Iron Sky Zero:
Copyright 2013 - 2017
the eerie moon light, by the smoldering
wreck of a crashed flying vehicle in a snowy
waste land, an impeccably manicured very
feminine hand wipes two teardrops from a
beautiful pair of hazel eyes. Vamipirella
flashes back to lost Draculon, the rivers of
blood, running dry as one of the twin suns,
a variable star, intensifies its radiation.
The tear drips hanging from her finger tips,
focus the light of twin stars rising over
the South Pole, and twin spiders materialize
over the back of hand! Mysteriously, the
moonlit shadows diverge into two! And the
twin spiders set to work upon a great web
resembling a loom over the branches of
adjacent trees in a grove, are spinning
Vampirella's signature scanty costume over
Vampirella herself, slowly and languorously
rising and emerging into the gloom from the
obscuring web strands, slipping on her arm
band and bracelet. More smaller spiders slip
down their strands, to comb her lustrously
layered raven tresses, whilst the larger
twin spiders attach her signature earrings.
- But the earrings, and as we full
back, the hair, can be seen to be
hanging the wrong way (until obscured by
collar sliding down to cover them),
because, as we understand when the
is hanging by her heels like a bat, her
boobs compressing towards her neck as
the webstrands consolidate into her
costume, and the web thereby dissipates.
Vampirella stretches down one arm over
her head, crossing it with the other in
a manner reminiscent to that of the
position of the crossed legs in the
card that she produces out of thin air,
in the idle legerdemain of an impromptu
card trick. But failing to notice the
two spiders having returned to the back
of her hand, she inadveritently tweaks
them between her fingers, and the bite
her before dropping off a sailing off on
spider silk parachutes in order to lay
The eerie shadowy submarine like interior. There
are sounds of struggle hand to hand struggle,
gun fire and screams. Vampirella is locked in
mortal struggle with the crew. Vampirella kills
them all, their blood dripping down her chin.
One remains standing, drops his blaster, raises
his shaking hands begging: "I'm just a
scientist!" Vampirella lets him flee. But
meanwhile, one that Vamprella has drained, with
his last breath crawls over to the control panel
and launches the ship, with Vampirella trapped
onboard. She finds the autopilot set to course.
Then the control panel, already smoldering from
errant gun fire, explodes! As the ship takes
off, Vampirella bangs on the hatch, but its too
late. The ground outside, and the fleeing
scientist, recede beneath the rising craft.
An urgent voice from her communications bracelet
commands: "Vampire Ella, report, report!" But
the signal goes to static and fades away.
composes herself, and takes stock of her
situation, licking her lips at the sight of
hundreds of people in the cargo hold, suspended
in hibernation tubes. Vamprella, fangs
protruding, licks her lips, famished an
even in her voracious blood thirst, Vampirella is
transfixed in amazement at the view out the
The autopilot maintains the craft on course for
a great aperture at the pole of the decimated
planet Draculon. The horizon curves into a
ring, as the craft plunges through the inside out
planetary interior, at the center of which, the
engines cut off and vessel becomes suspended in microgravity until
all is silence!
Out the cockpit windshield Vampirella beholds a
view from outer space, in perpetual shadow of
permanent eclipse behind one of twin moons, from
the rays of twin suns. Vampirella, voice over:
"I have lost all track of time wearing on in
this place. Plenty to eat, just no one to talk
to. I think that they are all brain dead! -Only
good for food when I revive them. I take what I
need and put them back. Later they regenerated
the lost blood, and provide me another meal."
The EEGs are all flatline. "I don't know why. I
can find no record of what might have happened
or why they are here. And yet I can feel them
all accusing me, trapped here as I am, with no
one to blame but myself. I yearn only to join
them in hibernation stasis, if only I could be
sure not to wind up in a permanent vegetative
coma myself. And I fear any less than warm
welcome upon arrival." Insert edit: Vampirella
at work in a makeshift chemistry lab. "I've been
trying their food, an amino acid fluid drip
sustaining the sleepers intravenously, that I
have reformulated in better imitation of blood,
even in a concentrate, small and light weight,
never spoils, easy to carry and conceal, ideal
sustenance for a fugitive behind enemy lines,
avoiding confrontation and avoidable risk, also
minimizing collateral casualties more innocent
than these invading marauders. I keep finding
myself thinking the very words of the one I
spared: I'm just a scientist! But who am I now?"
Vampirella is balled up in a corner, floating in
a fetal position, her head in one hand, drumming
on the steel deck with the splintered finger nails of the
other. Finally she bolts to her feet, screaming
and throwing a tantrum. But then, through the
portal, Vampirella spies the horizon of the
Earth closing in! The craft has been taken by a
mighty tailwind, now buffeted and tumbling
through the stratosphere. She dashes to the
control panel, now half disassembled, wiring
strewn over the floor, but still cannot make it
work! Things become hazy for Vampirella
A montage ensues, of variations on this very
scene. Vampirella, dressed in her signature
costume, struggling to pilot all manner of
different craft in impending collision: land,
water, sky and interstellar space, even wearing
a leather version of her costume while
struggling to reign in a flaming Pegasus!
Cut to: Pan up from close-up upon an old-timey
oscilloscope, to reveal an antique television
set, displaying the same waveform, inside the
cavernous Sleestak library of skulls.
The Control Voice speaks: "How is destiny best
confronted? "To thine own self be true" sayeth
the Bard. Yet the timid cautionary, the word to
the wise, ever remains: always to mind which way
the wind blows. Think what you like, but keep it
to yourself and do as you are told in order to
survive. Yes, it's easy and popular to declare
that you are who you say you are. But the
powerful ever proclaim that no, you are who
others say you are. You are who I need you to
be. So who is Vampirella?
