The range of sexuality  

sensitive material as essential in competent fiction writing     

EVERYTHING YOU EVER

WANTED TO WRITE ABOUT SEX*  

*But where too breathless and demure  to research! 

 

\

 

Writing is like making love.  Don't worry about the orgasm, just concentrate on the process. 

—Isabel Allende

 

The only good plot is a delayed fuck.
—Louis B. Mayer

If you write fiction you are, in a sense, corrupted. There's a tremendous corruptibility for the fiction writer because you're dealing mainly with sex and violence. These remain the basic themes, they're the basic themes of Shakespeare whether you like it or not.

    —Anthony Burgess

 

A dirty mind is a joy forever.

   —Oscar Wilde

•more aphorisms

 

Q. What is sex appeal? 

-Or, Was it Good for You Too? 

A. crucial to believable biology and culture with supply and demand in any Model of Love Economics in World Building, can onstage Sex in the Story and issues of fantastic carnality, after all no less consequential and significant than in the innate reality comprehensively overviewed, and with all the social drama of erotic transgression, indeed, such an elemental life long motivating dimension of the human condition and the world we live in or most any other, hence reciprocally integral to much the same writing competency as, and surely among the fundamentals of fiction writing, ever properly comprise a subject matter apart? 

Even if not by anything so vulgar or blatant as any particular explicit sex act or most basic plotline of an encounter, enticement, onstage sex appeal or seduction of one kind or another or by one means or another may be crucial in a story, or otherwise, one way or another, for sex appeal generally to factor into relationship and interaction and provide the opportunity for one character to flatter, flirt, seduce, beguile, to motivate or influence, even manipulate, or, likewise, to be motivated or influenced, even manipulated, by another character, to succumb or to resist, colluding and abetting or refusing and defecting, trust or control, even in confrontation with sexual politics at it's very worst.

The three motivating principle cofactors in effective manipulation also applicable in pandering, are whatever the incentive and disincentive vulnerabilities of the target(s), the tactics of the manipulator(s), and time for the relationship to develop under whatever conditions, free or captive.

The phenomenon of manipulation is best defined as undue advantage from trickery via the exploitation of affective innate and conditioned triggers or "push buttons" to undermine and overwhelm, even barrage, resistance, caution, better judgment and autonomy of the target, via insidiously motivating subtext of emotional positive incentive and negative disin> of emotional positive incentive and negative disincentive. –As distinct from open coercion alone or substantive disinformation, lies. Typically, the manipulator obfuscates the nature of their coercion exercised, along with whatever self-serving advantage thereof, whatever their own ultimate motivation.

Positive incentive manipulation or pandering is such as deviously appeals to value in fantasy and desire, love, sex greed, promoting false hope of whatever gain, in order to circumvent or overwhelm resistance, caution, better judgment and autonomy of the target. Whereas an example of negative disincentive manipulation, such insult as condescension that after all comes of love can be less painful than insult that comes without it, or more so, or equally so, as the case may be: but be that as it may, it is, in any case significantly more harmful. This is because insult provokes anger and hostility, but hostility towards people who even sincerely profess to love you and act on your own best interest is curbed and turned inwards, internalized, and experienced on the level of inner conflict of self-hostility, namely guilt. Such deceptive appeals undermining the target’s credulity and defenses even whilst actually exercising coercion constitute often likewise internalized flagrantly manipulative behavior, conscious or unconscious, selfish, indifferent or just desperate.

Because variables of rounded characterization and situation from which levels of conflict arise, must include not only anatomical sex, physique, voice and so on, as well as mannerisms and style, together with sexual preference or orientation, sexroles, gender identity with double-standards and also the yin/yang of gender culture and stereotypical dysfunctionality, such as, incidentally, may also be associated Epistemologically as rational and Empirical Versus intuitive or not only culturally but more specifically to setting geographically as Occidental Versus Oriental:

"Chore-nography?" Men are said to be happier with more sex and less nagging, as for particular example, towards any man's share of the housework in cohabitation. Reciprocally, women are said to be happier with less exhaustion from drudgery and more leisure for healthy sex. For as the old rhymed couplet goes: "A man must work from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done." Thematically, is the standoff then, a Feminist sociological problem of gender equality and responsibility, the mounting distress of ever longer hours towards dual income and the ancient and once again enduring human struggle with endless travail itself, or just Transactional Psychodynamics of classic resentment and codependency?

Be a mensch!  For Menschlichkeit or creditable humaneness and integrity, is the art of being a mensch, upfront, honest, autonomous, responsible and accountable, yet gentle, with benevolence, empathy and sympathy. Indeed, a synthesis of single minded convergent thinking with nuanced situational Gestalt may be achievable in the intellectual cultural Jewish trait or aptitude of justice, proportion, perspective and whole integrity, especially as refined in prewar Germany, by Einstein, Freud and Marx, Relativistically, via the integrative synthesis of divergent frames of reference or POV, everything from time dilation and inner life to a larger view of economics, overviews and special cases. - All factors that may play into differing values and levels, priority and autonomous coping in case of inner conflict between responsibilities and/or interests, honestly true to oneself and straight with others. 

• Is Chivalry dead?

Why then, must dearest lovers compromise and sacrifice all that is of real meaning? Why, only for a codependent false sense of security. Such are controlling fear based relationships. A zero-sum relationship is one in which the parties each gain only from what the other gives up, but non-zero-sum denotes productively actually coming out ahead. Reciprocal gains without reciprocal cost. Indeed, ultimately, true love should be free to Altruism, advancing the interests of the beloved, and deserves reciprocation. And so, what must accrue, lofty romantic perseverance and illusion, vulgar and cynical tit-for-tat, even jeopardy of the complete breakdown of trust? Indeed, the shortest distance, the straight line, is the least common path to any happy ending, if at all. Nor will anything so simple, with no obstacle or complication to keep the outcome in doubt, ever make for drama, only pandering at best.

The Rules, so called, codify common ruthless manipulation by women, basically by gold diggers of one stripe or another. Although, if it makes anyone feel any better, it may often be suggested that all such classic feminine whiles and connivance are but the classic tactics of the oppressed, collaboration with the abuser adaptive of real deadly captivity even dating from ancient time frame. And even in recent generations, livelihood and survival remained very much at stake.

But now a days in our affluent world, there is the painful luxury of reflection, the Socratic worthlessness of the unexamined life, and the tragedy of women playing the same games, but playing so very badly, even seemingly Masochistically, the reality of Stockholm Syndrome (even as prevalent, by degrees) being nowhere ever near as gratifying as the kinky fairytale.

Intensity, uncertainty, every Technique of Suspense plotting, temptation, curiosity and hesitation, all the sexual tension of freedom, autonomy, choice, responsibility, all calling to self-realization hither to inconceivable, the permissiveness of emerging and relevant romance from crushingly repressive tradition of honor killing, prostitution, arranged marriage or cutthroat mercenary matrimonial competition around the world, is the outward struggle with maddening indecision, levels of inner conflict as often arises between desires and confusion or fear, between what one wants and what one thinks one wants or ought to, desperation for validation, guilt. Between the crutches of insecurity and the yearning for genuine warmth, fraudulent conditionality versus genuine intimacy.

