalking and vigilante stalking, in the first place, if not pogrom and mayhem outright. Is it a coincidence, then, that the lunatic fringe likely most active in vigilante cause stalking, also works so hard to encourage the association of the very concept of organized gang stalking so indelibly with the entire panoply of hard to swallow unwieldy grandiose crank conspiracy theory? Is it entirely unintentional how the former thereby so discredits the latter? Are just such outrageous claims actually "poison pills" of manufactured propaganda from would be insurgents, scheming to divide and conquer the masses over absurd contentions, so that we won't unite in confronting actual dangers? As Glen Beck likes to say: I'm just raising questions... !
Overt rudeness and nastiness, even more subtle hostile social environment, are all indeed the very least of the extent of serial bullying. In mobbing as observed in animal communities, conspiratorial deliberate planning thereof must be deemed impossible. And similar behavior is observed in human society as well. But in human society there can also be deliberation. That's hardly uncommon. Indeed, the awkward stigma and suffering of outcast state, social isolation, unpopularity, even involuntary celibacy, is typically most roundly mocked and virulently reviled by the very serial Relational Bullies and relentless character assassins who so often deliberately cause or exacerbate the problem in the first place with such utter impunity. Of course serial bullies will typically only resent the target of bullying the more should nevertheless they ever succeed, romantically or otherwise, than when they only fail. Still, perhaps to assert that there is planning and conspiracy may ever remain explanatorily unnecessary, and to whatever extent, serial bullying in society might nevertheless be apprehended as a memetic propagation of habitual spontaneous and unthinking cruelty, yet still highly organized. Indeed, even preparatory activity might be described, if not adequately explained, Behaviorally, rather than Cognitively. But therefore, actual additional scheming by any standard, only thrives and abounds. It remains an absurd denial to insist that bullies do not forge relationships, organize and cooperate in serial bullying. Indeed, for that matter, bullying is often institutional, bringing to bear the authority thereof in abuse of power.
Organized gang stalking remains, after all, a pervasive behavior socially, a mode of bullying and abuse of power relationships that is so often one way or another community based and historically a notorious feature of rising fascism. And along with secretive corruption, all manner of physical and psychological violence routinely figures into extortion by organized crime. In truth, however, conspiracy begins close to home. Bullies and thugs cooperate and network most readily and capably in isolating and victimizing targeted individuals. They don't need any sort of a formal syndicate.
What, yet another crackpot paranoid conspiracy theory?
• What are conspiracy theories?
A conspiracy theory is any explanation of any particular outcome or circumstances as resultant from some or other concealed and clandestine plot by a secret group or alliance rather than any individual or isolated event despite all transpired superficial appearances. Indeed people in power have been all too frequently been discovered to do evil out from the public view. But the term: conspiracy theory designates a paranoid world view endeavoring to explain the bulk of known history and current events by a narrative of the unknown and unlikely, of vast secret pervasive shadowy conspiracy behind the scenes. But in reality, the difficulty of keeping a conspiracy actually secret increases exponentially with each additional member.
Crank conspiracy theorists are often first degree pipedreaming do-nothings and a force for inaction at best, angrily dismissing the importance of all other problems except for those that they link to whatever mythical pervasive conspiracy, demonizing all rational skepticism and adamantly rejecting any action agenda beyond lambasting unbelievers and preaching to the choir. Or else at worst, crackpot paranoid conspiracy theorists are dangerous hate criminals and propagandists. For the histories of persecution and conspiracism remain inextricable.What is even meant by the very term: conspiracy theory? And as an article of Critical Preference, how exactly are crackpot conspiracy theories so bereft of all credibility? The Epistemological and Methodological question is of the demarcation of extraordinary claims demanding progressively stronger and more extraordinary scientific and journalistic evidentiary support, let alone hypotheses that are outright untestable, unfalsifiable in very principle.
When indeed, if three felons cooperate in robbing a gas station, don't we assume that they planned it together, in other words: that they conspired? Or must we suppose that they all converged simultaneously, masked and guns in hand, by sheer coincidence, and only then spontaneously decided that they might as well collaborate? Of course not. Indeed, by contrast with all such common sense of the common place, an important feature of crank conspiracy theory proper, remains any far greater nigh religious leap of faith in explanation of the known in terms of the unknown or at least more uncommon or ever grander and more unlikely. Crackpot paranoid conspiracy theories strain credibility and credulity in their tendencies to posit impractically pervasive and deep secrecy together with consummate competence in the exercise of power, seizing the reigns of destiny from deep within the shadows behind the backdrop whereupon the spectacle of our empty lives is staged for us.
Whereas in truth, the actual corruption of tacit conspiracy so powerfully motivated by vested interest which is so difficult to curtail, ultimately only follows the path of least resistance. It is said that two can keep a secret if one of them is dead. So, how many are supposed to be involved in vast secret pervasive conspiracies? When has the government ever really been slick enough to orchestrate much of anything very well? And what need of such convoluted secrecy, when, brazen and unaccountable, with complete impunity, the powerful and privileged are always peeing on our collective leg and telling us it's raining?
Although, sometimes it is the dilettante
bored and powerful
themselves who dabble in playing out crackpot conspiracy theory fantasy, indeed,
as with the notorious Skull and Bones Society, gaudy privileged frat boy rituals
of exclusivity and conspiracy may even serve only to glamorize precisely such
reality of the interchangeably spineless and effete, behind a far more
cool and thrillingly naughty and arcane fantasy. But surely, if such as the
Skull and Bones Society never existed, nothing would really be any different.
For that matter, if
the notoriously elite and secretive Bilderberg conference where canceled one
year, humdrum business as usual would simply continue via email. Competent
management at all sustains our world. Real leadership is even more scarce.
By the same token, exploitation and abuse as an open secret in any given culture, is another matter entirely than outlandish conspiracy theory. Examples include discrimination which may indeed manifest as bullying targeted against some class of individuals, organized crime and, yes: defamation and bullying also including along with deviously scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility, isolation, ostracism, protractedly escalating of syndromes of shunning and mobbing, ambient or stealth abuse, such measures of harassment typical of vigilantism as organized gang stalking among modes of bullying, actually not all that complicated. For that matter, vigilantism itself is little secret either any more than, smug and disingenuous denials aside, bullying most generally. -All most unlike the explanatorily inelegant and inevident mythic tendrils of deep Byzantine conspiracies, nigh unmanageable and quite unnecessary for the powerful and brazen. Purportedly omnipresent and omniscient electronic surveillance is scarcely necessary for mounting hyper vigilant sensitization to even the most petty psychological warfare in its mysterious intermittence, simply to feel that way.
Although, of course, governmental and corporate powers and even intelligence agencies have certainly been known to involve themselves in the instigation and even orchestrating of all manner of harassment and far worse, against whistleblowers and dissidents among others. Indeed, Such orchestrated harassment as community based organized gang stalking, has a long history as a tool of political oppression whenever society swings towards Totalitarianism. The cult harassment and fair game tactics most notorious of The Church of Scientology also near mention. And But would any such harassment and defamation tactics be so damn easy and convenient in application criminal and sociopolitical oppression, if bullying weren't so rampantly out of control in veritably every sphere of life to begin with? Perhaps for a safer and saner world, autonomy and civility must begin closer to home. Perhaps the first evil powers that must be routed out, are merely the most insignificant petty abusers of power conferring impunity upon bullying. When we no longer so heteronymously tolerate their ilk, then perhaps we might also then break the habit of enduring any greater and deadlier tyranny and folly of public life, commerce and even of the criminal underworld as well.
Exploitative emotional abuse is often observed and understood in the context of interpersonal relationships and life within society. But under whatever pretext, the criminally malignant and predatory manipulation and coercion that is bullying, thrusts exploitative emotional abuse upon others against their will entirely, even outside any bounds of ongoing relationship. Bullying is Sadistic enmity and intrinsically rapine, whether by over violence or by whatever various other means and tactics of sly intrusion, an entirely unwanted involuntary relationship on the part of the target of bullying and destructive thereto. Although, exploitative abusive relationships and social orders are also typically part of the whole picture. Bullying sends the message to accommodate abuse and exploitation, or else come under bullying attack completely.
Giving unambiguous voice? Venting for impact: Guerilla Est tactics and their foreseeable drawbacks
of the target of bullying must be well and fully earned by unconditional
opposition to bullying, before any even however most minimal added restraint or
cooperation be requested from the target of bullying, and even then, most humbly
and apologetically, under the circumstances of bullying which, after all, ought
make responsible authorities blush. -and in so blushing, so to speak, and
as publicly as possible, thereby already engender public disgrace for the
Technically, since proof is of validity, of internal consistency of logical prepositions so that they do not contradict themselves to begin with, and never of truth which is correspondence to reality, being: an Empirical question, informational social influence ought to be called not: social "proof", but: social corroboration. Indeed, informational social influence, like corroboration, being: support by whatever kind of evidence, information or even authority, even thereby increasing at least perceived certainty, is continually additive, yet never conclusive and permanent, let alone absolute proof, and indeed subject if not to any such thing as disproof, then to refutation, being: to demonstrate the falsehood or unavailability of an hypothesis, or for social "disproof"/refutation, the fairly conclusive unvailability of one's social life!
Any social "proof" (informational social influence) may be crucial in overcoming obscurity and social "invisibility", let alone bullying outright.
In the movie 'Ladyhawke', the curse will only be lifted when that jilted and jealous malignant cockblocker the Bishop of Aquila is thwarted and crushed by the very sight of the harried outlaw fugitive Etienne and his beloved Isabeau finally reunited with the help of their friend, the initially somewhat mousy but redoubtable Philippe. This is metaphor signifying how deviously scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility and social exclusion effectively manufactures poisonous social "disproof" if you will, in palpable denunciation of the target's luzer status of undesirability, and serving also as an effective obstacle, indeed much like unto some sort of curse, the best Transactional Antithesis being any social "proof" to the contrary, that may still howsoever nevertheless be attained in rising resistance to oppressive coercion and manipulation. For one is all too frequently judged by ones popularity and the company one keeps. For the awkward stigma and suffering of outcast state, social isolation, unpopularity, even involuntary celibacy, is typically most roundly mocked and virulently reviled by the very serial Relational Bullies and relentless character assassins who so often deliberately cause or exacerbate the problem in the first place with such utter impunity. Moreover, serial bullies will typically only resent the target of bullying the more should nevertheless they ever succeed, romantically or otherwise, than when they only fail.
Indeed, meekly and most publicly apologizing to targets of bullying, in the most effusively wretched mortification of embarrassment at the most flagrant bullying, may even be far more devastating thereto even than actually scolding the bullies however scathingly, soundly and publically, certainly instead of actually accommodation or victim blaming and scapegoating. And as a matter of optimal casting for maximal devastation and humiliation of bullies and their vicious cliques, the apologetic spokespersons might be any sort of authority figures and minor celebrities, figures of pathos such as the elderly and infirm, or however passably attractive women. It is imperative to monitor the operations of bullies, manta in rapid response, maintain covert videography, document and publicize their disgrace in countergossip, continually, even setting up the bullies for humiliating exposure via the orchestration of sting operations.
In the words of Abba Eban: “Consensus is what many people say in chorus but do not believe as individuals”. Consensus functions as social "proof", even in support of any direction taken, even howsoever arbitrary and even unsound. Indeed, for prime example, testimonials, even wielded as peer pressure, are anecdotal evidence and therefore in actuality among the most worthless and completely unreliable known to science.
Many hope that a group to hang out with will serve to make each individual member appear more popular and gregarious. People will cue up, use shopping carts, and conform to various table manners, all by following suit from observable behavior of others in public. "In general, most men fail to meet women [because] they travel in packs but go on the hunt solo" or, to employ the Naturalists jargon, they function, and badly, as "sneaky rutters", according to 'CubanJoe's Rules of Engagement', apparently a more condensed version of 'The Pickup Mission'. Indeed, not unlike the first shills rising to their feet from the audience of a faith healer to help get the proverbial ball metaphorically rolling, rent-a-friends, wingmen and yes: wingwomen, are all available for hire, in order to provide social "proof" and to make introductions: "making you look attractive fun mysterious interesting and scarce (just what Women look for in a real man)."
It is often recommended rather than simply meeting with a prospect in order to make their acquaintance, better to research and know them before your meet them, much less trust them. However this may tend to require prior networking with acquaintances in common. What is exchanged, then, is the social Persecutor-Rescuer of publicity and reputation, of sheer gossip. And in the words of Elbert Hubbard: “Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.” Indeed, if only enemies of said individual are at all and the only acquaintance in common, then closer acquaintance by anyone else with said individual, is never much encouraged by such social "disproof". -Except, as often, by merciless predators in search of a ready vulnerable socially isolated target. And with little more qualm as to equivocally biting whatever metaphorical hands that proverbially feed them, just such predators readily gaining acceptance into cliques by joining in against their targets of bullying, by such infiltration then also gain ready access, trust and good standing, into the wider community in order to network new marks for classic affinity scamming as targeting any group of people taking pride in whatever perceived shared identity or characteristics.
Bullies generally prefer to target the socially isolated who are without defenders. Therefore, the simplest and most innocuous thing that can be done by any individual against bullying, is to immediately befriend the target of bullying should one ever, whenever, come upon a bully or bullies bullying. The bully or bullies will then slink away in retreat.
To be sociable and thwart bullies, always stay alert for opportunity to include others, especially those who seem left out and neglected, socially, in activities and conversation.
Get full names and contact information of targets of bullying in order to reach out in secret, to a target of bullying. Then follow up. Conspire with targets of bullying, against the bullies. Include targets of bullying in your social networking.
To reiterate, meekly and most publicly apologizing in wretched mortification for flagrant bullies may even be far more devastating thereto even than actually scolding the bullies however scathingly and soundly, much less actually accommodation or scapegoating and victim blaming. And as a matter of optimal casting for maximal devastation and humiliation of bullies and their vicious cliques, the apologetic spokespersons might be any sort of authority figures and minor celebrities, figures of pathos such as the elderly and infirm, or however passably attractive women.
Alas, however, such opportunity is too haphazard as a reliable solution. And the bullies will only resume their harassment later on. That is why CliqueBusters seeks a comedic systematic approach, by keeping known bullies and their targets under surveillance, to perform such maneuvers consistently, subjecting the bullies to mounting frustration in locating vulnerable targets of abuse at all. Another danger to watch out for is deviously scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility in which different people are prevented and discouraged from contact. It will be important, therefore, to speak truth to power, to thwart malicious gossip by organizing campaigns of counter gossip, sticking up for the unjustly maligned and slandered while discretely facilitating networking, communication and eventual interaction between individuals who would not otherwise have the opportunity, and to teach others the habit likewise. At the very least, targets of cliquish isolation and manipulation are better off with any crucial opportunity simply to compare notes. After all: If your not supposed to talk to me, then what am I not supposed top tell you?!
Also, to better protect the targets of bullying, it will be important for a Clique Busters cell to assimilate the targets of bullying into their peer group, and involve themselves in the day to day lives of said targets of bullying in order to better watch out for them. To raise consciousness, close ranks, and help build such group support as will leave bullies stymied, even ones in authority. Even to adapt such solidarity mimesis as nurses on call facing abusive supervisors have categorized under "Code Pink". (Not to be confused with the better known protest group or with hospital child abduction alerts.)
Again, the reason that bullies retreat at the sight of a target having friends, is because bullies prefer a victim they can isolate. But never a member in good standing accepted by their own immediate social circle, who may be supported when under attack. (Indeed, if future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry, when operational, will, indeed, solve the problem of bullying, quite without any need for the Clique Busters, then, most simply, it will be by social embedment, leaving no stragglers for predation.)
Is clandestine or covert action even however utterly non violent, ever justifiable?
Yes, as an adjunct to more open activism, sometimes when the problem is so bad that lives are destroyed and the victimized left traumatized. Especially when the authorities, or lack (or selective responsiveness) thereof, are part of the problem, then these are by definition conditions of at least relative oppression where an autonomous resistance, underground if need be, may be indicated. Not to rule out officially endorsed Clique Busters, should such opportunity arise. Labor and student organizations may also serve as Strategic Partners or patrons. Clique Busters, should cultivate every legitimacy as a public advocacy or watchdog, wielding intimidating moral suasion, not unlike the Humane Society or the Better Business Bureau.
However, for Clique Busters to respond to requests for help, or even intervene autonomously in any closed or restricted social context, such as a place of employment or school, recruitment must be internal thereto, candidates approached on the outside by supporters of any target of bullying, raising awareness and support for the target of bullying. But outsiders can more readily enter into any social context more open to the public. And there are also many situations where security is low enough for infiltration may even be possible at least long enough to network local recruitment.
Bullying can be subverted in order to backfire on bullies, by whatever exercise in low guile, to expose and humiliate sly, surreptitious and devious bullies while protecting and garnering support for the intended targets of bullying, the very opposite of isolating their targets as typically intended by malevolent bullies.
The simplest of CliqueBusters ops as conceived, are straightforward Transactional Antithesis mostly in order to foil deviously scheming and masterfully socially adept covert relational hostility as may arise, in support of hither to isolated targets of bullying. But any thought of actually manipulating the downfall, public exposure and disgrace of serial bullies or the ouster of abusers of powered their cronies, may actually be considered of in terms of undercover police sting operations to expose malfeasant intentions, or even confidence trickery known as: the con game, more specifiucally the long con or sting, wherein the motivating outside man, whether they are brought in on the op or not, would be any target of bullying and actually therefore beneficiary of intervention.
The inside man would play the role of another bully in order to infiltrate any bullying clique. Optionally, the face may be playing the role of a seemingly pliable and readily manipulated sex object, the spoils of cockblocking and the honor protection racket, such ongoing social scams that CliqueBusters is conceived in response. Bullies, ever open to malicious gossip and malignant conspiracy, proverbially "as thick as thieves" Sadists and braggarts that they are, will always be greedy suckers for Existential Validation and Appeal to Spite, no matter how slippery and cagy they always are otherwise. And their weakness of sheer evil should be continually exploited against them. For Sun Tzu said: "War is deception." Indeed, this is war, not revenge, and as Clausewitz points out, the objective of war is simply to destroy the enemy's ability to do harm, indeed their entire wherewithal and morale thereto.
Just imagine bullies brought to a fever pitch of malicious glee in a completely staged scenario, only then to be brought crashing down again in massive humiliating public exposure, unambiguous rage and contempt. Not only are those of CliqueBusters as conceived, such plainly the most effective known tactics, but being made fools and losing face, is the only way for serial bullies to be made atoned, to be ridiculed and killjoyed of all Sadistic validation and stripped of all ill gotten advantage gained or derived from bullying, indeed the only way in which amoral sociopathic and cognitively dissident hostile serial bullies can ever experience any sensation of shame and accountability before the world for the evil that they commit, so that those victimized will finally be vindicated and the abuse can at long last be halted so that all can live free from fear. All in all, CliqueBusters is the least destructive best strategic and most moral conceivable approach, just the right thing to do and so long overdue.
With covert video for media tie-in, think of 'The Joe Schmo Show', but with an engineered fools paradise for bullies, dashed in their faces at the very height of their Sadistic euphoria.
Targets of bullying, harried and calumniated, need to be befriended and everyone reciprocally isolated by such relentlessly manipulative covert relational hostility, needs to be networked and brought together if only in order to freely compare notes. Ultimately, abusive serial bullies are so vulnerable to public shame and exposure via any effective countergossip from any competitive and well organized counterpropaganda machine, driven by capable infiltration and covert videography exploiting the typical bullies vanity and desperation for approval and validation in turn accounting for their eagerness, when stroked, to brag incessantly of all that they'd never dare confess under any duress. Truly, haven't cliques of serial bullies and cronies been just daring us all for entirely long enough?
Beyond striving peacefully to reduce ones own personal contribution to current harm and suffering of others, there is endeavor at harm reduction via reform of existing conditions by non-violent social, political and economic means, well short of forceful and even violent uprising and destruction: BLOCK IT, BREAK IT, TAKE IT! Direct action consists in non destructive obstruction, destruction of privileged control that turns whatever sort public institution into the property of a few abusers of power, and finally reclamation and expropriation more publically. Support all thereof, may consist in research, intelligence, coordination, logistics and communication, as well as resource acquisition. The building of alternative systems, here consists in networking independently and even the coordination and orchestration of backchannels to mend the isolation and disenfranchisement resultant from covert relational hostility and ostracism. Indirect action consists in promotion, information, consciousness raising and counterpropaganda, art, rallies, agitation, protest, lobbying, and more, along with passive resistance and civil disobedience as applicable.