"That's easy: Everybody knows that Vampirella
is her costume!"
In her idle curiosity, Spiderella finds a
utility for hacking the moon laser on one of
Anfortas' laptops, and watches the feed as it
broadcasts an alert of the collapse of the
Whispering Castle. "A range finder. But who's
watching?" she ponders, zooming the video feed
in and out from the Earth in the lunar sky, all
the way down to the fresh smoking ruins of the
Whispering Castle from above. Then she pivots
the laser, taking in a panorama of the
surrounding lunar landscape. Next she trains the
laser on a nearby bolder, and melts the facing
surface smooth with a powerful burst, until it
becomes reflective. And the refection is
revealed on the side of the laser mount, a
swastika! "Uncle Vlad!" calls out Spiderella.
"Can it wait?" replies Dracula. "Okay." Agrees
Spiderella, like a good girl. Well, she did try
to tell him, she smirks!
For even as Spiderella hacks the Moon Nazi
laser, Vampirella almost fights her way free;
well and bravely, inflicting heavy casualties,
until, Dracula once again makes use of his
mesmerism, this time to compel Vampirella to
sprout huge bat wings, awkward and constraining
in the narrow collapsed space.
Penny has located a video file that she watches
on the laptop. It's another edition of
'Vampirella's Cavalcade of Taboo'. In one
window, archival images are displayed, intercut
with the table top pan from the opening of the
Clamor rises and moving shadows fall, as the
Leather Nubs arive and all Hell breaks loose...
In another window on the laptop screen,
Vampirella narrates: "Lebensborn Eingetragener
Verein was Himmler's SS-initiated,
state-supported, registered association in Nazi
Germany with the goal of raising the birth rate
of "Aryan" children via extramarital relations
of persons classified as "racially pure and
healthy" from the perspective of Nazi racial
hygiene, health ideology and pseudoscientific
Eugenics. Lebensborn encouraged anonymous
births by unmarried women, and mediated adoption
of these children by likewise "racially pure and
healthy" parents, particularly SS-members and
"Lebensborn, German for: 'Fountain of Life'
was the sinister Nazi
Eugenics SS program for breeding their
master race, taking the place of those
exterminated of the Holocaust in order to make
way for them! After the end of the Second World
War, women known for fraternizing with the
enemy, even as resistance spies, where abused
and humiliated along with the offspring of such
issue, legitimate or illegitimate. This applied
no less tragically to Lebensborn.
Now the aging Lebensborn kinder, the hapless SS
bastards and Nazi kidnapping victims, abandoned
and despised, sometimes even hidden away and
confined to Psychiatric institutions, poignantly
searching lifelong for their roots, have finally
"But none so outlandishly as the hither to
eminent rocket scientist, Hans Rupenhorn, now
increasingly regarded as a crank. It has been
said that precisely because he is so evocative,
Rupenhorn is still regarded as a leading rocket
scientist, by colleagues incapable of taking him
Rupenhorn speaks: "Shortly after Neo-Nazi
Holocaust denier Ernst "Mattern" Christof
Friedrich Zündel was released from prison in
Germany on March 1, 2010, five years after his
deportation to Germany from Canada, that
family-friendly whitewash of as movie 'Iron
Sky' found a backer and went into
Sky' blindly perpetuates the Occultist
Neo-Nazi propaganda from which it derives,
wherein glowing accounts of subterranean Arian
Utopias under benevolent alien guidance,
propaganda fabulously strie to rehabilitate
Lebensborn without mention thereof, excising the
Lebensborn kinder from our own story, denying
our struggle, abandoning us all over again.
"But if conditions are so Utopian, than why does
the so-called Illumi-Nazi regime so struggle
with the contraband in Western media and
Schnapps? In truth, they are a captive society
much like East Germany, but SPAM-in-a-can on the
Dark Side of the Moon, a society even the more
on the brink. Therefore, after such long
preparation, ready or not, they must finally
execute their plans, while they still can!
the end of the War, many records where hastily
destroyed, the truth still withheld from the
public at large: How not only their greatest
athletes, but Germany's most brilliant minds
where called upon to participate. And in 1945
Nazi rocket scientists spirited away who knows
how many thousands of blond blue eyed children
to secretly continue breeding their Master Race
in captivity on the Dark Side of Moon, refining
the antigravity technology stolen from Nikola
Tesla by the Vril Society, and raising an army
of conquest for their return to Earth, their
birthright. -or so they are indoctrinated to
Vampirella: "But one of them -or so Rupenhorn
claims- still has a brother on Earth still
searching for him, Rupenhorn himself, a rocket
scientist and troubled adult Lebensborn kinder,
still wondering about their father whom he
seemingly suspects to have been none other than
-wait for it: Werner von Braun, agonizing
therefore: Was Daddy a war criminal?"
- -Here, in illustration, music rising,
the original 'Iron
Sky' trailer footage continues to be
- ... Bringing us back to the Dark
Side of the Moon, where a pressure
suited motorcycle courier riding along
an Autobahn towards a massive and
intimidating swastika formed Albert
Speer architecture while a massive force
of Moon Nazi attack saucers await
deployment from their launch bays.
Rupenhorn continues: "We Lebensborn kinder
abandoned on Earth, can only wonder at the fate
of our brethren shaped at the hand of the
resentful and defeated Nazi state in exile on
the Dark Side of the Moon." Vampirella: "This
enigmatic metaphor, if that is all it really is,
has earned Rupenhorn accolades as literary
genius and social activist, mastering
ideological jujitsu upon the noxious likes of
Ernst Zündel, as that rank travesty 'Iron
Sky' should have done!"