Indeed, the reason nice guys finish last, is because the sheer cruelty and emptiness of the old wretched game, and a very serious business it was, the sexrole of exploitative cynical struggle for survival by womankind effectively obstructed or deterred from gainful careers reserved for their men folk, depends upon frigid depraved indifference and avoiding the central tragedy of historical Romance, namely the dire danger of involvement and grave sacrifice presented in a man that a woman might care for, therefore useless from the perspective or POV of a controlling gold digger, being however for real, emotionally accessible and at all beyond simple control by manipulation.

Now days, however, the rising standard of living has reduced real literal survival pressure enough that emotional need emerges and loneliness takes hold. But the same intergenerational Transactional "script" remains, now become maladaptive.

Hence, not only do such desperate women still expertly sabotage love, but they have lost the sterner stuff for effective exploitation of men. As a result, they attain involvement, but mostly in the Ecclesiastical futility of pointlessly unhappy melodrama, aggravation and petty vicissitude. They have lost tradition and still fallen behind the times, abiding in limbo and achieving the worst of both worlds, a decided dramatic low point.

Hence, a sympathetic romantic heroine is one who finds in herself the courage for growth and hope to reach out, and her romantic lead is he who awakens her. Otherwise, to paraphrase Nietzsche, even a princess of fools is a laughable bimbo herself! -And her Prince Charming is likely just another thugly playa. Antithetical foils.

Characters develop out of situation, and plot ideas emerge from characters in different situations and the actions undertaken because of their relationships and conflict on many levels, the friction entailed as characters come into contact, dramatic conflict on many levels, internal and external, classic reversal in social connection as in the estrangement of the bullied idealistic whistle blower.

 Put the whistle blowers in charge!

All manner of situations, even quite unforeseen, may present any range of obstacles, from an empty bread box standing in the way of the perfect sandwich,  perplexing riddles and secrets denying truth, engineering limitations in the path of invention or a natural disaster barring very survival, but also, no less, a bad hair day spoiling Romance or a misunderstanding threatening love.

The dramatic efficacy of revealing and motivated subtext is in frustrated desire, giving rise to need and ingenuity. Drama is the gripping and engaging tension-laden presentation of conflict on many levels, whether or not the storyline is even believable. Drama is conflict inherent to situation, conflict being more than merely an event, but a condition, a relationship. Alas, however, beware! poor staging or presentation of conflict on any level dissipates inherent drama. No Powderpuff Pitty-Pat! Throughout the plot, every Technique of Suspense plotting is heightened as things are made more difficult, the personal emotional stakes are raised, and character growth is pressed by worsening complications for an active protagonist. So navigate the various possible paths and dead ends and to find stories always dig deeper for insight into struggle.

Each event in sequence that follows from motivated character action consistent with background, must in turn initiate from observable proximate stimulus unless entirely emerging from inner life, and, either way, rather than simply remaining mysterious, known only the mind of the character, must one way or another be shown intelligibly to the audience, even if none of any other characters; either way, in turn, quite probably another vitally important plot point. Whenever the cause and effect chain ever omits such links, expect plot holes stumbling amid succession of unrelated events.

Q. What is tension?

A. Tension,  every Technique of Suspense plotting, anticipation, clues and doubt as to the outcome, hence pathos and, leave us face it, discomfort and aversion, may arise even from mystery, onstage sex appeal, the unknown, opportunity and/or threat, conflict many levels with an obstacle, events unfolding or outcome in any way in doubt. Tension is stress, and the innate or conditioned emotional, neurochemical and physiological preparative change or stress response to challenge, stimuli or stressors may be either distress and dread as to threat and emergency or eustress, the euphoric stress of pleasant anticipation, even sexual tension or the demands of pleasant activities in general, creativity, power and opportunity.

Even humor or comic relief depends upon foreplay, tension from an insecurity brought to a resolution or climax called the punch line, that may be either surprising or else even obvious and anticipated, just so long as the tension builds and then crests. Teasing, well meaning or otherwise, also cultivates and builds stress, tension. So does flirtation, but likewise manipulation, rejection or indifference and harassment or threat. Tension, stress, can be either dystress or eustress:

'The Nature of Stress' by Hans Selye

 

After all, life itself is energetic stress within organic matter.

“The only escape from stress is death.”

 

Indeed, actually increasing eustress turns out to be fundamental to so many of our pleasures of a life well lived,, from the anticipatory suspense enjoyed in Creative Tension, drama and comedy, even to the relief experienced from deep tissue massage.

• Damsel in Distress: Techniques of Suspense plotting

Every plotting Technique of building Suspense depends upon pacing, and for greater tension, show don't tell, and never throw the emotional circuit breaker. By every Technique of Suspense plotting, the rising tension and of dramatic conflict signifies that the resolution of whatever the central problem is such as to increasingly press character(s) inevitably to take action in struggle with whoever or whatever the antagonist in some way that must one way or another bring the very values of said character(s) into question for them.

Or, most dramatically, an attempt at howsoever the wiser course may instead press a character into conflict on every level with their own motivating values for which they will be compelled to sacrifice the easier way because the moral course and the more difficult among free willed choices may so often coincide.

Of course, neurochemistry is bound to reflect changing emotion. But there are also clear special cases of the reverse, of emotion instead subordinate to neurochenical fluctuation, as for examples: puberty and menopause. Hence, arguing from sheer stubborn lack of imagination and circuitous reasoning, simply ignoring rather than howsoever investigatively eliminating all that is well known applicably regarding traumatic and environmental causation, springs forth the myth of endogeny, of congenital neurochemically spontaneous anxiety or even Existential depression, among other chronic cognitive or emotional states, together with the Stress Vulnerability Model of Psychiatric Disorders being flawed only in how what is called: biological vulnerability is, again, no determinant on it's own, being, of course, actually universal and even generally uniform in the human condition. Indeed, clearly the determinant is nurture, not nature or: nature via nurture [Matt Ridley]. Obviously, neurologucal heredity, biological evolved behavioral genetic nature, only and fairly consistently enables the Empirical capacities for learning by encoding from the Phenomena, from experience, from nurture, to begin with. Experience is also now understood to trigger epigenetic change in genetic expression. Fraudulent obfuscation and denial to the contrary on either count, are only the current preferred high powered junk science marketing tactic of the Psychopharmacolical industry, pandering to compassion burn out and desperation, "soullessly" mocking and trivializing such cherished illusions as the yearning for understanding and with them all Philosophically meaningful values arising from the deep wellsprings of human emotional needs. Whereas it used to be that when a patient complained of anxiety out of the blue with no trigger, administering the old talking cure, the Therapist would gently ask the patient what they just happened to be thinking of at the time, however supposedly unconnected to whatever mysterious attacks from out of the blue, and guide them past their denial into catharsis and insight. Instead, disregarding the mind still leaves the physical brain, therefore Behaviorism is routinely called into service in standing support of neurochemical Reductionism along with the myth of endogeny, comprising the long refuted blanket rationale for so often reckless Psychopharmacology.