Remember that when the target tries to get the bullying stopped, or simply begins to do better socially despite the bullying, the bullies will be threatened and jealous, thus abuse predictably escalates, character assassination shifts from the trivial and picayune into the downright ugly, and the target can be put at extreme risk. And this is consistent with the escalation response to Transactional Antithesis by the most entrenched headgamers. Not to mention criminals, who are often only extreme bullies.
And all of this
is another reason intervention by others is key, so that the heat
won't just be all on the bullies' target. Not to mention
weakening the social standing of bullying behavior. Remember that
the bullies will prefer to see only their victimized target as
the problem. That is why they must be afforded greater
problems at all times. All this may seem a ways to go, but such
is hard ball. And why, under any circumstances, whatever realistic
alternatives to Clique Busters, if any, may
well be considered. Because of the danger of escalation in
conflict. Alas, the
problem remains that bullies escalate abuse, also, and no less, even when they
get their way. Because bullying is about incrementally advancing dominance and
abuse, under any circumstances what so ever. There simply is no pleasing tyrants and
Therefore, in case of serious escalation, the situations must be carefully managed in order to explode in the bullies faces all the more spectacularly, so that, truth exposed, they may be that much less driven by the overwhelming compulsion of denial to get away with shit. If nothing else, stubborn bullies must be helped to strip themselves of all copy cat sycophancy and the sheer lunatic "dry drunk" temptation of enablement and impunity for their bullying. Without support, the bully's' abusiveness will only isolate the bully rather than their targets, as it should be and would be in a just and civil society. And the sooner the better for everyone. The bullies included, because outreach may then become more feasible.
If even future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry alone cannot do the job, an isolated bully may then be the more amenable to, and less distracted from, integration into a custom generated local social network, where their deep emotional needs can be addressed, their talents best encouraged, but where they will find no cronies, enablers, or vulnerable bullying opportunities, until such time as the bullies have learned responsibility and empathy.
Will there be bullies too hardened, desperate, amorally sociopathic, self-controlled or clever, to be exposed, deterred or dissuaded by Clique Busters? Answer:
We should assume the worst just to be safe. And, indeed, there are particularly stubborn, facile and well adapted types and tactics populating the bullying circle. Or particularly badly adapted and inflexible bullies. Clique Busters will be just another tool to render the social environment the less amenable to their abusive conspiracies.
There are also more the
violent bullies who must be dealt with to the full extent of the law, and their
targets protected in the mean time.
And there are facile consummate lying and manipulative veritable politicians, who must simply be exposed and defeated politically.
And this may also prove important to the The Green Pro-Space Agenda.
And in Politics of what ever sort, it will be well for Clique Busters to understand the sinister Consensus and Facilitation chicanery known as The Delphi Technique [diagram] and how best to defuse/disrupt it.
Again, the trust of the target of bullying must be well and fully earned by unconditional opposition to bullying, before any even however most minimal added restraint or cooperation be requested from the target of bullying, and even then, most humbly and apologetically, under the circumstances of bullying which, after all, ought make responsible authorities blush. -and in so blushing, so to speak, and as publicly as possible, thereby already engender public disgrace for the bullies.
If any acknowledged adult where
to plainly state words to the effect of: "Thoroughly
bored of your tiresome
intimidation as I have become, nevertheless I take you extremely lightly, my
good fellow, because we both know that if you where ever to raise your hand to
me or anyone else within my sight, I shall certainly fill out a police report
and see it through to criminal charges. But mind your manners, sir, and we might
even get along by ignoring one another." -would that qualify him or her
bullying circle, or
the response as somehow provocative or Masochistic, in any functional adult
society? Indeed, shouldn't the prospect of whatever suitable official complaint
be the expressly preferred deterrence in civil discourse? If threats of
appropriate action are only deemed provocative and mouthy, then is that to admit
that any attempt at negotiation, any warning of appropriate action is wasted, or
worse, are we agreeing with mobsters, that complainants to whatever authorities
are are no better than vermin, nothing but "rats"?
After all, if violence in kind is all we esteem and at all respect, then why be coy about it? Indeed, in one way or another, some or any objection at all will eventually be crucial in salvaging self esteem from humiliation. And for that purpose, simply weeping and bawling openly in public might not quite do. So, exactly how are we to expect people to ever stand up for themselves? A dignified Pacifistic turning of the other cheek, will be ineffective, indeed counterproductive, without conscience or moral suasion to leverage. Do we embrace the typical view of thugs and bullies of complainants as "rats," or do we honor fully all legitimate redress? This question must be pressed, always, to a satisfactory resolution, both as a matter of official policy and informally, socially, by CliqueBusters.
Because, plainly, threat of whatever appropriate official complaint should actually be protected and encouraged both officially and in society at large. Anything less is conditioning to helpless passivity that is part of victim blaming and scapegoating. And in case such is ever undeserved, than the natural response ought to be something on the order of: "Well then go ahead and lodge your complaint if you must. That doesn't frighten me because I obviously haven't done anything wrong." If both the grievance and the objection thereto come in good faith, a heated yet substantive exchange might ensue, even moving towards honest mediation.
Indeed, isn't rational controversy the most civilized and constructive exchange to which any society of autonomous individuals ought to pride and aspire? Do we not value forthrightness? And what is the acceptable response, but likewise? Or do we simply coddle actingout because in actuality, we only offer lip service to our ostensible democratic values? Clique Busters must actually orchestrate open and public validation of free expression of grievance and of whatever applicable due process, not merely in the abstract, but as example cases arise, locally.
Indeed, it should hardly come as any surprise that bullies would be averse to the ideas of free expression of grievance and due process against bullying, or that bullies, criminals and oppressors actively discourage either practice. All the more reason why increased bullying in response to being warned to desist from bullying (in legal terms: retaliation) should be punished most quickly and severely of all, by whatever means are licit. Or else authority becomes an ugly joke. Indeed, any such predictable behavior of bullying can and should be exploited by Clique Busters against bullies at every opportunity, and as repeatedly, publicly and shatteringly as possible. Anything less is sheer impunity for bullying. Because bullying unpunished only persists.
All this being said, nevertheless, what are we to advise the target of bullying, as a real world practical matter, as regards to sticking up to bullies with a fair warning of whatever appropriate redress? Strategically, we might not recommend it unless interest in whatever due process is reciprocal, which would be uncharacteristic of bullying. It is a righteous individual accused that actually demands their due process. Indeed, to be politic, it might be suggested that if the bullies only behave the worse, then clearly they deserve no fair warning. Instead, one unnerving tactic might even be to smile wickedly at the bullies as if one has a secret!
But blaming the target of bullying for being provoked at all is entirely unacceptable no matter what, and be every means must be decisively ruled out, by whatever necessary disruption, before any further discussion. Whatever alleged provocative nuance of the target is no more excuse for bullying than short skirts are for sexual abuse. Any cooperation provided by the target of bullying beyond due process and accordance with the rights of the accused, ought to be treated as an immense favor. That the targets of bullying must deal with bullying is undue and burdensome trouble on the part of the targets of bullying. Never must the target of bullying be rebuked simply for imperfect coping or other such nit picks. No one is perfect and bullying by nature is impossible to cope with. And anyone must first be rescued from danger and abuse before ordinary self improvement can again be seriously considered. Basic protections must never be excused or made contingent upon picayune complaints, much less invented grievances. Any restraint on the part of the target of bullying ought to be appreciated and considered for what it truly is, tremendous grace under fire and an immense favor indeed to the society that has failed in the protection of the individual. The trust of the target of bullying must be well and fully earned by unconditional opposition to bullying, before any even however most minimal added restraint or cooperation be requested from the target of bullying, and even then, most humbly and apologetically, under the circumstances of bullying which, after all, ought make responsible authorities blush. -and in so blushing, so to speak, and as publicly as possible, thereby already engender public disgrace for the bullies.
Again, meekly, obsequiously and most publicly apologizing in wretched mortification for flagrant bullies may even be far more devastating thereto even than actually scolding the bullies however soundly, much less actually accommodation or victim blaming and scapegoating. And as a matter of optimal casting for maximal devastation and humiliation of bullies and their vicious cliques, the apologetic spokespersons might be any sort of authority figures and minor celebrities, figures of pathos such as the elderly and infirm, or however passably attractive women.
Vague impossible and/or expanding demands and/or complaints/accusations, secrecy rather than useful feedback to at all chart one's progress in meeting whatever such demands, reasonable or unreasonable, are all typically all part of setting up the target of bullying for failure as a pretext ominously building up to abuse of power in the form of sanction of whatever sort. A decidedly helpless, maddening and Kafkaesque Paranoid experience. Aesop said: "It is no use pleading when the prosecutor and the judge are one and the same." -As when the whoever takes it upon themselves to define whatever sort of standards are also taking upon themselves to decide who and who does not meet such invented benchmark (however defined or deliberately undefined). And this will tend to be difficult to demonstrate, as such tend to be very slippery and unaccountable.
And hence such ordeal only
accrues the terror, attrition and exhaustion from endless Cat and Mouse
headgames. For authority or peer pressure is well
known evaporate what little
support that the target of bullying may have found within an organization or
hierarchy of whatever sort, as if it where never there at all. Hence, the
best standard advice for targets of bullying is to hold onto sanity,
one, and to take great care not to say anything that might be turned against
one, and to document all interactions, verbal and otherwise, with bullies.
An interlocutor available by phone or email to help the target of bullying keep and organize such a journal or log even by conducting and recording interviews for voice to text transcription might be not only emotionally supportive and validating but actually useful. Indeed, a drop in visit on site for just such might even be intimidating for bullies and their sycophants! Indeed, one effective mode of intervention might be to contact and keep tabs on any target of bullying, to conduct just such ongoing interview and keep records. And, of course, ongoing covert electronic surveillance may also help best cover such vital needs of record creation and maintenance. And there is even The National Bullies Register. (Though it currently seems dormant.)
Clique Busters is conceived to help network all such above vital needs in bullying crisis.
Any target of bullying will also be well advised to locate and secure witnesses and their written or recorded statements to back up one's own testimony of specific experiences or observations. Of course, that would be easier with the help of friends! And for the isolated and harried targets of bullying, Clique Busters, in outreach and recruitment, is conceived to bring those who need it together to provide just such reciprocal assistance.
A target of bullying will also be most fortunate to find support and/or mediation from an outside source to meet with all parties and find some middle ground and even, if all else fails, to help the target of bullying in the pursuit of legal action, perhaps as even under USC 18 Section 241, if only supporting evidence is obtainable.
That, too, should be one of the roles of Clique Busters, but not to the extent of reinventing the proverbial wheel. Rather, a) to serve such function in social contexts and situations where such a thing does not yet exist and probably has not been considered, and b) for outreach, intervention to immediately bring targets of bullying (who might otherwise ill advisedly simply try to weather the storm and hope in vein for things to blow over) together with whatever help exists, is available, and is found to be at all reliable and useful. This will also afford the opportunity for Clique Busters to build ties of common cause to existing and influential associations.
Roots of Empathy actually utilizes regular visits with an infant into the classroom to reduce levels of hostility by teaching social/emotional competence/literacy and empathy in order to effectively help elevate each student's emotional quotient, the quotient between the "emotional age" and the chronological age in order to measure emotional intelligence, how well a person understands emotions, intelligence regarding the emotions, especially in the ability to monitor one's own or others' emotions, particularly as determined by such as the MSCEIT (Meyer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test).
And surely, the above empathy tactics are as benign as it ever gets! So, can there any imaginative context or pretext for wider application? And could such ever be enough alone? Or might it remain safer to maintain a broader array of appropriate tactics against bullying?
Indeed, though already slightly more confrontational, the Bully Fix of Dr. Michael Leeds is an intervention wherein the participants, perhaps also including the targets of bullying too, gather together with the bully in an encounter group, and the bully is made aware of their own bullying behavior by demonstration, by being triggered into such habitual response under the controlled conditions, in order then to have said bullying behaviors lucidly pointed out to the bully. And it does seem only fair, after all.
Now, some bullies, hither to so blithely un-self-aware will be given awkward pause, ultimately to contemplate changing their ways. How wonderful, always! But other bullies, unable to cope, will retreat into denial, and the worst most Narcissistically indifferent will only smile and taunt: "what-cha gonna do about it, chump?" -Or any range between just such brazen flagrantly hostile expression or else slippery subtext still to that same effect.
That us why Clique Busters proposes, if need be, to go any further than the The Bully Fix in so far as to contrive the necessary encounters and dramatic mimesis between bullies and targets of bullying, even without the cooperation of whatever authorities if any, and to at all explore whatever feasible and decent nonviolent prospect of going beyond simply making bullies aware of their behaviors, merely bringing to the attention of bullies their misdeeds, if and as ever need be.
Whereas future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry may be conceived such as to open even to bullies, more meaningful connections than the pathetic Existential co-Validation of their cronies. To provide better compatible matches to better integrate even bullies into society, in order to improve them. But it always pays to have a contingency or an added motivator. And that's where Clique Busters comes in. In case their world must be brought to end, for ours to begin!
That is why the
are to routinely
the cliques of the bullies with operatives under cover feigning approval for
bullying, in order to better maintain surveillance and intelligence gathering.
Let alone, ever by any means or notion, outreach to reform them.
After all, even Harry Seldon (unlike Karl Marx) had a Second Foundation up his sleeve to safe guard his great plan from distortion.
The brilliance of viral marketing future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry will be that even people who do not actively access the system, may still be profiled and matched thereby, from the compiled data anonymously entered by others. Future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry promises more than merely a revolution in software, but a paradigm shift in culture as practiced by all people, facilitating outreach, even to the isolated or victimized. And, if need be, via Clique Busters, perhaps all the better to help bullies by consistently disrupting their bullying. Which is only what a truly civil society ought to do in the first place! Despite the concerns of critics who deem it intrusive to "educate" others. Some bullies, kiss ass that they are, may even take a hint and desist.
Clique Busters will also be important, because, as well as simple harassment and intimidation, bullies conspire and collaborate toward what is now recognized as and termed covert relational hostility, or to coin another description: interpersonal sabotage, or even: social network terrorism. The very opposite motivating goal put forth for anticipated future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry.
Conflict averse cowards have even sunk so far into bullyspeak apologetics as to complain that Clique Busters seeks to bully the bullies, thus sinking to their level, and that two wrongs don't make a right. I counter that the repertoire of Clique Busters techniques and responses are well within the conscience even of Pacifism, turning the tables, throwing the curve ball, playing the Transactional Antithesis, subversively elevating with justice, the mimesis of the bullies from scapegoating into a valuable morality play upon civility. And even then, as intended only for deployment given the failure of compassion, sweet reason and peace making, and as an alternative to the scapegoating, victim blaming and breakdown, conditioning of victims to passivity which so often follows, when there is a failure to stand up to unreasonable bullies who depend upon opposition being so completely wishy-washy.
On the other hand, for those who see resistance to bullies as at least possibly appropriate, but for whatever reason, question the idea of reformation thereof, let thwarting bullies be considered the primary objective, while any moral lesson learned by bullies from being consistently thwarted, behavioral extinction and the Psychiatric breakdown of the adaptation, be considered a possible and welcome added moral victory.
To paraphrase Carl von Clausewitz, Clique Busters is the continuation of civilized policy by different means. Clique Busters is the waging of peace.
Make no mistake, the Ethics and morality of Clique Busters is a very serious consideration. Indeed, is it even possible for any sort of moral code to cover every conceivable circumstance or option? Not to mention that any action, however righteous, may have all manner of unintended and unforeseen consequences and repercussions. So, moral paralysis is not actually so hard to understand.
But as nothing can be perfect, the tactical options of the Clique Busters approach only needs to offer hope of improvement to be worthy of further serious consideration.
Consider also, that whatever the rules of engagement from the onset, in the end people will end up doing things differently, one way or another, according to their own natures. Any human process may evolve or simply go awry! -No matter what safe guards may be undertaken.
History teaches us that there is grave concern in sanction of action against people then for whatever reason classified as destructive, no less than in the alternative extreme of tying the hands of innocent victims.
Yes, life is often intrinsically and inevitably offers only the limited and dubious freedom that is choice of lesser evils. And, so, in any given situation, what are the alternatives? If a viable alternative, one that is not already failed and that is more responsible than Clique Busters presents itself, then, perhaps that ought to take precedence. But passivity and denial only abjure all responsibility, providing enablement for impunity compounding whatever damage.
Predators often declare their vigilante altruism while fallaciously demonizing the competition as predatory. Outreach to assist and protect the vulnerable and the hunt for targets to victimize have so much in common strategically and procedurally, that the latter is so readily rationalized as the former. Alas, much as with career or social advancement generally, even romantic success may more often actually be predicated less upon spontaneity and courtship between free agents and more in grooming of an individual as in: sometimes to train even by behavioral conditioning and brainwash, to at least seemingly befriend and lower emotional defenses, all in development or preparation, as in teaching or mentorship for a specific position, role or purpose. Such grooming of an individual may be undertaken by any individual mentor or patron, or by any wider social circle. Grooming in this sense is distinct from yet may entail "primate grooming rituals" of consensual validation. Whereas social embedment in a functional social circle is beneficial in networking, wherein members genuinely strive to be helpful and supportive in the exchange of contacts and introductions, advantageous and desirable to one another, sinister toxic predatory grooming as typically conducted by bullying cliques may also provide introductions, but in order to exploit the individual sexually and emotionally in flagrant hypocritical self-service, only via immersion and cultlike isolation within the group, all steeped in conditionality and indoctrination, following whatever seldom stated exploitative ulterior agenda in grooming suitable candidates into their orbit for whatever roles of subordinacy and victimization or complicity and enablement, and driving others apart by whatever manipulative intrigues and intimidation. Standard Pimpology: Isolate and dominate.
Serial Relational Bullies may also be said by terrorizing and socially isolating their targets of bullying, to be grooming them only for escalating stages of hostility and abuse. Not long suppressed, always testing to see just how much they can get away with, the stages of hostility steadily escalate from preaggressive behavior of inroads and encroachment upon personal boundaries indifferent towards the rights of another and generation of a hostile social environment, into whatever individual or collective pattern of overt and covert hostility.
"It's for your own good, dear" Hypocritical cockblockers ever feigning knight errantry, blithely demonize competing suitors, often grooming their vulnerable targets of exploitation, sometimes even going so far as pandering to dysfunctional family of the target for grooming and exploitation, not by social support or acts or kindness for the needy, but by closing ranks with the most socially accepted and destructive, even potentially violent, of all cockblockers, abusively domineering and possessive parents.
All manner of criminal predators when entering any new social environment, always seek out influential cliques and curry cronyistic abused power for assistance and protection, by running the affinity scam: pandering to any group of people taking pride in whatever perceived shared identity or characteristics, hence good standing and trust to be exploited within the group, plus with bullying cliques, common enemies, vulnerable targets of bullying already isolated and dystressed, veritably served up on a silver platter.
A crony is a friend, associate, or a person who works for someone in authority, especially one who is willing to dishonestly exchange howsoever immoral and unethical help and assistance, toxic grooming and generally rigging the game under any hypocritical pretense. There is tremendous advantage in hypocrisy, being: the imposition of constrictive norms that diminish fitness to thrive and are difficult and costly for others to violate, but not you. Cronyism is partiality to long-standing association, in all manner of collusion, but especially by appointment to positions of authority regardless of qualification. Hence, cronyism exists when the appointer and the beneficiary are in social contact and particularly when therefore as all too often, the appointer is inadequate to hold his or her own job or position of authority, and for this reason appoints individuals who will never try to weaken them or even express views contrary to those of the appointer. Indeed, in the words of Pietro Verri, Precetti di Caligola a Claudio (1786): “I do not advise to choose individuals infamous for their dissoluteness and discreted by the people, but I advise you to choose mediocre men, of dubious morals, secretly depraved such that they execute what is ordered without any ambiguity.”