Cut to Mission Control: "All sensing and imaging
systems are now trained upon the lunar surface."
Systems are tracking the trajectory of a space
probe entering lunar orbit over the dark side of
Cut to The space probe over the Dark Side of the
Moon, while unseen back at Mission Control, a
lunar synchronous orbiting space station
hangs stationary over head! It is a great wheel,
turning for artificial gravity, as seen in
'2001: A Space Odyssey", except that instead of
cross beams from the center to the rims, the
wheel radiates out from a gigantic swastika
form! On board the space station Nibelungen,
commands are barked out in German, subtitled:
"Stand by to rig for silent running. Initiate
silent running!" All goes dark. Outside, as the
space probe approaches, the great rotating
swastika wheel goes dark. While, back at mission
control, no one is at all the wiser.
the space probe approaches, hurtling past
the darkened space station, inside the Nazi
Moon base, the order rings out: "Prepare to
deploy camouflage. Go for unfurl." A great
crater pocked fabric form is stretched out
by cranes high over the entire Nazi Moon
city. Inside the Nazi Moon base, the next
order rings out over the speakers: "Begin
inflation." In response, teams of Moon Nazis
fan out to begin hooking up massive pressure
hoses. As the camouflage fabric form
continues unfurling, it also begins to
inflate into convincing lunar landscape,
concealing the entire Moon Nazi
Meanwhile back on Earth, a VIP is ushered into
Mission Control. "As I live and breath, it's
Hans Rupenhorn!" calls out one of the
technicians at his station. "Have you found your
brother?" everyone wonders. "My brother is on
the Dark Side of the Moon." Taking this as a
figure of speech, everyone is conciliatory,
patting him on the shoulder. "Did you at least
track down your father?" "My father is Werner
von Braun." states Rupenhorn, flatly. An
enthusiastic cheer of approval raises up in
response, to what again is taken only
Meanwhile, back within the Nazi Moon Base, the
Moon Nazis stumble and fumble with the pressure
hoses, and just as the Lunar probe orbits
overhead, the massive camouflage falls flat over
the massive and intimidating swastika formed
Albert Speer architecture, producing a
distinctly swastika formed lunar landscape
"Well, I hope no one notices." remarks one Moon
Nazi to another.
Soundtrack: The following verse from Spike
When Herr Goebbels says we own the world and space
We heil, heil right in Herr Goebbels' face
When Herr Goring says, they'll never bomb this place
We heil, heil right in Herr Goring's face
... As, meanwhile, back at mission control, the
image comes in of the distinctly swastika formed
lunar crater! Gawking TV viewers around the
world, are also treated to the
sight! Commentators compare the image with that
of the notorious face on Mars.
- Meanwhile, in crypt of the ruined Whispering
Castle, Renfield urgently draws the attention of
Count Dracula to a portable TV set. Spiderella
smirks and titters. "You knew about this?!"
demand Dracula. "More than that, Master."
clarifies Renfield, obsequiously. "It seems that
Miss Vampirella was her source."
First we follow the backstory of the
Moon Nazi science corps saucer cadet
Braun. We experience the surreal dreamlike
insomniac life amongst the Moon Nazis. Burkhart,
looking forward to the reclaiming of the Earth,
feels something missing in particular, the parents
he never knew, his family. The life he is assured,
one among many sacrifices towards the great cause.
But in his tour of duty in the flying
saucer core, Burkhart strays into the thriving
contraband in Western media and schnapps. Included
is a poster for: 'Indiana Jones and the Uprising
at Sobibor'. Particularly popular are CDs,
magazines and trinkets of Lin Minmei, especially
recording of her hit single:
Burkhart also likes to sneak into the
kindergarden, where the little Moon Nazis are raised
collectively, in order to read them forbidden bed
time stories. One night Burkhart reads to them from
the Silver Surfer graphic novel, wherein the Silver
Surfer has taken to kidnapping exceptional children
on Earth, in order to conserve humanity. Burkhart
breaks down crying.
It is just then, in the middle of the
night, that Burkhart is mysteriously summoned out
onto the Lunar surface. The scene is just like the
excavation of the Monolith in: '2001: A Space
Odyssey' except with Moon Nazis, and instead on the
Monolith, Adolph Hitler in a carbon block like Han
Cut to: Burkhart attends upon an an
aged Hitler, recovering in a sumptuous four poster
bed, like the death bed of 'Citizen Kane.' But
instead of "Rosebud" Hitler exhales the word: "Protoculture,"
dropping a snow-globe of the Nuremburg Rally. Fade.
- Many Lebensborn kinder have followed the
arduous paper trail in search of their roots.
But Rupenhorn's has lead him to the conclusion
that his father was Werner von Braun, and
beyond, to Antarctica and the impending Moon
Nazi invasion. Thence to a Vernian expedition to
the Inner Earth, reuniting him with his brother
or sister, the Moon Nazi Oberstleutnant. But not
before infiltrating Samisdat, the publishing
house of Ernst Zündel and tangling with a
seductive Lunazi sympathizer bent upon earning
her maternity medal by impregnating herself by
Rupenhorn and conserving the von Braun DNA,
before assassinating him! Rupenhorn escapes the
lethal honey pot alive, but disgusted with 'Iron
Sky' as expressed in his interview by
Vampirella, who at that time hunts the minions
of Dracula under cover as an avant-guard art
video: Hans Rupenhorn, voice over: "After the First
World War, the dark occult Vril society achieved
profound psychic rapport with an extraterrestrial
civilization. The aliens, seduced into willful naivety,
viewed the tribal petty nationalism and militarism of
the Nazi cult as merely the primordial savagery of
childlike primitives, transitory amid the emergence of
more progressive civilizing ideas. Indeed, the aliens
perceived kindred spirits enthusiastic about social and
technological progress and improvement of their own
species by spiritual exaltation of Aquarian Age
enlightenment, ritual meditation,
body worship and outreach to advanced civilizations
throughout the galaxy, for rapturous union with higher
intelligence beyond our world, a matter of apparent
crucial importance to the aliens.