Q. What is creative tension?

Q. What is Sexual tension?

“The only way to resolve a situation with a girl is to jump on her and things will work out.”  — Lee Marvin

Stories and scenes are made memorable not merely in whatever empathy or curiosity merely as to the plot situation, but because of the reader or audience relationship, actual motivated feelings elicited for or even against the characters.

• The Battle of the Sexes

No matter the tone or attitude, atmosphere or ambiance, as evoked by the perfect setting, by Writing from the Senses, SUBTLE AND sensuously, with some reference to sensory perception in every paragraph, describing not only what a character sees, but hears, smells, tastes; the wind on his or her skin, the drone of insects, whatever, for richness of texture the senses remain key to Techniques of Suspense plotting and particularly to building onstage sexual tension and even aversion. Therefore, details of reflection, perception and experience must be chosen to draw out the moment that the reader may in turn be drawn into whatever the ambiance or other qualities of the passage or sequence, whichever point in the narrative.

Inevitably, to show or evoke characterization, wherein motivation should be apparent, even through thoughts, however expository, onstage sex appeal may dramatically motivate conflict on many levels, emerging through subtext, What Lurks Beneath and body language, all shown by way of each of the senses in setting, action and atmospheric tone along with the Subtle and Delicate Art of Doublespeak dialogue, may either harmonize with text, or in true Method subtext, all even disagree with text, subtly, so as to draw attention into a  deeper vein or level of conflict by being subtly wrong , with the obstacles to love promoting sexual tension; love, hate, desire, attraction, increasing the tension and pathos of every Technique of Suspense plotting and anticipation, even discomfort and aversion, character conflict on many levels among the dramatis personae, within society, against fate or simply oneself, building upon levels of inner conflict, stress, desperation, indecision and frustration that must culminated either in resignation, despair, resolve or madness, not to mention Transference and the compelling transport of high fantasy reaching From Werewolf Sex To Bunny Love, not just Writing Love scenes, or if one prefers, Quality Sex  scenes, but everything from the 'rules' for romance writing offering concise guidance for the dramatic plot structure of melodramatic pandering affirming and empowering girl cooties, all as doubtless programmed into the Computerized Romance Writer, to erotic role-play of the sage and sexpert advice of Susie Bright.

• Is It Love...Or Just Wishful Thinking?
• Six Ingredients of a Sensual Romance Novel
• Why Not Write Sensual Romance
• Sexual Tension in Romance Writing
• 10 Tips to Writing Love scenes
• essentials to realize and intensify love scenes
• How much, how soon, how detailed...
• Blood 'n' guts In-yer-face  angst does not equal depth

“sex is everything!” — Sigmund Freud

 “Sex is full of lies. The body tries to tell the truth. But, it's usually too battered with rules to be heard, and bound with pretenses so it can hardly move. We cripple ourselves with lies.”  — Jim Morrison

“Vanity, revenge, loneliness, boredom, all apply: lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity”  — Mignon McLaughlin

“Whatever is done from love always occurs beyond good and evil” — Nietzsche

“Sex is hardly ever just about sex”  — Shirley MacLaine

 

Certainly, all manner of sexual clichés provide more than just the warning against tired prose, but also an insight into universal motivations, key to more than just passionate sex scenes as a writing exercise. Sexual response is both innate and cultivated. Sex elicits affect and entails context. Sex, from furtive eye contact up to the exchange of bodily fluids and every surrounding ritual, is imbued with meaning and values by civilization, personal associations by the individual, and biological imperatives by evolution.  Sex entails all that we are in all that we are. Sex brings out both the best and the ugliest. And thus, for believable characters involved in conflict on different levels and in situations that make any sense and advance the plot, sexual behavior ought to proceed from motivation and situation no less than anything else. 

Sex, as it is so often said, is natural. And that becomes the rationale for pandering, even if in the guise of affirmation and validation, propaganda outright. However, the begged question remains. Indeed, as is often asked, is sex necessary? - And, distinct from just life generally,  in works of culture, specifically...

No, of course not.

After all, there are videos of yarn to fascinate house cats! (For cats, as everybody knows, though some are quite affectionate, can often be of that particularly self sufficient temperament all their own.)

Indeed, any work bowdlerized and eviscerated becomes flaccid and desiccated, as stilted and inhuman as any moving lure for dumb animals. Believable and appealing characters, however "settled", must be motivated and behave and talk according to their relationships and sexroles of whatever milieu appropriate to the setting, even in the most cerebral of stories. 

Even eschewing anything remotely explicit or graphic, the red hot purple passion prose, no matter how tame or "child safe", in capable fiction sexuality of some kind still manifests itself. For the key in writing to any younger audience or any other tender sensibility, is never actually expurgation, but simply toning it down or transposition somehow, but seldom in truly eliminating every trace of sex. 

A story that isn't at all racy may only omit overt sexuality and strong undercurrents, not sexuality at all, which is an aspect of human nature, characterization, relationship and milieu, setting. After all, as the Good Book says, "the child is father to the man".

Certainly, all manner of sexual clichés provide more than just the warning against tired prose, but also an insight into universal motivations, key to more than just passionate sex scenes as a writing exercise.

Sexual response is both innate and cultivated. Sex elicits affect and entails context. Sex, from furtive eye contact up to the exchange of bodily fluids and every surrounding ritual, is imbued with meaning and values by civilization, personal associations by the individual, and biological imperatives by evolution.  After all, suicide bombers are actually just cranky! For even the praising saints and poets yearn to be ravished by God wooing humanity unto Rapture! For is not God's story is also a Romance? And where once they sought to share narcotic communion, one day soon they'll only want to jack into the Net!

 

 

 

Whither Innocence?

As Freud was well aware, nursemaids where long in the practice of quieting colicky male infants into rapt and silent fascination, by stroking their little penises. Indeed, the more repressed these young women found themselves in their own private love lives, the more their work seemed to provide them with a more acceptable outlet. Indeed, it was even observed how the more modestly they comported themselves as young ladies, the more brazenly they where seen to sport with their infant charges. Above is the notorious and disturbing woodcut of the Saint Anne the Grandmother of Christ, fondling and testing the Manhood of the Infant Lord and Savior, bade in  arms of His Immaculate Mother. Obviously, different cultures around the world and throughout history, have developed very different mores, manners, morals, norms and standards. So, what must be deemed loving and nurturing and what needs be be rejected as dangerous and exploitative? Where should the line be drawn in optimal service to both the safety as well as the needs and happiness of the young and vulnerable?

Why, even a real boy like Pinocchio, yearning for his Blue Fairy, may instead become beguiled and exploited by Dracula's daughter or even the pedophile Coyote spirit of traditional Native American cautionary fables! Or, more prosaically, in the course of growing up, any ordinary person might, likewise, simply become drawn, by a crush of any sort, to relate to anyone else more human, imperfect and complicated.

Indeed, at the risk of seeming unduly Freudian, with all those big eyed bashful peek-a-boo, cuddly bump and tickle, what, exactly, is 'Teletubbies' but the most blatant and puerile porno for toddlers?! Brilliant in it's simplicity. Or has some narrative subtlety eluded me, here?