Hence, all cronyism, so often actually
punishing of excellence, is mediocre and contrary in practice and principle to
Indeed, in local politics, when the masses of the electorate remain attached to
long-standing association, far from benefitting from any corruption, the masses
of the electorate simply suffers from too much pity to effectively fire dear
friends who are nevertheless incompetent public servants though
groomed as pillars of the
community, from their accustomed positions of power. Let us dub that phenomena:
popular cronyism, more oppression propagating amongst the oppressed. For all
these reasons, politically, the very word 'cronyism' is generally disparaging.
in business comes increasingly to depend upon close
relationships between business people and government officials, this is crony
capitalism. Totalitarianism is seen to begin when blatant cronyism and brazen
corruption not only dominate but officially emerge into the open. This first
stage of dictatorship is often called: economic Fascism.
But cronyism need not be governmental at all. Cronyism in principle may occur relative to any conceivable abuse of power, even however private sector and even quite unofficial. Indeed, the further from government cronyism manifests, and the less actually at stake in the larger scheme of things, therefore all the greater determination of cliquish cronies to dominate and, for all intents and purposes, to govern oppressively. And such cliquish cronyism therefore tends all the more to monopolism, with tremendous investment in the suppression and destruction of free competition, socially, of all genuine spontaneity in very principle, by whatever disruption, intimidation and abuse of power and covert relational hostility necessary to the task, hence all too often, from the depths of self-serving hypocrisy, the most insane killjoy prudery, rampant cockblocking and brutal slut shaming of typical sexual trade unionism. In short, bullying cliques exist in order to provide manipulative and domineering bullies with reciprocal support and assistance in the cultivation and maintenance of controlling and exploitative relationships.
Cronyistic backbiting and covert relational hostility undermine reputation and hence the quest for recognition, obscuring the true character and value of the target of bullying from public perception, assuring as a consequence, social isolation and powerless unmet needs, generally preventing redistribution of opportunity. Such is the conduct of cliques of bullies who just don't think that life is fair unless they have everything and all others have nothing, not even one another, so that two complete newbies must never dare so much as shake hands until properly introduced, much less set a hot date! Such bullying cliques exist only in order to position themselves as the efrctive gatekeepers in the proverbial only game in whatever metaphorical town, so that all others must become cronies too, perpetually currying their favor for acceptance, access and connections, business, social and romantic.
All such pervasive, ubiquitous and banal cronyism
panders to and exploits actual human
motivation that is often neither from
arousal in whatever the doing for its own sake, nor even merely
for whatever hoped for payoff. For people by in large are neither just
impulsive nor are they opportunistic and/or cautious rational agents. Rather their compelling
motivation may turn out to be such as will be
found in whatever their perception of vested interest, of which even
the ongoing self justification, however deranged and
hypocritical, that is
Validation is only an aspect. Vested interest is whatever personal stake
or special interest in protecting or promoting that whereof derives howsoever
perceived personal benefit or advantage. And the
of cronyism naturally heighten that perception. Even what little that passes for
moral restrictions at all, may largely
reflect the individual vested interest in whatever social order that in turn at
all both intimidates and protects said individual by whatever much the same
credible threat. People often become
motivated only by buying
into indoctrination, by internalizing
motivators, one way or another into
whatever particular investment of sacrifice. And people are notoriously
reluctant to let loose of past sacrifice invested, no matter how clearly in
vein. Otherwise, should indoctrination and
sublimation fail, coercion alone accrues
alienation and depression. And this is why
faith is so prized:
Because it promotes the
illusion of belonging.
Whatever is ever truly invested in the individual may reflect what is vested in said individual by others. In particular, in a truly functional circle of friends, networking by others on behalf of an individual ideally best and most straightforwardly serves the interests, preferences, needs and desires of said individual in true and abiding autonomy supportive respect. Alas more often, within the attachment disordered racket of exploitative cliques, there arises considerable moral hazard, being: circumstances in which one party, with impunity, insulated from risk, is prone to act on another's behalf expending whatever that other's resources, tangible or intangible, in advance of entirely any other agenda than simply the best interests, preference, needs and desires of the individual ostensibly served. And the individual so exploited, in rationalizing cognitive dissonance often simply makes do actually because of their own fearful prior investment of sacrifice and vested interest accrued. Thus are individuals so often manipulatively deceived, brought together or wedged apart for various scheming exploitative advantage of amoral sly self serving sociopathic Relational Bullies, hypocritical gang stalking predatory cockblockers and worse. And aside, for good or ill, from networking within whatever fateful social embedment, there remain whatever readily available alienating and lonely avenues of futile outreach that truly only exist for whatever socially institutionalized ulterior agendas and rackets.
Cliquishness is all about driving wedges between different people. Particularly but not limited to those assimilated, isolated, abused and exploited within the herd/cult-like clique, and those ostracized, isolated, abused and exploited on the margins of the social network, once the bonds of sociability have been eroded away. Tactics and rationalizations of covert relational hostility and disorientating ambient or stealth abuse. Only the more volatile and hypocritical where sex and Sexism are involved, but essentially no different.
In order to advance their standing, Bullies may lay in wait for others to slip up. Ah, but bullying itself is no faux pas, precisely because it is maliciously deliberate. Of course, this flies in the face of the opposing ideals of Civility, where in, on the contrary, honor and esteem accrue in actually helping one another to save face, especially in matters of little moment.
Slut shaming extorts terrified passive bystanding from women, then taken as accent by silence, in order to permit cockblocking of prospective romantic rivals. In turn, via the engineering of sheer malignant propinquity cockblocking socially isolates women within cliques of slut shaming cockblocking bullies and cronies. Conniving and domineering cockblockers are self righteous and pimp-like, in that they cultivate influence by controlling associations between others. Just such covert relational bullies, as moralistic self appointed chaperones and gate keepers, are quick to portray themselves as public servants and their targets as paranoid delusional cases who actually bring their difficulties upon themselves. Thus hypocritical covert relational bullies love to seize the high moral ground in the most shameless faux night errantry, by intervening unasked supposedly on behalf of any third parties, often taken by surprise and startled into silence, in order to publicly treat the target of bullying, whom the bullies actually hound, as a pest. But among the leading causes of feelings of persecution, remains actual persecution. And far from bearing any underlying redeeming agenda, cockblocking abusive covert relational bullies hate their scapegoats and competitors the more should they succeed socially then should they fail.
Generally impugning motive and thus leaving grievance the more vague and damaging, rebuff of the target of bullying is cited to reinforce the depiction of the targeting of bullying as a pest and an undesirable, while positive response to outreach on the part of the target bullying is cited to reinforce depiction of the target of bullying as predatory or a bottom feeder, depending upon the social standing of the other party.
There are those who investigate the universe and those who investigate the human condition. But a sycophantic bully only needs to know which way the wind blows. Bullies deal fabricated social reality of consensus manipulation. And no one is ever expected to double check malicious gossip. No matter how vague, suspect, or damaging. Truth and justice are not even values in play, but actually taboo. And yes, it would seem that one pariah can, indeed, contaminate another pariah, in the warped sensibility of bullythink! Indeed, the cliquish mentality is well known for it's scorn towards all who would offer aid and comfort to the targets of bullying. Anyone who even begins to accept the target of bullying will often be deemed one way or another helpless, fragile, callow and naive at best, and in urgent need of rescue or warning! -And, of course, the sense of all such memetically adversative "warning" is always purposefully ambiguous, as whether this is a simple caution regarding the target of covert relational hostility, however vague, dishonest, untrue, malicious and unjust, or domineering and cynically controlling peer pressure, a very, very thinly veiled threat indeed, to deter all others from free association with the target of covert relational hostility; while speaking of "rescue" or "protection" is obliviously euphemistic in obfuscation and rationalization of a possessive sense of appropriation or, failing that, destructive sense sabotage and vandalism of sociable conductivity, motivated by a deep seated jealous rage.
Hence social blunders may even be deemed the less intrusive than successful connection. Bullying covert relational hostility is then justified as pro-social vigilantism! Obsessive dedication in covert relational hostility and Harassment is then seen as socially constructive and, by just such victim blaming, scapegoating becomes self justifying. The awkward stigma and suffering of outcast state, social isolation, unpopularity, even involuntary celibacy, is typically most roundly mocked and virulently reviled by the very serial Relational Bullies and relentless character assassins who so often deliberately cause or exacerbate the problem in the first place with such utter impunity. And of course serial bullies will typically only resent the target of bullying the more should nevertheless they ever succeed, romantically or otherwise, than when they only fail. Indeed, fanatical and sanctimonious bullies, instead of tiring and losing interest in their malicious sport, often come to actually feel themselves weary and burdened by their scapegoats and by the obligation of sheer tiresome and wasted effort of unremitting persecution! For, in the words of Bernard Shaw, "When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."
Bullies, then, are consistent in their unremitting behavior, but their actual conduct belies their own habitual excuses and rationalizations. Because, shameless Relational Bullies not only opportunistically leap into action to rub salt in every wounds of incidental awkward rejection and to search and destroy even in advance, all opportunities of the target of bullying for interpersonal networking, but will go to any shocking or devious lengths to disrupt any and all positive interactions with the target of bullying as ever they may still arise. Be the aforesaid third parties known at all to the bullies or even complete strangers, unscrupulous would be suitors and playas, jealous cockblocking Transactional schlemiels actingout, or often even bizarre and prudish loony ideologues on the attack.
All therefore, Clique Busters infiltration remains an important consideration because, unlike overt harassment, much of destructive covert relational hostility is orchestrated and carried out behind the targets' backs. Cliquish bullying is no vast government conspiracy, but entirely grassroots and widespread malignanct conspiratorial malice and self serving, the lowest common denominator of human nature.
Extensive personal manipulation is contrived and practiced to promote specific patterns of behavior and emotion, who and what one must approve or disapprove, together assimilate or ostracize, in such a way that it appears responsive and situational, while it actually has been prompted and orchestrated by the ring leaders of the controlling clique. The individual within the clique then increasingly develops the psychology of the pawn, and participates actively in the manipulation of others. Peer pressure and reinforcement legitimizes the deception and abuse used to influence and bully others.
This is why open and publicly visible freedom of association, the very motivated goal ever put forth of Clique Busters, is also crucial to tempting victims out from abusive relationships; even although, primarily, Clique Busters is conceived of as to serve targets of bullying who want nothing what so ever to do with the bullies hounding them.
Nevertheless, bullies also sexually and emotionally exploit victims whom they draw in and isolate within their cult-like cliques. When a cult or a clique is recruiting, they only give the prospective recruit a little information at a time and lead them along in an environment they control, so that one never is availed of any opportunity to look too closely at the big picture that no one in their right mind and good conscience could ever fall for. If anyone has manipulated you into cognitive dissonance, then deep down you already sensed their dishonest malice in that somehow you knew not to question them to closely. ]
Beware the insidious and ubiquitous cult of socialization replete with exhortations to heteronomy for the sake of social success: Socialization is the process of Behavioral Modification by which norms and expectations are not so much informed or explained but, well, to be honest, indoctrinated into the individual, in order that by means of uncomprehending behavioral motivators, extrinsic motivation, attitudes, values and taboo, are all blithely internalized. -Ever so crucial in order to function in society, so we are all assured. "It's for your own good, dear!" But what if one gets socialized by complete douche bags? Well, that is where utter tools come from: the memetic propagation of complete douche baggery! So, never be socialized by complete douche bags!
8. the cliquish community standards become the ONLY standards available
for self-evaluation under disorientation via ambient or stealth abuse.
By the conditionality of meeting emotional needs only given the desired responses, peer pressure of negative conditioning and even emotional tear town against undesired response and awkward begged questions and generally obstructing and discouraging error checking, the technique of graduated indoctrination can be employed, with continual repetition, so as to gradually reshape the subject's belief's or position. Most commonly, whatever innocuous seeming truisms may be utilized initially as a starting point, and then the behaviors and rationalizations thereof of the clique are slowly and stealthily introduced and connected thereto, unexamined. In this way, the individual subject may be coaxed to perceive the righthink the peer group as consistent with their own own habits, personal boundaries and perceptions, no matter how jarring and suspicious it all might have been, had the proverbial cards all been laid out on the metaphorical table from the beginning, instead.
And in case any of the above threaten to become too transparent, then often find added thereto, like sly, deceptive, manipulative strangers with candy, the trollish exploitation of confidence online or offline alike.
All of the above is why it can be of great value for clique infiltration to also serve as a covert outreach to maneuver the exploited into forbidden contact with the target pariahs, to begin comparing notes, even bonding and even perhaps someday to benefit from future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry.
Infiltration into bullying cliques that are so often a first line of isolation shielding a private world of exploitative relationships, may also prove a valuable avenue for covert outreach and needed intervention and victims assistance from all manner of abuse. And so, Clique Busters should also coordinate with victim's rights advocacies and initiatives against relationship and domestic abuse.
The Clique Busters Zen, the moral bottom line, is, if you ever met an isolated, abused and exploited individual, would you friendship them and try to help them out from abuse, isolation and exploitation? And would you ever go out of your way to do it again on purpose? And would you ever do so discretely, if that where called for? Even to the point of humoring and deceiving control-freaks who are known to consistently run interference?
It is common sense enough advice to be circumspect, and give bullies enough rope to hang themselves, when they talk like bullies. To swallow ones ire, and even prompt them to continue. But often that simply isn't enough for proving malfeasance or acquiring crucial intelligence. And this is a very serious matter.
Little Brother is watching right back! Indeed, the whole world's watching.
Optionally, all interviews, infiltration, response tests, events as they unfold and so much more, can all be covertly recorded electronically. Of course, this constitutes a violation of privacy. Just as good street lights violate the essential privacy of muggers and burglars! No, damn it, abuse and conspiracy thereof is not part of the legitimate privacy of the abuser. Much as their sycophants will complain.
And, as a legal argument, we all record our experiences in our brains anyhow. Including conversation, how we sound out others, no less than whatever we actually do or witness. And this is within our rights. Better recording our own experiences electronically, even secretly, is distinct from planting bugs to invade privacy in order learn what happens when we are not there. (A far more difficult moral quandary.) We have the right to keep and to share records for our own strategic defense, and for the defense of others. To participatory cultivation of better information resources than the poison grapevines controlled by bullies. But I leave technological deployment issues to the individual conscience and legal precedents as they unfold.
Courts, incidentally, may tend to be even friendlier to the admission in to evidence of covert electronic surveillance by by witnesses to or participants in events and conversations in public venues, than where it to be from within any sort of personal residence where greater expectations of privacy might at all obtain. And that has included, for example, self incriminating bragging bullies at restaurant outings.
But of course, laws vary between jurisdictions. Massachusetts recording laws in particular, are the closest to anyone's worst fears, fortunately contested, constitutionally. The biggest problem, legally, is that whereas an individual targeted and singled out for bullying, might naturally be guided to pursue action as against discrimination, bullying fits poorly under legal definitions of discrimination in most of the world, because that's got it backwards: Only in Ireland is discrimination by minority or class recognized, rather, as a special case of bullying. Instead perhaps USC 18 Section 241 might better serve, if only supporting evidence is obtainable.
Whatever strategies to be pursued, Clique Busters, conceived among other things, as an electronic sleuth-it-yourself reciprocal assistance circle for isolated targets of bullying, would already serve as a great help. The Clique Busters Zen, the moral bottom line, is, if you came upon abuse of whatever sort, the act, preparation, or the conspiracy, while a ready camcorder happened to be on your person, would you, even in secret, press the button to record? If yes, then would you ever go out of your way, seeking to ever do it on purpose? Indeed, might you ever need anyone to do as much for you?
Big Brother is watching. But Little Brother is watching back! Welcome to the surveillance society. You can even borrow the equipment and facilities as needed, much the way one checks out books from the local library, by joining your local Cable Access channel and thereby becoming an independent cable access producer. The genie is well out of the bottle. Let's make good from it. There are powerful applications to counterpropaganda, and if need be, legal evidence, to oppose bullies decisively. And they might never back down and desist unless and until they know we mean business. Indeed, the warning signs of bullying can also be captured on camera for the added persuasion of pathos.
Moreover, there may also be the open brandishment of camcorders and the like, to intimidate wrong doing and hearten opposition. A matter for prudent judgment, however, should discretion prove the better part of valor.
In any case, Clique Busters is not dependant upon that technology. Only likely enhanced by it. Also, there may yet even be the prospect of lucrative Reality TV rights.
If the target seems isolated and vulnerable, harassment will ensue. Or, conversely, if the target initiates contact, or if contact is initiated with the target, covert relational hostility and even overt harassment will ensue. The behavioral responses of bullies are predictable, and they can be entrapped in carefully staged sting operations, appealing anti-bullying behaviors that spectators, both interested and unwitting, will be encouraged to learn and to imitate. Thus will a new behavioral structure be provided.
outmaneuvered consistently, will no longer be able to exploit the civilized
restraint and vulnerability of the target of bullying.
Indeed, if the right buttons can be pressed, a bully can be manipulated into eruptions of temper and loose face completely without dragging anyone down except for other collaborating bullies. But even that may be deemed less poetic justice, seeing as how perfectly nice people can and are also incited to loss of temper. Yet it may still be an important strategic option. For clear and distinct poetic justice that unambiguously demonstrates the point, ignoble thwarted bullying should clearly be the cause of a bully's public temper tantrum and loss of face, unmasking the inner ugliness and immaturity of a facile bully to public scorn.
Otherwise, any mere taste of their own medicine, may do no more than sink to their own level, and make little point, indeed, just as the most facile and gutless critics of Clique Busters have opined. Bullies can and do already bully one another, after all. So, are such slippery tactics right and just? Yes, in self defense. Certainly when the bully initiates the conflict, and seeks to harmfully manipulate the target of bullying.
The standard and proper ethical standard regarding entrapment is that the sting ought to be invalidated in cases of anyone being coerced or drawn into something that one would not otherwise do. For example, even a Vice Cop posing as a prostitute must lay in wait for suspects already seeking to break the law rather than actually tempting the innocent astray. For devilishly leading dupes astray, hounding law abiding citizens, or even manipulatively fabricating opportunities and temptations that are unusual and unrealistic, drawing those who would otherwise never have transgressed, and even exerting pressure, is rightly criticized that such ought to be out of bounds for any subsequent prosecution.
Likewise, what would be excessive might be to really hound and peer pressure anyone until they gave way, implicated themselves by joining into wrong doing, and then, say, to actually blackmail them. For such, indeed, is a common criminal and fascist political scam. However, triggering the knee-jerk responses of bullies against their targets of bullying, in staged scenarios, sting operations, in order to exploit their paranoia of public exposure against them, can fall well within the envelope which is the entire point. If, and only if, bullies are already on the attack, then let it be in the time and place of our choosing, better than theirs, and with preparation, to regain the initiative, which is the ability to make credible threat.
Sun Tzu said: “Be mysterious!”
It is important to always present bullies with the opposite of what they are counting on. To read them the riot act when they laugh up their sleeves, expecting one to swallow one's rage. But then one must stay calm when they are trying to get one's goat. Clique Busters, after all, is about regaining the all too crucial initiative.
Emotional quotient is the quotient between the "emotional age" and the chronological age in order to measure emotional intelligence, how well a person understands emotions, intelligence regarding the emotions, especially in the ability to monitor one's own or others' emotions, particularly as determined by such as the MSCEIT (Meyer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test).
Another Clique Busters strategic option may be to actually egg on bullies, in such a way that it will be obvious that they are being set up, and ridiculing them in the process. As they come to resent this, they may actually be conditioned to become suspicious and resentful of the attention, support and Existential co-Validation they crave for bullying. Such tactics may be most effective in reconditioning with followers, blistering outright sheeple, the "mobbing" and shunning copycat bullies and often characterized by underdeveloped emotional intelligence as opposed to the narcissistic indifference more typical of their ring leaders.
In a carefully controlled and orchestrated scenario, imagine repeatedly actually setting up bullies, egging on a bully, but progressively in an ever more a loud crass publicly mocking manner, ever more clearly at the bully's expense, there by conditioning the increasingly uneasy bully to actually mistrust enablers and instigators! That might be particularly good for copycat bullies, together with open discussion to help them gain the desired perception and perspective with regards to their conduct, and how they might actually appear to others they ever might ever hope to impress.
