'The Enterprise Incidence'
is an open unfinished collaborative fanfic brainstorm
story challenge for
'Star Trek: The Ship of Fools'
to help revise and improve...
We follow a woman, face shadowed and
obscured by the hood of her cloak, through the dark and squalid back alleyways until she descends
into a crowded and cramped basement chamber.
INT COMMON ROOM
We find ourselves in a sparsely furnished common room, where a group of Romulan children
are seated on the
floor looking up at a tall, hooded man standing over them with his
back to the camera. The man is clearly lecturing them as he activates an ancient
cloaking device on a work bench in a make shift classroom Science lab.
The woman stealthily creeps into invisibility field of the old cloaking
device just as is is activated.
We have entered in in mid-lesson, and the teacher's voice is
...Tasrayl could not accept that, and he told Surak so. And from there,
their argument began. They debated back and forth for three days without
stopping, scarcely eating and never sleeping. And as they argued, their
followers came to hark upon the words of their masters, and by the third
day, almost the entire city population was in attendance...
The teacher pauses for a moment and one of the children pipes up
But what was the point, sir? In the end, all questions of photons and space-time
curvature are conclusively settled
But for Tasrayl the prospects of cloaking and decloaking
where only a metaphor for his greater
Epistemological conundrums which offer insight into
his life long quest for
values of honor and integrity as he expounds in his famous debate with Surak. And all only beginning from Scientific exploration of the here and
now passing into "elsewhen," of the boundaries between
the seen and the unseen.
We see the hooded figure as he turns. It is SPOCK!
Scrutiny of that which is revealed to the mind by Logic, and
acknowledgement of our inherent fallibility, and of unknown truth or even the
obvious which eludes even the best of us. Indeed, fundamental
systems, even ancient Romantic
notions of intuition and what the heart knows even in the uncompromising light
of Surak's ground breaking observations of the mental complexes by which
emotion deceives and misguides the unwary. You see, all more far ranging by
any means, than
those Pragmatic simple minded predigested historical capsule summaries foisted
upon bright, eager and duty bound functionary technicians and soldiers in
training, invariably and slyly discouraged from pondering too deeply.
Spock deactivates the cloaking device the woman appears. Their eyes meet.
- Spock beholds the ROMULAN
- But we shall pursue the matter in
greater depth another time. Class dismissed.
- (beat; softly)
- I was resigned that I would never see you again.
- ROMULAN COMMANDER
How long? Can it really have been a hundred and twenty years?
- One hundred twenty two point five three. I had searched for you on
Romulus, but without success.
- Counting the hours, Spock? For me? But I have long retired from public
- And all over my theft from your vessel of a cloaking device much like
the one here before us.
- Now no more than so much antiquated reliquary, salvage fit only for a
children's Science lecture demonstration. Although you express such fine
ideas out of it. Tell me, Spock, where you thinking of us?
- 'The Enterprise Incidence' follows from the teaser, herein reworked, for
Trek: Dauntless' since revised as
Trek: Shadow Wars' by James DiBenedetto, initially promising,
with a tantalizing opening, and then greatly disappointing, a cheat,
bait and switch, because no sooner does she open her mouth than it's another generic big
threat to the Galaxy, with no deeper
as cardboard as violence is mindless, gratuitous, pointless and thudding dull
as a concussion grenade, and all no less subtle.
- And so, it played upon my
dissatisfaction, then where is
the heart of the real story to be ferreted out? The temptation was to tie it
in as a prequel to my own great epic concept, 'Star Trek: The Ship of Fools'.
However I dreaded committing the same offence to fiction all over again, by
likewise killing the entire story with irrelevant overblown formula.
- But then I realized what direction to take.
Understand and follow the
character. Why is she really here? And what will she do? And so
the story came to me:
- With Spock on Romulus, the Romulan Commander's long ago disgrace, Spock's
theft of the cloaking device, as detailed in 'The
Enterprise Incident', has come back to haunt them both with a
- With Ambassador Spock at large among the Romulan dissidents,
that's the last straw, the Romulan Commander's irredeemable disgrace is no longer endurable to her
superiors, and she must commit suicide. And honor prevents her from hiding or
running away, as she knows full well that her family would be penalized
- But there is one thing that she knows
that she can do to appease her superiors. She has surfaced from obscurity to
turn the tables on Spock by gaining his trust and stealing a secret from him,
this time. But the secret Spock caries isn't actually considered all that
important, except by Spock himself. And so, she knows full well that she will
not long forestall the pressure upon her to finally take responsibility
by committing suicide, but,
indeed, only earn the contempt of her superiors as a desperate old whore.
- But actually, espionage is
but a pretext by which to rationalize logistical support from the handful of
steadfast friends she retains within the Romulan military, and only an excuse to relive old
times with Spock, at long last, her strategy to see him again one last time
while withholding the truth of her situation, that it's shadow need not not
bitter whatever joy and nostalgia to be found in their reunion and whatever
peace she can make with herself before the end.
- So what is Spock's secret, the
central MacGuffin of the story? Why, of course, the
revelations of the Kelvan Question, as detailed in the six part
mini series of 'Star
Trek: The Ship of Fools'. And so, the disgraced Romulan Commander ends
up actually pushing Spock to go and confront a matter of honor that has come
back to haunt him, there by motivating Spock to depart the Romulan Empire thus
abandoning his work with the Vulcan sympathizer underground,
which he would never do merely for his own safety. After all, with the Romulan
Commander marked for death, an all out manhunt for Spock cannot be far behind.
- And there can be also the
however morally ambiguous Darius Darius and how he becomes the reluctant
- On Romulus in the time following the Dominion War,
peace after the long strife has brought a renewed surge in popular sentiment
for rapprochement with Vulcan and normalized relations with the Federation,
concomitant with the demand for improved liberties; all soon enough to be
followed by a break down in government, a rash of palace intrigue and perhaps
somewhat improbable coup d'état, the long prepared rise of Praetor Shinzon and
the Remans, all as sets the stage for
'Star Trek: Nemesis'
- Copyright Aaron Agassi 2002 -2005
'The Enterprise Incidence'
is an unfinished collaborative fanfic brainstorm
story challenge to
Trek: The Ship of Fools'