Kidding aside, 'Teletubbies', targeted at the youngest viewing audience ever in the history of television, is age appropriately educationally effective, precisely because preverbal tots do respond. Indeed, the key in writing to any younger audience or any other tender sensibility, is never expurgation but simply toning it down or perhaps sublimation one way or another. 

And the point of truth in jest remains, that the appeal of 'Teletubbies' includes such attention, contact and expression that is only arbitrarily distinguished and divorced from that which may be deemed sexual foreplay, indeed such that Freud might well classify as infant sexuality, and without which babies are well known to actually and literally die from neglect and loneliness.  That is why, necessarily, controversy and ambivalence not withstanding, perception is shaped and boundaries are drawn not only for protection of the innocent, but also to define and allow some range of licit interaction at all throughout life, instead of complete isolation, or so one might hope. Just imagine struggling to explain the human dangers of Pedophilia an alien life form!

Machiavelli recommends in war and statecraft, seeking only weaker allies. But can that advice find similar application in the entire rage of personal relationships? Obviously not. The problem is, that any desirable personal asset one might seek in another, can also be turned against you or to take undue advantage. And this is a particular danger in child rearing because actual equality of knowledge and ability is impossible and not only impractical.  The only question is as to optimal safeguards of the vulnerable.

According to theory, infant sexuality is demarcated from pederasty or pedophilia, in that infant sexuality is recognizable in the intrinsically motivated non-directive initiative in the behavior of children, developmentally crucial and in danger of being undermined by pedophilia as any other manipulative suggestion or corrosion, hence conflict of interests and abuse of trust in fiduciary relationship. -Or so the theory goes... And alas, by that salient standard, our educational system, similarly destructive to autonomy, engages in ongoing molestation, however Platonic, that has engendered in the population, a pandemic of lifelong generalized anxiety disorder, and all for our own good! The problem isn't with sex but with love, with coercion manipulatively rationalized and trust continually imposed upon, of intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation as ever, and the corruption that frequently attends upon power relations at all. Though all such gambits and conceits must be embraced more poetically than scientifically, attempt has even been undertaken to quantify tradeoff between freedom and security, Thermodynamically!

It is even declared by bio-science that the comfort sought by a perfectly normal child curling up in the embrace of an adult care giver, if monitored and recorded with whatever sort of biosensors, might often physiologically qualify as sexual, even if the very thought scarcely occurs in the innocent mind of the child, never emerging into consciousness. All that the latter signifies, however, is that the boundary between what is benign and what is dangerous to children, between what Freud calls: infant sexuality and pedophile exploitation, will likely never be quantifiable merely physiologically.

Indeed, the lines have been drawn so completely differently by different cultures throughout history. Neurosis begins as those wishes of a sexual nature are shamefully repressed in childhood,  from socialization in guilt ridden suppression of infant sexuality. Therefore, can it seriously be suggested or argued that incest and Pedophilia are traumatic only because of taboo? Indeed, is such a disturbing hypothesis readily amenable to investigation, save by decidedly unethical experiment? And what notions could ever be so boundlessly handier for fictional exploration, Science Fiction thought experiment and general all around shock value!

One even shopworn narrative cliché is of recovered childhood memory of a pedophile encounter, benign and even nurturing because of being completely non-directive and entirely at the initiative of drives of infant sexuality on the part of the child, rather than coercion, manipulation or naive trust in fiduciary guidance from the adult involved. Then the memory is allowed to recede into the child's unconscious so that the child can return to sexual latency and normal development. There is such a scene in the works of Robert Heinlein, but of course the trope long predates the literary master of pandering. Indeed, it all seems something perhaps of a somewhat strained variant of the single never to be repeated tryst in the wilderness of Tristram and Isolde, then put aside forever upon return to society replete with socialized roles and expectations in the court of King Mark. But any such true to life claim may readily be dismissed as deep seated denial, and just such credulous revulsion in turn likewise dismissed as bigotry and limited imagination. Similarly, much as peyote usage is supposed to be rendered non addictive amid the extensive rites and guidance of the vision quest, indeed serving even all manner of beneficial Psychotherapy even including recovery from drug addiction, there is also the romanticized notion from Cultural Anthropology of very young sexual initiation, safely enshrouded in meticulous ceremony and ritual providing behavioral structure ruling out not only doubt and distraction, but mixed signals to engender inner conflict. And in Science Fiction at its most pandering propagandistic, every taboo imaginable has been flouted in both glowing Utopias and in horrific cautionary Dystopias.

Does precisely all such blatant shopworn mythology then remain the vexing pinnacle of human self knowledge? What dangerous ignorance! Or Am I the only one in the dark? Even in optimistic stretch of theoretical imagination, and speaking of unethical experiment, given human frailty and inherent fiduciary conflict of interests, any stringent laboratory conditions of benign pedophilia would be no less stringently contrived than any tropic fiction. At least transition in public consciousness, from a tabooistic and traumatic rules-based socialization of children by those who know best, to sincere investigation into and respect for the sanctity of their own sensibility of comfort, does seem like genuine progress. Now if only that same principle can be applied to the ongoing Platonic molestation of what passes for our educational system.

May to December

“You're only as old as the woman you feel.”  — Groucho Marx

 

 

Indeed, the all to familiar foibles of May / December romance make for common, ordinary, tawdry and endless sitcom fodder, often in conjunction with the banalities of midlife crisis. Neither drama, trauma nor stigma of taboo end entirely with boundaries explicitly demarcated by law. Nevertheless, for all the protestation and shock of eternal moralistic vigilance, in truth sexual fascinations between younger and older is really nothing new, but perhaps the most universal and plan vanilla of kinks, if even to call is so. And among the perhaps less unflattering formulaic rationalizations thereof, are the quest for any sort of parent figure reciprocated by any nurturing instinct. Or perhaps transgression of the generation gap transcends Eternity! But the truth may be at all less magical, sexuality and  age difference merely presenting additional complication:

One way or another, anyone drawn close to one another howsoever despite having no apparent business being together by every social norm, might well be strongly motivated, one way or another to merit meaningful study in human nature well beyond the empty and simplistic pandering of Moralism. After all, we are stronger for our differences: In the normal course of life and individual expanding connection into the world at large, there may often be illuminating value for a older person in any kind of individual personal relationship with any younger person less estranged than the younger persons integrated into dysfunctional family and formal institutional circles. Likewise, there may often be illuminating value for a younger person in any kind of individual personal relationship with any older person different and more supportive than the older people they are routinely exposed to in family circles and formal institutions. Segregation and ingrained hostility, discomfort with older people who know more than you and/or younger people perhaps more familiar with any new ideas, all except under authority and hierarchical structure, is an inherently conservative social apparatus for muting collective and individual awareness of ongoing change. Can it be that the actual taboo is specifically in deterrence of collusion deemed threatening to the uniform social propaganda of pervasive heteronomy?  Divide and conquer: If you're not suppose to talk to me, then what am I not supposed to tell you?