In other words, by orchestration and subterfuge, to actively condition by humiliation and shaming, the clear and distinct impression that bullying is actually ignominious, an unworthy conduct marked by and attended upon by discreditable public contempt, until the behavior pattern abates and is redeemed by change to the better.
While bullying can be a very public display, even so, bullies are often very sneaky. Or they just have sheer unmitigated brass and show no empathy or conscience, smugly playing it off like nothing at all. Such bullies are all about getting away with bullying.
And once a potential target of bullying exhibits social constraint or responsibility, never mind intimidation outright, the bully quickly realizes that, particularly in sheer bullying mimesis, he or she can safely maneuver the situation to the very brink of disgrace. The reticence of the target of bullying may arise from out of whatever reluctance, shock, paralysis, inability, situational deadlock, typical of "let's you be reasonable" headgames or conditioning, even authoritative deliberate remedial socialization and expectations, formal or informal. Counting upon the integrity of the victim's constraints to keep them both from tumbling over, the bully stands on the crumbling edges of socially acceptable behavior, agitating and pressing the target of bullying either to misstep and cross the line or else to effectively submit to ongoing and protractedly escalating of syndromes of shunning and mobbing, abuse and distress because the target of bullying will often be in jeopardy, one way or another, should they give way to being baited.
But, otherwise, submission only reinforces the behavior of an unpunished bully. The target of bullying exhibits an anxious vulnerability. The situation of mimesis is engineered wherein the target of bullying is set up as an easy target for later ongoing victimization and scapegoating. The target of bullying suffers severe painful traumatic stress, fear and loss of control, that must eventually impair performance and achievement, a detriment and danger all to often underestimated in ongoing denial. Indeed, with the rise of youth violence, so too has the suicide rate increased.
Worse, any perceived failure of the target of bullying to stick up for themselves tends to make others highly uncomfortable, thus the target of bullying will not be well liked, exacerbating social isolation. And it will be often true, as is often said, that the one shunned, indeed, has an attitude problem or just whatever indistinct bad vibe. After all, who wouldn't? Because bullying and shunning rapidly bring on the onset of depression, to paranoia if not actual hypervigilance, bitterness, misanthropy and other such acute mental conditions of distress. Obviously, people tend to keep their distance from such a one for fear that what they have might be contagious (which, indeed, it more often is), or for the sheer repulsiveness of their company, or for the rational fear of being associated with them.
And, alternatively, the target of bullying will typically only be the more resented as a spoilsport for lashing back in their own defense.
If anything at all can be learned from observation, it is that whatever the price will be extracted for avoiding becoming such a wretch, it will most often be accepted.
Hence, the targets of bullying
will be rejected not only by the bully but their peers as well, drastically
limiting the pool of potential social or business contacts. In other words, the
covert relational hostility
is already well under weigh. And without
connection and amid the anonymity of
the masses, dangerous
apathy is vastly exacerbated and assertive
honesty so badly undermined by social
loafing. After all, at any moment and under any circumstances, anyone may be
pressed and cowed into hesitation and silence for fear that to speak up may reflect poorly,
exercise futility, bring adverse consequences or even do
Generally, social, residential, familial, scholastic, professional needs, prior investment or circumstances compel the target of bullying into dealing with the bully at all, one way or another. Otherwise, given any better free choice, the target of bullying might very well simply prefer to disengage and just put all unpleasantness out of mind. More over, world view, composure, presence of mind under fire, and social skill level and available resources might not provide the target of bullying viable alternatives beyond either submission or steady escalation of ongoing conflict on every level.
Bullying, like evil generally, is simple that way. And most advantageous to the evil doer. Hence, evil succeeds and propagates. Because collaboration among evil doers likewise comes naturally, along the path of least resistance, so long as evil people generally covet what they can get or keep from those whom they victimize but fear one another at all.
And that is why collaboration in bullying, among other evils, must be continually disrupted at every level of any open society or culture of respect. Clique Busters is conceived to attempt the ongoing disruption of bullying in ordinary day to day life, where the need has always been great and sorely neglected, and even to egg on the bullies to misstep, once and for all, and to reap the embarrassment that they have sown. Clique Busters pretty much follows the definition and characterization as laid out in the in the Bully/Victim Problems document, but goes beyond the prescribed solution, in seeking to institutionalize change societally, even if reform will not come from the top down as is often generally assumed.
Hence, Clique Busters proposes independent investigation, intervention, consciousness raising and even covert counter-conspiracy.
But any benevolence, by contrast with exploitation, quickly runs into Entropy. Benevolence of any kind expends personal resources (even just time and compassion) and stalls upon their depletion. And benevolence also depends upon the receptivity and cooperation of the intended beneficiary.
At worst, benevolence opens the benefactor's own vulnerability to predators and parasites. But even short thereof, the intended beneficiary may prove to one degree or another unresponsive for any number of reasons:
First of all, that the most needy and vulnerable are somehow so easy to find by exploitative bullies, but so hard to find and then to connect with for help, intervention or even sympathy. And that even then, benevolence may be in any degree misguided or inadequate, in any degree missing or falling short of the actual or self-perceived needs of the intended beneficiary. But also because the more that bullying threat and manipulation have rendered a vulnerable target's responses amenable to predation, exploitation and parasitism, the less amenable and competent their responses are to opportunity and help because ongoing threat and protractedly escalating of syndromes of shunning and mobbing and covert relational hostility, may tend to erode one's instincts and intuition. And, all to often, opportunity will be fleeting while tribulation will remain incessant.
Likewise, helping oneself to begin with, may often entail effort and discomfort, especially taxing to anyone already distraught from bullying/predation/ exploitation/ parasitism. And this may still apply no less even given however valuable the offer of whatever outside advice, assistance or resources.Additionally, benevolence may easily face all manner of relentless direct third party sabotage, at little cost or risk to the saboteur, no matter whatever their vested interest or motivation in mimesis or just completely actingout may be. Not to mention, in the worst case, should the intended beneficiary turn out to be, in actuality, one sort of deceptively parasitic bully or another with whatever ulterior agenda or dysfunction. -Or indeed, even n the very worst malignant optimism of the abused, any sort of submissive Masochist, exactly the weakest link in the chain that all fear to close ranks with, always pulling their punches, supplying aid and comfort to their own enemies, actually seeking only validation of a yearning for the guidance and approval of their very tormentors, and not simply to be at long last well rid of the abusers and put an end to protractedly escalating of syndromes of shunning and mobbing, abuse. Of course, to further confuse matters, bullies, like rapists, often love to characterize targets of bullying as veritable Masochistic partners in courtship, no matter how unwelcome the bullies Sadism in actuality. And where others move tentatively for fear of whom to trust, and network with great difficulty, bullies flock together like birds of a feather, ever up to no good.
In summation, for optimal
success, benevolence requires adequate resources, best receptivity,
adaptability to the needs of the beneficiary and capable amenable response on
the part of the intended beneficiary. Predators will always find the vulnerable
friends, allies, do-gooders and protectors. There are several reasons:
Good and evil limit one another differently. Survival for all depends upon some upper limit upon evil. Within that envelope, every benevolence is often frustrated by intractable resistance. Do-gooders expend dwindling resources, whereas successful predators profit and proliferate. Good is fostered by reciprocity, often thwarted by defection (non reciprocation) networking difficulties and logistical obstacles often maliciously exacerbated, as well as day to day drains on personal and public resources and capital. Do-gooders network with difficulty, whereas the evil connects and cooperate readily and entrench themselves. And the vulnerable may be slow and inept to respond to help, whereas successful predators experience far less obstacles or scruples, and cooperate very smoothly, being well motivated by Sadism and personal gain.
For good to overcome evil, these ubiquitous gaps must be fit and closed. Cost effective and sensible deterrence of evil at it's most petty must also be addressed, and not only the most drastic response as reserved against the most monstrous of deeds. Reciprocal networking must be improved and outreach to the vulnerable and abused must each be improved, routinely.
And all of that inevitably tends to become exceedingly daunting and complicated. All in all, it's easy to understand Nietzsche's dread of responsibility and Altruism. -Of getting dragged in and sucked down with the drowning more often than saving them successfully. And this may apply to whatever familial and other responsibilities, without assuming additional burdens of charity or civic mindedness. However, reciprocity, reciprocal benevolence, mutual support of one kind or another, may improve sustainability over one sided benevolence. But attempts to build reciprocity may only tend to be even more complicated and vulnerable. So much so, that one may even be better off to do good works without expectation and the vulnerability of over extending oneself.
Sun Tzu said: there is no loss worse than that of the initiative relinquished. And initiative means the power to create threats.
The side with the initiative
is usually also attacking. Against a threatening enemy, one has not only has the
right but the obligation to attack upon any sign of weakness or opening. If one
can create threats the enemy is weakened. This should be self-evident, and
expected of the enemy. Yet many tend towards contempt of weakness and assume
that one must have made some mistake to be put in any position of weakness. But
clearly, and as we have seen in
scapegoating, this can be vastly unfair
because the side with the initiative controls the course of events. But keeping
the initiative even when over matched requires creativity, whereas the opponent
only has to react to threats. And yet, in everyone's experience, attacking is easier than
defending, and, what is more, errors in defending tend to be more fatal,
typically leading to defeats or great loss of resources. While errors in
attacking usually only lose the initiative -- which, or course, in the long term
may lead to defeat.
The defender has less alternatives in choosing a plan. One might think that the effort of defense would therefore be easier, whereas, actually, choosing the right plan may be much more difficult for the defender. And this applies to all constructive endeavors including Altruism and Reciprocity. Because it is always easier to destroy than to build and thereby to put oneself on the defensive. Indeed, trying to help at all often principally entails seeking to counteract some harm, to defend against a destructive threat, in one sense or another. And it may often be unclear how best to endure, whereas there may be several ways for an attacker to win. Indeed, mounting, compounded and unforeseen dangers for anyone harassed and isolated by bullies.
Many brilliant attacks have proven better defendable only from hindsight, because the defender could have gained the advantage with some imaginative response. Indeed, any target of bullying will have many occasions to regret a missed strategic opening of one sort or another, lost in the disorientation and heat of the moment, which is always so much to the bullies' advantage and must be turned against them.
In theory, every attack is over-optimistic; in practice, attacks are most likely to decide the outcome. Being proactive means being willing to win, which may make all the difference in many situations, if anything will at all.
On the other hand, and seemingly contrary to Sun Tzu, the strategist Carl von Clausewitz actually emphasized the strategic aspects of defense. Because however strongly an offensive may start out, it inevitably weakens as it advances from its original base. Indeed, in the famous words of Clausewitz's disciple Helmuth von Moltke the Elder: "No battle plan survives contact with the enemy." And yet, as Dwight D. Eisenhower so shrewdly points out, though plans are nothing, nevertheless planning is everything: The need to maintain the lines of supply and communications and to sustain numbers on the offense, which in this context must amount not only to keeping up unremitting harassment but also to reinforcing and sustaining social barriers to isolate the target of covert relational hostility, and moreover, to maintain all of these operations in an ever changing social environment. An ongoing and substantive effort which eventually may begin to show strain and degrade the aggressor clique's force. Because, indeed, even mimesis relies upon strength and coordination. Meanwhile, the defender target of bullying can fall back upon the sources of his strength, if any. Or, as is is all to often, if not, this is precisely where Clique Busters can come in, to fill that gap, to step in and provide any crucial emotional and tactical support to targets of bullying.
And every offensive, however victorious, has a "culminating point." If the defender has enough time and space in which to recover, the aggressor inevitably reaches a point at which they must themselves take up the defense. For if they push too far, as bullies are wont, the equilibrium may even be shifted against them. -Especially considering how public opinion is more likely to favor the strategic defender, since significant conquests by one contender will threaten everybody else. Eventually, the conqueror will reach a "culminating point of victory" at which his successes may be exploited to provoke sufficient counteraction to defeat him.
The aggressor, in their own retreat, must be prevented from drawing on the defender's usual sources of strength--physical or psychological. In other words, Clique Busters must redouble efforts to undercut support for entrenched bullies at such times. For at the tactical level, Carl von Clausewitz was impressed by the advantage of entrenchment. Indeed, the the essence of the defense is waiting: waiting until the attacker clarifies his own intentions; waiting until the balance of forces shifts; waiting for any improvement in the defender's situation, whether from the culminating process described above, from outside intervention, from mobilization of their own resources, or from some chance development. Time is almost always on the side of the defender, but not of the defenseless. For waiting, however, does not imply mere passivity, and a passive defense is not at all what Clausewitz was describing. His vision of any effective defense was profoundly active. If the defense functions essentially as a shield, it is best "a shield made up of well-directed blows." And then defense must shift at some point to the offense, the "flashing sword of vengeance." Thus it is easy to find in 'On War' isolated quotations which seem to glorify the offensive. It is nonetheless the interaction of the two forms that concerned Clausewitz who strongly emphasized the initiative of the ensuing pursuit, permitting the infliction of disproportionate losses upon the loser.
After all, bullies often retreat strategically, and the target of bullying can only be glad for any respite that they have achieved. Indeed, misplaced and civilized equanimity may be manipulatively exploited to render any however more vengeful options actually distasteful to the good natured, peace loving and harried target of bullying, especially given a bully who capably exploitatively presents a pitiable and pathetic demeanor. But with more realistic assessment, firmer resolve, better preparation, responsible initiative, and intervention if need be, greater losses, particularly social disgrace, may be inflicted upon bullies to get the upper hand and more effectively neutralize the threat and harm. For all of this is no less than how any trustworthy and bullyproofed society would respond in protection of the individual within his or her rights.
The dynamic relationship between defense and offense is just one of a larger group of concepts which might collectively be labeled the "dynamics of war." These would include the emphases on friction and morale, the diminishing force of the offensive, the "culminating point of victory"; in short, all of the factors that prevent struggle from being a linear process, that create the unpredictable see-sawing between opposing wills and powers that characterizes real-world conflict on every level, even entirely social, and with utter indifference to whatever the stakes, great or small, well understood or scarcely fathomed.
All of this why a more militant approach against the pervasive problems of bullying, and certainly better intelligence gathering, needs to at least be considered, for better exploitation of tactical opportunities.
Give and take relations and functional social networks providing any sense of security in life do exist, of course. But that does not mean that everyone finds them or gains access, easily or at all. And those who are so blessed may often either take it all far too much for granted or fear losing it too much to ever stick out their necks. And so, all the time, many good people are slipping through the cracks, in one sense or in one way or another.
And this brings us to the difficulty of connecting and organizing and, consequently, the hopes invested in the very prospect of future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry.
Indeed, to this day, victim
often seizes upon the old pretext that the targets of bullying are
socially inept and deficient. The awkward stigma and suffering of outcast state,
social isolation, unpopularity, even involuntary celibacy, is typically most
roundly mocked and virulently reviled by the very serial
Relational Bullies and relentless
assassins who so often deliberately cause or exacerbate the problem in the
first place with such utter impunity. Of
course serial bullies will typically only resent the target of bullying the
more should nevertheless they ever
succeed, romantically or otherwise, than when they only fail. And
hypocrisy not withstanding, let us no longer
deny the truth of the
bullies' superior social skills. For by definition, who can
deny the abilities
of an enduring predator or parasite? Indeed, the stereotypical oafish lone physical bully is
By all means then, let us address the acquisition and improvement of social skills. Indeed, the abused frequently learn from their abusers, even to become abusers themselves, so, again, there's no use denying it. Or else, the abused, miserable, only learn helplessness and to keep their place. Or others become people pleasers and social climbers and to better fit in, or simply learn to conform and escape notice. But by no means is sheer heteronomy exhaustive. For others even do learn how to stand up for themselves and ever fight back. As if that where always easy or cut and dry! Or always enough.
Some, most fortunately of all, learn to network, socially, in order to gain crucial connections, alliances, even friendship that they may reciprocally rely upon for safety. Undeniably, such do acquire and master adequately proficient social skills. But alas, not all of us, and under any different circumstances and situations, for any number of reasons, rise to these daunting challenges. And that is how the target of bullying will be different in their traits, and also vulnerable to harassment and to ubiquitous intolerable conniving active sabotage which is called Relational Bullying, isolation, ostracism, protractedly escalating of syndromes of shunning and mobbing, ambient or stealth abuse.
And so, the victim blaming and scapegoating seizing upon the old pretext that the targets of bullying are socially inept and deficient, is not entirely or literally untrue, just amoral and lacking in decent values. Instead, the hypocrisy, the unstated values assumed are the dire obligation of every individual to enthusiastically validate and uphold status quo uncritically, hence the malignant heteronomy to conformist pressures to adapt, impunity, veritable vigilante socialization to crush all misfits and dissidents and render the masses attachment disordered but socially skilled, sacrificing deeper and genuine robust and healthy autonomous social development essential to freedom in favor of conformist and heteronymous socialization, in an ongoing program inculcated via our Inductivism of what passes for education, in which bullies and thugs then actually lead the way as pillars of a criminal community standing in for the open Totalitarianism that would never be tolerated anymore. Not long suppressed, always testing to see just how much they can get away with, the stages of hostility steadily escalate from preaggressive behavior of inroads and encroachment upon personal boundaries indifferent towards the rights of another and generation of a hostile social environment, into whatever individual or collective pattern of overt and covert hostility.
Barriers to adequate social survival skills and strategies are varied, may indeed include all manner of personal troubles, foibles, character flaws and failings, but no less often circumstantial or situational problems of practical insurmountably, also profound dramatic conflict with real values. Hence the frequent sheer and tragic irrelevancy of pressures to adapt, impunity, veritable vigilante socialization prevalent and so unjustly legitimized by victim blaming against the targets of bullying, with the effect of better recruitment in the preservation of status quo by the eager and ubiquitous Fifth Columns of the Reactionaries even within ostensibly or nominally open and democratic society, wherein more straightforward and pervasive blatantly dictatorial brutality will be unacceptable but tactics of, for all intents and purposes, injurious participatory mass brainwash are normal, even banal. The awkward stigma and suffering of outcast state, social isolation, unpopularity, even involuntary celibacy, is typically most roundly mocked and virulently reviled by the very serial Relational Bullies and relentless character assassins who so often deliberately cause or exacerbate the problem in the first place with such utter impunity. Of course serial bullies will typically only resent the target of bullying the more should nevertheless they ever succeed, romantically or otherwise, than when they only fail.
And so, if however prevailing social expectations are rejected as inadequate and illegitimate, oppressive, unjust, what options then remain? The answer is, change, even revolution. And so, unless one is entirely satisfied with the petty pace of progress, then the questions remain, what can be done to help, and yes, what can be done differently and better for and, yes, by the targets of bullying?
No, indeed, the pursuit of
happiness need never be construed as any guarantee of
success nor any right nor
effete entitlement thereto. Yet remain open any range of questions of
responsibility and the limitations thereof. Because, supposing, as some hold
true, that we are each and all entirely responsible for everything in our lives
that happens to us, then we are also obligated to consider any measures of
possible effective response. Or else, if we are not responsible for every our
own fortune or misfortune, then why ought we simply to bear the latter
Otherwise, any positive right, such as the right to walk out at night in safety, remains entirely corollary to a clear negative right, such as the right not to get mugged. Likewise, even the broadest pursuit of happiness will be contingent upon the maintenance of the proverbial level playing field, in specific, protection from the self serving unfair advantage of physical and protractedly escalating of syndromes of shunning and mobbing, emotional abuse or the social injury of malicious disenfranchisement. Hence, when all else clearly, chronically and systemically fails, the audacious, unapologetic and ongoing primary aim of Clique Busters must be to defuse, undermine and disrupt bullying of any kind, even covertly and by the non violence of moral suasion coupled with low guile. Clique Busters is a somewhat Machiavellian Realistic conspiracy proposal for active outreach towards the covert engineering of Civility by Guerrilla Transactional Analysis re-scripting bullying mimesis.
Short of complete and utter moral paralysis, Beating the Bully is a short and sensible article about dealing with bullying.
The context is that of grade school, but one may consider what part of it may or may not adapt to any other social context. But one must also consider when any strategy might fail or become self defeating.
For examples, in less formal circumstances where responsible authority is not clear or ill equipped, in situations of scapegoating and victim blaming, false accusation of whatever sort or collaboration with bullies one way or another, when organized gang stalking bullies actually make themselves nigh impossible to avoid, even insinuating and entrancing themselves into whatever the community base, particularly during social events where there is a grave Catch-22 dilemma in that retreat, momentary or permanent, obviates participation and only yields to the bullies' aim of exclusion of the target of bullying. Or when whatever legal recourse fails or becomes endlessly protracted. Nor is retreat even always feasible when there is an obligation to attend, as in the workplace or the classroom.