Misunderstanding was inevitable.
First encounter did not go entirely as planned, and came
as a shock. Therefore the aliens where impressed at the
Nazis perseverance to continue. Also, the aliens seemed
to like cabaret.
- "So the aliens lent their support to the Nazis
in the form of assistance in the advancement of
antigravity technology, as a liberating means means
of personal transportation, clean and limitless
energy for peace and prosperity.
- "But the aliens made the same mistake as von
Papen and Hindenburg, in imagining that they could
control Hitler after handing him such power, and as
Neville Chamberlain in trusting the promises of the
messianic national savior groomed by the Vril
Society, Führer Adolf Hitler.
the aliens still denied the Nazis beam weapons or
even communications lasers. And the Nazis quickly
found the antigravity technology stolen from Tesla,
useless as any kind of platform for conventional
weaponry. The saucer's gravity field just kept
payloads from dropping away! And machine gun fire
sent the saucer careening backwards at near the
muzzle velocity of a fifty caliber machine gun,
while the bullets harmlessly tumbled of the sky. And
rockets must produce thrust to escape our ship's
G-field, nauseatingly spinning both the saucer and
the launching rocket completely out of control! The
war was over before the problems could be solved.
the time HYDRA, the Thule Society deep science division,
had finally solved the problems by developing
inertialess rail gun technology for the Panzer saucer,
the war was ending and only retreat to the dark side of
the moon remained an option.
"All throughout, the aliens found themselves in support
of an aggressor state waging planet wide war. So they
stalled on assistance with antigravity technology,
delaying its weaponization by the Nazis.
"As the Nazis began losing the war, they fled to
Argentina, the South Pole and the Dark Side of the Moon.
A failed attempt was made to open a wormhole and take
refuge with the aliens.
"Secretly protected by the Allied commandos, from
assassination within his own ranks, Hitler's advancing
dementia and incompetent leadership had squandered every
technological advantage of air superiority on the
spiteful and strategically worthless V2.
"Ultimately, with alien guidance and support, a number
of Germans where allowed refuge in the Inner Earth. The
aliens screened out S.S. and concentration camp
personnel. But all for naught. Inbreeding just doesn't
help. You can't rehabilitate a Fascist Eugenics breeding
community by abetting propaganda whitewash in quietly
quarantining them from the atrocities of their own
ruling war criminals! The so called "ilumi-Nazis"
settled in their new ultramodern city they named: New
"Because far from an enlightened Utopia, a Nazi
techno-dystopia emerged, that many escaping refugees
refer to more aptly, as New East Berlin!" A video
transfer from super8 begins, of buxom naked blond Rhine
maidens writhing and squirming in bondage, gagged with
dental mouth spreaders and blindfolded, in a facility of
gleaming stainless steel.
lectures before a contemptuous audience: "Contrast this
sweet and wholesome scholastic propaganda poster with
the following remarkable archival footage from the
gender dissidence reeducation facility, also called: the
Milk Plant, both smuggled out at tremendous risk and
with considerable ingenuity and personal discomfort,
from New Berlin by refugees fleeing Nazi oppression."
The video is clearly a transfer from super 8. Reaction
shots from the lecture audience are periodically insert
edited, as on screen, the camera pans down and zooms
out, revealing the gynecological examination of pregnant
women in bondage, in sight of men gagged strapped down
and milked as reluctant sperm donors.
Ropenhorn continues: "The finest fertility clinics in
all the world are to be found in New Berlin where
procreation is mandatory. These gender dissidents, as
they are labeled, include not only homosexual men and
women, but free thinkers and careerists delaying
procreation for work or study. These women are seen
being treated for frigidity and hysteria, yes,
understanding dawns, in preparation for artificial
Indeed, at second glance, the
women are not merely shackled or trussed up, but
actually restrained by Waldos, mechanical arms!
Automated hypodermics administer breast injections of
hormone shots, as the last scraps of clothing are cut
away by power scrapples.
The Waldos methodically squeeze
and binding their heavy breasts, suction pumping,
probing and squeezing their nipples, until they lactate
uncontrollably, squinting great steaming white streams
and gouts of milk!
Meanwhile, mouths pried open like
horses inspected at auction, they're perfect pearly
white Arian teeth are power brushed and rinsed. All the
while, they are washed, scrubbed, douched are subjected
to exhausting orgasmic vaginal and anal stipulation,
probes, water jets, vibrators, beads and more, and
finally, artificial insemination, before each being
hoisted up, out and of screen, to make way for the next
patient, all with the same consistent automated
perversion and uniform Prussian efficiency!
One fetching co-ed pantomimes, uproariously, being
milked by her classmates. Rupenhorn contains his
"The premise of Eugenics is fairly straight forward: Why
waste the benefits of animal husbandry, of selective
breeding, only on livestock, instead of doing as much
for the human species as well? In New Berlin, there is
no Human Capital, only human cattle."
"Observe the final enhanced hormone driven
transformation of gender criminals deemed unresponsive
to ideological reeducation, so that they too may still
serve in in rearing new armies the Master Race.