 

For if there is ever a more grave and dramatically redolent social transgression between individuals than simmering onstage Sex in the Story, it's simple respect which may constitute indeed the most taboo experience or exchange- And between generations, even more so! Thence, any proficient writer of throbbing tawdry Romance will immediately understand the unexpected intensification of exactly such recognition of compatibility parameters in an explosive May/December encounter in the exchange of seasoned sagacity for youthful vigor. And don't smirk, I know you love it.

Sociometric profiling, matching and the subtitles of mutual admiration: reciprocal role-modeling: To begin with, people all need not only to share anything in common, but need to look up to for any more advanced personal assets or qualities of character, situation and perspective or POV. Indeed, compatibility is well understood to depend upon crucial similarities and differences, too. Indeed, people are well understood to be drawn to others to whom they identify because they share one quality of value to them, and whom they can also look up to because of another shared quality or growth potential in which the other howsoever exceeds them. If the other reciprocates likewise seeing some shared valued quality and also some superior aspect to look up to in the other, then they may connect. Indeed, there are no end of combinatory variations, optimization however becoming statistically the more frustrating, the greater or more unique intelligence, talent and disposition, especially for the gifted so often known for propensity towards such markedly uneven asynchronous development, beyond their age group in seriousness and intimacy needs and concepts of friendship, perhaps even while falling behind in other capacities and characteristics, perhaps even social aptitude in particular. And also, there will always be individuals whom as they advance in years yet remaining at all vital, may be disappointed to find their own age group peers increasingly stodgy, antisocial, unapproachable or insular, even as often married and in retreat from old friends much less cultivating new relationships or any kind in order not to retreat from society.  

 

Hence all manner of relationships between younger and older gifted peers may be not only inevitable but actually ever more crucial in a population increasingly consisting of the neglected and abused gifted and atypical or: twice exceptional, gifted yet with learning disabilities, indeed, ongoing products of lifelong asynchronous development, perhaps, for example, even emotionally advanced in relationship needs, yet falling behind and awkward socially and also perhaps somewhat indifferent to arbitrary seeming social norms. Though advancing technology is ever in the habit of eventual overthrow of biological destiny, nevertheless for the time being, even the twice exceptional must eventually come into puberty and then age along with everyone else. Indeed, Platonically to begin with, let alone anything more, the widespread mediocrity of generation gap has arisen a norm specifically of post industrial society, yet necessarily predicated upon typical and uniform synchronous development. (Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.) 

 

        “The teenager seems to have replaced the Communist as the appropriate target for public controversy and foreboding.”  — Edgar Friedenberg, The Vanishing Adolescent

 

                                                                                                                                                                   So imagine boldly chalking out on the blackboard:

 Premise: All (Heterosexual?) even potentially non Platonic intergenerational fraternization is (intrinsically?) bad, shameful, improper, untoward.

 Corollary:  Nothing good, no functional legitimate beneficial need or desire is ever thereby served. (THEY can never love as WE do.)                  

 Conclusion: Even appearance, impression or very thought of such as above must be prevented or curtailed by any unquestioned means necessary.  

Now, who in their right minds can actually be so gullible as to foment such mindless taboo and endorse any so simplistic and half-baked a mandate of social intervention?  Consistency would only be melodramatically typical of Manichean culture-war, and inconsistency hypocritical, even often howsoever typical and ubiquitous self-serving and exploitative cockblocking, as ever, the metaphorical foxes set to guard the proverbial henhouse. 

No less so even in real life: two dimensional and poorly motivated Fanaticism is the persistent adherence to flawed Moralism even in the face of whatever mounting Reductio Ad Absurdum and escalating calamity.

 

In character growth, the more normal it is to feel different, the less all-important it becomes to meet the expectations of others. Persecuted unorthodox relationships become all the more threatening, the more ordinary they actually turn out to be. And nowhere does this apply more than with intergenerational fraternization, the attraction being so pervasive, highly charged and as can be seen in time honored yet ever topical dramatic theme, ever naughty yet relatable for anyone. Hence, nowhere are the pretences of Moralism more obviously hypocritical and unserious. We are only appalled at someone else's predilections! In the face of all real harm or hazard, again, far from pro-social, cockblocking remains as one-dimensionally cardboard and villainous, dangerously counterproductive and exploitative as ever, if not more so.

 

The lesson to real life and policy offered from drama (or with the stakes lowered, Comedy of Manners) is that resolution comes in the discovery and fulfillment of needs, aside, additionally, from action-adventure in discovery and averting of danger, as applicable.

 

Whereas: while in propaganda and advertising, the audience is blatantly told what are their needs and the dangers and prompted what to feel, "In a good play, everyone is right."  In dramatizing controversy, good motivated and dramatic dialogue makes it hard to tell who is right and who is wrong. Capable drama with dimension and substance, whether as merely imagined in in fiction or actually agitated by political activism and intervention into social evolution, needs must strive for more socially responsible thematic exploration and delicacy towards vulnerability than via pandering to dishonest  propaganda manipulation, hate and fear mongering, seeking instead for believable complication motivated from conflicting priorities out of controversy over genuinely interesting problems and issues, no matter how taboo.

 

 

• A Continuum Model of Participants and Experiences & Negotiating Stigma

• Deltans, Polynesians and Bonobos, oh my! •

	Trusting and naive ingénue or conniving coquette?

 

     

Progress free from dramatic obstacle is sheer wish fulfillment!

“When authorities warn you of the [dangers] sinfulness of [having] sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.”

 — Matt Groening, 'Life In Hell' citation from 'Basic Sex Facts For Today's [Youngsters] Young Folk'.

 

Provocative dress, expression and conduct, sheer licentious vulgarity, is a fundamental right:

When individuals are isolated, intimidated and fear to simply reach out to one another in attraction and for gratification, we will only be exploited by those better connected.

 

In order to reduce needless  true to life drama, maintain high standards: Don't ignore gut instinct.  "Put more trust in nobility of character than in an oath." [Solon.] Do not fall prey to wishful denial or overestimate capacity for change. Be honest and ask for what you want. Do they volunteer full verifiable contact and background information, or are they simply too cagey? Never struggle for the approval of the puritanical judgmentally self-serving controlling and exploitative moralistic hypocrites. Listen to what people volunteer about themselves. They may beat about the bush inexplicitly, or else then again, often they might even be entirely candid. Listen and attend thereupon. Observe also, how they treat others and mind the company that they keep.

Pandering if not as literally to act as a go-between or liaison in sexual intrigues or function as a procurer, denotes similarly even however vicariously to cater to the lower tastes and desires and wish fulfillment fantasies of others or most specifically, thereby to exploit their weaknesses, as even by the most obsequious flattery in the guise of affirmation, validation, and even thereby exploitatively winning unearned trust by ploys of however manipulative and dishonest  propaganda manipulation outright. 