Indeed, the article does not even really deal with covert relational hostility. nevertheless, Beating the Bully remains good practical advice in some situations, and from which to make a beginning.
Likewise, though focusing in the workplace, kickbully.com where your fight begins
Of course, hypocritical bullies too, also can and do take a prosecutorial tone. Alas, guilt tripping, after all, is no more exclusive to truth and justice than indignation is reserved for the blameless. Because there are always manipulative scoundrels getting away with fraudulently seizing the moral high ground.
Thus, the potential for abuse
in any sort of response what so ever is demonstrated. And some are sharply profoundly paralyzed by this realization.
After all, at any moment and under any circumstances, anyone may be pressed and
cowed into hesitation and silence for fear that to speak up may reflect poorly, exercise
futility, bring adverse consequences or even do
harm. But the
can only be responsibly evaluated in comparison to the practical
alternatives. Unassertive inaction by
silence and social loafing, these are sins of
omission, however rationalized by whatever craven and self serving blanket
of any resistance or opposition what so ever.
nevertheless, perhaps one fine day, future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry alone can end bullying, non confrontationally. Hey, if ya hate Clique Busters ya gotta love advanced automated Sociometry! But there are foreseeable problems, even with future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry. And, therefore, if it is ever needed, something like Clique Busters might well arise on it's own. Because future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry, if it works at all, would inevitably help coordinate global bully resistance already coming together, and even network together people who would evolve into Clique Busters by sheer complementary inclination. Unless, of course, the need for any of that indeed simply begins to disappear come the advent pf future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry, as visionary computer programmer Douglas Wilson is convinced it must. nevertheless, we may only be prudent to cover all bases simply to err on the side of caution.
For, indeed, just as the Civil Rights Movement was answered with murderous Racial violence, and just as Gay Liberation has elicited Gay Bashing, indeed, future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry, not despite but because of all the great good it could do, may be answered with a Reactionary backlash well before the entire world can ever be Utopian transformed.
In one case in the news, a heterosexual male was severely injured in a beating by an assailant who simply thought the man was Gay, just because he was seen hugging a close friend before taking leave of the restaurant where they had gone with others for dinner. Worse, police response was decidedly half hearted. Gay Bashing is on the rise because open Homosexuality has triggered certain unstable and extreme Homophobes, who otherwise might tend to stay underground, but who continue to be supported underground, not unlike abortion clinic arsonists and other terrorists thugs. And the slippery and covert cronyism of cliquish bullies is not dissimilar.
Likewise, the tendency of covert relational hostility and harassment, in any context, and on any scale, from the petty to the severe, to escalate when the target of bullying tries to do anything about it, or things begin to improve, is well established. Because such petty cliques are protective of their vested interests and power, and such bullies already readily excitable to jealous rage by both the vulnerability and even the envied positive traits of what ever sort of personalities the bullies look for and tend to target as victims.
Thus, it is plain fool hardy not to have an interim back-up plan like Clique Busters. Just in case even future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry does not reform bullies just a step faster than it helps their targets or otherwise begins to improve and open up society in ways that, leave us face it, would rather tend to upset cliquish bullies to actout devious covert relational hostility and Social Network Optimization are directly opposite and antithetical. Period.
Besides, until hoped for future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry, we must make do with other feasible options.
And even from future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry, social conflict, "culture wars" of some kind, are eminently likely. And head-in-the-sand Moralistic see/hear/speak no evil Pollyannas are merely irresponsible enablers for bullies. And it must be hoped, someday, and sooner better than later, that the positive influence of advanced automated Sociometry will help them all to grow back-bones, instead.
Indications are that bullies may already be coming out against advanced automated Sociometry. And it hardly pays to quail at the prospect of offending those who are already most opposed to an idea already. Moreover, response suggests that Clique Busters may even help raise interest in future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry. Thus, it may be hoped that the Clique Busters concept may prove more of an actual asset than any sort of embarrassing public relations liability, after all.
Be that as it may, the
correct identification of bullies and victims is key, of course. Hierarchies
of bullies, and
conflicts among bullies, may complicate the
picture. That is why effective Intelligence gathering and
development are crucial. local
area social network mapping functionality will also be useful in
intelligence analysis as entailed in projections of future interaction on the
Also, individuals who are really only angry mainly because they might be pining for acceptance by bullying cliques, are quite a different matter than targets of bullies, known or unknown to the targets of bullying, wronged, injured and righteously disgusted, who only want to be free of bullying and want nothing whatsoever to do with bullies, no matter how popular and well connected, even at the significant sacrifice of important networking opportunities. And covert relational hostility goes far beyond any bounds of the right of refusal by anyone, however snooty, to associate with anyone else in particular, individually, or even to dislike them, privately.
The crucial difference is that devious and divisive covert relational hostility contrives and connives to isolate the target from third parties entirely, even to ostracize the target completely. To actually search and destroy all of the target's existing social connections and block every opportunity for the target to make new ones. And that's distinctly another matter, isn't it? A conduct so vile, that it's sheer unbelievability is exploited by bullies to vilify and discredit not only the target of bullying, but the very idea that such things do, indeed, happen at all. And these are all important counterpropaganda points against the lies and rationalizations of abusive bullies. Given these realities of human nature, are we all even Paranoid enough? Or indeed, do we all tend to a Pollyanna underestimation of a gravely destructive and pervasive evil....
The threat to social progress
Won't future interaction on the frontiers of
improve interpersonal networking for each individual, for
whatever kind of contacts or relationships, be bound to upset a lot
of bullies? Indeed, there are indications that the very idea already does. nevertheless, visionary computer programmer
Douglas Wilson eternally hopes otherwise, because future interaction on the
Sociometry will likely reshape a more stable
and tolerant society, and even imbed the bullies, or former
bullies, into close knit social networks, thus helping the insecure and maladapted, who need it most, so that they will be happy, benefit
from positive influences, loose interest in bad influences, and
give up their destructive behaviors.
And that all this will entirely go off as smooth as silk, without a hitch, and with nary a ruffled feather! Or so, we can only hope. Because future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry, and it's revolution, will be both so insidious and so ubiquitous. Non confrontational and morally undemanding. So much the better, then, if Clique Busters proves nothing but needless Paranoia. In that case, the question remains whether such Paranoia simply errs on the side of caution, or only exacerbates danger somehow, nuch as the timid and conflict averse so vaguely dread. After all, just because the latter position reeks of sheer victim blaming and scapegoating, signifies neither
The vindication of Clique Busters?
And so, I have undertaken the moral defense of Clique Busters on a point by point basis as we go. I also have been explaining Clique Busters, strategically, how it is intended to work, and why. And I still await cogent moral or strategic refutation, what so ever, from any of my horrified detractors. -Never mind from those who do not acknowledge the problem, impugn the motives, or even those with the sheer temerity to deny outright and categorically that group dynamics of any sort what so ever even factors into individual misbehavior at all.
It must be admitted how, nigh inevitably, should CliqueBusters as proposed, ever achieve implementation and gain any traction, this would make for a practical guarantee of eventual perversion thereof, one way or another and at one time or another, just the same as with virtually every other crusade for social justice that has ever been or likely ever will be. Shall we then abandon all crusade for social justice? CliqueBusters as proposed, at least seeks to remedy the vulnerabilities to abuse of previous social justice crusades, by Epistemological and Methodological emphasis upon the time and trouble of investigation ferreting out the truth (correspondence to reality in allegations) and justice, of differing circumstances and situations, instead of sheer ideological bias and intellectually lazy self serving and hypocrisy. Is it then such proposed solution, or the problem to begin with, that renders CliqueBusters so taboo? And so, when people are nervous and refuse to explain why, then must wonder if we have at all convergent agendas. And so, it may even be a positive sign, from where I sit, that they quail so. -As little as that helps...
Because, why ever would people of good faith hesitate to open my eyes, if I am, indeed, so misguided? What ever can be the flaw so obvious in my world view that no one dares speak it's name? Surely not that the destruction that accrues from self serving petty malice and hypocrisy makes me angry. Not should they truly share my righteous indignation, sympathy or pain. Nor should anyone fear to act, these proposed tactics and measures all being so moderate as they are. Who are they afraid to upset? Surely not the enemy in the first place! Or maybe so, and even with good reason. But what are the alternatives? They refuse to say.
All in all, and unaccountably, there are those who seem more upset by Clique Busters, and far less afraid even of any prospect of yet another school yard shooting spree! Not that such, either, is really anything new. Just topical.
Standing up to bullies remains a test of character. And some folks just seem to measure and ration theirs out. Appeasers in the end, who compromise out of reflex, not reason or prudence. Who are timid in negotiation. Who imagine allowing some place for bullies, even as bullies, rather than excluding or improving their behavior. And let the targets of bullying pay at least some tolerable price for business as usual. As if the suffering of others can also be measured and rationed out, or that the bullies would ever be so careful and gracious, knowing their place and bound by honor.
There are always those picayune zealots who rail against the objectification of women as inherent in Media and Advertising, just as they continue to do against cartoon violence and spirited Rock & Roll. But all of that is still nothing more than prudish pseudo-psychiatric magical Victorian thinking, that if we don't talk about it, if expression will only be excised from popular culture, sex and all of the strife that comes with it will just go away. But sexual and emotional exploitation, unexamined, is a day to day occurrence accepted and adapted to as part of business as usual. That is why real attitudes and practices ought to bear such scrutiny as is wasted upon witlessly oppressive culture wars.
Truth in jest: As the old joke goes, three women from different countries discuss how each of them would cope, hypothetically, as the only woman stranded on a desert isle with a group of healthy and robust men. "I find a fortifiable safe location" answers the English woman. "I'd make an alliance with the strongest man to fend off the others" replies the American woman. "I don't understand" responds the French Woman, quite mystified. "What is the problem?"
Answer: "The popular clique or cool group, whose members have the most friends, socialize earlier than others inside and outside of school, and appear to be having all the fun." But the truth may be uglier than cultivated appearance.
In Jonathan Swift's 'Gulliver's Travels', Gulliver, upon his return to what we call civilization, describes life among the Yahoos. How the leader of the Yahoos is selected as the worst person among them, and how he then recruits the next worse among the Yahoos as his lieutenants to help him herd together all the desirable Yahoo women for themselves and violently monopolize all other resources as well.
And Gulliver is perplexed at giving offence in giving his account of the ways of the Yahoos, blithely unaware how close it cuts to home! Nor can anyone explain it's offensiveness without exposing their own self-serving Moralistic hypocrisy as chronic cockblockers! What Gulliver describes, of course, is the amoral behavior of herd animals. And like the herd animals they have been reduced to under the oppression of the disdainfully refined Houyhnhms, the Yahoos trouble themselves with little hypocritical pretence of Moralistim even in all of their most flagrant self serving. -Unlike the affluent and powerful amid that which we call civilization.
For to quote Mark Twain, "Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to."
"In general, most men fail to meet women [because] they travel in packs but go on the hunt solo" or, to employ the Naturalists jargon, they function, and badly, as "sneaky rutters", according to 'CubanJoe's Rules of Engagement', apparently a more condensed version of 'The Pickup Mission'. Indeed, social "proof" not unlike the first shills rising to their feet from the audience of a faith healer to help get the proverbial ball metaphorically rolling, rent-a-friends, wingmen and yes: wingwomen, are all available for hire, in order to provide social Persecutor-Rescuer and to make introductions: "making you look attractive fun mysterious interesting and scarce (just what Women look for in a real man)."
But if the notion of a human pack seems already quite unsavory and disturbing, then, as Jonathan Swift reveals to us, the human herd is by far even the worse!
Bullies appeal to the lowest common denominator. Bullies are malevolent confidence tricksters often abusing trust of affinity and exploiting the greed for easy acceptance along with the urgency of misplaced compassion and sex appeal, to bypass Critical Thinking and conscience.
There really is no term for a sexually active or sexually open woman that is not derogatory. Use value, physical, emotional, help, assistance and comfort in life, every good thing, all of it, is at best taken for granted and actually vilified as to lower exchange value! Obviously, this peculiar exchange rate was never set by lonely guys. You know, the nice ones, who are always finishing last, as the saying goes. nevertheless, it remains the truth, that virgins are boring! Thus it must be hoped that tolerance is not, in truth, the exclusive hall mark of the utter luzer and undesirable. For yet does it escape me what can be so tantalizing about domineering sexist prudery, judgment and abuse.
Disinhibiting chemicals, their social dependency and "Downright upright" TV commercials not withstanding, there simply is no way for a woman to be both respectable and free and exciting at the same time. Much as, now a days, many do try. Except by getting off the fence and asserting herself and the dignity of sex for pleasure.
A woman only exposes herself to risk of judgment and the wretched abuse that is slut shaming by depending upon Yahoos, cliques of bullies for social connection. And needlessly so. Because, when bullies slander a woman who remains in demand, no less when they seek to poses one who mocks them, all the more, the bullies will only seem foolish and impotent. They know this, and can only fret amongst themselves, if their bluff is thus called.
Not unless they are actually ready to resort to forceful coercion and even violence and enjoy the impunity for doing so. And such finally rises to redress by criminal complaint.
Tension may arise from mystery, the unknown, events unfolding or outcome in any way in doubt. Tension is stress, and the innate or conditioned emotional, neurochemical and physiological preparative change or stress response to challenge, stimuli or stressors may be either distress and dread as to threat and emergency or eustress, the euphoric stress of pleasant anticipation, the demands of pleasant activities, power and opportunity.
Even humor depends upon tension from an insecurity brought to a resolution called the punch line, that may be either surprising or else even obvious and anticipated, just so long as the tension builds and then crests. Teasing, well intended or otherwise, also cultivates and builds stress. So does flirtation, but likewise manipulation, rejection or indifference and harassment or threat.
The Stress Vulnerability Model of Psychiatric Disorders is flawed only in that for these purposes, what is called biological vulnerability is actually universal in the condition of the human species. And so, the determinant is nurture, not nature. Fraudulent obfuscation to the contrary are only the current preferred high powered junk science marketing tactic of the Psychopharmacolical industry, pandering to compassion burn out and desperation, mocking and trivializing such cherished illusions as the yearning for understanding and with them all Philosophically/dramatically meaningful values arising from the deep wellsprings of human emotional needs.
The will to power may be benign, benevolent, malevolent or absent and ineffectual, as per culturally acquired behavioral patterns and the content of individual character. As a matter of sexroles, it is said that, one way or another, while the pleasure principle of will to power (even if not in whatever abusive hostile sense of dominance, but only in any entirely benign and even constructive sense of opportunity) arouses men, it is mystery that keeps women involved, for better or worse, the worst being to simply and blithely actout response to ambient or stealth abuse triggers of pernicious ambivalent conflicting mixed signals, even to the tragic point of veritable Masochism, even the eroticization of learned helplessness and poisonous Cinderella myths. Indeed, various destructive cliques, particularly Obscurantist cults and scams, draw in the mark in vein hope that things will begin to make more sense as the mystery unfolds. Alas, happy endings are never guaranteed in the face of passivity and love conquers nothing without backbone, the courage for growth.
Women are all too often encouraged to take men and sexual opportunity for granted, and, no less prudishly intolerant than men, even to fear, revile and despise what comes to them too eager and easily, to dread the forbidden fruit and wait patiently and even in some sort of erotic suspense for approval or permission that will never be forthcoming.
And, for the most part, men are either genuine and therefore easy or else just manipulative. And this is uncomplicated. The drama of real complexity and depth of character arises from empathy, regret and analytic disposition, and not just any level of common inner turmoil and conflict whatsoever. Alas, the vulgar preference for predictable melodrama, in both art and a life, the mimesis of senseless headgames and Stockholm Syndrome full of tribulation that come only to one's own disadvantage. And this is more corruption in the Nietzschean sense, against which the struggle of true Feminist empowerment, no less than the Causeless Compassion of a mythic Wonder Woman, must fiercely contend.
“Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those who we cannot resemble.” — Samuel Johnson
The three motivating principle cofactors in effective manipulation and disorienting ambient or stealth abuse are whatever the incentive and disincentive vulnerabilities of the target(s), the tactics of themanipulator(s), and time for the relationship to develop under whatever situation, free or captive. There is tremendous advantage in hypocrisy, being: the imposition of constrictive norms that diminish fitness to thrive and are difficult and costly for others to violate, but not you.
Stockholm syndrome is the name for the bond of attraction that sometimes develops between abuser and abused, molester and molested, captor and captive, and in particular between terrorist and hostage. The term derives from the recent case of a woman held hostage at a bank in Stockholm, Sweden, who actually became so pairbondedly attached to one of the bank robbers that she broke off her engagement to her previous lover in order to remain faithful to her former captor during his prison term.
The Stress Vulnerability Model of Psychiatric Disorders is flawed only in that what is called biological vulnerability is actually universal in the human species. And so, the determinant is nurture, not nature. Fraudulent obfuscation to the contrary are only the current preferred high powered junk science marketing tactic of the Psychopharmacolical industry, pandering to compassion burn out and desperation, mocking and trivializing such cherished illusions as the yearning for understanding and with them all Philosophically meaningful values arising from the deep wellsprings of human emotional needs.
The phenomenon of manipulation is best defined as undue advantage from trickery via the exploitation of affective innate and conditioned triggers or "push buttons" to undermine and overwhelm, even barrage, resistance, caution, better judgment and autonomy of the target, via insidiously motivating subtext and ambient or stealth abuse of emotional positive incentive and negative disincentive. –As distinct from open coercion alone or substantive disinformation, lies. Typically, the manipulator obfuscates the nature of their coercion exercised, along with whatever self-serving advantage thereof, whatever their own ultimate motivation.
Positive incentive manipulation is such as deviously appeals to value in fantasy and desire, love, sex or greed, promoting false hope of whatever gain, in order to circumvent or overwhelm resistance, caution, better judgment and autonomy of the target. Whereas an example of negative disincentive manipulation, such insult as condescension that after all comes of love can be less painful than insult that comes without it, or more so, or equally so, as the case may be: but be that as it may, it is, in any case significantly more harmful. This is because insult provokes anger and hostility, but hostility towards people who even sincerely profess to love you and act on your own best interest is curbed and turned inwards, internalized, and experienced on the level of the inner conflict of self-hostility, namely guilt. Such deceptive appeals undermining the target’s credulity and defenses even whilst actually exercising coercion constitute often likewise internalized flagrantly manipulative behavior, conscious or unconscious, selfish, indifferent or just desperate.
And under conditions of captivity, anger may illicit reprisal of one kind or another, giving cause for fear and the yearning for any hope as might present itself.
For the menace of the captor represents but also deflects a palpable threat of harm to the captive. And this makes for an inherently dramatic and perversely absorbing good news / bad news situation for anyone who ever feels trapped. Bad news in the danger, good news in that it may be appeased, averted, especially, if redirected and then validated. And most salient to Stockholm Syndrome, overwhelming gratitude even for the barest most fleeting respite.
In whatever degree, and in it'simmediate and long term effects, Stockholm Syndrome perhaps more accurately described as Slave Loyalty Syndrome or mentality, obviously applies to what amounts to effective captivity even in family life, and certainly to bored and stressed students and workers. Always, it's all for your own good, dear! Enhance your calm, citizen...
The salient point omitted from direct assertion, even though actually fairly well explained in the otherwise most informative summary of'Loving to Survive' is how Stockholm Syndrome, in any context or degree, is not merely situationally adaptive, but can all to often condition in the long term maladaptively and entrenched, even to the point of learned helplessness of Battered Woman's Syndrome, of conflict aversion and pathetically profound cowardice all clinging even to utterly kinky fairytale false hope beyond reason and even the most lucid conscious understanding. And also, what is not really confronted, evidently for fear of stigmatizing victims as defectively masochistic, is that resultantly attachment disordered sufferers of Stockholm Syndrome, in whatever context or degree, come to actually prefer abusers and manipulation to vulnerability. Indeed, yes, among other manifestations and examples, case in point, women so frequently do seem to prefer the biggest jerks and assholes! Though to be fair, many men, likewise, may be drawn to unattainable narcissistic women. Certainly, too many of us have lost confidence, pursue that which is withheld from us, and fail to reach out to opportunity or fight back in adversity.