"Still, even in New Berlin, incestuous arranged pairing
in order to emphasize desired human characteristics,
remain controversial, especially because of the practice
of culling from fertility drug induced human litters,
for only the hardiest of such issue.
"As to foreign policy, to this
day, the brutally repressive and raving antiemetic
Eugenics regime of New Berlin continues covertly to
sponsor Neo Nazis and Nazi Skinhead terror and
insurgency around the world, and participates in joint
military R&D with the Moon Nazis.
continues as an exopolitical embarrassment, detrimental
to interstellar relations with NATO and Warsaw Pact
nations alike. And the ever looming interstellar
blitzkrieg of the Moon Nazis continues to threaten even
more irreparable damage.
in order to begin neutralizing the threat so as to calm
tensions, at long last the aliens turned to a truly
enlightened personality, George Soros, the Billionaire
who's personal foreign policy of cost effective
precision strategic intervention has succeeded where the
massive and costly initiatives of nations only blunder
"And no, we are not kept in the
dark by any Zionist controlled media, but as ever, by
Nazi propaganda. Still, you'd think the Jews ought to
pay more interest. Maybe their all in denial again.
"But I digress: Anything to give
any impression of public exposure, risked spurring the
Moon Nazis to advance their timetable for invasion. And
so any overt Radio Free Worlds campaign was ruled out.
Hence was it resolved to help foster the already
thriving contraband in Western media and schnapps
amongst the Moon Nazis. Among other projects, through
Soros, the aliens funneled money into promoting the
sentimental ballads of Chinese national and Japanese pop
idol, Lin Minmei, reasoning that, and I quote: "Nazi's are cornball!" Ironically, at long last,
there was any glimmer of hope of alien redemption of
Nazi society: The captive society of the Moon Nazis is a
regime on the brink! However, in its very success, the
covert media via contraband campaign threatens to
backfire, as the Moon Nazi regime hastens to launch
their interstellar blitzkrieg while they still can."
to: At the wreck of the flying craft in which Vampirella
crashed in the Antarctic, a swastika emblazoned black
box flight recorder is retrieved. In as burst of static,
cut to the footage of black box flight recorder:
Spatio-chronometics normal --- Antigravs back on line
--- The open cargo bay retreats from view. The
flying craft in which Vampirella escaped Draculon is
seen in retreating silhouette, until it is sucked back
into the inner Earth through the South Polar entrance.
Vampirella struggles with the controls of the Moon Nazi
flying saucer, for that is what it is, as it crash lands
in the raging blizzard.
Cut to: Vampirella burgles a
high tech facility in order to purloin the black box,
and flees as the the intruder sounds. Vampirella darts
amid the shadows, as search lights glare and alarm
klaxons blare throughout a vast futuristic city full of
swastika banners and Nazi propaganda displays.
Cut to a somewhat
unusual dairy farm. Enter the burly farmer in his
Grünjean, who to his surprise finds none other
than Vampirella lounging on a bale of hay seemingly
right at home with the others!
Grünjean blinks in
surprise. But at second glance, the others are now
sporting little Halloween attire and props. Grünjean
shrugs and moves on. Vampirella, dairy suction attached,
moos and nuzzles placidly with the others: "Ah, bliss!"
off momentarily, to discretely open a small crate
discretely tucked under the bale of hay, and drink from
one of the few remaining vials within. Vampirella then
notices a package left leaning up against her stall, it
is another identical crate, which she tucks under the
bail along with the other little crate.`
out and back in again: In the darkness, Vampirella is
sneaking back in from outside, not to wake the
sleepstanding cowgirls in their milking stalls.
The light clicks back on! The cow girls awake and
surround Vampirella, their backs turned. "No, please!"
wails Vampirella. "You have incurred the Meidung, the
shunning!" "What?" "Sneaking around at night, didn't you
think we'd find out?" "You should get out more! I work
part time at the cabaret. I have expenses." "You also
made of it quite a night on the town." "We went out
after work." "You killed your date!" "He was a
ritualistic serial killer, of considerable supernatural
power." "This is not or way!" shouts the cow girl.
"He was a party member" adds Herr Grünjean. "His victims
where small children, all in order to heighten his
vril!" "He was a party member." repeats Herr Grünjean.
"We found this as well." Adds another cow girl. It is
the black box. "What you came to this city for, take it
and leave New Berlin." "We watched it. We don't quite
understand, but we gather that it poses questions and
suggests answers along your path." "And don't be too mad
at Penissa for giving you up," adds Herr Grünjean. "I
can be most patient and persuasive."
They embrace, tearfully. "It is
not safe for you here." "It is not safe for any of us,
harboring you any longer." interjects Herr Grünjean. The
cow girl continues: "Take it and go, Countess
Duckullona, vegetarian vampire. And do not return until
you know who you are!"
Vanpirella departs, effortlessly
slinging the heavy crate of vials of blood substitute
serum over her shoulder with one arm, and taking the
black box by the handle in the other hand. "Did she
notice that LulaBell is absent?" worries one of the cow
girls. "Did she notice two of her little vials missing?"
wonders Grünjean. The cow girls only return a blank
stare. "I added that stuff into LulaBell's feed. It
seems to help" explains Grünjean. In a clinic back room,
a pale and queasy looking
Cut to: In the Sleestak Library
of Skulls, two
grovel before Dracula, wailing: "Mercy, Master!" "We
were both bloated like ticks, and she was still
standing!" "Had you not the wherewithal to finish her
off?" roars Dracula "Vampirella would tear off our heads
and shit down our necks!" "Besides, it still worked.