Such emotional appeals or motivation, to the heart, passions, sympathies, gut feelings or even the lowest common denominators of self serving rationalization to malice, jealous rage, outright devilry of thinly disguised hate speech and self loathing. Quintessentially, the transparent lies of the Faux News deceive no one, rather they pander irrationally. Blatant hate and fear mongering propaganda panders to any lowest common denominator of basest instinct, also include loaded or slanted emotional appeal employing language that is calculated to get a particular reaction from readers. Pandering and hence the repertoire of propaganda, also includes out and out sob stories and soppy sentimental tearjerkers, even to be rated by the number of hankies needed! manipulating readers' emotions in order to lead them to draw however unwarranted or poorly supported and even well refutable conclusions.

The three motivating principle cofactors in effective manipulation also applicable in pandering, propagandistically or otherwise, are whatever the incentive and disincentive vulnerabilities of the target or targets, the tactics of the manipulator(s), and time for the relationship to develop under whatever conditions, free or captive.

The phenomenon of manipulation is best defined as undue advantage from trickery via the exploitation of affective innate and conditioned triggers or "push buttons" to undermine and overwhelm, even barrage, resistance, caution, better judgment and autonomy of the target, via insidiously motivating subtext of emotional positive incentive and negative disincentive. –As distinct from open coercion alone or substantive disinformation, lies. Typically, the manipulator obfuscates the nature of their coercion exercised, along with whatever self-serving advantage thereof, whatever their own ultimate motivation.

Positive incentive manipulation or pandering is such as deviously appeals to value in fantasy and desire, love, sex greed, promoting false hope of whatever gain, in order to circumvent or overwhelm resistance, caution, better judgment and autonomy of the target. Whereas an example of negative disincentive manipulation, such insult as condescension that after all comes of love can be less painful than insult that comes without it, or more so, or equally so, as the case may be: but be that as it may, it is, in any case significantly more harmful. This is because insult provokes anger and hostility, but hostility towards people who even sincerely profess to love you and act on your own best interest is curbed and turned inwards, internalized, and experienced on the level of inner conflict of self-hostility, namely guilt. Such deceptive appeals undermining the target’s credulity and defenses even whilst actually exercising coercion constitute often likewise internalized flagrantly manipulative behavior, conscious or unconscious, selfish, indifferent or just desperate.

Though certainly, there are, always, of course, if not drama per se, then other whatever loftier social or entirely artistic aims in any subject matter, delicate or indelicate, then again, for writers no less than their characters, pandering and personal disclosure alike often present such blocks and barriers of inhibition to overcome as self-consciousness or even sheer anhedonic Moralism and squeamishness outright.

Stories are made memorable not merely in whatever empathy or curiosity merely as to the plot situation, but because of the reader or audience relationship, actual motivated feelings elicited for or even against the characters. And any motivation may do!

Yes, leave us face it, sex appeal may simply pander to sensationalism and/or flights of fantasy, escapism and wish fulfillment for the reader's guilty vicarious pleasure. After all, as the old saying goes, sex sells! Blatant or subtle. Certainly, the erotic is a value, indeed, an  aesthetic category.

"genres that are most popular tend to offer magical resolutions to irreconcilable social problems and tensions."

 

-The utopian fantasy of Deep Throat  

But, please GHOD not just the belabored bludgeoning obsessions of the writer! Only tiresome zealots need to be pandered to and stoked upon every single point of dogmatic ideology. Of course, the most truly destructive is manipulative dishonest propaganda pandering to hypocritisy. But if POV will not be thoughtful and literate, then, at least let us have good trash, pandering if we must, self indulgence of the reader, not the writer, grabbing the readers, not beating them over the head. Remember to evoke the senses, show don't tell action that actually advances the plot. And building the tension of every Technique of Suspense plotting, even in vicarious pandering, depends upon pacing.

Because, to follow another old saying, capable writing still reveals something about human nature. Even sheer vicarious pandering in it's appeal to the universal fantasies of the audience. While bad self indulgent obsessive writing reveals far too much about the author. Particularly when it comes to such awkward self indulgence that only displays whatever especially obsessive proverbial "axe to grind", personal preoccupation, attachment or morbid fixation, prurient or otherwise, to the exclusion of all else.

Prolong the Agony by making life difficult so as to motivate characters. Don't be nice to your character! No Powderpuff Pitty-Pat! Even pander to vicarious wish fulfillment, but also inspire pathos, anticipation, every Technique of Suspense plotting even dread and even the discomfort of sheer aversion. Stir any range of emotions and force the reader to empathize, to feel. That's what makes for good entertainment, a real page turner.

And so, leave us never forget error checking, but learn a lesson in writing about sex, from the euphemistically symbolic to the clinically explicit, even the descriptive vocabulary and naming of body parts! from the past winners of The Literary Review's Bad Sex Award bestowed upon the most pretentious, tasteless, embarrassing, otiose, self-infatuated or redundant description of the sexual act published during the past year.

nevertheless, perhaps the most debilitating of all fetish to fiction writing remains the overwhelming and unthinking compulsion to censor or to Bowdlerize. Again, of necessity, the key in writing "child safe" to any younger audience or to any other tender sensibility, is never true and utter expurgation, but simply in toning down anything even remotely explicit, skirting the central question by mere tender suggestion, leaving characterization, motivation and drama intact.

‘Anyone who attempts to render sexual experience directly must face the fact that the writings which comprise it are ludicrous without their subjective content.’ [If not somewhat clinical, or perhaps, then again: Tantric ]

 

-Elizabeth Benedict, Joy of Writing Sex

The surreally kinky fairytale of Stockholm Syndrome

Moralism is Justificationist and motivated from the Transactional inner controlling parent and/or compliantly decidophobic inner adaptive child, demanding impossible and unnecessary justification in objective grounds for ethics, often in moral heteronomy to God , thereby rejecting as imperfect, all conjecture, evidence and refutation from criticality available only to the Transactional adult ego state. Masochism and heteronymous submission come in reaction formation in order for the neurotic individual to function and seek gratification at all, even while coping with overwhelming and paralytic feelings of guilt. Reciprocally, moralistic voyeurism panders to, relishes and delights in even while burning with envy towards, all that it so Sadistically and judgmentally condemns.  Moralism hypocritically panders to and whitewashes unsympathetic fetish objectification in voyeuristic titillation and Sadistically delicious overture to self righteous self serving and envy, thus  providing alibi and denial along with impunity in appeal to evil, mobbing, shunning,  bullying, ostracism, repression both in the individual psyche and in society, the glorification of controlling judgmental sex negative jealousy actingout,  as somehow or other actually pro-social and benevolent. But of course, all such revolting pretence aside, hypocritical  cockblockers are monumentally self serving, not philanthropic at all!

Indeed, various manipulative and destructive cliques, particularly obscurantist cults and scams, exploit Stockholm Syndrome (prevalent in varying degrees) to draw in the mark in vein hope that things will begin to make more sense as the mystery unfolds. Alas, real life happy endings are never guaranteed in the face of passivity and love conquers nothing without backbone and the courage for individual growth.

Alas, there are always those so tragically hardcore and deeply disturbed, genuinely masochistic and anhedonic, that only real danger and self destruction remain enticing, acceptable and licit.