Bullying presses for uniformity. Anything that stands out one way or another, better or worse than average or entirely indifferent, tend to attract bullying. A study has concluded that pretty girls are more likely to be bullied, the more so given provocative dress, young and fit. Indeed, most women being fairly cautious and well socialized, indoctrinated, conditioned and intimidated by bullying and peer pressure against sexual aggression, are more likely to make do with men howsoever at all already well within their social orbits than to assert themselves and go out of their way seeking happiness much as gold diggers hunt down wealthy prospects. That is why the thinly veiled and self serving control of social access is so effective in the overall misdirection and sublimation of sexuality promoting such wide scale misery. Indeed, successful gold diggers advertising as consultants, actually claim as a happy byproduct, better relationships and not just wealth, precisely from mercenary decisiveness and utter vulgar transparency. Perhaps in love as in politics, even competent cynicism is better than moralistic headgames.
Accepting constraining values of sexual modesty and propriety (overwhelmingly powerful triggers of the deepest and most intensely personal embarrassment and shame) and even the most plainly arbitrary and unfair self serving judgmental rejection of ones peers is a prime example of the Stockholm Syndrome perversely maladaptive and codependent immediate and long term effect of overwhelming gratitude even for the barest most fleeting respite and eager willingness to see things from whatever the captor, abuser or bullies' point of view. Likewise shunning and failing to reach out to more accepting and easygoing people instead, particularly the romantic competition such as demonized by possessive controlling cliques of bullies, likewise fits with ambient or stealth abuse and the Stockholm Syndrome perversely maladaptive and codependent immediate and long term effect of frightened rationalized actual loyalty to abuse, eager gratitude even for the barest and most fleeting respite and determination too see things from the abusers Point Of View.
And just such perversely maladaptive codependent effects of Stockholm Syndrome often tend take over the subjects' social life almost entirely, rendering autonomous responsibility for normal, supportive and reciprocal relations with decent people difficult to impossible.
Indeed, for those who equate jealousy with authority, everything happy or confident is quickly forbidden, because anything good in life will always incite actingout of jealous rage in one form or another by somebody or other at all manifesting exactly such character defects which the unfortunate subject of Stockholm Syndrome in whatever degree will consistently tend to attract and be drawn to and even seeking out for excuses to chicken out of life.
But Sun Tzu said that there is no loss worse than that of the initiative relinquished. And no illusion more perilous than any such folly. For Sun Tzu, the enemy is not to be placated and strengthened, but intimidated and steered in the direction of one's own choosing.
Initiative is the power to create threats.
The side with the initiative
is usually also attacking. Against a threatening enemy, one has not only has the
right, but the obligation to attack upon any sign of weakness or opening. If one
can create threats the enemy is weakened. This should be self-evident and
expected of the enemy. Yet many tend towards contempt of weakness and assume
that one must have made some mistake to be put in any position of weakness.
The side with the initiative controls the course of events. But keeping the initiative even when over matched requires creativity, whereas the opponent only has to react to threats. In most everyone's experience, attacking is easier than defending, and, what is more, errors in defending tend to be more fatal, typically leading to defeats or great loss of resources. While errors in attacking usually only lose the initiative -- which, or course, in the long term may lead to defeat.
The defender has less alternatives in choosing a plan. One might think that that job would therefore be easier, but choosing the right plan may be much more difficult for the defender. There is often only one way to endure, whereas there may be several ways for the attacker to win. Many brilliant attacks have proven better defendable from hindsight, because the defender could have gained the advantage with some imaginative response. In theory, every attack is over-optimistic; in practice, attacks are most likely to decide the outcome. Being proactive means being willing to win, which may be enough in many situations.
As will be demonstrated in the
sections of this text to follow, the threats and attacks of
cocksure Sexist bullies
seeking to control women by tacit threat of
slut shaming, are prone to exactly such errors of complacency and
underestimation that can cost them the initiative if only quickly and
competently exploited against them in imaginative counter attack most likely to decide the
outcome in resounding victory against them.
Bullies deserve no reverence, for they are pathetic. And, here in the chivalrous West, Sexist bullies may often depend entirely upon whatever explicit or tacit prudish validation they can extract from women who by meekly playing it safe not to anger the slut shaming bullies, by such timid cognitive dissonance so gratefully buying into the Persecutor-Rescuer headgame of the Honor-Protection Racket, and blithely caving into the implicit threat, thus enable the craven impunity of exactly such domineering sexist bullies. So much so, that the bullies may be profoundly stymied, publically humiliated and vulnerably exposed when, instead, all this is withheld them, and they don't get their way. And, as will be seen, just such tactical "Judo" of Transactional Antithesis offers the best initiative to be seized and turned back against them.
But, indeed, should a woman submit to be deemed virtuous, made vapid chattel, dull and meek, then some of her suitors must be vilified by other of her suitors. Woman, passive, property, is the object of contention. Thus, traditionally, by slut shaming, Straight people persecute one another quite vigorously, unlike sexual "deviants" instead achieving socially protected minority status by ongoing proactive strategies of activism.
Indeed, us "normal" folks also need to remember that eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.
Some more advice for women about men and society, in order not to be bullied
Some people generally and women especially, are hard to get simply because they are aware that they are in demand socially, enjoy every advantage of competition, and have so many options and too much on their proverbial plates. Others, ambivalent procrastinators, just lie to themselves to the effect that they are keeping their options open by such sheer indecision and timid inaction.
Indeed, some people generally, and this is often the expectation of women in particular, value and rely upon close relations and connections not only for safety but also for resources, while others are quite simply terrified of strangers. The latter tend to be deluded as to the nature of intimacy as well as influence, isolating themselves within an insular social setting and surrendering initiative.
People like that not only cease to compete meaningfully, but cut themselves off from the benefit of competition among others.
Women in such social circles can only have contact with men who insinuate themselves into such social circles in order to acquire contacts instead of simply approaching desired contacts directly and then networking from there according to one's own inclinations and motivated goals however put forth. Rather, the commonly recommended technique, even taught in courses for social success, is of behaving to appear "mellow" and innocuous like TV's Mr. Rogers, positive and never negative, in order to inculcate false sense of security, rather than taking social risk of being genuine, interesting or stimulating, showing the best one has to offer and honestly having a good time at play (defined as any uplifting interaction enjoyed for it's own sake) without the unremitting sycophancy of forcing or faking it in recreation (defined as the Existentially Absurd, Ecclesiastically futile and meaningless alienated desperate struggle to recuperate from the mounting stresses of work, school or family life, at one's own expense and on one's own time).
Thus to allay Xenophobic unreasoning fear and avoid jealous rage rather than to entice or to reach out. To be circumspect, unnoticed and to slither in under the radar, furtively, without shedding any ray of hope.
This is all utterly phony and even unmanly. And woe unto women too bullied and insecure for anything better! At best nice intelligent people are repressed in order to fit in. But, far worse, the most abusive and exploitative people excel and advance to even to leadership, "popularity" even when actually detested, in this common and accepted chicanery of social hypocrisy.
An alienated and alienating process, a major turn-off arousing only to the deeply facile. Social hypocrisy stripped of it's former subtlety, nuance and the charm of desperation which remained somehow genuine. Mellow?? Better dead than mellow!!
Even worse, peer approval and status may require calculating exploitation and then casting aside of others as "stepping stones" in the crucial process of social climbing to a more desired mate! Indeed, that much is also common advice. Ultimately, dominance and preeminence among men is achieved by collusion to monopolize women.
However, to make matters worse, just as the German Feminists are fond of pointing out, even long after men have lost interest in dominating women, it is women, in competitive Patriarchic slave mentality, clinging to and jockeying for social position, that are most abusive, judgmental and controlling of other women.
Clearly what women respond to need not be at all the same thing as what women say they want even when women are completely candid. How sad, how frightening, when good men, in lonely desperation, seek bad men as social mentors, resigned that women will not respond otherwise, when women have gone insane, become corrupt in the Nietzschean sense. For "I call an animal, a species, or an individual corrupt when it loses its instincts, when it chooses, when it prefers, what is disadvantageous for it." Such is the socially normative attachment disordered alienation from the self resulting from twisted and contorted effort at coming to terms with society. Masochistic timid ersatz mediocre Conformism, passing by whatever is of individual rare and unique value, difference at all upon which true intimacy is predicated.
The problem is that no one can function at all without responses of both trust and mistrust. But when one is kept under constant pressure and suspense, self-confidence is shattered and judgment suffers as a result. Hence one is not only too paralyzed from stress for much initiative of one's own, but both too easily prone to unwanted hypersensitivity and suspicion, even of friendly overtures, unready to accept as true what remains uncertain, and, on the other hand, as well, too easily pressed to overlook undefined uneasy feelings warning of exploitation, rather than challenge a lie, no matter how hostile, unless there is the most blatant smoking gun, which would only only make for the more crushing a revelation anyhow.
Most honestly, this may manifest as a simple experience of distress and confusion, if not compounded with dishonest denial and rationalization. However, typically the vulnerable will often find themselves bullied and Stockholm Syndrome brainwashed into the self-serving denials and rationalizations of their abusers.
In such a poor frame of mind one may consistently fail to respond to outreach while remaining pliant to exploitation. And this may be further exacerbated by isolation, conditioning and tradition, the more so where sexroles are a factor.
There is more to be said about the common debilitating fears of women, conditioning to all the wrong signals and against all the right ones, and how this is routinely exploited, particularly by way of devious and intimidating Persecutor-Rescuer headgames under the oppressive and hypocritical mimesis of the Honor-Protection Racket. That, alas, just as it is so often the most duplicitously evil even more so than just the spinelessly bland that become most adept at insinuating themselves into the lives and social circles of the women they so covertly pursue, that socially expected bogus non-threatening Mr. Rogers mask which anyone ought to see through where one not in conditioned traumatic denial, is often most skillfully worn by the creepiest most palpably Narcissistic self-involved two-faced hypocritically possessive "protective" bullies as part of the devious emotional hot and cold treatment by which they break down resistance and extort stunned compliance. For the icy calm of the abuser offers the desperate target of abuse some respite by which they can be bribed and become conditioned to. There is tremendous advantage in hypocrisy, being: the imposition of constrictive norms that diminish fitness to thrive and are difficult and costly for others to violate, but not you.
Just as such Narcissistic character may be either criminal outright in their exploitation or just unremittingly petty and conniving, they may also be either self sufficient in their methods, or they can be tightly organized and collaborate closely to calculatingly fabricate and maintain a social environment tailored to support their self-serving abuse.
Such malignant counterfeit is never truly a secure web of close relations and connections. Safety and security will only be an illusion of connection where really there is only isolation and manipulation to the collective agenda, especially for women.
So it remains the
responsibility of women to master the overwhelming terror and knee-jerk response
that rises at the implicit and violent rape-threat of
prudish judgment and
persecution, however "protective", and never, ever, to compete
"virtue" with the
more-virtuous-than-thou in their own ranks, but, instead, to deflate them
decisively, continually and consistently.
And, always, however, without any of the opposing sexually active social climbing Catch-22 cooler-than-thou peer pressure, either, of course, which is the true prostitution needing no less to be disrupted and defused than the ubiquitous movable convent.
Rather, if women ever truly want equal respect, the genuine article and not the euphemistic semblance of the Double Standard, to uphold, zealously, Do-Me Feminism and the individual dignity of risk and of sex for pleasure and never to be conned, even as adults, into enduring as charity and accepting the control of such malignant disrespect that even children, quite frankly, should not.
Fear not, but always be glad to threaten the ignorant and evil, and make the most of it. For as Winston Churchill well said it, those who will surrender freedom for peace shall have neither and appeasers never prosper. Such great truth seldom stays in fashion, yet it returns again and again.
As Adolph Hitler writes in MEIN KAMPF "Like a woman, whose spiritual sensitiveness is determined less by abstract reason than by an indefinable emotional longing for fulfilling power and who, for that reason, prefers to submit to the strong rather than the weakling - the mass, too, prefers the ruler to a pleader."
Hence, in chronic recapitulation of childhood experience of dysfunctional family, not only any such a woman, but any such masses, Masochistically romance, enable and support just the sort of jumped up little Fuehrer they deserve, effectively inflicting tyranny on all the rest of us as well.
This is precisely why Nietzsche abhorred any such involvement as might socially sublimate the entirely individual will to power, health and growth. And why the ideal of democracy is a society which distinctly remains the shared tool for the advantage and protection of each individual rather than merely a perverted collective outlet.
But while any personal relationship to society as an abstract entity remains as much dangerously deluded fantasy as personal relationship to God, interpersonal relationships certainly are emotional outlets, and should be, quite aside from tangible and practical benefit.
nevertheless, one may either accept such outlets as are sanctioned by tyranny, or else hold out for anything better. And this still proves not only a matter of individual personal responsibility, but democratic social responsibility as well.
Personal relationships are seldom truly apolitical. They all impact any immediate social network and contribute, for better or worse, to the interaction of society. Acceptance in any kind of relationship makes acceptance a factor and some sort of a commodity in society while any bullying in any relationship thereby manifests as a mode of discourse in society, both of wider influence for the bully and isolation and exploitation of the targets of bullying.
Life on every level may be seen as the struggle to establish healthy give and take connections, and against the snares and mayhem of cynical co-exploitation compulsions and the domineering imposition and actingout of emotionally brutalizing interpersonal roles.
Where the Boys Are
Why play games? Generally, game playing is an obstacle, confusion and a distraction from real value. Instead, how can the desired behaviors and responses be elicited?
For example, honest answers to honest questions can be had from honest people to begin with. Whereas, unlike perhaps the deep rewards possible in effort at nurture and seduction towards the shy and withdrawn, the challenge of fencing and drawing out the truth from habitual liars seldom actually pays off in any way even when successful, at least in any relationship save antagonism and enmity outright. (Clearly, misplaced sympathy and deep identification with the undeserving, however laudable, will indeed often prove itself a snare, if there are ever any reasonable expectations in return whatsoever.)
And, likewise, for a desirable woman, fishing for complements is certainly just as easy as senseless bickering, at least with just about any man who does not actually withhold all manner of praise what so ever. Moreover, dalliance and flirtation are easy enough foreplay to pass the time pleasantly, given cooperation and barring all such manipulative and undue disruption that, as a requisite of dignity and Civility, must never be excused or tolerated.
Often, for women now a days, the challenge and discipline of applied self-knowledge, however, may be to identify from worldly experience and inner life whatever deeper and subtler inner needs from others, to then research and consider how next, by trial and error, to systematically recreate similar openings and effective triggers for whatever such similarly beneficial interactions.
Because emotional rescue comes quickest for those who actually and actively wish to be found. And such is the first step in the overthrow of unfortunate conditioning and maladaptation and the beginning of recovery from corruption in the Nietzschean sense by the reclamation of one's own vital instincts.
And in that light it should become plain and manifest that unlike the docile Mr. Rogers mask or the threatening ogre making "for your own good" excuses, a decent man should have a normal range of emotion and even free opinions of his own; and a circle of friends should be of mutual support, not reciprocal domineering exploitation and jockeying for manipulative advantage.
So, if you are a woman who's current social network is not optimal to your own best agendas, then whatever kind of men you are looking for, to find them, go where they are. motivated goal put forth
For example, just any any competent gold-digger becomes a trophy-wife by going where the rich congregate, then one need not be so mercenary motivated to be at all actively goal directed and genuinely selective, as, for example, to put forth and carry out the goal of finding a man with a sense of humor, find out where and when local aspiring stand-up comics get together to practice shtick. Or, for another example, to meet a professional and an animal lover, try the hotel bar during a veterinarians convention. Or for an outdoorsy type, why not hang out at a camping supply store? (Men are easy. We can be had!)
That is, of course, for the time being and in so far as anyone knows and can identify what one will best respond to in others. It is hoped that future interaction on the frontiers of advanced automated Sociometry will accomplish as much better and more reliably. In the interim, assertive common sense may be best for women, in order not to be bullied.
And even to break away from the herd and become more accessible, even, for example, just to dance more. Unless, of course, you are still just loitering to engage CubanJoe and his Wingmen!
The key is that while we are all needy, not everyone need be utterly self absorbed. It only makes sense, then, to actually test for the ability to relate and to be accepting.
Anyone attractive enough to childishly aggravate and toy with would be suitors and waste everybody's time, would be far better off to simply name their own terms, not only to their own best advantage, but also to cultivate such opportunity as to offer the world the best one has to give; and forego the extortion of withholdance for fear of rejection, an interminable involvement that saps vitality for all involved.
Good men often just don't have game. Bad men play games. Coquettish hoops to jump through filter out good men in favor of bad men. Ambivalent caution not to offend judgmental prudery, becomes for all intents and purposes, timid submissive approval seeking from intolerant controlling people. Therefore never allow yourself to be steered by conditioned social reflexes and lead about by the nose by just anyone. Never be so quick to surrender the initiative into casual bad faith. Don't be touchy and hesitant, and don't be malleable either. Evil doers are often so slick because they are amorally sociopathic, with no feelings to perturb them, while moral and conscientious individuals more authentic and readily affected, not to mention more courageous and willing to undertake social risks, may consequently trip over their own proverbial feet of clay and even become haunted and nervous, especially when being deviously bullied by unscrupulous romantic rivals.
Don't merely delay obvious situational choices and decisions in the same old rut, but help break the ice, flirt, make conversation, hold up your end of the conversation, interview each prospect and look for good leads. And always consider the source. Even if one does insist upon playing hard to get, one must nevertheless all the more encourage the other party in order to keep them interested and persistent, lest they simply interpret no answer as an answer no, and then accept "no" for an answer, rather than shouldering uncertain social risk in a fruitless pursuit.
This is only what your mother should have taught you!
Never tolerate nor buy into to unasked "protective" possessive or hostile behavior, neither from strangers nor acquaintances. Even though passivity in such a circumstance does relieve one of the responsibility of active short term decision and dire choice. In truth, acquiescence to bullies is a dire choice indeed. Do not rationalize your own feelings of intimidation, as this opens the way to classic Stockholm Syndrome where in terrified hostages of criminals in their desperation for hope, are even known to convince themselves that their kidnappers are actually protecting them from the police!
However, on the other hand, while simply walking away from all such ugly posturing may seem like the more mature response for a woman, that may often be exactly how the devious cockblocking gatekeeper Relational Bully isolates rivals and scapegoats to thereby limit and control a woman's freedom and choice of association. That is why any such rival or scapegoat must always be defended and the bully humiliated by failure and exposure, every time they attempt such hypocritical manipulative pranks and headgames. Upholding of civility and fair play remains crucial in functional role modeling of legitimate moral authority. Otherwise self-serving possessive and controlling bullies and hypocritical lust crazed prudes will continue to actually seize the moral high ground in disfunctional emulation of the blustering moralistic tyranny under which we all live.
Of course, real hostage situations and the like alluded to here are extreme and mind-bending. But we are now only making a metaphor to more ordinary day to day life. And therefore, the following question is utterly begged of some people:
What, are you actually that helpless?? Don't you know your own mind? Aren't you responsible to speak for yourself? And how can one tell who would really respond, or who would just run away, if anyone ever actually cried out for help in any real emergency? Probably not some self serving posturing bully. Knee-jerk hostility has even less value and greater danger even than any other cheapened false sentimentality.
Got game? Game is the shameless cutthroat predatory ongoing research and practice into procedure of tricks exploiting female psychology for sexual purposes, even justified as turn about seen as fair play for feminine whiles, the oldest game by women upon men, in modern civilized affluence no longer as much an actual matter of survival, and perhaps therefore no longer as engendering of sympathy to soften resentment. So, if one party does all what they learn to hope will favorably prompt the other, then who is controlling whom? So is the man absorbed in game, Alpha masterful or merely henpecked? And is the woman perpetually toying with just such men, the queen bee or a slave to expectation? As Nietzsche admonishes, a king of fools is the greatest fool. In the fanatically dedicated practice of game, who does one become, and whom does one attract? Reciprocal exploitation is a consistent feature of attachment disordered codependency. Worse however, game need not be informed and consensual. Pathological manipulation by nature, tends also ensnare and abuse the unwitting, ill equipped and vulnerable. Worse still, game is often socially expected and amorally Moralistically destructively enforced by the most competitively monopolistic cliquish and controlling serial bullies, cockblockers externalizing their own self loathing of everything decent, vulnerable, passionate, unscripted, spontaneous and genuine which they so mightily repress in themselves and then in society by so relentlessly denigrating others.