Vampirella is on the move again."
Enik, the Black
Sleestak, looks on. The other Sleestaks amass,
hissing and barring teeth! But they keep their distance.
- Cut to: A hidden Antarctic Nazi base in a raging
blizzard. Inside, a computer screen indicates in
German: "Satellite uplink secure." Nazis are channel
surfing on a TV set. The 'Land of the Lost' opening
theme plays: "...on a routine expedition..." "Vas
ist?" queries one Nazi couch potato to the other.
Click, the 'Gilligan's Island theme plays: "a three
hour tour, a three hour tour..."
Suddenly, a bat flutters in via
the ventilation shaft, and transforms into Vampirella.
Then all Hell breaks loose! On the TV set, plays a scene
from 'Little Nicky', beginning as the Devil says: "Well,
sorry boys and girls, two o'clock, time to shove a
pineapple up Hitler's ass" and ending in "Holy Schnit!"
Time passes. Fade out and back
in. Vampirella watches out the window. The Antarctic sea
is grey and violent with storm. What Vampirella there
witnesses, astonishes her. Vampirella then looks to the
the Nazis, tied up on the couch for explanation. "It's
none of our business." states one of them, flatly.
Vampirella, now in possession of
the black box, set down on the kitchen table,
interrogates the captive terrified Nazis she has taken
there, feeding upon them until they become dazed and
anemic, Vampirella resorts not only to her formidable
powers of mesmerism, but to every resource of
persuasion, of seduction, abuse and intimidation.
Vampirella learns everything that her adoring captives,
sniveling, weeping and broken like Renfield, have become
so desperate to tell her! Background score:
'You Always Hurt the One You Love' by by Allan Roberts
and Doris Fisher.
"How do you like me now,
Adam?" muses Vampirella, satiated and disgusted with
herself. Vampirella, naked, wears the Saint Christopher
Medallion one of the Moon Nazis, half hoping it will
On a laptop computer runs a
simulation, displaying how the bowl shaped spatial
inversion of the so-called Hollow Earth,
Pelucidar/Skartaris/Aghartha, connecting the Earth and
another distant planet, Draculon! The Terrestrial entry
is a South Polar aperture, while the opening on Draculon
has expanded, grown vast, into a vast maw, lending a
bowl shaped appearance. Vast mountains pierce high into
the stratosphere, giving the appearance of pointy devil
horns. The twin moons of Draculon now have a new third
companion in the planet's sky. An additional new moon of
Draculon, once a massive asteroid, has become captured
in synchronous orbit over the very center of this abyss,
casting a shadow cone down within.Before departing
the snowbound cabin, Vampirella unshackles her beaten
and dazed captives, and serves them a meal. Dracula
appears! "Whole grain buckwheat croissants, with goose
liver pate, so rich with iron. Milk and fresh baked worm
meal cookies, a sweet and tasty protein replacement for
blood donors. Can I take some home for Renfield?"
"There's frozen dough in the ice chest outside." "You
are softhearted, yes, Vampirella, though no less
formidable. I have always known that. Therefore my
dismissive contempt for you has been misplaced. I am
here to amend my discourtesy of pettiness." "Here it
"You know their bodies will mend, but
you have so deftly broken their little Nazi
spirits." "Very well. I'm asking: What must I do for
them?" "Must? Do as you see fit! Remember only that
the Grail will reject you because of inner turmoil.
Therefore do not miser all of your disgust only for
yourself. That galling bile for you, all bottled up,
is everything, the very nectar and ambrosia for your
new minted thralls, if only all of their debased
fawning might ever provoke you! As they say, and you
yourself can well arrest, no good deed goes
unpunished. That is why unlike you, Vampirella, I
myself play the hero, much les the martyr, as
infrequently as possible, and make the most of it
whenever I do. Evil is that which demeans the human
spirit. Evil is my greatest indulgence. But do not
call ne Sadist. Rather, call De Sade... a Draculist,
if you will! I do evil all the time, and revel
therein, but I am never admonished or brought to
task by my eager victims, quite the contrary! But
you surpass me, Vampirella. You are an inspiration!
You are living vindication of the loving nature
dignifying evil. Embrace that! Understand that the
only thing that these broken wretches crave from
you, is the hope of your favor, affirmation of their
bonds of abject groveling. Can you do that? It will
make you complete. Them too. Indeed, they will
thrive in loving submission to your beneficent
"Who am I, Wonder Woman?" demands
Vampirella. "Are you?" shrugs Count Dracula. Insert
edit: Video of Linda Carter as Wonder Woman,
declaring: "All women are Wonder Woman, Vampire
Ella." Back to reality, Vampirella: "Can't we just
fight? That would be easier." Dracula: "Regrettably,
I perceive that you are on a tight schedule and so
we will be cut short this evening. Otherwise,
truthfully, for the daunting obligation of girding
my loins, I might hesitate to disturb you by
indulging myself in such a mere social visit." But
Vampirella is gone.
Vampirella finds herself ill at ease,
forging through the blizzard, and turns back towards
the base. "A clean conscience, or none at all."
muses Vampirella. "Thank you." Inside, she finds
Count Dracula gone. Vampirella begins tantalizing
and abusing her eager thralls, just as Dracula bade
her. Vampirella vents all of her contempt and
disgust upon the eager fawning wretches, until she
only finds herself choking on her own bile, sobbing,
weeping, vomiting, piteously begging their
forgiveness. First they are stunned, and then clear
eyed at long last, standing or sitting upright,
regaining possession of themselves.
The piercing light of the twin stars,
the binary suns of Draculon, visible over the South
Pole, shine in through the window, as the raging
blizzard finally abates. Vampirella follows out into
the vast snow fields.