• Satanism and Sadomasochistic edge-play

All all others more fortunate, need never let reality spoil a good fantasy! Few would actually conclude that if war movies are good, then actual combat experience must be even better! Thankfully, just as roller coasters and other popular "barf-rides" harmlessly simulate the thrill of a nearly averted vehicular disaster, classic fairytale ravishment, bondage and captivity fantasies and erotic role-play can safely liberate into fantasy and teasing sexual foreplay all the classic drama or shameless melodrama, as the case may be, forbidden thrill and every other Technique of Suspense plotting, desperate approval seeking, of hope toyed with, of the captive struggling seductively to win whatever small kindness of the threatening captor or attacker and survive, and all manner of desperate desire to be expressed, received and fulfilled in an all to blatant and obvious paradoxical intention of "Reverse Psychology."

• Eustress and distress

   said Briar Rabbit...

(Oh, don't tease me, please me!)

Indeed, the kinky fairytale of Stockholm Syndrome, by adamant denial unfettered beyond the burdensome restraints logical contradictions in hard reality, all of the unflagging faith, goodness empathy and connection of the innocent and unrecognized virtuous victimized princess soiled dove, can in the flights of fantasy of impromptu Psychodrama, finally and truly be vindicated by finally at long last redeeming their own unflagging faith in the biggest jerk, most hopeless confirmed loser or even the very worst villain, abuser or bully! I knew there was good in you, Daddy...

            Well, spank me!

So much better than the real thing, baby!

 

Kinky fairytale ravishment, bondage and captivity fantasies of erotic role-play & surreal psychodrama provide safe escapist outlet, ardent and docile submission free from the anxiety that comes with volition, responsibility and guilty longing to express desire and likewise to be desired desperately. As ever, what heightens drama imaginatively, increases suffering in real life. Specifically, hot and sticky rape fantasies are to the ugly reality, as garish carnival barfrides are to the actual car accidents they simulate.

Bitch in heat seeks partner in crime

For indeed, whereas, of course, true life captivity and domination typically feature only cavalier indifferent neglect, manipulative abuse and exploitation, the resentment and dependency of Stockholm Syndrome (prevalent in varying degrees) even of the fairest damsel in distress ever "protected,"  inspires in poignant denial and rationalization all the appealing passionate fantasies of desperate desire, romantic, kinky or even mystical, indeed partaking of even melodramatic fairytale surrealism, hallucinatory Stockholm Syndrome doublethink in sheer unconcern for reality to the extent of such tremendous gaps in plot logic and believable character motivation, all even just for ribald laughs and camp comedic parody.

Here, then, is offered a Science Fiction speculation as a writer's prompt:

Dramatic stories are not usually of happy experiences. Indeed, if the ugly, clumsy and brutal reality of rape even remotely resembled hot transport of mythological fairytale ravishment fantasy, then rape would not merely have to be legal but mandatory!

But what may actually yet be feasible is the nigh alchemic transformation of dysfunctional codependent trailer trash bickering into leather clad stylish hot vampire monkey sex! Again, all that it takes is the recognition of the surreal and an appreciation of the absurd. I know you want to!

Alas, women are all too often encouraged to take men and sexual opportunity for granted, and, no less prudishly intolerant than men, even to fear, revile and despise what comes to them too eager and easily, and in thrall to Stockholm Syndrome, to dread the forbidden fruit and wait patiently and even in some sort of erotic suspense for approval or permission that will never be forthcoming. Thus indecisive and unfulfilled, they think they keep their options open while squandering all. Clearly the kinky fantasy is eminently more fulfilling than the true life dysfunctional banality! But then, after all, beyond sheer pandering alone, good dramatic stories are seldom happy.

• Blood 'n' guts In-yer-face  angst does not equal depth
• Satanism and sex magic

The Sweetheart Scammer

• Hell Workshop
• Wikipedia: Sex in Science Fiction

• evolutionary sexuality at Space and Motion

• Differences sex writing for men and women
• How to Approach Sexual Writings  
• Erotica Factor

In particular, the allegedly miraculous only obscures rather than better explaining morality, indeed often inspiring stigma of Moralism wherein morality in the abstract may become lost in wandering because of focus entirely upon purity of ostensibly motivating intention, losing sight of concrete responsibility of autonomy regarding reasonably foreseeable consequences together with moderation and fairness of accountability in the real world, that rightfully ought to be the focus of outwardly directed compassion and compunction. Such is another example of paralytic demands for impossible and unnecessary perfection typical of irresponsible, unaccountable and decidophobic heteronomy. Actually, it was the nigh saintly Born Again Christian President Jimmy Carter who declared: "You can't legislate morality." Indeed Alexis de Tocqueville cites "more vices and fewer crimes" as among the hallmarks of democracy. Otherwise, Machiavelli counseled his Prince that a competent criminal makes for a better ruler than the inept clueless high-minded Moralists, too pious for any worldly good, that where in charge in his day. -And even then that such an iron fisted ruler reluctantly proffered thereto, must eventually adapt to change or be deposed and replaced.

The only Atheists who deny Evolution are the Communists. For no matter how creatively Capitalism ever mutates for the better, the Communists like all Utopists remain scornful of progress in very principle. In truth, they simply disapprove of greed.

In Communism no less than in religion or Zen, it is Moralistic to locate the problem with desire to begin with. Hence Religion strives to redirect worldly desire into yearning for God, Zen to crush the spirit ego, and Communism to bring about the purely altruistic new Soviet Man. Morality may serve as a motivation of individual restraint in curbing amoral harmful action, whereas Moralism seeks to govern by principles and expectations of the highest morality on the part of each citizen, and indeed by the annihilation and reconditioning of of guilty impulses thereby however only to engender guilt and inner conflict. Indeed, in the words of H. G. Wells: “Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.” Alas however, Moralsm remains a doomed enterprise for under any conceivable social order or economic system because just as in nature, so long as there is any advantage to be gained in dishonest unfair play, a certain percentage of the population will. And it is difficult enough at all to curtail the worst abuse of the worst offenders and tending to whatever damage control and harm reduction or sensibly dealing with cultural and economic circumstances of social ills and malfeasance, all even without deranged wasteful and destructively unrealistic Moralistic social programs of ever simply bullying the entire population wholesale into perfect selfless little angels.

Masochism and heteronymous submission then come in reaction formation in order for the neurotic individual to function and seek gratification at all, even while coping with overwhelming and paralytic feelings of guilt. Reciprocally, Moralistic voyeurism hypocritically panders to, relishes and delights in even while burning with envy towards, all that it so Sadistically and judgmentally condemns.  Moralism hypocritically panders to and whitewashes unsympathetic fetish objectification in voyeuristic titillation and Sadistically delicious overture to self righteous self serving and envy, thus  providing alibi and denial along with impunity in appeal to evil, mobbing, shunning,  bullying, ostracism, repression both in the individual psyche and in society, the glorification of controlling judgmental sex negative jealousy actingout,  as somehow or other actually pro-social and benevolent. But of course, all such revolting pretence aside, hypocritical cockblockers are monumentally self serving, not philanthropic at all! Nor as we shall see, has the Moralism as has continued to subvert public policy of sexual health, well served the public interest.