VS. -inherent culture clash by conflicting with simply: look don't touch because:
• Gender and double-standards (Look for my comments in response.)
Behaving as if it all went without saying or question, hypocritical Moralistic slut shaming self-serving judgmental bullies "naturally" keep alive the threat to reputation and then "graciously" offer standards of compliant behavior by which reputation allegedly can possibly, but not reliably, be safe guarded. Because, of course, even this remains uncertain and at the discretionary pleasure of the evil gossiping judgmental bullies and anonymous back fence Yentas.
And this sort of conditioning procedure fearful uncertainty and instability is really nothing more or less than intimidation, terror and extortion, a classic Protection Racket, among the oldest of the all, the Honor Protection Racket! That's the racket wherein subtext of helpful hints are dropped, making a great favor of intimidation, offering as it does, opportunity for compliance. Because one would not care to dwell upon the social consequences of deciding one's own mind, heart in order to own one's own body! Slut shaming extorts passive bystanding from women in order to permit cockblocking of prospective romantic rivals. In turn, cockblocking socially isolates women into cliques of slut shaming cockblocking bullies and cronies.
But what to call slut shaming when it's targeted again a male rather than a female, when it's manbashing instead of misogamist? How about: creep shaming. Just as, concurrent with the hatespeach feminine pejorative 'slut' for perfectly ordinary needs and urges, slut shaming denigrates sexual availability concurrent with feminine sexrole, likewise with 'creep' serving as hatespeach pejorative for male suitors howsoever perceived as undesirables, creepshaming might name the denigration of sexual interest or aggression concurrent with masculine sexrole.
Whether by slut shaming, creep shaming, or any other devious and malevolent ploy or tactic, the motivated goals, even if never openly and explicitly put forth, of these hypocritical cockblocking tactics of covert relational hostility, is to limit contacts and options for women and leave them vulnerable to exploitation within a relationship and/or the limited social circle of the bullying clique. Standard Pimpology, isolate and dominate!
So, always watch out for third party manipulation and intimidation. Social circles match making often have their own cynical agendas. And this goes especially for divisive intrigues, hostility and subterfuge, running interference even between strangers and newcomers, not to mention actually conniving and conspiring to drive wedges between long standing friends and couples and then pimping off the newly available desirable women onto blind dates to incur prestige and favors owed.
Such tactics and practices, the power over men by influence and domination over women, monopolizing connections no less than any other vital resource, is sometimes known as controlling the honey pot.
And the dirtier they play just to draw others in and keep them in their orbit, the more manipulative and codependent will be the relationships and peer interaction that accrues therefrom.
Never be a people pleaser, an approval seeker, especially not from abusive or indifferent high status individuals who don't really need you.
Catch-22. You can't win, so don't play. The only wining move is not to play.
Avoid both prudish Sexism and cooler-than-thou with extreme prejudice!
But are any of the three preceding claims scientific? What would be the Empirical standards of refutation? Under what conditions, particularly of culture and especially self fulfilling prophesy, might any of the assertions in question, tired traditional truisms as they may be, nevertheless ever tend to be true (correspondent to reality)? What would be the controls? And are there any pertinent statistics?
Actually, it turns out that initial sexual interaction as readily leads to longer term relationship as anything the more at least ostensibly Platonic. -slut shaming bigotry not withstanding, that so virulently insists: Those hussies cannot love as we do!
Therefore never protest innocence in response to slut shaming! Never step into that trap! "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." Hamlet, Act 3, scene 2, line 254. Actually, any protest is already too much: For as Aesop evinces in the fable of The Wolf and the Lamb, the unjust only become haughty and irritated by the reasoning of the innocent. Worse, as regards slut shaming no less than Homophobic bigotry or persecution of any other deviance or taboo, protesting circumstantial innocence decries only any alleged particular miscarriage of justice, thereby by implication, effectively legitimizing both whatever mythological criterion and twisted values of judgment in play, along with any quasi-authority of the self appointed judges, both of which instead must be publicly exposed, consistently undermined and denounced as humiliatingly as possible. Because bullying unpunished only persists.
Would you ever want to have a friend who hates, say: your ethnic group, but makes a special exception in your case? Would you ever then howsoever seek to tone down your ethnicity for their comfort and approval? No? Then why become demure, restrained and conditioned by dysfunctional unmanly men who actually loath women and fear the very sexual expression and acceptance that they also so badly yearn for?
"I have worked in MANY offices, and what's sometimes called "sexual harassment" goes on CONSTANTLY in ALL of them. However, it's USUALLY what's also called "flirting" and "teasing." Some women and men don't like to be flirted with or teased, and so we DON'T PESTER THEM. But some of the other men and women (the smart, friendly ones) are sort of HURT if you don't flirt and tease back and forth with them a little. (It's an ancient primate grooming thing, you wouldn't understand.) "sexual harassment" or "flirting" can become almost interchangeable, depending on which way you're out to GET somebody." rants the notorious Reverend Stang of the Church of the Subgenius.
Indeed differing expectations, if even they are at all clear, may co-abide in any willingness to live and let live. But, alas, all such good will and good sense so often be found in short supply must indeed be prized and cultivated.
Remember: A true gentleman does not speak of a lady's indiscretions. A real man seeks collusion, necessitating any degree of trust, not bullying domination predicated only upon implicit leverage or threat. In the words of James Dickey: “The true feeling of sex is that of a deep intimacy, but above all of a deep complicity.” The prospect of collusion is an overture to sex as a subversive act, as Orwell points out, is by that token the consummation of the deepest wish for acceptance obstructed by the worst fears of Anti-Sex entrapment and persecution manifestation of positive and negative transference, respectively, as defined by Freud. And so, it is only prudent to adopt strategies of social politics that will turn such vulnerability into a strategic advantage. Therefore, it is high time to begin by confronting the lies and the truth as to the nature of popularity, social prominence, and the strategic ramifications thereof:In school, for example, "Certain factors determine who belongs," According to Sociology Professor Patricia Adler. "For boys it's their athletic ability, 'coolness,' toughness or social skills, while for girls it relates to their looks, kinds of clothes, how much freedom they have and their socio-economic status. Girls have an ascribed status, where boys have an achieved status." But ascribed status often amounts to status by association or affiliation. Status that is conferred by one person or persons upon another or that rubs off, or such is hoped for. But in this one will be wise to consider the warning by Machiavelli to his Prince against ever calling upon stronger allies "who calls them in they are always disadvantageous; for losing, one is undone, and winning, one is their captive."
Popularity can either be the same thing as social prominence, or else popularity can be a reflection of demand as evidenced by competition. The popular person is not some pathetic hanger on hoping that popularity will rub off on them. Rather, the popular individual is the one others turn to in order to improve their own social standing and/or to network, professionally, socially andsexually. Whether such "popular" individuals are even well liked, even spinelessly agreeable or actually loathed and despised as oppressive and destructive bullies!
Machiavelli held that it is better to be feared than to be loved, even if it is also important to be feared without actually being hated.Thus, the way for a desirable woman to become influential, is networking by facilitation and connection, by lending her public support by paying attention only to such others as who will respond positively and appreciatively and who's own perception and standing will be seen to be enhanced by the affiliation, and all such value lost without impunity, to anyone who so ever whosoever would find the sheer temerity to metaphorically bite the proverbial hand that feeds them.
For such is the practical and public demonstration of popularity, of status, all via the acclaim for the manifest and obvious ability to confer upon others elevation in their own social standing and/or to open doors for others, socially, which additional latter power and opportunity must arise as a by product of the former.
In this case, it truly is better to give than to receive, in order to be sought after. Then it may be hoped that sex among other things, may even reside in the domain of entirely personal elective and free choice, as it should be, not a matter for consensus approval. That core privacy and autonomy may be regained and preserved. Even thus to flout the trumped up authority of whatever Alpha clique with impunity, because she remains in demand. And a woman with the initiative and in demand will not be such a vulnerable target for bullies and cannot so easily be slut shamed and made "cheap". Particularly not so long as men even compete for her favor. But this will only be possible for a woman who neither diminishes herself by relying upon artificial scarcity nor depends upon popular bullies for social introductions and networking. Which no even remotely desirable woman really actually does, unless she's pretty much been conned and/or intimidated into it. Don't be.
But in truth there remains every difference in principle, on the one hand, between being harmed, threatened or humiliated, such as may violate individual civil rights, and on the other hand, feeling offended, let alone actually choosing to take offense, on the other, from free expression. And in the very nature of autonomy and the protected civil right free expression, of that which, one way or another, others might not like to hear, comes the risk of giving offense.
Wherever there are powerful perpetrators protected by cronies, to that end expect to find an industry of scapegoating. Wherever there is, with complete impunity, scapegoating by utter tools and serial false accusers, look for the powerful perpetrations protected thereby.
Typically, frequently and most hypocritically, the highly placed executives, officials, quasi-officials and just socially prominent "popular" individuals (even if often actually widely feared and loathed), prominent and powerful frequent perpetrators of true ongoing sexual harassment and worse, typically protect and work closely together in unholy symbiosis facilitating enablement and impunity for shameless serial false accusers who are even known thereby with impunity, to habitually sexually entrap hapless vulnerable and bewildered scapegoats in order to assist in shielding the guilty. Indeed, the extremely disturbed Munchausens are often so well known to feel far safer making up stories manipulatively milking others for sympathy, rather than reaching out for real help by exposing their often genuinely harrowing travails and suffering; and the profoundly victimized are often known actually to protect their own abusers. heteronymous bullies, ever eager to join in abusing others, are especially unlikely to stand up to abuse from more dominant bullies in whatever cliquish hierarchies. Indeed generally, when there is much ado about nothing, there is little regard for that which presents important opportunity or danger. False accusation has always been a mainstay in evil doing; so, why should sex be out of bounds therefrom?
We all understand full well, to begin with, how, in whatever social context, the personally intrusive totalitarian zeal of McCarthyist witch hunting of scapegoats and rivals in whatever vested interest, as well as being so indefatigably spiteful and amoral, pointlessly hostile, mindlessly destructive, shockingly ignorant, plug stupid, yet sly and deceitful, being driven by malicious gossip and fantastical hearsay in dishonest concealment of controversy by consistent cult-like willful isolation from conscientious opposition and healthy skepticism, is also typically characterized by the most gross incompetence and negligence of every type, in any manner of whatever might even pass for investigation and response against real malfeasance of any kind whatsoever. Additionally, cronyism reliably affords aid, comfort and protection to true evil doers, typically so well socially embedded in whatever controlling cliques of bullies. And by design, serial false accusation only produces scapegoats to distract from real abuse and protect exactly those guilty parties, conspiratorially.
All the above is why true opponents of sexual harassment and of serial false accusation alike, must unite and close ranks against bullying of every kind, without being duped by the spectacle of incendiary hyperbole between various false flag operations and hate groups who effectively cooperate in the promulgation of injustice and flagrant disproportion.
The problem is, that the net for catching minnows is gossamer fine, spread tissue thin, so that powerful and stealthy sharks and barracudas will readily breach any such translucent boundaries with even less effort than regard, hypocritically sporting haloes as they prey upon the ensnared with utter impunity. Thus, the quaint notion that that because, of course, mindless consistency must be infallible, zero tolerance to begin with naturally escalates with the gravity of whatever the situation, is plainly refuted by repeated observation. Indeed, exactly the reverse is true. Zero tolerance and absurd hysteria consistently escalates with the triviality, injustice and dishonesty of whatever picayune peeve. Zero tolerance is hypocrisy. In the end, zero tolerance policies only mean the same thing as plain intolerance and all comes to nothing more than selective application, scapegoating, bogus security theater at the cost of actual security and public safety, impunity and rampant abuse of power. Instead, it will be impunity that escalates with the gravity and importance of whatever abuse. Zero tolerance is only policy commitment to intolerance, an ill considered debt of evil and sanctimony, that soon comes due. Zero tolerance is a feel-good resolution but unwary and ill considered for the unwise committee, doomed to endless strife the first time they will be held to it. Zero tolerance is like the net so fine as to catch minnows, let alone sharks and barracudas. Without any kind of due process, injustice only escalates unchecked, while security at all falls by the wayside.
Alas that all just such Byzantine intrigues may be most readily encouraged within any untrustworthy organization or society, wherein a "sacrificial lamb" must be regularly singled out in fraudulent manufacture of any bogus moral high ground even while protecting privileged evil doers. Thus are the malignant twin abuses nigh inextricable. Neither will ever be overcome at the cynically divisive expense of excusing the other.Since time immemorial, divisive scapegoating via the bearing of false witness has always been most prominent amid the repertoire of impunity for abusers and oppressors. Therefore, barring malignant persecutory ulterior agenda, respective advocates of either the genuinely victimized and the falsely accused, lives alike destroyed and both so often even driven to tragic and desperate overreaction including suicide, should be all too eager close ranks instead of engaging in zero-sum quarrel vying so senselessly to invalidate one another. -thereby only playing into the hands of evil doers. After all, enough targets of serial bullying regularly experience both whatever direct abuse and whatever kind of false allegation and malicious gossip in order to rationalize, justify and ever more widely promote and escalate said abuse. But at least both victims and accused of the most gravely criminal offenses, do receive any kind of due process, whereas the more petty either the bullying or the false accusation and picayune innuendo of malicious gossip, the greater the unchecked impunity all thereof without recourse against abuse of power. Alas that truth seeking is so unpopular, whilst entrenched blanket denial both of every conceivable variety of sexual misconduct and of every possible vile stratagem of serial false accusation alike, all persist, despite each new and sordid revelation and ensuing scandal after another. Not every rebuff should rightly invite accusations nor favor found be demonized as the fruits of exploitation. One way or another, targets of bullying are so often resented the more in malicious gossip of exaggerated rancor and indistinct innuendo and via covert relational hostility, should they succeed rather than in they fail, romantically as in any other aspect of life. And through it is so often said that Hell hath no fury than out from scorned rejection, nevertheless sheer self serving disappointment, fucker's remorse, consent withdrawn retroactively, may be often become even more vengeful. For there is no slut or creep more reviled than just a bad lay! And while unconsenting violation is a humiliation, lies and innuendo may even be the more terrifying.
Rather than anyhonest accountability for whatever ones actions in reality, their actual motivation or responsibility for even the most readily foreseeable consequences; instead, shameless pandering hypocritical Political Correctness amounts to accountability only for the image of ones actions, as filtered through whatever ideological collective, peer group or clique. Systematically perpetuating the most flagrant injustice in any social context, pointlessly maximizing shame and distress all around, the amoral cowardly and cronyistic bureaucratic liability phobia and commotion that persecutorialy panders to the most obvious lunatic false accusation while suppressing legitimate grievances and consistently ignoring actual problems. The threat presented to amoral cowardly and cronyistic craven bureaucratic mentality by the injustice of false and/or absurd and picayune allegation or even vague innuendo, is addressed by full collaboration with every calculating hysteria, while the threat presented to amoral cowardly and cronyistic craven bureaucratic mentality by any genuine grievance is just as consistently addressed by metaphorically sweeping it all under the proverbial rug. Therefore any credible and serious grievance may be cruelly punished and ignored. On the other hand, attention will be lavished upon picayune or false allegations typically concocted claiming, if not unwanted and/or frequent attempts to initiate sexual relationship, the even of howsoever tasteless prurient or even merely heretical remarks within earshot. All the while, of course, all manner of actual intentionally devious bullying harassment continues with utter impunity. Incentives are extortion, fraudulent litigation, rejection and spite in defamation of the target enhancing the popularity of the bully. Any claim, regardless of how absurd, can take a long time to refute if ever, and the publicity from a long drawn out struggle for justice often remains adverse and costly even after vindication. Meanwhile, legitimate grievances easily die stillborn.
The malignant sophistries of sexism and of reverse sexism alike: Bogus social justice crusades are all too often little more than the most flagrant and virulent witch hunts and cravenabuse of power. Conspiratorial brazen lying and playing for vastly underserved sympathy entails none of the genuine risked vulnerability of true lonely and suffering painful disclosure. Unlike craven false accusers, the actually victimized must consider the danger of further trauma and stress, even likely attack upon their character and scapegoating in order to impeach credibility of their testimony, in deciding whether or not to go forward in even making an issue at all, let alone howsoever actually seeking redress. And such precisely is what inspires the disastrously misguided Fauxmenist Patriarchical mandate of utterly uncritical and unwavering support for all such accusation even into quick and underhandedly secretive bush league vigilante travesty of justice, and damn any troublesome skepticism or rights of the accused. Worse, serial false accusers tend to be flagrant Munchausens who may well even resent ever competing with any genuinely victimized and vulnerable whom they will likely then strive to ward off, as ever, the bad driving out the good.
The alarmingly high percentage of false and or picayune accusations one way or another, proverbially crying "wolf", not only promotes hysteria, but robs both credibility and vital resources so desperately needed for whatever crucial and desirable investigation and redress of all manner of real dire abuse, violence and degradation. -Something that the Fauxmenists are no more willing to consider, than the idiot Misogamists are capable of comprehending that the way to drive home their ostensible point about man hating double standards, is to close ranks with Feminism in protest events, putting the man bashers on the spot, daring them to continue pretending that men are never slut shamed or indeed, even raped, only every day.
Therefore, anyone embracing either cause, so clearly and inextricably bound together, merely as a pretext for invalidating the other, only pursues anulterior agenda of scapegoating and abuse while planting their hypocritical fraudulently self justifying false flag of Existential Validation on a false moral high ground of self serving vengeful sanctimony. The prudish Fauxminists would have us all believe that the injustice of serial false accusation, damaging innuendo and ostracism, is a small price to be paid by undeservingly privileged penis people anyhow (experiencing only either lust or hunger, sometimes even simultaneously; but that's confusing!), in service of whatever greater good exactly, while the wounded domineering Misogamists live down to the simmering contempt of every vindictive man-basher, by extracting from the ugly truth of serial false accusation, the malignant lie that all women have got it coming anyhow. Worst of all, of course the most exploitative among men and the most virulent man bashers so readily put aside their difference in order to collaborate in cockblocking. Truly, the two camps so richly deserve one another. But the rest of us remain trapped in the withering crossfire of Reactionary culture-war, that can only be ended by marginalizing all hate groups alike.
Alas that passions so enflamed by the issue of sexual harassment and assault are so prevailingly misdirected and exploited for purposes of intimidation, oppression and the indiscriminate vengeance of manbashing, whilst manbashing and false accusation, after all modes of bullying often sinking sexual harassment in their own right, along with the general topic of ubiquitously dysfunctional sexroles in society to begin with, are legitimate issues of men's rights all to often taken as pretexts for all manner of the most absurd and wounded would be domineering Misogamism. After all, at any moment and under any circumstances, anyone may be pressed and cowed into hesitation and silence for fear that to speak up may reflect poorly, exercise futility, bring adverse consequences or even do harm. But the truth will out, that the cruelty of any mode of bullying against any target is unacceptable, and any co-opting of the struggle by cause inspired petty vigilantism, covert relational hostility, even gas lighting organized orchestrated harassment, all manner of persecution and counter persecution crusades, of oppressive conniving angry fanatics of any stripe, is a threat that must be continually resisted. CliqueBusters is a truly egalitarian tactical and procedural concept of fairness in action, going beyond merely taking up sides halfcocked or else simple passive bystanding ignoring all danger and suffering.
In the cult-like fervored ideal of complete support and credence to the vulnerable and victimized, while ever more stringently lowering the bar for accusation of sexual misconduct whatsoever, the most fanatical and misguided crusaders against sexual assault and sexual harassment may even be heard to take great pride in how easy they can make it for victims of sexual assault and sexual harassment to raise the alarm and obtain swift assistance, thereby mobilizing immediate action against the accused, utterly denying by whatever naked Sophistry the very existence or occurrence ever of false accusation and backbiting, let alone that such measures of swift response and guilt by accusation if not sheer innuendo, will also most conveniently facilitate false accusation, malicious or just howsoever mistaken, misguided or utterly lunatic. So, how feasible can it really be to respond to legitimate and false accusation alike, as if in unspoken implicit acceptance of the suffering because false accusation as the inevitable cost for effective response in defense of howsoever any truly victimized?