The oily black bile pulses ands
perambulates like living protoplasm on the cabin
floor, until it begins smoking and suddenly ignites,
right there on the floor boards!
Fade in: The VTOL cargo plane, for
that is what it is, drifts in the microgravity at
the center of the inside out world, the so called
Inner Earth, shielded in eternal night of eclipse
behind the shadow of largest and newest of
Draculon's moons, from the harshness of the raging
variable sun, Satyr the twin star to Circe. The
plane is adrift in a circular course, keeping the
moon opposite Satyr, as Draculon rotates and the
suns rise and set. Present day Vampirella, in her
familiar costume, yet bat-winged, soars through the
vortex, in order to re-board the plane. "Barely
moments have passed here." muses Vampirella,
checking the onboard chronometer. "I could have
escaped at anytime, but the microgravity and the
view out the cockpit, and the calm at the eue of the
storm, all conspired make me think that we where in
the airless vacuum of outer space."
Within the plane, standing before
crates of wooden stakes, garlic and bottles of holly
water, Vampirella retracts her wings and summons up
the Holy Grail in order to revive the sleepers, who,
first waking and dressing themselves in hospital
scrubs and slippers, then summarily bypass the
shattered controls in the cockpit, with flight
simulator software on a laptop with game controller,
in order to land once again, through the zone of
spatial inversion, the so-called Inner Earth, right
back on Draculon where Vampirella first fought her
- Cut to: Vampirella, hands over her head,
descending the ramp from the swastika emblazoned
VTOL cargo plane. Armed pissed off Nazis await.
Vampirella addresses Oberstleutnant Burkhart von
Braun, sharp and resplendent in an SS uniform with Hydra insignia.
"Just a scientist?" smears Vampirella. "Indeed I am
making scientific history." reposts Burkhradt
lightly. "How's that going for you?" "Minor
setbacks..." "From flatlining your fellow
scientists?" "Traitors, the lot of them, turned Gaia
cultists! I found then out, polluted, impure and
recalcitrant, after thorough examination and
- "Better comatose and yielding their secrets via live
necropsy back on the Dark Side of the Moon, in your
idyllic National Socialist Utopia, after you
flatlined them all. Except that I threw a span into
the works by unwittingly highjacking your plane."
- "No use crying over spilt milk." "They are alive and
well. We are returned to complete your mission."
"How obliging." "Your brother sends warm greetings."
"My brother has found his own way here." Hans
Rupenhorn steps forth from amid the armed Nazis.
"But time enough for fond family reunion, after..."
- "Your space blitzkrieg, so long and arduous in
- "Why can't we just all fly away to Mars, like Daddy
wanted?!" demands Rupenhorn, petulantly. "You do not
approve, Vampire Ella, any more than my spineless
little brother? And yet you need to see this
through. Curiosity killed the cat, they say. The
obligations of authority are often burdensome to the
superior intellect fit to rule. I was weak and
swayed by pure science and my own philosophical
bent. But my military discipline has returned me to
my duty. National Socialism is more single minded
than any quest for truth in mundane reality instead
of transcendental ideals. Because of our mystical
bonds, beyond your comprehension, we Nazis will
triumph." "We shall see!" smirks Vampirella. "And
just whom do you presume lecture upon blood magiks?"
- "Schpocken!" barks Burkhart. "Take charge of the
prisoner." Vampirella finds herself confronted by a
stoical Nazi, distressingly quite immune to all of
her charms. "Hmph!" protests Vampirella, folding her
- Vampirella and the dissidents,
having exchanged their scrubs for
Hydra robes san the hoods, join
their captors, the loyal Moon Nazis,
S.S, and regular army, on safari out
to contend with all the perils of
the forest primeval!
Out into the scorching waste, at least the
dry air seems helpful in purging parasites
picked up in the jungle.
Schpocken, shirtless, stoically
allows the blistering sun to kill the burrowing
insects and blood sucking grubs on his back.
Others stop to scrub their scalps of ticks and
fleas, with the desert sand. Suddenly one of
women SS officers bolts and runs in a panic,
stumbles to the ground, and crawling, shimmies
out of her cloths, as the enormous insect larva
slithers out from her anus!
The creature is summarily
impaled on the elegant spike of Vampirella's
Cut to: The giant insect turns
on a spit over an open flame. Schpocken chews
slowly and stoically. The former host of the
parasite, eats with a certain perverse
satisfaction. Burkhart, savoring a bite, pours
schnapps from a hipflask, over the meat.
Across the strange and burning
wasteland, they are embattled with relentless
desert partisan snipers!
When all are in frightened disarray,
Vampirella observes Schpocken, keeping his
wits about him, engaged in a sniper's duel.
Vampirella taking the form of a bat, goes
forth to get the drop on the Partisans in
order to disable them without harming them,
and then returns to the Nazis.
- The Nazis collect their dead.
Even the dissidents are spoiling for
revenge, so that Vampirella and Burkhart
find themselves in awkward alliance
maintaining discipline. Cracks even begin
appearing in Schpoken's stoical reserve, as
he cradles in his calloused hand, of all
things, a Minmei plushy keychain from his
vest pocket, which he then, straightening
himself, casts away without another glance.
- The expedition forges on, arriving at long
last, at the Forbidden City of the Sleestak.
interior of the Lost City, the vast subterranean
complex of the Sleestak, it is discovered that
expedition members thought lost in the jungle, had
actually been stealthily captured by the Partisans.