Perhaps worst among pipedreaming malagenas are Moralism and Utopism being the doctrine that responsibility is impossible save in the lights of perfect (or justified) knowledge of whatever ultimate truth and/or towards whatever ultimate good (to which of course, the ends ever justify the means), responsibility is impossible. Thus by promising the impossible and the unnecessary, do high-minded scoundrels ever evade even the most minimum and ordinary of obligations and pedestrian expectations of minimal responsibility to which private citizens, service providers and public officials are held accountable under democratic civility and the rule of law. -By entirely removing responsibility from foreseeable consequence, into a realm of perfect and pure abstraction. Such mad and dangerous Utopist thinking remains entirely distinct from what is simply Utopian merely in terms of even laudably embracing high ideals or altruistic ambitions entirely without the madness of Utopist ideology.  Moralism has outlived it's origins in religion, surviving often as an heteronymous decidophobic feature of Utopism as, for example, in Communism.

 

And Moralists, religious or otherwise, are often irresponsible in blithe and stubborn disregard of well foreseeable consequences, in utter denial of the manifest superiority of Empirical case based reasoning over blind and dogged rules based decision making. Prudish admonitions, dire prohibitions and coercive legislative so-called war on vice have all never failed only to consistently make things by far the worse! Indeed, as in the Environmental mainstream, the appeal of virtue is often misleading away from any true hope of the most noble and crucial of desired results. Indeed, self abnegation is meant to free the spirit for loftier occupation of the mind, but more often engenders simmering obsessive bitter judgmental envy of those less inhibited.  And Moralistic envy only rationalizes and panders to spite and voyeuristic fascination. But the Moralist ever persists in futile destructive and self destructive Behavior Modification from puffed up  pure intentions, ignoring catastrophic results. More to the case in point, sex negative celibate Moralists strive to abstain from sex, rejecting contraceptive and prophylactic preparedness as the occasioning of sin, let alone responsible remedy for consequences thereafter. By the twisted Moralism of the Pro-Lifers against abortion, one might likewise argue that to take responsibility for the weakness of eating sweets, one must refuse dental treatment of cavities! And the statistically consistent eventual result of Moralistic striving for abstinence, is the very most impulsive and ill considered unplanned and unprotected sex. Then guilty helplessness thereafter in dealing with even the emotional results. And while true spontaneity is certainly wonderful, desperately peer pressured inane fake fun and the ironically awkward and uncomfortable so called casual sexuality of chronic willfully oblivious disassociated states, with or without chemical assistance, only become crucial in the mitigation of ever mounting and intolerable shame and guilt. The Moralist can then either excuse themselves on the claim of good intentions after all, or repent miserably of moral wickedness and weakness. And then the Moralist can only redouble their statistically futile and always distressfully guilt ridden and often vengeful struggles with inner conflict. But instead to confront their hypocritical irresponsibility in the face of foreseeable consequences would be at long last to transcend Moralism and Utopism, worst among pipedreaming malagenas, being the doctrine that responsibility is impossible save in the lights of perfect (or justified) knowledge of whatever ultimate truth and/or towards whatever ultimate good (to which of course, the ends ever justify the means), responsibility is impossible. Thus by promising the impossible and the unnecessary, do high-minded scoundrels ever evade even the most minimum and ordinary of obligations and pedestrian expectations of minimal responsibility to which private citizens, service providers and public officials are held accountable under democratic civility and the rule of law.  -By entirely removing responsibility from foreseeable consequence, into a realm of perfect and pure abstraction. Such mad and dangerous Utopist thinking remains entirely distinct from what is simply Utopian merely in terms of even laudably embracing high ideals or altruistic ambitions entirely without the madness of Utopist ideology.  

• TRIZ to the subversive rescue of  Utopism?

• dishonesty and The Lifecycle of Social Systems

And in the end, statistically, the ever virtuous slut-shaming Moralism of consistent proper usage of condoms, a frustrating and purpose defeating technology, and yes: for women too and not only for men, is little different from that of abstinence outright. Compassion and reason demand abandonment of manipulative propaganda and Behavior Modification, instead, indeed the very farthest from suborning or condoning heedlessly unprepared unsafe behavior, actually engaging with the public from reciprocal Transactional inner adulthood and respect for intelligence and autonomy in the responsible dissemination of substantive information however taboo, of the various tradeoffs entailed with the entire range of safer sex strategies, meanwhile striving ever to discover and implement ever more effective but also reliably convenient and unobtrusive technologies to the market as quickly as safe and possible.

Sweet reason often amounts to sheer Ecclesiastical futility, especially when sweet reason is actually nothing of the sort, but only the coercive and traumatizing manipulative sex-negative shame. Politically correct lip service aside, any range of boneheaded risky behavior simply driven underground, has often only become the more dangerous. The statistics for condom usage remain poor. Anecdotally, crypto-moralistically guilt tripping people into sexually frustrating condom usage, has largely resulted in worsening unprepared risky behavior, specifically: bareback natural sex, and all too often increasingly drunk or stoned and hence the more immune impaired, but nevertheless, even if and when stone cold sober, no less at the naturally eventual and inevitable threshold of temptation and frustration. -Or even effective abandonment of precaution at all entirely! Such results are consistently foreseeable, observable and true. Placing blame only makes things worse, and then denial of precisely such Moralism compounds the harm even further still:

 

The most unsafe behavior of all is shame and the tacit slut-shaming of others into irresponsible silence.

Behavior Modification remains degrading dire failure in very principle, an ongoing malpractice in heedless abrogation of the core medical ethic of Psychotherapy, being the injunction against suggestion. Therefore, better by far, to abandon propaganda, instead remaining open and consistent from the get go, than to continually tempt backsliding and fate later on. Indeed, this entire simple truth of human nature, though no secret, being both entirely natural and completely normal, is nevertheless quite taboo. The inevitable problem of such flagrantly purpose defeating technology is simply written off as "human failure." -Because, after all, condoms are perfect and infallible, completely reliable, when used correctly. Which to say: under laboratory conditions, and preferably by androids!  Likewise, in the blithe irony of Rush Limbaugh: "Abstinence prevents sexually transmitted disease and pregnancy - every time it's tried." Indeed, does not the very expression: "human failure" that sounds so bland and technical, likewise squarely place blame and pass judgment on the individual? How Orwellian anti-sex! Instead of "human failure." why not be more honest and simply call it: customer dissatisfaction? Because, with AIDS awareness so-called, in contie9nuation from the similarly misanthropic and patronizing irresponsible Moralism of the incarceration that passes for education, the customer is always wrong! For rather than engaging the interests of students, consequent boredom and distress is  deemed a character flaw of indolence then subject to unrelenting coercion and manipulation. Indeed, and likewise, hope for no escape any time afterwards in the fabled embrace of Morpheus: CPAP now does for sleep what condoms do for sex. Indeed, I must confess my entire failure at all to relate to erotic fixations with respirators and the like.  But I digress.

• Study concluding that condomless sex is better for mental health: weathers under evident reciprocal political bias and allegedly vague Methodology