The question us begged, because precisely such distorted activism typically never troubles to delineate any protected domain of free expression including simply ordinary rudeness, let alone the rights of the accused and protection thereof. For the bad faith of self righteousness is inevitably devoid of any thirst for truth and justice. After all, the traditional bogus knight-errant's unquestioningly loyal and duty bound defense of feminine fragility, likewise makes no exception, typically mandating any abuse of power against against any putative transgressor, even mealy-mouthed and apologetic yet unrelenting, regardless of clear misunderstanding or even clearly malicious and fallacious accusation or entrapment, no matter how utterly picayune to begin with. So, how does such question begging reactionary flagrantly patriarchic oppression ever successfully masquerade as militant Feminism? Indeed, there can be common grounds even between the most polar extremes. After all, even Betty Freidan, the mother of Feminism, no less even than arch Reactionary Rush Limbaugh, despised the hysterical manbashing Feminazi (or if one prefers: Fauxminist) highjackers of true legitimate authentic rugged sex-positive egalitarian Feminism.
In the abstract they may oppose persecution against gender and orientation, yet nothing they do or say ever seems to be actually sex-positive in defense of consenting interaction and expression. After all, any hint of such may be prudishly deemed upsetting to fragile femininity and hence sexual harassment. And as the intimidating specter of manbashing looms ever larger, complaining about it only seems guilty minded and is thus greatly inhibited. Can prudish Moralistic judgmental crusades of renewed slut shaming ever be far behind? Indeed, even though, somehow, long standing cliquish cronies, thick as thieves, remain seemingly somehow oblivious even to the most flagrant contradiction of ostensible respective ideologies between them, commonly polarizational Manichean fanaticism prevails, regarding criticism or disagreement on the part of others, even regarding strategy towards the same at least ostensibly desired results, as an obstacle and an irritation if not as enmity out right. Instead of open and lively controversy, self-righteous conspiratorial gossip and blackballing of authors and dissidents who's message meets with disapproval, from public appearance opportunities, ever rears its ugly head anew. Indeed, as ever, Political Correctness allows for the non specific catch all charge or grievance of insensitivity, especially in the most picayune over sensitivity to nuance. So you'd better not pout! Better do everything to join in and express your support like a good crony!
And so, in the end, any pretext for cockblocking in overture to the Honor Protection Racket of sexual trade unionism, yields the same result, the bad driving out the good. In all manner of Stockholm Syndrome to whatever degree, the exploited are so often so frustratingly and perplexingly seen actually to side with their abusers even as is so well known and familiar, against police officers in violent domestic complaints, or anyone else only trying to save them, let alone as the more pedestrian, against whatever romantic rivals and excluded scapegoats and targets of bullying. Moreover, again, serial false accusers tend to be flagrant Munchausens who may well even resent ever competing with any genuinely victimized and vulnerable whom they will likely then seek to drive off. After all, bullies regard the victimized as weaklings and luzers, and the liability phobic bureaucratic mentality of proverbially covering their collective asses, will prevail, so that genuine abuse will be covered up and perpetuated, even by abuse of power and scapegoating even from the most blatantly crazy false accusations and defamation, harping upon the most trivial and picayune nuance, and other outrages of backbiting as cavalier fabricated accusations of the most monstrous predations or even, indeed, the literal supernatural. It cannot otherwise unfold and never does.
A cockblocker is anyone either blatantly or else sly and deviously, covertly or manipulatively obstructing and undermining the progress of any two or more others howsoever warming and drawing closer together. Cockblocking is a form of Sexual Harassment and predatory exploitation typically culminating by grooming targets of sexual exploitation into the Honor Protection Racket. Indeed, just as with rapists, cockblocking Relational Bullies may be at all acquainted or utter strangers to those whom they victimize. Cockblocking is covert relational hostility. Cockblockers are Relational Bullies who so intrusively divide and conquer.
Cockblocking much as with serial bullying in general, may begin with any number of even seemingly innocuous but obstructive dick moves or Transactionally fraudulently bumbling innocence and willfully inept blithely clumsy foolish and gauche Schlemiel or even evil clown headgames, or even Pakleds, taking sly pleasure in making a mess of things and getting away with it.
Propinquity is key in forging new acquaintance. Cockblocking aims at propinquity hijack, devious control, the management, curtailment, and orchestration of propinquity. Blindness to or blithe acceptance of such social order is endemic to heteronomy. But social support for autonomy facilitates the free agency open interpersonal networking facilitating ease of free association, capably, beyond the right merely in the abstract, individually, consensually, without waiting upon wider consensus or approval.
The ugly repertoire of cockblocking typically consists in (provocation, disruption, agitation, messing things up, feigning even apologetic innocence, just kidding around, making no amends but continuing in the same vein, and various sly disruptions within whatever manipulatively plausible deniability of intentional coercion in order so as to manipulatively elicit cognitive dissonance, indeed so that even past whatever shock, mortification and element of surprise, protest will only seem paranoid and unsporting, thus thus making things the more heated and difficult. Alas hence that all to often, even the most admirable restraint of the hapless nebbish or fall guy of the Schlemiel or evil clown may often go unrecognized and unrewarded.
• "It’s important to keep your eye out for a friend that’s in danger of making a grave error": Statement from an insecure controlling Existentially Validating cockblocker
Slut shaming extorts terrified passive bystanding from women, then taken as accent by silence, in order to permit cockblocking of prospective romantic rivals. In turn, via the engineering of sheer malignant propinquity, cockblocking socially isolates women within cliques of slut shaming cockblocking bullies and cronies.
Cockblocking defamation, ostracism and harassment clears the field of the most benign candidates first, serving thereby the well organized and cronyistic vested interests of the most predatory exploitation instead. The bad drives out the good. Hypocrisy is by design.
All "fair game" tactics of covert relational hostility and cockblocking ploys as categorized under under the Persecutor-Rescuer headgame, may also include sly or just rude vulgar diversionary tactics and humiliating practical jokes that aim at distraction and shock to derail fragile and tentative connections. But, for the prepared, even just such bullying ploys may even make for ideal opportunities to turn the tables. Clique Busters stings will create the opportunity from the predictability of bullies and their misbehavior. After all, each of these well understood inadequate social roles merely echo the dysfunctional family. -Unless all such are exposed and deflated continually.
• Romantic Justice
For with the first groundwork of impunity thereby established, the cockblocking modes of bullying in relentless escalation, with shameless backbiting, ambient stealth abuse, and amoral sociopathic covert relational hostility that will only escalate, the bad ever driving out the good, in shameless exploitation and undermining of all civility. Cockblockers are not just maladjusted and hostile lone bullies. The typically well practiced and coordinated ubiquitous coercion and manipulation of prudish cockblocking in elimination clearing the field of competition from romantic rivals, invariably thwarts and excludes the most genuine and benign candidates first, ill prepared for such onslaught of petty skullduggery typically replete with the most self-serving hypocritically Moralistic defamation, witch hunts and abuse of power, leaving only any howsoever more facile, even utter tools, and most readily serving to the greatest advantage of the worst and most exploitatively social and sexual predators in every malignant collusion. And this is intolerable! Friends should look out for one another against bullying. But also, any society will be judged by hospitality and tolerance, how strangers are welcomed and protected. Therefore let there be no more credence to propaganda lies in defense of cockblocking as in any way redeeming or pro-social, any more that the vigilantism of any other covert relational hostility.
Persistent overt harassment can only eventually desensitizes the target to all manner of overt rudeness, as shadowing and menacing gas lighting confuses, bedevils and increasingly sensitizes the target to tiny and innocuous details, all leaving the target too helplessly numb and distraught under attack, and too isolated, jumpy and suspicious the rest of the time. The target of bullying even thus stalked and bedeviled, may then hypocritically even themselves be accused of stalking, even while struggling only to avoid the bullies as much as possible.
Women, especially hot chicks, are said to be
the social currency, cynically exploited and social access traded for prestige and
influence, as the best
After all, what is cooler or more persuasive of social standing for any man,
than to be surrounded by beautiful girls? Indeed, when even one attractive
woman finds another person attractive and therefore tends to include, trust
and show interest in the former, the latter's friends then all tend to agree
and follow suit, even as if by osmosis! Indeed, even the new friends of an
attractive person are often seen as more attractive.
does the "heavy lifting".
All hence, and all "White Knight" moralistic hypocrisy aside, no protective altruism but only all of the above is what actually motivates pimp-like self serving malignant bullies to work so diligently and systematically to isolate, manipulate and control women by slut shaming subtext beneath elicitation of cognitive dissonance and engage in such relentlessly virulent cockblocking covert relational hostility and even such scurrilous calumny against social and romantic rivals malignantly characterized and falsely accused, especially interesting but vulnerable loners and oddballs who enjoy taking social risk, even without expectation. For it is autonomy, daring and initiative that is heteronymously so envied and resented, rather than success and privilege. Even talented bullies and cronies never play fair and on their own merits. By demonizing the target of bullying ostracism, the "White Knight" cockbl;ocker even pretends heroic public service. Typically, the object of the cockblocker's protection racket is intimidated and not consulted. Indeed, manipulative elicitation of cognitive dissonance typically ensues, wherein the even entirely unwilling damsel in distress, is reflexively intimidated into passivity, and then supplied with conscious rationalization. We are all vulnerable to elicitation of cognitive dissonance at one time or another.
bullyspeak pretzel logic
Tautologically, unwanted advances are advances that are unwanted. The entirely reasonable and decent invited inference however, going further than literal tautology, is that unwanted advances are unwanted by the same party that is the object of said advances, in line with values of individual rights and free agency. But such need not be the case, especially not in typical bullyspeak conflation of two and three party interaction, wherein all too often said unwanted advances may in actuality only be particularly unwanted by entirely third parties with self-servingly possessive or acquisitive controlling agendas entirely of their own. Another common place assumption is that reciprocal desire predicates all manner of social interaction, short term or long term. Indeed, in the sheer controlling inhospitality of bullythink, a stranger is unwanted until attachments are forged, and not to be wanted may be tantamount to be actually some kind of an undesirable and thus fair game for bullying. Impunity for social isolation and exclusion by whatever means and tactics, thereby becomes self validating for sly and smugly Sadistic and unaccountable Relational Bullies
Social support is well understood to be amongst the key determinants for success. But in cliquish heteronomy, the constant jockeying for social approval is the only licit avenue of outreach in seeking to forge new interpersonal connections. Making friends on one's own may often be frowned upon. And chatting up attractive romantic prospects is quite simply indiscrete and regarded as poaching. Awkwardness marks the vulnerability sought for in targeting exploitation and abuse, whist facility to elicit positive reaction only rouses jealousy. You don't buck the pecking order of what is sometimes even referred to as the social/sexual trade union! Even newbies and strangers may be expected to shun one another until properly introduced in due course of social integration. Ever skilled in the application of pressure, devious coercion and manipulation, undermining their rivals, and all towards the bullying imposition of their own expectations upon others, cliquish cronies need no actual majority and no consensus except among themselves, typically living as they generally do, in the proverbial echo chamber.
The Pursuer-Rescuer headgame of cynical and exploitative cockblocking arises from the Transactional Controlling Parent. To their own ends, Patriarchal exploitative cockblockers typically steal the woman's voice by playing the White Knight. Thus it become awkward for the targeted competing lone male suitor (or: sneaky rutter) to protest, given ambiguity of possible ascent by silence on the part of the woman in contention. How cockblockers get into a woman's head: The controlling cockblocker's sly and sinisterly whispered "Is this guy bothering you?" not only plants the smug backbiting seed of hesitation and doubt, but also threatens and intimidates the woman, threatening her own safety and security. Translated out from the cognitively dissonant subtext might be more fully rendered thus: "Is this guy bothering you? After all, you'd never so much as consider consenting, because, what are you, a slut? This is for your own good, dear!" Q.E.D: The Sexual Harassment tactic of covert relational bullying that is known as cockblocking is first of all predicated upon slut shaming! Otherwise, simply harassing competing suitors might not come off so slick.
Women need consciousness and confidence building to speak up, play out the Transactional Antithesis in order to publically shatter the bullying cockblocker's Existential Validation, and laugh off slut shaming cockblockers to send them slinking away in humiliation, by simply scorning their devious Sexual Harassment! There can be no accommodation or thought that cockblockers can ever be put to any good purpose. That's just denial.
Malignant patriarchal slut shaming cockblockers must be relentlessly and systematically exposed, denounced and ridiculed for the evil they do. Only then will true sexual liberation, freedom, safety and tolerance ever be attained.
undermining attunement play
Playfulness reduces stress and brightens the mood. A feature of play is the self regulation of arousal and stimulation via individual control of the play situation, that bullying annihilates. Play is active pleasurable engagement that opens connection and attachment, learning and growth. Playfulness and fun are attractive and disarming, signaling good will and flexibility. As Eve Tushnet expounds, Eros is deep reciprocal engagement bridging into alien difference. In the words of James Dickey: “The true feeling of sex is that of a deep intimacy, but above all of a deep complicity.” And the very first fragile spark of that complicity may indeed often fly at first sight! Important spontaneous and intrinsically motivated playful genuine non verbal rapport includes simple flirtation and joy of attunement play consisting of reciprocal "bed room eyes," sustained eye contact on both part, radiant smiles, momentary immediate connection, attachment, shared laughter, fun and social "grooming" honestly eliciting values of any permissive sense of safety, imprinting trust and inclusion, even reciprocal comfort template learning motivated from the Natural Child Transactional ego state.
A focused, engaged state of open vulnerability is emotionally unguarded also of personal space and boundaries of civility. And bullies, so heteronymously lacking inner boundaries of autonomy, treat the individual spatial and emotional comfort boundaries of others with such flagrant contempt. For bullies, then, all that is genuine and vulnerable is both an unforgivable affront and an irresistibly delicious opportunity for abuse that they expect to get away with. When inhibition is lowered in what seems a secure and convivial social environment, bringing out all that is genuine via elicitation of the Positive Transference and feelings of acceptance, that tempts unguarded vulnerability, thereby producing a prime target rich environment for bullies, unless effective measures of civility are first enacted. But the solution may even be found within the very problem: Indeed, with covert surveillance, this very danger of unguarded vulnerability, can become the bait, ideal for a CliqueBusters sting operation in order to turn the tables.
What bullies, as heteronymous agents of alienation, most revile is neither awkward ineptitude nor enviable grace, but spontaneity of natural interaction. To quote George Santayana: “One's friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human.” indeed, in the words of James Dickey: “The true feeling of sex is that of a deep intimacy, but above all of a deep complicity.” And the very first fragile spark of that complicity may indeed often fly at first sight! Important spontaneous and intrinsically motivated playful genuine reciprocal spontaneity includes simple flirtation, joy and non verbal rapport or subtext of adult attunement play consisting of "bed room eyes," eye contact, radiant smiles, momentary immediate connection, attachment, shared laughter, fun and the fun of human "primate grooming rituals" honestly eliciting values of any permissive sense of safety, imprinting trust and inclusion in such mirror neuron initiated endorphin besotted natural and utterly irrational momentary iota of even seeming shared trust, even reciprocal comfort template learning motivated from the Natural Child Transactional ego state. Cockblocking works by connivance of dystressfully slut shaming, humiliating the targets for even our smallest pleasures, under whatever elicitation of cognitive dissonance afforded by moralistic pretexts of antediluvian bogus knight errantry. And nothing is both more infuriating and tempting of such abuse to sociopathic emotionally damaged bullying self appointed gatekeepers so devoid of all empathy, than to come upon others so distracted from their surroundings, vulnerably engrossed in such momentary spontaneous engagement with one another.
“A definition of attunement ‘is a kinesthetic and emotional sensing of others knowing their rhythm, affect and experience by metaphorically being in their skin, and going beyond empathy to create a two-person experience of unbroken feeling connectedness by providing a reciprocal affect and/or resonating response’. (Erksine 1998). One could say it is our ability to be present to, and with, another’s expression of their experience.”
— ''The Art of Attunement'
“Because what loneliness responds to best is a deep and secure sense of trust and faith in another person, a very, very deep sense of emotional intimacy. I use the word attunement in the book and I think that's a lovely word referring to the sense in which we can feel psychically and emotionally connected to another person in a sort of wordless way.”
— Emily White, 'All In The Mind' interview with Natasha Mitchell
The ys have it
Anathema to the ever secretive slinking shame and ulterior agenda characteristic of cynical heteronomy, simple y contact that so betrays individual desires and intentions to vulnerability and shame, by exposing first reactions and inclinations, by that token reciprocally acknowledges the other's existence before any spoken word much less action. The constitutionally protected freedom of involuntary nonverbal expression in eye contact can convey warmth, lust, humor, or the awkwardness of insecurity like a doe trapped in in a headlight, even the exchange of shocked humiliation and suffering for the most smug self righteous and Sadistic delight, and then returning the serve with the righteous anger and contempt of the abused and slandered. -All that may be so readily and shockingly shamed and defamed as: staring, threatening, menacing, yes, in our day, still: the veritable glancing blow, as it where, of the evil y. Indeed, in these times when the bar for serial false Sexual Harassment complaints under the anonymity of veritable rape shield, has been lowered to the sour note of allegedly being eyed or even so little as an errant glance, perhaps from the proverbial office water cooler, who can be prepared to protest their innocence? What possible defense can be proffered? Who keeps an up to the minute log of every their own nuance and micro-expression of nonverbal communication? The self appointed gatekeepers of popularity, so readily and blithely cultivate all paralytic hysterias amid Orwellian masses of sheeple, downcast and isolated even amid their own teeming masses. No wonder the most horrifically deformed so often love the innocence of children who, knowing no better, stare at them without compunction instead of so squeamishly averting all gaze. Therefore, who is there in this world too beautiful and precious even to be gazed upon by strangers?
Indeed, the delusionally cliquish and antisocial cognitively dissonant nuance vigilante Manners Nazis ever entrench themselves deeper into whatever fraudulent occupation of some fraudulent and chimerical moral high ground in all such escalating flagrant hostility towards whatever oddballs, scapegoats with no one to defend us, romantic competitors and any other targets of bullying and exploitation that such typically conniving sociopaths so blithely innuendo as howsoever vaguely deviant and undesirable. In the eyes of such picayune chronic instigators and abusers, it's always the fault of others: look what they made us do! Cockblockers are attachment disordered control freaks chronically actingout jealous rage from the repressed and repressive prudish Controlling Parent/Adaptive Child Transactional ego state dyad, especially in such virulent hostility, slut shaming and taboo towards perfectly normal adult attunement play, non verbal rapport or subtext.
"We where having such a lovely time, and then quite suddenly... !" Such covert relational hostility, sabotage, abusive humiliation and psychological warfare tactics of build up to sudden, vulnerable and shattering let sown in reversal of unguarded optimistic romantic fortunes, in self deprecating humor, is sometimes whimsically termed Cockblockolypse!
Not long suppressed, always testing to see just how much they can get away with, the stages of hostility steadily escalate from preaggressive behavior of inroads and encroachment upon personal boundaries indifferent towards the rights of another and generation of a hostile social environment, into whatever individual or collective pattern of overt and covert hostility. Beyond the usual range of self serving abuse of power and covert relational hostility, preemptive social exclusion and sabotage, in ever emboldened mounting stages of hostility, a typically cockblocker will even go so far in sex negative Sexual Harassment as to create disruption while people are so intently talking and flirting, or blatantly and even physically disturbing other people while they are kissing. -By demands for attention or petty distractions and interruptions, by flagrant rudeness, hostility, intimidation, outrageous jealous displays, moralistic outbursts and coercion, all exploiting fear, surprise, intimidation, civilized restraint and manipulative elicitation of cognitive dissonance, even by all manner of outrageous and nasty devious pranks, ideal subject for covert videography for counterpropaganda countergossip. in order to turn the tables.
Such Sexist bullies, themselves macho male or patriarchic female and often fauxminist, Existentially Validate themselves by damaging innuendo and defamation against romantic rivals and targets of bullying, and moralistically in pretense of altruism on behalf of the women they so cronyisticaly and possessively work to intimidate, control, isolate and exploit. Like all bullying,