For they are now set as human bait for the most
dangerous traps within the labyrinthine Lost City of
the Sleestak, where the Partisans have been waiting
all the while, long expert in navigating the twists
and turns of the underground complex while evading
Humanity, reptiles of the same gender where territorial,
but of opposite gender, reciprocally indifferent except
during mating. But then during the first age of the
solar storms, the ancestors of the Altrusians where
bitten by the swarming scarabs, becoming Draculon
spider-children, changed by the infusion of insect
- Finally the twisting chambers and passages open
into a large chamber. "At last! The fabled Library
of Skulls." declares Burkhart.
- "We claim the Altrusian grace!" announces
- With that, the belligerent hissing Sleestak
all retreat, except for Enik the Black Sleestak,
- The Sleestak skulls set upon display within
the rock hewn chamber, illuminate: "We await
- "In the name of the Fuhrer Adolf Hitler:
What is the secret of protoculture?" demands
The modern Sleestak are still all drones, save for
their queen. Thus we have never known individual gender
relations of any kind." explains one of the skills,
"That is the Voice of Natural Science." Rupenhorn
whispers to Burkhart. "The ways of the mammals confound
us." amplifies a different illuminated skull. "The Voice
of Wisdom." clarifies Rupenhorn. "Come to the point."
"Very well, Enik:" acquiesces yet
another Sleestak skull, pulsing with colored light.
"The Voice of Ancient History." Rupenhorn clarifies.
"Remember love. So is it written, anciently. The
condition of male and female abiding together:
culture." "Make of that what you will." councils the
Voice of Wisdom.
"When I hear the word 'culture'" spits
Burkhart, "I reach for my revolver." "A pragmatist."
observes Enik. "A Totalitarian, an adherent to the
just life under comprehensive guidance of the State,
as a student of the natural order and the meaning of
"Freedom pursues meaning created in
the mind." replies Enik. "But rigid ideological
heteronomy to any natural order dictates all aspects
of situation beforehand. And therein one may
discover perhaps disappointment. Such likewise may
have come the downfall of the Altrusians."
is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not
attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling
transmission. Damn it, we are controlling the
transmission! We will control the horizontal. Hang on a
second. Almost got it. Okay. We will control the
vertical. Just a second, wait, almost got it now. Eh.
- "We will control the volu... THE VOLUME!!!! The
volume. Okay, that's better. We can change the focus
to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. We
can. It's been a while. Okay, got it now. Sit
quietly and we will control all that you see and
What is it? Save your questions for later. Put down
your hand. Just sit down. You are about to
participate in a great adventure, to experience the
awe and mystery..." the Control Voice falters and
falls silent, then demanding: "The mystery is: What
has happened on the Earth?"
"Many glorious things." replies Burkhart. "You went
dark!" exclaims the Control Voice.
"We went digital" shouts Hans Rupenhorn over his
shoulder, running away.
- "Are you mad? Digital? Only analogue calculation
decodes mathematical and physical data in which
quantities are represented by physical magnitudes,
distances, relations, voltages and currents capable
of continuous change, so that solutions are obtained
by creating changes in conditions or processes
analogous to that of the problem and then measuring
the results. The intergalactic magnetically charged
plasma filaments are not digital. How will you ever
learn the song of the Quasars, or the music of
Voice, we remained analog." announces
Burkhart "Why, so you did. Good for you." "Control
Voice?" "You do not understand, but you will..." "No,
Control Voice, we can understand" protests Burkhart.
"We are the Master Race, the salvation of humanity.
We've worked it all out!"
"Indeed, have you? Then you are the one with all the
answers! You have undertaken the quest, standing ready
for the challenge? Very well then, riddle me this: Who
are the pollinators of Eden?" As the giant plants begin
to stir, the dissidents call out in jubilation: "We are
the pollinators of Eden!"
They all find themselves hoisted
skyward by the motile vines, cloths torn and bodies
probed by giant stamens, covered in pollen and passed
along from one gigantic flower to the next. Vampirella
transforms into a bat, and escapes. For the dissidents,
sighing in delight, this is rapture. But for the
screaming Moon Nazis, consternation, horror and
violation. Shpocken remains stoical.
As the Sleestaks flee in panic as
the ground shakes and their subterranean complex is rent
is astonished to behold Count Dracula, standing right
there next to Enik.
"You knew?" demands Vampirella.
Dracula and Enik look share a quick glance, turning back
to Vampirella. "You never asked." states Enik, flatly.
Dracula shrugs in ascent.
The roots of the Eden grove
reach ever deeper into the soil, until the red mud oozes
forth, flowers bloom across the land, and the Styx, the
river of blood, flows freely once again.
The sage spirits rise up from
the dray dust of the river beds, with the first taste of
the planet's quenching blood, to educate the Vampri children gathering in wonder by the river
The Sleestak forced out into the open by the collapse of
their subterranean complex, the Lost City, confront the
radiation of the deadly variable star, with dread. But
suddenly, the sky and cloud cover begin to change,
comfortably muting the harsh day light of the deadly
variable star. Vampirella and the Vampiri soar in
celebration, as their world finally heals itself to
Cut to: Sitting behind his desk
in his office taking tea and scones with the secretarial
pool in his offices with a view of the Lunar landscape
outside, an aged Adolph Hitler receives and reads the
"Never trust a von Braun!" grumbles the
Fuhrer in German, subtitled.
Cut to the field
the symbiont to attach, and
then rises to her knees. Dissolve:
The host stands wearing a simple short dress of
sheer fabric, the opacity or
translucency whereof, varying with
the angle of the light, affording
glimpse of the symbiont moving
beneath. The symbiont addresses the
audience through the host:
"We love you."